[C H A P T E R N I N E]
Toleration Explanation
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BUILDING THE TENT WITH NATHAN didn't completely fix Roseline's frustration, but it did help a lot. It allowed her to take her mind off of things and laugh at the stupid jokes that Nathan would make to cheer her up. It was even more satisfying when she set all her little knick-knacks on a table she made next to her makeshift bed. Nathan thought it was odd that she had random household objects on display, but she didn't really care what he thought. She knew that each thing had its importance to the human race a hundred years ago, and she didn't want to forget that by discarding them.
"Thanks for helping me," Roseline grinned at Nathan, her hands on her hips. The boy chuckled.
"Anytime. But now I gotta go. I saw Sterling over there almost cut his finger off with the knife I gave him." He waved before jogging off to Sterling and his terrible coordination. Roseline sighed, still admiring the tent. It was a little sideways, and if she didn't secure the flap, the door would fly in the wind, revealing everything inside. Otherwise, the girl loved it. She wanted to show it off to someone, but hearing Jasper moan in pain made her realize that there were more urgent matters to attend to.
Going up to the third level, Roseline was greeted with the foul smell of sweat, dirt, and something else that she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. Monty was in the corner fiddling with broken wristbands and a control panel while Octavia had a wet rag pressed against Jasper's forehead.
"Hey," Roseline smiled through the odor. "Do you guys need any help or something?"
Octavia glanced around, checking to see what they could need. "Um, yeah. Could you get some water for Jasper? The cup is over there." She nodded her head to the shelf by Monty's head. Roseline gave a thumbs up and grabbed the cup.
"Okay, be right back!" she grinned as she descended down to the bottom level.
The tent with the water inside was quiet and empty. In the middle was a large basin that someone had filled with water from the river. The girl then wondered if the water had any remains of the monster snake. Shuttering, Roseline dipped the cup into the basin. She was about to leave when screams came from the campers outside. Roseline froze in her spot as she heard people crying out in pain.
"Get inside!" someone shouted. Roseline panicked, her thoughts going straight to Grounders. Were they attacking? Oh, God. I don't wanna die in the snake water tent.
Suddenly, a yellow fog began to seep underneath the tent, breaking Roseline's frozen trance. It reached her lungs and skin, causing her to cough violently while itching her hands. The stench of sulfur burned her nose as she struggled to catch her breath. With Jasper's water still in her hand, she dashed out of the tent only to be met with more of the burning fog. She shielded her eyes and made a break for the drop-ship where people were frantically trying to get inside.
Reaching the end of the drop-ship door, her foot missed the ledge, and the girl crashed onto the metal door. The cup rolled away into the dense fog that was coming in more thick with every passing second. She tried to get up, but a coughing fit came and she couldn't seem to find her balance.
"Son of a bitch," a male voice said. In the blink of an eye, a hand grabbed onto her jacket and pulled her to the safety of the drop-ship where everyone was fumbling to get the door closed. As the natural light died out, Roseline adjusted her watery eyes to see who had saved her. Her face fell pale as she saw the angry eyes of Murphy glaring daggers into her. Coughing some more, Roseline wobbled to her feet and made eye contact with Murphy again.
"Thanks," she mumbled, scratching at her hands which had now begun to form blisters.
He scoffed and turned away. "Yeah, whatever."
Something burned inside her chest, and Roseline was certain it had nothing to do with the acid fog. "All I'm doing is thanking you for basically saving my life, but yet you're annoyed with me?"
He was quick to turn around, the fire in his eyes matched hers. "I wouldn't have had to save you if you would have just gotten in here instead of worrying about your precious water."
"I was getting the water for Jasper," she seethed as she took a daring step closer. Murphy assessed the situation for a moment before chuckling.
"Oh, it all makes sense now." His cold eyes matched with his humorless snicker gave Roseline goosebumps, but she didn't want to show her fear. "Once again, they sent you out of the rescue party."
"What do you mean once again?" She narrowed her eyes. A crowd had slowly formed between the two, and Murphy took a few steps back, extended his arms, and took in the attention.
"You really haven't noticed? How many times have those guys, or any of these people, sent you off to do their bidding?" He gestured to the crowd that was slowly becoming larger by the second.
"Why does it matter? They needed some help and I helped them." She crossed her arms across her wildly beating heart.
"Did they really? Or were they just shooing you away for the millionth time because you can be so goddamn annoying?" The bottom level was silent as Roseline absorbed Murphy's words. "None of these people actually needed anything. They just put up with you until you leave."
Roseline was shaking from head to toe. She wanted to say that she was just frustrated or angry, but those words didn't seem to cut it. She felt pure fury as she stared into the eyes of someone she had never hated more.
"You don't seem to put up with me. All you do is go off about how annoying and talkative I am," she commented quietly, trying to keep her cool.
"Oh, believe me, what I do now is nothing. If it weren't for Bellamy, you would've stopped talking a long time ago." His voice was low and smooth. It was a deadly combination as he stared the girl down.
Roseline's mind wanted to focus on the very real threat that he had just made, but she was caught off guard with the mention of Bellamy. "What do you mean if it weren't for Bellamy? What did he say to you?"
"He told me to tolerate you and your loud ass mouth. But I swear if---"
"Tolerate?" she cut him off, and this time her voice rose. "Tolerate?"
If the room wasn't silent before, it sure as hell was now. No one could believe that Roseline had actually raised her voice at someone. Roseline had her fisted balled tightly at her sides. Near her, she saw a boy with a metal cup between his hands, similar to the one she had earlier. Before she knew what she was doing, Roseline snatched the cup from the boy's hands and chucked it at Murphy. The cup hit him in the cheek, and he reached for his face in pain. Seeing Murphy in pain ignited something deep within Roseline, and the girl found herself with a metal pole, whacking him until he was curled up on the ground.
"Tolerate me? You just tolerate me? Well, are you gonna sit there and tolerate this, huh? Are you gonna keep tolerating me, and obey Bellamy's every little order?" she shouted at him between hits. All she could see was red, and the crowd went crazy with the violence that was unfolding in front of them. They were split into people cheering for Roseline to keep going, and people yelling at Murphy to fight back.
"Screw this," they heard Murphy say over the shouting. Murphy brought his legs up and kicked Roseline's left leg, causing her to cry out and fall to the floor. Murphy crawled on top of her and threw a punch into her cheek. The crowd roared as he did it again and again. Roseline struggled underneath his weight and tears poured down her face, though they weren't tears of pain. They were tears of frustration and sadness. The boy's words were infecting her brain and making her realize that he could be right. Roseline closed her eyes. She was too tired to continue on with fighting back. Her face felt hot, and her shin ached.
In a swift motion, the weight on her stomach was lifted, and Roseline could finally breathe again. She tried to sit up or open her eyes, but both actions seemed like too much. Instead, Roseline relaxed her muscles and let herself fall out of consciousness as someone called out her name.
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Her head felt like it was pounding against her skull. Noises came from every direction, some obnoxious, and some softer. It all made her brain feel like mush. The worst noise was agonizing cries of Jasper, who was laying on a table a mere ten feet away. Roseline opened her eyes, and the pain from doing so almost made her pass out again, but she pushed through. She did, however, let out a low groan that signaled Octavia that she was awake.
"Oh my God, Rose! Hey, are you okay?" she asked, rushing over to inspect her face. Roseline winced at the sudden noise, her hand going up to rub her temple.
"I feel like I just went through a blender, and then you tried to sew me back together," she croaked, sitting up against the wall. Octavia breathed a laugh.
"Yeah, well, you look like that too." Octavia handed her a polished chunk of metal, and what she saw made her cringe. Her left cheek was swollen and pink with a small cut in the middle, and there was dried blood around her nostrils and mouth. The thing that hurt her most was that her face looked so broken and tired. She wondered what her parents would have thought of her.
"I cleaned most of it up," Octavia added with a half smile. "and the swelling was way worse yesterday."
"How long was I out?" Roseline scratched at her blistered hands and set the metal down.
"About a day," she responded sadly, dabbing Roseline's cheek with a cold cloth. "I was really worried, but Monty told me to relax before I exploded." She chuckled at the last part, and Roseline gave a weak smile in return. The memories of yesterday hit her like a meteor, and Roseline wished she had never woken up.
Octavia noticed her demeanor change and cleared her throat awkwardly. "So, uh... Miller told me what happened, and I just want you to know that none of those things were true. We do need you." She looked at the hurting girl for any sign of a comment. Seeing none, she continued on, "And if it makes you feel any better, I heard that Murphy has some really nasty bruises all along his side. Oh, and he also has a black eye."
"Yeah, that makes me feel better," Roseline murmured, gazing off into space. She then frowned seeing a pipe shoved into the handle of the hatch. "What's up with that?"
Octavia looked over and groaned in annoyance. "Murphy was being a dick."
That time, Roseline cracked a real smile. "Fair enough."
From down below, they heard someone call out, "Hey, they're back!"
Octavia jumped to her feet while Roseline slowly stood up using the wall as a crutch. "Who's back?"
"Bellamy, Clarke, and the others. They've been gone all day," Octavia hastily explained as she assisted the girl to the hatch.
The two made it outside where it was dark, much to Roseline's surprise. She didn't realize that being out for a day meant actually being out for a whole day. They stopped Clarke in her tracks as she was about to go into the drop-ship. Clarke looked at Roseline with concern, but Roseline gave her a smile to assure the doctor that everything was okay.
"It's about time," Octavia said angrily with Roseline latched to her arm. The noises outside made her headache go into overload, but she blinked it out rapidly to keep steady. "They were about to kill Jasper." Roseline's head shot up at the information. Octavia definitely did not mention that. "Do you have the medicine?"
Clarke shifted her eyes with an uneasy look. "Yeah, but... C'mon, let's go talk." She tried to lead her away from the group around Bellamy, but Ocativa was smarter than that. She left both Clarke and Roseline, much to her displeasure, and walked straight to her brother.
"Octavia, just stay there," He held up his hand with a worn out look. "Please, just stay back."
Octavia didn't listen and kept going. Bellamy took a sideways step to block the lump under a jacket. Roseline inched forward and began to realize that they didn't bring back a dead animal.
"Why?" Octavia muttered, trying to get past her brother's protective grip. Wriggling free, she bent down and removed the jacket to reveal Atom's burned and bloodied face. Gasps came from some of the criminals and Roseline covered her mouth with a similarly burned hand. Everyone watched as Octavia whispered the boy's name in horror, tears streaming down her face.
"There was nothing I could do," Bellamy tried, but Octavia put a hand up to silence him.
"Don't," she said, still gaping at Atom. With a steady hand, she carefully placed the jacket back on top of Atom's face, covering up his blisters and wounds. She stood back up and marched off, ignoring her brother's pleading. Roseline watched Murphy walk over to him with his hands in his pockets. If she looked closely, she could see his newfound small limp which gave her satisfaction.
"Lose anyone here?" Bellamy asked after observing Murphy's other new addition: his black eye. Knowing she did that made Roseline giddy as well.
"No."
"And Jasper?"
"Still breathing. Barely. I tried to take him out, but your psycho little sister---" Bellamy cut him off and shoved him against a tree with strength Roseline didn't even knew he had.
"My what? My what?" he growled with rage.
Murphy took a deep breath to calm himself. "Your little sister," he corrected.
Bellamy let him go but stayed close to his face. "Yeah, that's right. My little sister," he said coldly. "Got anything else you wanna say about her?"
"Nothing," Murphy muttered, still staring off. "Sorry."
Finally, Bellamy backed away and nodded to a boy. "Get him out of here." He motioned to Atom's body.
As everyone dispersed, Roseline stood motionless by the bright campfire. Her brain was feeling too many things at once, making it hard for her to focus on one specific emotion. She wished she could be in space with the stars again, or just be with her parents one more time. Earth was never meant to be this harsh, this cruel. It was supposed to be enlightening and beautiful, radiating hope and peace. The thoughts swirled in her head, and they came back to Murphy's words once more. I'm only tolerated. These people could care less about what I think or what I'm interested in. Those words hurt her more than the punches did. Was she really that naive? Did she really not pick up on those social queues? Watching the two boys carry away Atom, she wondered if she could ever go back home.
"Hey," Bellamy's voice appeared out of nowhere, causing her to jump.
"Hello," she responded back quietly, thinking about the thing that Murphy had said about Bellamy. She felt his body shift closer to her side, and his eyes were trained on her face. Feeling uncomfortable, she turned away. Before she could fully look away, Bellamy grabbed her shoulders and forced her to stand face to face with him; well, more face to chest due to the fact that he was taller.
"What happened?" His voice was laced with concern and his eyes wouldn't leave her wounds.
"I got in a fight," she said with little emotion. Expecting a shocked expression as others had shown, Roseline was astonished to see that he nodded with acceptance.
"With Murphy?" he guessed, his eyes flickering over to where Murphy stood with some of his goons.
"How did you know?"
"Well, for starters, you don't like him, and I noticed that he was sporting a black eye and a limp. Both were pretty sweet." He dropped his hands from her shoulders and crossed them smugly.
"Yeah, it did feel good," she spoke softly. The pair turned to the fire and were silent, listening to the indistinct chatters of other delinquents and the crackling of the glowing fire in front of them.
"Why did you tell Murphy to tolerate me?" Her voice was faint as if she was afraid of the answer.
"Because I knew that he would piss you off to this point," he replied, still looking into the flames.
"What do you mean?" She turned to look at him.
"I knew he would eventually crack you with his smartass comments and his general personality. So, I told him to be cool, and to either play nice or stay away, because you two fighting wouldn't end well," he explained with a shrug.
Roseline scoffed. "Yeah, for me."
"No, for him." he corrected with a matter-of-fact tone. Roseline gave him a doubtful expression.
"Rosie, listen, you're dangerous. I know you don't think you are, but it's true. No one here with half a brain would want to make you mad. You know why?" Roseline shook her head in response. "Good people like you keep their anger pent up, so when someone finally pushes you over the edge, you explode, and everyone is terrified to see that happening."
"So... People are only nice to me because they're scared?" she scowled. "Does that include you?"
"No," His gaze went back to the fire.
"Well, then why are you nice to me?"
He hesitated for a moment then shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not a total asshole."
Roseline smiled at his answer, and the homesickness in her heart didn't feel as strong as it did before.
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A/N: this is the longest chapter i've written, and i'm vv proud of it!! the scenes may be sad and intense, but i hope you guys still enjoyed it!! also thank you guys so much for 700 reads!!! that is so cool and i love it when you guys comment/vote on my chapters!!
side note: sorry about the slower updates, life has been a little more crazy than usual. hope you guys understand!
anyways happy reading!!
-kate