"Sometimes we aren't meant to get over someone, and we go on living a little bit emptier."
- Leo Christopher
Febuary 12th, 2014
I WAKE UP MONDAY MORNING with major regret, a headache, and a descent amount of anxiety as well.
I hadn't talked to Aiden since the party on Saturday. Not that I really wanted to anyways...
After our little "moment" had ended, Aiden quickly stumbled out of the bathroom- tripping drunkenly through the hallway and refusing to look back.
Sloppy.
That was all I could think.
Although that kiss was anything but...
I ended the night by asking Noah to give me a ride home, before I could do something even more stupid. And the ride was quiet, too quiet.
Noah drove Hannah, Georgia, and I home but Carter and Aiden had found their own rides. I couldn't help but to think if one of them, (if not both) had brought a girl home with them.
Yet, I pushed those thoughts away from my mind and thought of anything but.
My kiss with Aiden was a mistake. No doubt about it. Although, I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say that I was wondering about what Aiden thought of it...
Or if he even remembered it.
Of course he didn't, Aiden was a fuck boy. He didn't get flustered over things like this. To him
I was just another girl to add to his checklist.
I groan as I slowly slip myself out of bed. I practically scream as my bare back meets the cold air of my bedroom, sending shivers up my spine.
All I want to do is to lay back down, forget all my problems, and watch the last three Harry Potter movies. Yet, this is not possible. As it's not exactly acceptable to miss school for being nervous to see the guy you just made out with.
I was pathetic.
Why couldn't I be more like Aiden? Couldn't I be casual? It was a kiss. That's all. People do it all the time.
But it was my first.
Out of all people I choose for my first kiss, did it have to be Aiden? In Nick McAllister's bathroom, for that matter?
When I was in middle school I imagined the perfect date, the perfect guy, and the classic romantic, sweet kiss goodnight.
Poor twelve year old Kennedy, I just crushed her childhood dream.
I make my way to my closet, pulling on leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. Paring it with a baseball hat for extra measures. I would do whatever it took not to get noticed today.
I cross my room to my full size mirror, pulling my sweatshirt tighter to my shoulders as I do.
Okay, so I look frumpy.
That's fine. I could do frumpy. Lazy is the new stylish- right?
I shake my head and slip on my old vans, grabbing my backpack as I bound downstairs.
"Morning," I say in a croaky, sleep ridden voice. I give my mom a frown, silently communicating that this was indeed "not a good morning" specifically.
"Someone looks excited for school," my mom says with a smile and sarcastic voice.
"Oh yeah," I say with the same sarcasm, "it'll be the best day ever."
My mom gives me a knowing smile, "you just do you, baby," she comes to my side and gives me a kiss on my cheek, "you at least try to have a good day."
I laugh, "hmm, I guess I'll try."
"I'll see you later honey," she says as she grabs her purse from the barstool, and her blessed coffee from the counter.
"Have a good day at work," I say, "love you."
"Love you too," she blows me a quick kiss, "Georgia's outside," she adds as she opens the door to the garage and heads to her car.
With that, I grab a banana and my backpack and make my way out of the front door to Georgia's car.
I hop down the steps leading to my driveway as I swiftly try to avoid the light sprinkle of rain.
"Finally! Jeez how many times do I have to text you that I'm outside?" Georgia says as she raises her eyebrows. She looks beautiful today, as always.
Now I really looked bad.
"Sorry, sorry," I groan, "not a good morning," I slip into the passenger seat of Georgia's Range Rover and immediately crank up the heat.
That's another thing about Georgia. Her family's rich- like really rich. Georgia got her license two months ago, and her parents got her a white Range Rover for her first car. Her. First. Freaking. Car.
"What's going on?" Georgia turns to give me a strange look as she pulls out of my driveway.
I didn't tell her about the kiss, even thought I wanted to.
But what would she think? She's friends with Aiden too, and Georgia's not exactly good at acting natural or keeping secrets.
"It's a long, drawn out story that I'm not in the mood to get into yet," I say with a sigh.
I can see Georgia roll her eyes from my peripheral vision.
"You've been acting weird ever since the party, did something happen that you're not telling me about?" She looks hurt for a split second, and I feel the guilt.
We tell each other everything. Absolutely everything. And here I was, no longer a kissing virgin, and I hadn't said a peep.
Some kind of best friend I was.
"We can talk about it later, but for now I'm a little preoccupied with this banana. You know what they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" I'm rambling, I'm suspicious... and I'm an idiot.
"Whatever you say, Kends," she says with a knowing look.
"Just focus on the road," I reply.
***
As we pull up to the parking lot, the rain continues to pour increasingly harder down the window-sill.
Georgia puts her monster of a car in park, as I attempt to study my surroundings outside of my rain streaked window. Unfortunately, large droplets of water block my view from the world outside. Making me become increasingly more nervous, as I had no idea what was awaiting me outside of this car.
"You ready?" Georgia's sweet voice interrupts my thoughts as I turn to look at the petite blonde.
"Too cold," I say, although I know it's an excuse for my procrastination.
"I swear that I had an umbrella somewhere in this car..." Georgia replies with a shake of her head and a confused look.
But I'm not paying attention to her, I'm still staring out the window. Keeping my eyes peeled for a certain brunette boy.
"-And that's why my mom said that I should never keep that big of an umbrella in my car... Kennedy? Are you even listening?" I'm once again snapped back to reality by Georgia's words and left feeling guilty for my wandering thoughts.
"Yeah, yeah- big umbrella, monster car. Nice. We better go if we want to make it to class on time," I say strategically with a chuckle, hoping that Georgia didn't notice any of my slight slip ups.
"I hope my mascara doesn't run!" Georgia says as she shields her long eyelashes and frowns. She takes a short breath, opens the door, and bounds outside.
I laugh at my friend's worries and take a deep breath, like Georgia, readying myself- just in case I got struck my lightning.
Maybe that'd be a blessing at this moment...
I grab the door and run for my life.
I hear splashes from the puddles forming behind me, as thunder booms from above and lightning follows. I would've enjoyed the moment, possibly about how beautifully chaotic it was; or how ironic it was that the weather symbolized my exact emotions. Although I was a bit busy sprinting through the lot and trying not to get run over. To my surprise Georgia had already gotten inside. I guess the girl could run fast when her makeup was threatened.
I sling my backpack on my other shoulder as I quickly run up the steps to my school's front doors; I am immediately met with the warm air conditioning and dry air as I pull open the heavy door. Georgia's waiting to my right, leaning against a locker.
"Took you long enough, and I thought you were the athletic one out of the two of us," she says with a snort and a flip of her wet hair.
"Yeah well I was trying to be safe, you know check my surroundings," I shoot back as we both start to walk to first period classes.
"I don't think that you're supposed to care about your surroundings when you're about to get struck by lightning," she gives me her signature look; one raised eyebrow and a slight smirk on her glossed lips.
"I feel so attacked today," I say with a laugh.
"I'm your best friend, that's how you're supposed to feel!" She rationalizes.
Before I can reply I hear a shout from behind us.
"Yo! Wait up!" It's a strong, deep, familiar voice. A voice in which I was not looking forward to hearing until much later in the day.
Even though my logic tells me to keep walking and ignore the boy, Georgia stops in her tracks and turns- dragging me with her.
"Clark!" She yells, "where have you been? Kennedy and were forced to walk through the rain! I expect you to be the gentleman here!" She pushes his shoulder with a huff as Aiden reaches us. His eyes flicker to me when Georgia mentions me, and I swear that my breath was almost taken away.
"A gentleman?" He questions, "what do you expect me to do?"
He's smirking again. And looking at me, expecting me to reply. Little did he know I had no words. Because he had no recognition in his eyes, no flashes of regret across his face, no blush on his cheeks.
He raises his eyebrows as I continue to stare straight at him. Obviously wondering if I was some kind of mental patient at the moment. He brings his fingers to my face, and it seems like it's in slow motion.
And suddenly I'm back to that bathroom with the claustrophobic walls and pointy counter. And Aiden's kissing me, he's wrapping his arms around my waist and he's holding me tight to his body like I'd leave at any second.
"Knock, knock."
Reality is evil.
Aiden's gently knocking his knuckles against my forehead and looking dead straight into my eyes, as I continue to space out into his.
"Anybody home?"
All I can think is that those fingers were on me a day ago. On me.
"She's been like this all morning," I hear Georgia whisper.
I see Aiden turn his head as his lips part, he's about to say something before I interrupt him. "I'm messing with all of you!" I say as I force out an unconvincing laugh.
Aiden turns back to me, giving me the most skeptical look I've ever received. Georgia has an equally confused look in her eyes and she gives me a once over- probably wondering if I'd taken any mysterious drugs last night.
I casually chuckle once again, to add extra measure to my performance, "I'm fine guys, really. But I do need to get to first period or Mrs. Caldwell is going to seriously kill me," I finish with a sigh.
Aiden darts his eyes to Georgia, silently asking her if I was PMSing or something.
But I couldn't care less at this moment, because as I wave a quick goodbye to the two and start to walk away, I look back to Aiden. And there's absolutely nothing lacing his features.
And that's when I know.
He didn't remember.