Vienna
Spring 2016
"Where are we," Nina piped up next to Barnes as she surveyed the nondescript warehouse facade they were approaching with wary curiosity. Nadine bit back a grin.
The building that housed her Workshop loomed before them in the steadily falling darkness, quiet and nearly ominous in its nondescript appearance, shadowed as it was by the quickly failing light. Especially surrounded as it was by equally silent and mostly abandoned and even derelict buildings. Buildings that looked nearly indistinguishable from one to the next from the exterior of Nadine's Workshop; as was intended. It would rather defeat the purpose, after all, if her building looked like it was the only occupied or well-maintained one in the immediate area.
And it certainly looked like it fit among its neighbours. Nadine had been very careful about that. Only about half of the warehouses and other buildings in the surrounding square kilometre were even properly occupied, anymore. And this time of the evening? What few of the surrounding warehouses were still in use were long since vacated in favour of homes, save for the odd nightguards.
Indeed, in their short walk from where Nadine had set the Quinjet down, they had seen a single car, and it had exited the lot of the building beyond Nadine's, turning to head in the opposite direction.
Nadine glanced to her daughter. Nina hovered near Barnes, still eying the warehouse exterior with undisguised consideration. Skeptical consideration. Nadine nearly smirked. Especially when she caught Steve's eye. Steve, who'd been here before and who had been equally uncertain until the moment she'd let him in the door.
Steve bit back a smile of his own, subtly readjusting Barnes' arm where it braced around his shoulders for stability. Something Barnes noticed, the wounded supersoldier darting a questioning look between Nadine and Steve. Readjusting Barnes' pack where it was slung over her shoulder, Nadine's lip twitched.
"A Safe Place," she answered simply. Nina's head snapped around to look at Nadine, eyes wide as she looked between Nadine and the exterior of her Workshop.
"A Safe—The Safe Place," Nina repeated, startled, "the place whose address you had me memorize when I was a kid? That Safe Place? This is it?" Nadine smiled with a faint swell of pride, pleased that Nina obviously remembered perfectly.
"Yes. That Safe Place."
It was then that she noticed Steve shooting her a questioning look. Catching her eye, he nodded unconsciously toward Nina.
"You told her about your Workshop?" Nadine offered a tense smile and half a shrug.
"Sort of. A last resort safe place to go, in case the worst happened," she explained, repeating what she'd impressed on Nina when she'd had her learn the address and her unique access codes by rote years before.
"Only if something happened to her or she told me to go," Nina added quietly, her face paling noticeably, even in the low light. Nadine's heart clenched painfully. Nina had just realized the true significance of what she had been encouraged to learn so many years before and the true reasons why, armed as she now was with everything she'd discovered about Nadine's past and her own since she'd last been in Vienna. It meant she suddenly had a much better grasp on why Nadine had insisted she know the address and codes by heart, yet had been reluctant to elaborate on the place itself or its purpose.
Inhaling a slow, bracing breath, Nadine waved them all forward. As unlikely as it was that they'd be spotted in the virtually abandoned industrial park—her diligence in ensuring any cameras on the neighbouring buildings weren't facing her building or were too far out of effective range to pick up anything substantial made sure of that—Nadine was still uneasy being out in the open. Especially given how, pale as their uniforms were, Nadine and Nina did rather stand out in the falling darkness in a way Steve and Barnes' darker coloured uniforms definitely did not. "C'mon. We need to get inside," she said firmly. But not without a reassuring glance to Nina. Though her features were still far more drawn and subdued than usual and her eyes were still full of questions, Nina nodded her understanding, following her mother's silent gesture to fall into step beside her, walking close enough that her leg hit the duffel Nadine carried. It was all Nadine could do not to let out a shaky sigh of relief that she'd done so. That she still wanted that proximity, even if only unconsciously.
After what happened on the Quinjet? She honestly feared that something had broken between her and her daughter. Perhaps irreparably. The parallels to how Nina had responded to Nadine's confessions after Sokovia were too marked to be dismissed. She'd taken the confirmation to Barnes' being her father...well, Nadine wasn't honestly sure. Whether it was because she was simply too unsettled to get a proper read on Nina, Nina was concealing her feelings or a degree of both, Nadine wasn't sure. Either way, Nadine truthfully didn't know exactly what Nina was feeling about any of it—about Barnes being her father or Nadine's reasons for keeping it from her...or that she'd kept it from her at all.
But she was hopeful.
The signs were good so far and, despite part of her warning that she not get her hopes up, she was nevertheless optimistic that, like everything after Sokovia, they would be able to heal and move past this.
At the very least, it seemed like Nina was well on her way to processing everything. She wasn't nearly as withdrawn as she had been just about a year previous, when she'd been struggling with the aftermath of the Ultron Fiasco and learning the truth about Nadine's past and the implications on her own life.
Though, Nadine had a strong suspicion that had everything to do with Barnes.
Somehow, Barnes had managed to connect, to bond with her—his daughter. And it was astonishingly clear that Nina had responded to whatever it was that they'd been talking about while Nadine had been occupied with getting them safely out of Russia and into Vienna without detection. There had been no mistaking the pleased relief on Steve's face when Nadine had turned to him, torn over whether or not she should even ask what was happening; she'd only just been able to make out that they were talking, but between the sound of the engines and the low volume of their conversation, she hadn't been able to get a sense of the mood of their exchange, much less discern what it was about.
But to see Steve so...happy?
"He got her to laugh," he'd murmured in response to her questioning look. And Nadine's throat had grown almost painfully tight. She nearly hadn't been able to breath for relief of her own.
She couldn't bear the idea of losing her little girl.
Steve had just smiled, his hand rising to brush tenderly against her hair and graze over the back of her neck as he'd leaned down to place a light kiss against the crown of her head.
"She's going to be okay," he'd murmured as she'd risen from the pilot's seat not long after, necessitating Nadine to squeeze her eyes shut against the influx of emotion. He'd pulled her close at that, and she'd melted against him in a moment of weakness, almost desperate for the comfort. "He's got her. We've all got her."
Only for the kiss that followed to be interrupted by Barnes' puckish quip and Nina's poorly hidden snickers.
Like father like daughter, apparently...
Inhaling, a small smile on her lips that echoed the wavering one her daughter's encouraging shift in demeanor on the Quinjet had inspired, Nadine popped open the panel next to the side entrance that served as her Workshop's lone entry point. Almost the instant the keypad was revealed her fingers were flying over the screen with a brisk ease that came with frequent repetition, simultaneously entering her code and offering her fingerprints for confirmation.
The instant the faint acceptance tone sounded, she was entering the command for the garage door to open and ushering her companions inside. And at once was nearly chuckling in amusement at her daughter's obvious curiosity as she took in the garage alone. An amusement Steve evidently shared given the way his eyes were smiling as he too watched Nina take in the space as the lights gradually came up. As Nadine closed up the external keypad and hit the control inside to close up the exterior door, Nina was considering Nadine's reliable—though regrettably neglected given how long it had been since she'd used the poor thing, having always turned to either of her cars anytime she'd been in Europe in the last year when she even bothered to stop at her Workshop at all—custom BMW motorcycle with obvious recognition where it sat next to the equally customized dark, charcoal-grey sedan and silver crossover parked securely inside the garage space.
Stifling her grin lest Nina think she was laughing at her, Nadine crossed the garage to the entry into her Workshop proper, drawing Nina's attention from her perusal of the variety of equipment and other paraphernalia lining the bench that ran along the inner wall of the garage. Another few brisk taps later and the security on the interior door was appeased and giving its own tone of acceptance.
Much as Nadine anticipated, as they all filed inside Nina's interest turned wide-eyed. As she edged past Nadine, Steve and a visibly approving Barnes into the space, she dropped the duffle she was carrying with a muffled thump.
"This is so cool," Nina murmured to herself, her keen eyes darting around the room, drinking in everything from the corner set aside for training to Nadine's 'office' space beneath the loft, to her weapons' storage unit to the bulletin boards next to the entry they'd just come through. She turned back to Nadine, her eyes bright with interest. "So this is your, what, your home base?" Nadine smiled, setting down her gun case and the duffle she carried next to the bag Nina had dropped as her daughter drifted further into her Workshop.
"For all intents and purposes," she confirmed. Nina spared her a glance. One that was brimming with barely restrained questions.
And none of the accusation she feared seeing. Not even after the lingering way Nina had been looking at the bulletin boards that still displayed bits and pieces of Nadine's work from her search for Barnes. Nadine withheld a sigh of relief.
It was a very good sign indeed.
"Not bad, Rykova," Barnes piped up, drawing her attention away from Nina. Nadine was caught between the urge to smile and frown. The faint, pained tightness to his voice had grown more pronounced over the course of their short trek from the abandoned lot where they'd left the Quinjet.
"It serves," she waved off absently, earning a soft chuckle from Steve and a crooked grin from Barnes as the pair of them followed Nina further into the Workshop. Only for the former HYDRA agent to sigh as he noticed the way she was eying him. And for good reason. Not only was he sounding worse again, even if only mildly, but he was starting to look it too. He looked exhausted, his already wan complexion paling further and his eyes losing a touch of their vibrancy. And he was leaning far more heavily on Steve again than she liked. There was little doubt he was hurting. It was evident in every move he made, no matter his efforts to hide it.
What he needed now more than anything was rest.
That, at least, was something Nadine could help with.
"The loft just up there has a pair of rooms," she said, joining the pair of supersoldiers as they watched Nina edge closer to the bulletin boards, unsurprisingly drawn to the content they displayed—Nadine couldn't help but note Barnes' jaw tense slightly as he realized what they were devoted to. "Each with a bed," she continued, tactfully ignoring the minute but telling reaction, "one for me and one for Nina. Barnes, you'll be in mine." For a brief moment, he looked like he was about to object, but at a challenging look from her, Barnes dipped his head in reluctant agreement. She didn't allow her pleased smirk to show outwardly. On Barnes' other side, Steve grinned, sparing Nadine a quick, amused glance.
"You really are prepared for anything," he said, managing to sound both resigned and impressed at the same time in a way only he seemed able to manage. She managed to hold back a snort of amusement at the teasing.
"If I was," she bantered back, wrinkling her nose in mock disappointment with herself, "there'd be a guest room as well." Steve's expression turned faintly considering, his eyes warm with laughter.
"Well, no one's perfect," he shot back after a moment. Nadine huffed, suppressing an eyeroll. Not that she was entirely able to hide her grin. Grinning himself, Steve spared her a fond look before beginning to lead Barnes off toward the stairs.
"Steve?" Twisting as best as he was able to peer around Barnes, Steve looked to her. She nodded over toward the stairs tucked in behind the sitting area in the far corner. "Door on the right." He followed her gaze to the stairs and up to the loft, nodding. "If you're up to it, of course," she added, her deadpan delivery hampered by the smirk playing about her lips.
Looking back to her, Steve huffed out a chuckle.
"I think I'll manage, Ryker," he threw back dryly. Smiling, Nadine called softly to Nina then, holding out Barnes' bag when Nina reluctantly abandoned her perusal of Nadine's Workshop to obey the unspoken request to return to Nadine's side. Nina took it automatically, though her brow furrowed in question. A question Nadine could guess easily enough. She nodded Nina over toward the stairs, too.
"That's—Barnes'," she explained, her hesitation not going wholly unnoticed. "You're the second door on the left." Nina frowned, looking up to the loft herself.
"But what about you and Steve?" Nadine blinked at the question, having not entirely expected it.
Truthfully, she hadn't planned on resting. Her plans included keeping watch and hammering out details and laying the groundwork on the rough plan for taking the Raft she and Steve had come up with over the course of their flight to Vienna. She spared Nina a reassuring smile, reaching out to brush back a few strands of pale hair from her daughter's face.
"The couch down here folds out," she said. "We'll take turns. I may be good, but so is Stark. This place may be almost completely untraceable, but I wouldn't put it past him to manage to find it. And us." Her expression turning grave and her eyes distant, Nina nodded her understanding. Leaning in to brush a light kiss against Nina's temple, Nadine jerked her head toward the loft again when Nina focused on her again.
"There're things for you up there," she offered softly, "I'll be up in a minute."
But there was something in Nina's posture as she turned and began to head for the stairs that gave Nadine pause. A subtle tension that it took her a moment to recognize. She swallowed back a pained sigh.
"This isn't your fault, solnyshko," Nadine said gently, causing Nina to pause. Her eyes were wide and vulnerable as she looked back to Nadine. Nadine gestured absently around her Workshop. "We'd be in this position whether you'd come with Stark or not." Nadine stepped forward, closing the distance between her and Nina once more to take her face in her hands. "None of this is on you."
Her jaw tensing, Nina nevertheless nodded, some of the tightness easing from her slight frame. But she said nothing, no matter that her lips twitched and parted more than once in aborted attempts. And this time, when she turned, Nadine let her go, watching her daughter climb the stairs, unable to help a tremor of concern from quivering in her chest.
Withholding a sigh, she turned herself, making short work of returning—or finding, in the case of the odd bit of her gear that she'd acquired since taking up residence at the Compound—her things to their prescribed places around her Workshop, including meticulously tending to her weapons per long ingrained habit before returning them to their places in their custom storage unit.
It was only then that she made her own way up to the loft. Something she found herself irrationally hesitant to do. To the point where she'd nearly changed out of her uniform and even considered ducking into the small kitchenette tucked between her office and the sitting area to see to some food for her and her 'guests' in order to put it off.
Scoffing silently to herself, she shook the impulse aside. Why on earth would she be nervous about ducking upstairs to ensure Barnes and her daughter were comfortably settled?
Truthfully? She wasn't quite sure.
Though, a little, irritating voice in the back of her mind posited that it was because, as soon as they were, she would essentially be alone with Steve.
For the first time since...Dresden, at least, and she wasn't even sure that counted. Neither did London. Which meant that the last time they'd been truly alone in each other's company had been back at the Compound.
Which would mean it would be the first time alone in his company since things had shifted between them.
Her heart thrummed unevenly in her chest, and she wasn't entirely certain it was out of nerves...unless it was those of anticipation...
She shook her head again to clear the thought away as she reached the top of the stairs, forcefully ignoring the way her cheeks began to warm. They still had a job to do, she reminded herself. They couldn't linger long, no matter that she was confident that they were perfectly secure in her Workshop despite the caution she'd voiced to Nina, purely because they needed to hit the Raft sooner rather than later to give them the best shot at freeing their people.
Which meant that she and Steve needed to devote their downtime to their own recuperation and to finalizing their preparations for taking the Raft.
Nothing more.
She only spared a quick glance into her room, ensuring that Steve and Barnes were getting on alright—Steve was leaning in to peer at the remnants of Barnes' metal arm while Barnes sat on the edge of the bed stripped down to his shirt and pants, frowning at whatever low comment Barnes said in response to some question—before continuing on to Nina's room.
Where Nina sat nearly in the centre of the bed, pastel cotton-clad knees curled up to her chest where she hugged them close, her cheek pressed against the soft fabric.
"I figured you'd like those ones," Nadine said lightly as she stepped into the room. Nina tensed but didn't quite jump at Nadine's comment. It was still clear that she hadn't heard Nadine approach though, lost in her thoughts as she was. A weak smile tugged at her lips as she looked from Nadine to the pyjamas she'd changed into.
"Yeah," she agreed, a faint tremor to her voice that betrayed how heavy the thoughts Nadine had interrupted had been. "But then, I have yet to find a pair of pyjamas I haven't liked." Nadine hummed skeptically as she shifted Nina's uniform from where it had been laid across the armchair next to the bed, shooting her daughter a playfully challenging look as she took a seat. Nina scoffed, though her smile strengthened. "Okay, fine: I didn't like those weird blue and orange ones you got me when I was seven." She made a face, her nose wrinkling in remembered aversion. Nadine chuckled.
"Yes, in retrospect, those ones weren't the best. The colours were nice, though," she teased. Nina's nose scrunched up further.
"That part was okay. But they made me itch," Nina corrected peevishly even though the effect was hampered by her grin. Nadine smiled; there was some of her little sun's brightness.
Only for Nina's almost sunny expression to dim.
"I'm sorry, Mama," Nina murmured then, her hold on her legs tightening as her eyes fell back to her knees, growing bright for a different reason. "I shouldn't have—I shouldn't have reacted the way I did," she managed to force out, her voice once again wavering with misery. "I shouldn't have...I do get it." She let out a heavy sigh, but wasn't quite able to look up to Nadine. "I really do. I get why you couldn't tell me about...everything. Your past, the truth about my...my dad." Her voice nearly broke, but she pressed on, picking absently at the seam of her cotton pants even as she fought to try and verbalize what she meant with mixed success. "But it...it still...it hurt. It...I couldn't...I can't explain it. You were just trying to—I know that. But...but it just...did. A lot." She chanced a look up to Nadine then, and it took all Nadine had not to crumble at how suddenly young and uncertain Nina looked. There was nothing she wanted more than to gather Nina up and try and soothe the hurt she was trying and failing to find the words to explain. But she held herself in check.
There was no question that Nina needed to get this out.
"But I still shouldn't have...said the things I did," she continued miserably, a trace of heat making its way into her voice as she resumed her determined focus on her knees. "Not the way I said them." Nadine swallowed thickly; she hated the idea that Nina was angry with herself over this. Over anything that had happened, really.
Not that she was any happier about Nina's appearance in Leipzig, of course.
But she was no longer actually angry about it, either.
Really, it seemed her feelings over that somewhat mirrored the feelings Nina was attempting to explain over what had happened on the Quinjet.
Nina sighed heavily, sniffling against the dampness threatening to overflow from her overly vibrant eyes. "There are a lot of things I...that I should've done differently." And Nadine couldn't hold herself back anymore.
"Oh, solnyshko," she murmured, shifting from her chair onto the bed and reaching out to Nina. Sniffing again, Nina didn't resist as Nadine settled next to her, pulling her into her arms. She just nestled against Nadine's side with a quavering exhale, her cheek pillowed against Nadine's shoulder as her own arm snaked around her mom's waist. "What's done is done. This isn't just on you, Nina. None of it is. We all made mistakes; especially me. And I am sorry. There's a great deal I should've done differently too," Nadine admitted sedately. "But...I can't entirely regret the decisions I made," she said softly, drawing back slightly so she could peer down at Nina, "not since they kept you safe." Nina sniffed again, her frame tensing for a moment before she nestled closer.
"I know, Mama," she whispered against Nadine's collarbone. Nadine had to fight against the urge to crush Nina against her, settling instead for absently stroking her daughter's pale hair, inhaling the weak, lingering floral traces of Nina's favourite shampoo.
"You truly did save me, solnyshko," she said before she could help herself. "I wouldn't have lasted much longer in That Place. I hated it, though it took me far too long after I'd already run to realize it. I hated the things they made me do, that I had to do. What they made me. Eventually they would have had enough of me and they would have...cut their losses, no matter how valuable an asset they considered me. You changed everything for me, Nina. And I'll never regret that." Nina shifted in her arms, relaxing further the longer Nadine spoke—though she twitched at Nadine's allusion to her potential fate—and Nadine felt Nina's cheek move against her neck, betraying the existence of a small smile even if she couldn't see it.
"Where did you go first?" Barely able to hear the murmured question, Nadine frowned at the unexpected non sequitur. She drew back just enough to glance down at Nina's face again.
"I'm sorry?" Nina tilted her head up to meet Nadine's eye. A sleepy softness had begun to creep into her daughter's features that had Nadine inexplicably relaxing in turn.
"When you ran?" Nina clarified. "Where did you go first?" Nadine blinked. It wasn't a question she'd been expecting at all. Not tonight, at least.
But the answer was out of her mouth almost as soon as the memory began to surface in her thoughts.
"To...find my mother," she whispered. Nina stilled. "After...after I ran, I...I needed to find my parents. To find her. I was...scared," she admitted, her voice threatening to falter. "I didn't know how to be a mom—I didn't even know my own; she died before I even reached my first birthday. I still don't know how." She stared sightlessly at the subtle pattern decorating the turned-down duvet, eyes absently tracing the folds in the fabric. She let out a soft sigh. "All the stone could tell me was her name." Nina shifted again, tucking her head beneath Nadine's chin again as she fell silent.
"What was it?" Nina asked softly after a long moment. Despite herself, a small smile came to Nadine's lips.
"Sofia," she said. "Sofia Dmitrievna." She brushed a kiss against Nina's pale hair. "I almost named you after her, you know."
"I think I could've lived with that," Nina said, a small smile in her voice. Nadine laid her cheek against the crown of Nina's head.
"Me too," she agreed, only to grin, "but I'm still glad I chose Nina," she teased lightly. Nina huffed out a faint laugh. It was then that Nadine realized just how close to drifting off her daughter was. With a final kiss to Nina's forehead, Nadine carefully, if reluctantly, extricated herself from her daughter's side.
It was a testament to how exhausted Nina still was despite the rest she'd gotten on the Quinjet that she barely protested to Nadine's silent prompting to get beneath the covers.
"I can help you plan, you know," Nina offered around a yawn she tried and failed to stifle. "Mr. Stark did teach me a few tricks for getting into the kinds of secure networks the Raft is bound to have." Nadine shook her head in fond exasperation, smoothing back Nina's hair from her face; her eyes were already sliding shut.
"Get some sleep, solnyshko," Nadine said instead of declining the offer directly as she flicked off the nightstand lamp, leaving the room in darkness save for the light streaming in from the landing. "We'll need to move soon enough. Rest while you can." Nina hummed in faint frustration, but didn't object further. Satisfied, Nadine retreated, only pausing in the doorway as Nina's slurred murmur drifted out of the darkened room.
"Lyublyu tebya, mama."
Emotion once more swelled unbidden to press against her throat. "I love you too, Nina," she replied automatically. With an almost inaudible, contented sigh, Nina rolled over, her breathing already evening out. And for a long moment, Nadine did nothing but watch her daughter drift off to sleep, simply taking comfort in knowing Nina was safe and sleeping peacefully, letting it soothe the subtle clench of fear that had dogged her since Nina had appeared on the field in Leipzig—no, since the news had broken about the bombing in Vienna, when Nadine had realized everything had changed.
So much had changed since that moment.
Everything, really.
She didn't even start as a gentle, reassuring hand landed lightly on the small of her back. Even lost in thought as she'd been, she had heard his approach.
Sighing, she leaned into Steve, giving into the impulse to simply savour the quiet moment.
"Barnes?" she asked quietly. Steve drew in a deep, slow breath.
"Resting," he confirmed, matching her low tone. She'd figured as much. "Nina?" Nadine nodded in response, though he undoubtedly already knew the answer standing in her door with Nadine, as he was. Almost instinctively, she slipped her arm around his waist, letting him draw her in closer.
But then she remembered that they had work to do.
With a small smile, she pulled reluctantly away to close Nina's door. With a silent gesture, the two of them retreated from the loft.
"Where do you want to start?" he asked, voice still comparatively low as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Nadine, having already moved off toward her worktable, barely glanced back to where Steve had paused to shuck his uniform jacket and toss it over the armchair adjacent to the couch.
"I think the plan itself is solid enough," she said as she searched the table for her tablet, already mulling over avenues to try for slipping her way in to get an idea of the Raft's security protocols. "It's just prep at this point, I think; cracking their firewall, reinstating or creating security clearances for our Quinjet, things along that vein." She hummed to herself in triumph as she snatched up her tablet, having spotted it half-tucked beneath her pale grey uniform jacket where she'd deposited it on the table shortly after they'd arrived in her Workshop. She wasted no time in firing it up, sparing Steve another glance as he approached the opposite side of the table."You should get some rest yourself," she said with a small smile, her tone automatically gentling from the brisk cast it often took when she was focused on a mission as she met his eye. Warmth fluttered in her chest at the fond way he was watching her. "You're the only one who hasn't managed any since this all went south. And sitting in a pilot's seat and 'resting' while standing watch doesn't count," she added with a stern look, earning herself a huff as she cut off the counter she could sense he was preparing to offer.
After a moment where she was sure he was about object, he nodded.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right," he agreed, though not without a thread of reluctance. "Doesn't mean I like leaving you to do the work on your own, though." Nadine couldn't help herself. A wicked grin curved her lips even as she resisted looking up to him.
"You can do all the messy stuff when we take it, if that'll make you feel better," she quipped back. He barked out a soft laugh.
"Like you'll be able to resist joining in on the fun," he threw back as he retreated from the table, heading back toward the sitting area. Nadine managed to restrain her own laugh, limiting her reaction to an amused smirk as she watched him go from the corner of her eye. Satisfied that he was indeed following her suggestion, she turned her full attention back to her tablet.
She only looked up as Steve settled onto the couch with a soft groan. A concerned frown pinched at her brow.
"You're sure you're okay?" she asked softly. He looked up in mild surprise from his pose, elbows on his knees and hands rubbing tiredly over his face.
"Yeah," he said with a small smile, carding a hand absently through his hair to rub over the back of his neck as he leaned back, slowly letting himself relax. "Yeah. I'm just...tired, I guess. It's been a...long few days." His voice was quiet and heavy as he stared at the coffee table with distant, unseeing eyes, the same exhaustion—emotional as much as physical, perhaps even more so—he'd hinted at with words clearly evident to even the untrained ear. She could definitely agree with him there. Nadine set her tablet down.
Preparations could wait a little longer.
He looked up as she settled on the couch next to him. A wan grin tugged at his lips as she laid a hand on his forearm, not hesitating to cover it with one of his own.
They just sat like that for a long moment, each taking a measure of reassurance from the contact.
"I knew everything was going to change with the Accords," he murmured after a long moment, "but I never envisioned this." Nadine bit back a heavy sigh. She trailed her hand down his arm until her fingers laced with his.
"I know," she agreed softly. His grip tightened on hers. There was nothing else to say. None of them could've predicted that all this would happen. She certainly hadn't. She never would've dreamed it would come to this; that the Avengers would've fractured the way they had, that Steve of all people had gone rogue—herself, perhaps, and Nat she could've seen, but Steve?
But then, at the same time? This was the man who hadn't hesitated to take down S.H.I.E.L.D., even knowing there was a fair chance he would be condemned for it if Natasha and Fury's portion of the plan hadn't gone the way it had. He was the one who was always resolved to do what he believed was right, no matter the consequences to himself. The swell of emotion that was quickly becoming familiar even as it was welcome despite fighting it for so long began to swell in her chest as she studied him.
And before she could help herself, a fond smile was surfacing on her face.
Her careful control really was for nothing when she was alone with him, wasn't it.
"I don't think I've ever seen you this unkempt, before," she observed lightly, reaching up with her free hand to brush her fingertips across the uncharacteristic presence of light stubble on his usually diligently clean-shaven features. He chuckled in the back of his throat, running a hand along his jaw.
"There have been a few more pressing things on my mind," he retorted dryly, his eyes once more sparkling with amusement. Nadine snickered before leaning back with an assessing look.
"You know, I've never minded facial hair. Though, I'm not sure if stubble quite suits you," she said thoughtfully, fighting back a smirk at his playfully challenging look. "I think a proper beard would work much better if you're not going to stick to the clean-cut look." Unable to maintain his affected indignation, he laughed, leaning forward to leave a chaste kiss on her lips.
"I'll think about it."
A smile finally broke out on her face, and on pure impulse, she returned the kiss.
But as she leaned back, her gaze meeting his, something shifted.
At once her pulse picked up as he studied her, the air between them growing thick and warm. It was as though time slowed. And then he was leaning in again.
As his lips once again met hers, his hand was rising to cup her face, sliding back until his fingers loosed her hair tie and began tangling in the pale strands. There was nothing chaste or fleeting about this kiss. It was still comforting and it was still reverent in a way that was uniquely Steve, but it was also much more. As his mouth moved against Nadine's, coaxing and insistent all at once, the warmth in her chest that came just from being close to him slowly began to build into something far more passionate with each passing moment. Something that had her reaching for him as he was for her, one hand finding its way back to his face and the other flexing against the thin fabric of his shirt even as his free hand curled on her waist. Something that had her opening for him with a sigh, savouring the taste of him, the feel of him against her.
Something that began to course beneath her skin to pool deep in her belly.
Something that simply felt right.
It was like Dresden all over again and yet...not. It was...more. This time, there was no panicked flicker in the back of her mind. No dark, haunted memories breaking through the heat growing between them as she pressed closer.
No desperate need.
Just the two of them. And a feeling like they had all the time in the world.
A feeling that Nadine was more than happy to let wash over her as they fell back onto the couch.
Without even thinking to do it, as Steve settled above her, her arms were curling around him, one hand smoothing as far across his broad shoulders as she could manage while the other rose to card lightly through his hair. She smiled against his lips at the pleased sound that rumbled in his chest at the sensation of her nails scraping lightly across his scalp; she'd remembered that he'd seemed to like that.
Her self-satisfaction was short lived, however, as he chose that moment to break their unhurried yet consuming embrace to begin peppering hot, tantalizing kisses against the sensitive skin of her throat, lingering on a spot just below her jaw when her grip on him tightened completely involuntarily. Her eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, her lower lip catching between her teeth as she struggled to hold back a moan.
His smug smile against her neck let her know she'd been less than successful.
In retaliation, Nadine nipped at the edge of his jaw, but all that did was earn a low chuckle that vibrated against her lips as he paused in his ministrations. His grin was positively smug as he pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, earning himself a huff. Shaking her head even as a fondly exasperated grin threatened, her hand fell to fist in his shirt over his ribs as she pulled him closer again to capture his mouth with hers.
It wasn't long at all before hands began to wander in earnest, breaths growing shorter as the heat grew between them.
And something shifted again.
Nadine's breath caught as she trailed kisses of her own along his jaw, shivering as his hands skimmed down her body, drawing the zipper of her uniform with them to bare her skin to his touch.
It was only then that he paused, pulling back just enough to study her flushed features with dark, questioning eyes.
Her answer was to pull him back down.
And Steve obeyed her silent plea, his hesitation evaporating.
As his lips latched back onto the particularly sensitive spot he'd discovered beneath her jaw, his hand was sliding beneath her uniform to graze up her side. She was so lost to his touch, to the exhilarating heat his caress was bringing her skin, that even the ache of her sore ribs had faded.
And as Steve settled himself more firmly against her, encouraged by her legs parting around his, she couldn't control the soft, involuntary moan it drew from the back of her throat or how she arched into his touch. Not when her smaller frame was sheltered so perfectly beneath his larger, more solidly muscled one. Not when a fission of pleasure shivered beneath her skin from where the feel of his growing arousal was suddenly pressed hard against the centre of her own.
Before she could help herself, her hips were rocking into his, further stoking the insistent heat that had been steadily growing in the pit of her stomach.
A heat that was just begging for more.
She needed more.
She needed him.
Pulling his mouth back to hers for a brief, hungry kiss, she pushed him back. But his frown had barely enough time to form between his brows before she was pulling herself up after him to capture his lips again while her hands began sliding beneath his shirt, pushing it up his torso as she marvelled in the firm muscle flexing beneath her touch.
Swallowing thickly, he followed along with her silent directive, lifting his arms when required so she could tug the fabric out of her way. And Nadine grinned as a groan vibrated beneath her lips at the series of appreciative kisses and caresses she trailed across the magnificent torso the garment had been hiding. A groan that hitched when her fingers found the fastenings at his waist. And the desire pooling in her belly grew more insistent still.
As did the heat in his eyes as he pushed her own uniform from her shoulders.
It wasn't long before she was pushing him to sit back down on the couch and settling herself on his lap. And, one hand cupping his face and the other sliding around his broad shoulders while his fell to grip tight on her hips, she leaned in, her forehead brushing his in a gesture that felt astonishingly...intimate. Especially considering what was about to happen between them.
To be honest, she had expected some measure of awkwardness their first time after so long denying what they felt for each other; what they both wanted; after so long dancing around each other for fear that it might actually be something real. A hesitation borne out of the realization that they were on the verge of crossing a line that would irrevocably change everything between them.
Until the feeling set in that everything had already changed. That this? This was a culmination, rather than a catalyst. It was natural. Easy. Right.
And she surrendered herself to it gladly.
His head fell back as she sank onto him, his powerful body trembling beneath her. But his eyes never left hers. She sighed at the sensations flooding her body, her own lids fluttering as her mouth parted in pleasure.
She didn't stop until she was once again seated on his thighs, panting as her body adjusted to the feel of having him inside her so completely.
There was just something so...so right about finally being with him. About finally having him inside her. Full—complete, even—in a way that had little to do with the intimate way their bodies were joined.
It was so much more than a simple, base act.
Her eyes finally slid shut as he leaned forward to brush an almost tentative kiss against her lips, shifting beneath her, within her, as he did. It sent an exquisite shudder of pleasure through her entire body. And she began to move against him as she kissed him back, swallowing his breathless groan as her arms curled more securely around his shoulders. She sighed as his hands slid up her back, his arms wrapping tight around her in return as he began to move with her.
And he groaned her name as her nails scored across his shoulders.
It was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Not with Barnes or any of the men she'd used over the years to satisfy her needs.
No, with him...with him she felt...
Whole. Complete.
Home.
So she let go.
And she let herself get lost in him.
A/N: Thanks for reading!
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