"If I'm gone when you wake up...please don't cry. And if I'm gone when you wake up, it's not goodbye...Remember me...remember me, because I'll be with you in your dreams"
Danny Worsnop was the love of my life. Had been for as long as I can remember. He was my partner in crime, my best friend, my terror twin, my other half....my better half. The one person I thought would never leave me. Who would always be there. Through each step I took through this adventure we call life. He would be the one who would be holding my hand as I slipped from this world. He'd be the last thing I saw before I took my final breath on earth.
But, things don't always work out the way we think they will. I learned that the hard way.
Have you ever saw a person after they've passed? Sure, I know most of us have been to funerals and saw our friends or loved ones lying in the casket at the funeral home or church. I mean have you ever really saw someone? Have you been lying next to the person the entire night, not knowing they'd passed?
I have.
Have you ever had to try and revive said person for over an hour with no luck? Have you hit and pounded on their chest, begging for them to breath? Begging for them to open their eyes?
I have.
Have you ever had to call your friends, your brothers and tell them someone they all love has passed away?
I have.
Have you ever had to make arrangements to bury the person you love most in the entire world?
I have.
Have you ever had to announce to millions of fans that the band they've come to love and respect not only as musicians, but as people have suffered a loss? A loss so great they can't continue with the band?
I have.
I've had to do all of this. I had to watch the funeral home come and put my husband on a stretcher, put a white sheet over his body and roll him out the door.
I've had to stand back helplessly and watch as they put him in the back of the hearse and drive away.
I've had to go back to the house that I shared with my husband for 4 years alone.
I've had to sleep in the bed that we once shared together...alone.
I've had to go out to the cemetery just when I wanted to talk to my husband. When I wanted to share something with him.
I've had to sit on the ground in the middle of the night, the cold air hitting me like a ton of bricks because I needed to be near my husband.
I guess you want to know what all this is about, huh? You want me to tell you the story leading up to where I am now? Well, I guess I can do that.
Be prepared though, it ain't pretty.