I look at myself in the mirror. My reflection is unrecognisable. This isn't Viola, this is definitely not me. The plump girl in front of me has a nasty, messy brown nest for hair and two small black buttons for eyes with huge dark circles surrounding them. Her skin is as pale as that of a vampire and for a second I expect the two sharp teeth to make their appearance but when they don't, I feel kind of relieved. The girl - for I refuse to accept the fact that this ghost is me - smiles slightly but as soon as her yellow teeth come into view, she closes her mouth instantly. Holy crap. I have a lot of work to do.
Having brushed my teeth and washed my face I head out of the bathroom, to my parents' bedroom. My dad must have already left to work and that leaves my mum and the huge, warm, comfy bed alone.
"Mum!" I shout knowing that she's not asleep, that woman wakes up at five in the morning every day.
"No." She grumbles and then she turns over, her arm knocking the pink pillow off of the bed.
"Mum, I'm sick."
"Go to school, Viola."
"Look at me, mum."
"Get ready or else you'll be late."
"But, mother..."
"Go away, you're not my child."
I smile at her even though she can't see me, her head is tucked under my dad's pillow and she is so still that someone could think she's a dead body.
Back in my bedroom I decide to wear some comfortable clothes, then proceed to eat my breakfast quickly and without even glancing at the grand mirror in the living room - I am afraid of cracking the poor mirror with my unattractiveness today - I head out of our flat.
~
"Miss Snow is absent today." Ann's face is lighted up like a Christmas tree.
"What?" I blink.
"Only four hours in this awful building. I think I can put up with it."
"Ann, our school is that not awful."
"Yes, it is."
"What happened to Miss Snow?"
"Her son was involved in a car accident or so I heard."
"What? Is her son okay? We should ask the headmaster-"
"Viola, it's none of our bussiness."
"But what if-"
"Your face looks extremely white."
"I know."
"You remind me of-"
"Casper the Friendly Ghost?"
"I was going to say Christopher Lee as Dracula."
"I will do my very best to take that as a compliment."
Just when she's about to answer Mr. Gehal enters.
"You annoying adolescents, take your seats!" How polite of him. "As you probably already know, Miss Snow is absent today. I am aware of your joy at the moment but frankly, I don't care. Open your History books."
"Whoa, sir." Leo stands up. "I thought we would not have lessons for the first two periods."
"Wrong." Mr. Gehal opens his glasses' case.
"That means we'll finish two hours earlier, right?"
"Page fifty-two."
"Right?" Leo, whose desk is next to mine, turns to look at me and I nod positively but Mr. Gehal's patience has wore thin - not that he has a lot of it anyway.
"Leo, why don't you stand up and tell us the effects of the Industrial Revolution?"
"Fuck." murmurs the blond boy and I assume he's mentally praying and wishing he could disappear off the face of the earth. I would do the same if I were in his place.
~
"Come on, Mr. Kerabs! I really need to pee."
"Dalton, this is your last chance."
"Sir, I need to go."
"Come on, Mr. Kerabs! Don't you ever take a piss?" Jason joins.
"You won't go anywhere, Roman. Please be quiet."
"My bladder is going to burst!"
"Roman Dalton!"
"I need to get out of here now. Please, sir."
"Mr. Kerabs, let him go." Jason argues.
Our teacher seems to be in dispair as he closes his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath, then reopens them exhaling. "Jason," his voice much softer, "can you please take the empty seat next to Viola?"
"What?" Roman asks.
"I can't work with you two seating next to each other.One is going to take the empty seat next to Viola."
"Sir, with all due respect, me sitting next to Viola won't make Roman stop needing to pee." I giggle lowly at Jason's arguement.
"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Our teacher shouts. "I know very well that Dalton here wants to leave the classroom in order to go to the theatre and smoke."
"You don't say!" Michael gasps in a fake way but Mr. Kerabs ignores him. I admire that man a lot, he must deal with these immature guys daily, yet he is patient enough to teach them mathematics even though he knows he could very easily get them expelled. He is truly a saint.
"Fine!" Roman exclaims. "I'm very sorry to disturb you, Mr. Kerabs. I understand that I went too far but I will make it up to you. I am going to sit next to Viola so that you won't have to put up with the pair of us" He nudges Jason's side and he laughs. I, on the other hand, have no words, this has escalated too quickly for my liking and judging by our teacher's face, he and I share the same feeling right now.
Roman, however, takes no notice of our teacher's shocked expression as he grabs his bag and books and makes his way towards me. Before I can protest, he picks up my bag then gently drops it on the floor next to my chair and takes his seat. Without turning to look at me he grabs my pen, opens his notebook and begins doodling. Mr. Kerabs looks very astonished but says no more probably thinking that it's his lucky day today. I mean, Roman Dalton is not one to usually follow orders, let alone take the initiative to do something obediently.
After a few more silent seconds, everything finally turns back to normal with Mr. Kerabs writing equations on the black board, with most of my classmates gossiping behind his back and with a few kids pretending to be taking notes. This is as close to normal as this class can get. But frankly, I am glad there's no longer that awkward silence in the classroom because for a moment I feared everyone could hear my heart's loud beat as Roman was approaching me. Although, I wouldn't mind them - or him - knowing how incredibly and dangerously fast my heart was racing when he sat down next to me because I have nothing to hide. I'm not affected, just nervous and surprised by his sudden action is all. In fact, I am pretty sure he can see my hands slightly shaking at the moment but I don't care. I don't. My god, is my handwriting awful now. Hands! Stop shaking.
Suddenly, Roman tears a page from his notebook then passes it on to me. Oh no. Are we really going to do this? No, Viola. You're not in primary school now. That's right, I am a big girl now. I am only going to see what he has written and then tell him I need to focus on what Mr. Kerabs is saying.
R: Hey!
Where's my pencil? Where is it? Ah, there.
V: Hi.
R: I am sitting next to u again!
V: I am aware.
R: Stephan was mad at me
V: Do not call Mr. Kerabs by his first name.
R: why?
V: It isn't a polite thing to do.
R: okay, ma'am
V: I don't blame him, you tend to make him mad very often.
R: I tend to do that to a lot of people
V: Believe me when I say I have no doubts about that.
R: hahahaha
V: Would you really go to the theatre instead of going to the toilets?
R: why are u asking?
V: Curiosity.
R: what if I told u that I was trying to make Stephan mad so that he'd make me change seats?
V: Why would you do that? Besides, he told Jason to change seats...
R: cause I wanted to sit next to u. Jason knows better than to dare to take my place
V: I don't believe you.
R: Fair enough. The truth is ... I really wanted to pee
V: I still don't believe you.
R: FINE. I would go to the theatre, happy now?
V: Smoking is harmful.
R: OH MY GOD! REALLY?!?!
V: It can make you suffer.
R: tell me more, please
V: It's addictive.
R: wow
V: Smoking raises the risk of heart disease and stroke, damages your lungs, affects your reproductive health, ruins your life daily.
R: *yawn*
V: It makes you stink.
R: what?
V: You smell bad.
R: I showered this morning
V: Too bad that after your shower you decided to smoke then.
R: Are you joking?
V: I am totally serious. Why would I be lying to you? Besides, I am an awful liar, aren't I?
R: good point
V: So next time you smoke, please don't come anywhere near me.
R: it is my decision whether I want to smoke or not!
V: And it is my decision whether I want you to sit next to me while you smell like that.
R: like what?
V: Let alone the fact I find smoking very unattractive.
R: unattractive?
V: Very
R: everyone does it though..
V: Their decision
R: why don't you tell them off?
V: Because they aren't sitting next to me at the moment...
R: class is over in five minutes
V: Great.
R: what's next? after maths, I mean.
V: P.E
R: Splendid! We're going to have an interesting conversation there.
V: I want to play basketball.
R: don't be a bitch.
V: That's hard.
R: Try.
V: No
R: for me?
V: Noooooo
R: playing hard to get doesn't suit you. I'll be waiting for you.
V: Yeah, right!
R: Don't be too late.
~
"A good lie comes naturally. You have to make yourself believe your lie in order to deliver it in a natural way, thus making it believable and simple."
"I thought it was all about not telling the truth." I say confused.
"Yes, but sometimes the lie may be so big that you won't be able to just confess it."
"I am afraid that if I start lying to myself, I'll go insane."
"Possible." He nods.
"Why can't we just tell the truth? It's a lot easier to be honest, you know."
"Is that what you want?" He smiles.
"Well, yes!" I exclaim.
Roman snorts. "Truth is boring."
"No, it's not. Truth is safe, it doesn't make you go insane and it does not cost anything. Actually, why don't I show you how simple being honest can be. I, for example, have spent the last ten minutes speaking to a guy when I am not interested in anything else at the moment except for that basketball game and that's the only truth."
"Ouch, my feelings." Roman puts his hand over his heart as if he is wounded and I laugh at his reaction.
"Well, truth does that often. It hurts but it's unique, you know. Whereas there might be a lot of lies, there's always one truth. And I'd like to think I was born to be unique. So, if you you don't mind me being honest, I'd like to join the game now." I say while tying my shoelaces.
"Come on, it's just a game. We can talk about whatever you want."
"Roman, I did stay with you for a while but now I have other priorities."
"I thought you liked my company." He turns his look away.
"I do, but I like basketball too. And I can talk daily to you but I don't have the chance to work out regularly." He looks a bit offended and I have the urge to stroke his hair, pet him even.
"Will you be online tonight?" He looks at me like he's trying to find the answer - and maybe more than that - in my eyes.
"Sure" I grin at him hoping that he won't take it the wrong way. I like spending time with him. But I am afraid I will eventually get bored because we don't have many things in common.
"Okay, you can go." He smiles again but this time I know he pretends to be happy for the sake of his pride. I don't know why he wants me to keep him company, I am sure he can find a lot more interesting people who he can discuss with. Besides, he can't expect me to stay here and talk with him while everyone else is playing basketball. If we were best friends I would not mind sacrificing a basketball game for him but this is Roman we're talking about. He, himself, has told me to not take him seriously.
I decide to pay his hurt expression no more attention because there is no way I am going to miss that game; I've been waiting for it for days and I will have to wait until next week to play again since today it's Friday. Therefore, I begin jogging towards my team feeling my adrenaline rise and my breathing quicken. As the game continues, I feel carefree, young and strong. I also feel one pair of eyes watching constantly my every move but maybe it's just my idea.
~
"Hey girls!" I greet my friends as soon as I approach the entrance of the building where the extra courses take place.
"Hello, Viola! How are you? Oh, that sweater is lovely." Peggy grins.
"Whoa... someone seems very happy today. I am curious to know why." says Nelly who just arrived.
"I thought you would know the reason why Miss Peggy is so excited." I nudge Nelly. "After all she's your other half, right?"
"Of course!" Nelly exclaims. Her smile is so wide that I can practically see her every tooth. She has a gorgeous smile, I must admit.
"Ugh, we need to get going." Amanda says looking at her watch. "Jim is gonna go crazy if we aren't on time." She adds and we all groan.
"Right, let's go." I start walking up the stairs when suddenly someone grabs the back of my sweater thus effectively making me stop but almost making me fall off the stairs. Amanda.
"I've got spicy news." She whispers.
"I'm all ears. George?" I ask even though I already know the answer. The girl is smiling as if she just discovered that tomorrow is Christmas and the whole planet will be selling food for free all day.
"Exactly." She claps her hands and I burst out laughing.
~
"So you were talking for two hours?" I ask her quietly.
"Yes." She whispers.
"About anime" I clarify.
"Yes." She nods.
"Well, at least that's a start."
"Shut up." She snickers and I turn around to make sure Jim is still explaining the problem to Alex. We're supposed to be thinking of how to solve it but apparently Amanda and I have different plans which our teacher would never approve of.
"He is not one to make the first move." My friend supports her crush.
"Not even the second." I say.
"Or the third." She snickers again.
"Seriously though, he is very slow."
"I know." She admits blushing. Blushing? God, help me.
"I think we should get back to the problem now." I whisper.
"Yes, right."
"Amanda, would you like to take the board marker and help us solve the problem?" Jim asks - or more like announces. Amanda swallows, her face reddening. Shit.
A couple of minutes later Amanda's colour is back to its normal as she sits back down. "You did very well." I praise her and I am rewarded with a very tired and shy smile.
"It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be."
"And by the way, George was looking at you the whole time you were up there." I wink.
"He was looking at the board, you idiot. Everyone was looking at the board." She says matter-of-factly.
I gasp quietly. "I beg your pardon, miss. I was looking at your fine ass." I tell her and she covers her mouth with her hand so as not to disturb the others with her laugh.
"You didn't tell me, however, if you have any exciting news."
"Um, well..." What to say now? "The same, you know."
"Any interesting boys?"
"Nah."
"Any interesting conversations like the one I had with George about anime?"
I shake my head negatively.
"You're boring." She snickers again and at this moment I almost regret ditching Roman today for a basketball game - even though we finally won.