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This chapter was originally just filler because I was away on holiday and couldn't watch any Death Note to continue the story.
I considered leaving it out of the rewrite, but after reading it over I concluded it's just too funny.
Enjoy!
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Today we return the 'no' tape to Sakura TV.
Obliviously, we would never dream of complying with Kira's FILTHY ideology and fake news - I mean justice.
Naomi and I are going out for lunch later on.
I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am to be getting out of this hotel/prison.
Near is in the corner of the room behind a few Mount Everest's of paperwork.
I try to get him to stop with his origami obsession but it's too late.
Before even have the chance to chuck him at a wall, every document has been carefully crafted into an artistic masterpiece of crisp folds and smooth paper.
SO SMOOTH.
His work is beautiful, but that certainly does nothing to prevent L's rage at the little snowflake for messing up his files.
The files aren't important, they're only there in the story to make the room look more realistic so I don't really care.
"You know, I was just starting to find the prospect of working with children bearable..." L grumbles from behind a pile of origami chickens.
I stifle a squeal of laughter, thinking over the whole ordeal as I busy myself unfolding the countless documents from their 'chicken form'.
"I'm just glad to have something to do!" I hum cheerfully, hands working their magic on the crumpled paper.
I set each sheet down on the table and smooth them out with the palm of my hands until L is satisfied with my handy work.
This is tiring...
Maybe I'm not so glad that Near made all these origami chickens, but really it's kinda L's fault for not giving us anything to do.
I sneakily stuff one into my pocket to remind me of this day when I'm old like Watari.
...
Sorry, Watari.
"Hey, First!" comes a casually cheerful voice from the door. "You ready to go?" Naomi asks, unable to not to glue her eyes to the origami chickens.
"Do you like the origami chickens?" I ask my friend, gesturing for her to come over and have a look.
Naomi strides across the room until she reaches the pile of origami chickens. "Was it Nathan?" she immediately guesses.
L looks up at her glumly from his current origami chicken. "You guessed it!"
Both Naomi and I bust out laughing.
I give L a smol hug and wish him luck with unfolding all the files before we abort the 'unfold all the origami chickens' mission and leave the hotel.
Once free of the task force headquarters that is actually just a hotel room we find a small cafe that makes good water.
The water is delicious, as always, and so is my sandwich.
(Favourite sandwich moment)
After the wonderful sandwich, we somehow find ourselves on the topic of the guys in the task force.
"Matsuda is an idiot," I say simply, but to my surprise and puzzlement, Naomi disagrees.
"He's just..."
"An... idiot?"
She frowns slightly, picking up the marvellous water before yet again contradicting my belief of Matsuda's stupidity. "I think he's really sweet and funny."
I mean, sure, but this is Matsuda we're talking about.
He's the definition of an idiot.
But he is hilarious.
NOT AS MUCH AS ME THOUGH!
"Yeah, you're right," I agree.
Naomi nods happily. "So, how are things with L?" she asks. "Things got pretty sticky last night with that broadcast... didn't they?"
"Yeah," I frown. "I think L's worried about my safety..."
Naomi gives me a look.
"What?"
"You're surprised?" she mocks, "You're unpredictable, a hazard to all sane things, extremely dangerous and unbelievably dismissive of anything moderately serious."
I cry.
Naomi chuckles and says she was only joking really, although it all basically summed me up. "You're funny though, Freya, and I do feel good when I'm with you."
Woohoo!
"But... are you dating yet?" she presses, narrowing her eyes in interest of my personal GOSSIP.
"Yeah... he sort... said we were a 'thing' when Light asked about us..."
Naomi gasps. "That sneaky little..."
"Prune."
She laughs.
"I do love him though..." I admit with a dReAmY sigh.
"Tell him then!" Naomi urges.
WhAt?
I turn bright red. "No! I can't do that!"
"Awww... why not? You two are made for one another," she says honestly.
I turn an impossibly deeper shade of red. "Um... thanks, I'm glad you think so."
Eventually, we leave the cafe and wander around for a bit.
"So, where do you wanna go?" I yell over the horrible traffic and street noises.
Naomi shrugs and glances around at the array of shops and random places in the street.
I decide to buy a box of cakes for L, and Naomi just follows me around because she has nothing she wants to buy.
"You know, it's never dull when I'm with you Freya," Naomi says suddenly. "You have this bubble of joy and good humour that follows you everywhere."
I shrug as we exit the smol cake shop. "You make me feel peaceful Naomi," I tell her. "Not that that's a bad thing... it's a relief to spend time with you," I add.
We headed back to the hotel by bus.
Fortunately, it doesn't get hijacked or anything, so we return safely to the hotel.
"HEY, L I GOT YOU SMOL CAKES!" I yell, bursting through the door.
Naomi follows after me, placing her shoes neatly on the floor as mine fly around the room like missiles.
"Hey! You threw a shoe at me!" Mello scrEams, rubbing his bruised forehead.
I jump on the couch and fling my jacket in his abused face. "Where's L?" I ask loudly. "He has to take my gift of appreciation!" I cry, flopping off the couch and racing all around the hotel room in search of the fabulous detective.
Soon I discover him after landing in a pile of origami chickens.
"YOU'RE STILL UNFOLDING THE ORIGAMI CHICKENS?" I dig L out of the massive pile.
He stares at me, completely depressed. "Somehow, I found them comfortable..." he mutters.
"I bought you cakes!" I say happily, pulling him up off the heap of crumpled origami chickens.
L's face lights up and his eyes sparkle in delight. "I need them now, I've gone for more than three hours and twenty-one minutes without cake!" L tells me hysterically, and then literally drAgs me by my beautiful hair into the living room where I left the box.
"So... is three hours and twenty-one minutes like the limit of how long you can go without sugar?" I question as he rips the little white box to shreds like an animal.
"Mmm... yes, I get serious cravings otherwise," L replies simply over a mouthful of chocolate cake.
I nod and watch him in awe as he carefully selects each cake, examines it, then pops the whole thing in his mouth without wasting a crumb.
HOW DOESN'T IT GET ALL OVER HIS FACE?
This is so unfair; Lola plus cakes equal death and destruction, SO HOW COME HE CAN EAT THEM SO PERFECTLY!?
"Teach me how to eat cakes like you L!" I wail, slamming my fists onto the table with a crash.
He glances at me from behind his current cake. "I don't think you have what it takes, Freya," he breaks the devastating news in monotone, before stuffing another whole cake into his eyes.
(For some reason, eyes came up as a word suggestion, and I just went with it.)
(WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T PUT CAKE IN YOUR EYES!?)
(Hhehehhe me trYing to rewrite this but thinking nO)
Sorry about the author, she's highly unaccustomed to the specifics of cake eating.
"Why?!" I whine, letting my face flop onto the HARD table.
Ouch.
Why did I just bash my face into a table?
...
"Cake eating requires patience and strength of mind!" L explains passionately, a warm glow surrounding his features. "You must be able to eat it and be completely satisfied by all of the different flavours..."
Right.
I usually just stuff cakes in my eyes and hope for the best.
I'll never understand the bond L shares with the cakes...
"I'M HOPELESS!" I cry, wiping the tears that stream down my face.
L glances at me quizzically. "I shall teach you the ways of the force, young one," he says plainly, clearly unaware of his mix up.
L IS A JEDI?!
WHAAAAAT?
Wow, that's so cool, L would make the best Jedi and totally sliCe Kylo Ren's FACE off with a cake fork.
Heheh.
"SURE!" I say happily, jumping up from my seat at the table. "But first I have to check up on... umm..."
And in that moment, I realise...
I have absolutely nothing to do.
"Nothing..." I finish sadly, slumping back down into my chair.
Boredom takes over my afternoon, sending me into a frenzy of origami chicken unfolding and organising a spoon search for all of L's missing spoons.
Fortunately, we find all the spoons and finish unfolding the origami chickens before dinner time.
"FREYA!" Comes an angry shout from somewhere over there through that wall and behind the plant pot.
"WHAAAAAAAT?" I yell back from somewhere over here behind that wall and in front of the plant pot.
"I'm missing a file."
About that...
Here is a story by Mwua's friend Ruregg about what happened to the file:
Now you see you can rip a piece of paper into many different pieces but I prefer to lay it in boiling hot water and engulf it with deep black ink. As the ink creeps through the paper I make the first cut... I slice one of the corners and throw it into the flame. Then I move onto the second corner and slowly I inhale it. With the third, I walk across the room and place it in a shredder. I watch as it slowly falls into the blades and turns into tiny little pieces. Finally the fourth corner I stick it into my electric box and watch as it turns to ash. I pull out my AK47 and pull down on the trigger shooting the remaining bit of the paper and then the bit that survived that I use my lightsaber to dispose of. I walk out of the room very proud of myself.
Credit to Ruregg for the story of the missing file.
"What file?" I yell back.
"The one that took us two days to write up about all the tapes!" L cries in despair.
Oh...
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I don't know why this chapter exists.
It's like... only 40% relevant.
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- Mwua