a/n: above is a quanos edit i made for fun :)
//
It was kind of well-known that gaming/commentary YouTubers didn't have any lives. Pretty self-explanatory, you thought, what with typical introverted traits and the extreme time commitment creating content required. When you weren't filming, editing, chatting, or just surfing the web (which counted as work... technically), there was little time left for social interaction, much less hitting up clubs or going out on dates like normal people your age.
Brightside: you had made quite a few close internet friends that you were almost always communicating with in some manner.
Not-so-brightside: your friend group, although preferring to be homebodies, still loved to hang out often-- which ended up resulting in a tangible event, otherwise known as Friday Night Joshin. Everyone took Friday night off, cleared a space free from editing and streaming, and voted on which game to play that night. The results usually ended up being Assassin's Creed, Overwatch, or Among Us. Henry often petitioned to play Fortnite so that he could show off his "wicked skills," but, while you and your friends' standards were wack, they weren't that wack.
Hanging out with your friends in multiplayer games every Friday night was refreshing; it gave you something to look forward to each week. Even though you were all constantly in touch with one another, a few hours of designated peace and games trumped any other activities you did together. Although you were unsure when it all first started, you had begun to look forward to each Friday Night Joshin session-- up until a certain someone joined the group.
Ever since Alex became a regular part of your friend group, the game votes had steadily shifted from entertaining, mostly-serious games to abominations like Toontown and Club Penguin. Granted, you were quite familiar with them and didn't dislike the games themselves, but you rapidly grew irritated with the childish influence he had garnered. It had been weeks since you'd played a typical game with the group-- even Fortnite would be tolerated at this point. You'd already heard rumors from Aksel that they were wanting to play Habbo Hotel today, and you knew that if you had to hear Alex rant about his hacked furni one more time, you'd become completely ballistic.
//
group chat: whatsup fuckers🦀🦀🦀
bluesdank: hit the dab👊
hit the yeet✊
beat🤜 my meat🥩
go to sleep🙏
dream dream💤 dream dream dream dream💤
wildspartanz: What the fuck 🅱️enry
tHIS IS WHY MOM DOESNT FUCKING LOVE YOU
bluesdank: s'not what she said last night
fpsdiesel: henry
have u heard of the atlantic ocean between u two
kingani: don't encourage him!
N/Nbee: diesel
have u heard of planes, boats, and electronic communication
wildspartanz: This is mo bamba vs sicko mode all over again
itshooverr:
aksually: there are 2 kinds of white people
fpsdiesel: -_-
quackityhq: mo bambians and sicko modians🤩
kingani: 3: hit or miss
bluesdank: i gUesS tHeY NeVer MiSS huH
wildspartanz: If I hear one more tiktok reference, I'm quitting
bluesdank: so😓
why😤
do😥
good😱
girls👩
like😪
kingani: i'm going to stop you right there lololol
we need to vote on tonight's game
aksually: tetris is popping guys
and its only 40 euros🤜
quackityhq: isnt that like
400 usd
or thats pounds??
bluesdank: wHiCh lEfT
quackityhq: shut up cabrón
kwite: i vote for anything that isn't fortnite
aksually: what if🤤 tetris is the new 🅱️ortnite
itshooverr: burn it
N/Nbee: bury the ashes
kingani: i propose cards against humanity
we haven't played that in a while
quackityhq: yea thats for a reason lmao
🤠
bluesdank: its NOT my fault i kept getting necrophilia cards!
wildspartanz: sus
aksually: sus
quackityhq: sus
kingani: rainbow siege is another option🌈
kwite: thats gay
wildspartanz: TWINK
kwite: damn u got me good
fpsdiesel: VRchat?
wildspartanz: When did we go from funny to cringe
kingani: oooh yes vr
quackityhq: fuck yeah dude
loli avatars🤤🤤
N/Nbee: fucking perv
quackityhq: no u
N/Nbee: NO U
quackityhq: NO U
N/Nbee: PEDO
quackityhq: NO
aksually: alright gamers, now this is epic
kingani: 😕y/n please
you promised me no fighting
at least tonight??
aksually: JOSHIN
kwite: 🤷♀️
N/Nbee: uhhh fingers crossed
quackityhq: double crossed
itshooverr: aight
wildspartanz: Let's just get goingMeet in my vc
bluesdank: 🦈🦈🦈
kingani: henry we are NOT going to the vrchat aquarium again‼️
those hammerheads were way too realistic
i mean it
//
Two heated competitions of who-has-the-best-meme-avatar, one incident of a slushie spilled on a keyboard, and forty minutes later, you were all at the aquarium. Ani had groaned and left the room to 'brew tea', and Henry was busy attempting to direct a shark to be positioned right in front of her for her return. Aksel was doing who-knows-what with the catfish, Brandon and Kwite were re-enacting The Little Mermaid, Kappa, Hoover, and Diesel were trying to glitch into the stingray tank, and you and Alex were searching for Nemo.
It was a futile quest; the fishes all shared the same base with a few distinct variations, and no clownfish was more probable to look like Nemo than any other one, but... Alex was being considerably less bothersome than usual while 'hunting for his son' so you let him explore without bickering. He was also quite happy, laughing even more than normal (which you didn't think was possible)-- but that wasn't really important. As long as he wasn't screaming absolute, incomprehensible nonsense into his broken mic, you were ecstatic.
"Y/N! Holy shit, Y/N, I think I found Dory! Come here!" His VR avatar motioned for you to walk closer to him.
"We're still viewing the clownfish tank..."
"No. No, I swear, Dory was just here, fuck-- Dory! Dory, come back, follow the sound of my voice! Shit, she probably doesn't remember how to do that."
"I thought I was Dory in this scenario, idiot," you scoffed and used the t-posing emote.
Alex paused and faced his avatar to stare at you for a couple of moments before bursting into laughter.
"What the fuck? Eres tan tonta, why would you be Dory?" He managed to say between fits of laughter and intense mouse-clicking (because he was still trying to find Nemo, of course).
"You're Nemo's dad, right? So, then, I'm supposed to be Dory because... that's how the movie goes? I don't know, hijo!"
"Hijo? Hijo like th-- what the fuck, Y/N, oh my god, that's not a curse word. You have to use the rest of the phrase, or else you're just-- you're just calling me-- you--" He broke out into incessant, almost quack-like chuckles.
"Fuck you, that's the only thing you've taught me."
"Oh, really?" He taunted, spam-crouching.
"Uh— yeah. Sí. All I know is 'yes' and one curse word, so— really, you fucking duck, this is all on you."
"How is that my fault?" He screamed. You quickly shushed him, not wanting to disturb the others again (the first two times had been funny, but now... if you got into a yelling match again, they'd probably get annoyed).
You took a deep breath in, but it didn't help the escalating pressure tugging at your heart.
"I don't know-- It is! You told me you'd teach me! Just do something useful like-- like teaching me how to fight you in Spanish! Give me an even playing field-- at least in terms of language, because I obviously have the intellectual advantage."
"Hey!" Ani called, her voice distant from across the VR room, and you pointedly ignored her. It was true, anyway, though it wasn't really a compliment towards yourself; most people on the planet had a higher intellect than Alex.
"To fight me?"
"What else would I want to learn, pretty boy?" You taunted, edging bitterly sweet turpitude into your tone.
"I-- you--" he stuttered, his avatar freezing completely for a few seconds, "Yeah, I mean... Let me just-- Ay, fuck, fine, okay? I'll teach you the-- uh, the harsher side of Spanish. I accept...?"
"Are you seriously accepting after offering and insisting to be my tutor?"
"Your tutor-- Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry. I meant that this is epic," he rectified, finally regaining his usual aura of confidence, "Very epic, gamers, can we get an F in chat?"
"F," Aksel immediately replied, voice faint and distanced from you two. He must've been listening in-- for whatever reason, you felt a bit wronged. Alex carried on, perfectly unperturbed as per usual.
"So, hermosa, where should we begin?"
You groaned and looked up at your ceiling for a moment, realizing fully what you'd fated as your future. Previously, you'd been only a little hesitant to learn Spanish, still fueled by your educational motivation-- but now you'd actually agreed to a specific plan. You couldn't get away with learning the most simplistic basics before backing away and turning to an online program; you were stuck in the deep end with Alex... and ducks couldn't hold their breath underwater forever.
//
translations:
~ ~ ~
cabrón: dumbass/male goat (offensive)
mucho ruido y pocas nueces: much ado about nothing
eres tan tonta: you're so dumb
hijo: son
hijo de puta: son of a bitch
hermosa: beautiful