The day : when they started to giving up the baby
3 hour passed.
They knew that their son couldn't make it. They knew that Youngjae was bringing the dead body inside him
Doctor Sungjin usually came every morning to checked Youngjae's HB, the nurses came like every 8 hours to give him foods, supplements, and medicines.
Doctor Sungjin said it'll be great if Youngjae will be able to do the surgery in 3 days... not in a week. Bcs doctor Sungjin said there's a risk that the dead body could turn out into a tumour or even a cancer if it stay for a long time enough inside Youngjae...
Youngjae experienced nightmare already. When he was taking a nap
Jb at the other hand, of course he knew that Youngjae experienced nightmare. He slept on the other bed on Youngjae's VVIP room. MarkSon knew about it too, since they spend a night and ended sleeping on the big sofa. Well for Jackson it's still a mystery why the VVIP room in every South Korea has 2 single beds (1 for the patient 1 for the guest) and 3 big sofas. Like why not you give 4 single beds, so MarkSon can have their bed for each, and 1 sofa?
Back to the nightmare... it was about his son who cried a lot and asked Youngjae to save him
He won't Jb knew what his nightmare was about
"A nightmare again?" Jb said as he walked to Youngjae's bed
It was the 2nd time Youngjae experienced nightmare. The 1st nightmare was when he take a nap
"Yes...."
"Tell me. What it is about?"
"I forget what kind of nightmare it is. But it's a bad one and i won't remember it"
"It's okay i'm here" Jb said as he pulled a chair next to Youngjae's bed, sat there and held Youngjae's hand
"Y-you should go back to sleep. it's late" Youngjae said
"Nah. I'll sleep here. So you won't have a nightmare"
"But hyung... if you sleep on the sitting position, you'll have a back pain tomorrow..."
"What do you think am i? A grandpa? I'm still young jelly bean don't worry" he assured
"Mmhh... Jb.. you won't sleep there?" It was Jackson..
"Are we too loud? Sorry we don't mean to wake you..." Youngjae said still on bed
"No... you aren't that loud... jb.. answer me... you won't sleep there?"
"Yeah i won't i'll accompany Youngjae... why?" Jb said
"Mark? You won't sleep there?" He asked sleeping Mark
"Okay then i guess that's a no. Yassss finally a real bed for me.... good night people have a nice day. I'll have a nice day too~" Jackson said as he left his old bed, which is a sofa, and then positioned himself on the new bed
"Did i say a nice day? I mean a nice sleep" he added then fell asleep already
He even snored.. a loud
Both Jb and Youngjae was just staring at Jackson
And both of them laughed bcs of Jackson
"Now go to sleep Jelly bean...." Jb said as he kissed Youngjae's forehead
Not for long, Youngjae fell asleep then Jb too... he fell asleep on the chair with his head on the side of Youngjae's bed and his hand still connected with Youngjae's hand
But then...
In about 4 hours
Which mean it's already 3.00 AM....
he was the one who experience a nightmare. About their son that cried a lot and asked his dad, which is Jb, to save him without killing his mom. He keep said sorry on his nightmare but the baby couldn't stop crying. What a nightmare...
He just shrugged it off, then...
He watched Youngjae's peacefull face...
He placed his eyes from Youngjae's hair, went down to Youngjae's eyes, then lips, neck, chest, and stop at the big belly
He thought everything about Youngjae is beautiful, he remembered how stupid he was to hate this beautiful creature.
He still in the thought of Youngjae untill he felt something from Youngjae's belly. Like something moved...
He removed his hand from the belly immediately as his reflect of shocked, slapped his own cheeks then placed his hand again to the belly. But nothing happened
So that was just his hallucination? Well of course, he thought. He just experienced a nightmare about their son so that's possible if he hallucinated things such as his son inside Youngjae's belly did a little hi-five with Jb hand
Hand still on the belly, full of thought of his hallucination, untill he heard a giggled.
Was it come from the belly?
But his head moved by itself to the source...
It came from Youngjae
"D-did i just wake you up?"
"No... well... yes... that's ticklish you know"
Oh he just realised what he did. He played his hand, made a circle motion on Youngjae's belly without him knowing. What a stupid.
"Sorry.. it just... well you need to go back to sleep. Sleep is a part of your therapy remember? Sleep effected your hb a lot"
"i know. But don't tickle me when i'm sleeping, okay?" Youngjae pouted
"Sorry Jae... Now go back to sleep" he said then kissed Youngjae's hand that he held
"I love you, hyung. So much" he said with a smile
The world stop for JB
As the moonlight peeking through the curtains above Youngjae, the most beautiful human being, just said a magical words for Jb that he wanted to hear the most. He always heard Youngjae said i love you too after he said i love you. And usually it sounded like Youngjae has to say 'i love you too' as a reply since his hubbie telling him 'i love you'. Nothing special and he can't feels Youngjae's love inside 'i love you too'
But this time... it was different. Youngjae said 'I love You' first... with a genuine smile, and he can't stop telling himself that..... Youngjae is beautiful.
"Hyung....."
"W-what did you s-s-say a-agai---"
"I love you. I love you. I love you without any doubt. I love you since you were a stupid asshole. I love you more when you changed into a good person. And i still love you. I love you and i always do. I love you the way you are. I won't ask for another bcs i just love you" Youngjae said with a bright smile with a blushed cheek and pinkish ear
Jb left speechless
"Now can i have my goodnight kiss?" Youngjae giggled playfully still blushing
Jb didn't move a bit. He still couldn't believe what he heard.
"So you won't give me a goodnight kiss? So you don't love me back?" Youngjae pouted
Jb amused by Youngjae's cuteness
Then he kissed the forehead, left cheek, right cheek, nose, and then lips
No i wouldn't say that as a kiss. It was just a peck
Just a peck. Yeah it was just a peck
At first...
Yeah... at first it was just a peck
But then...
It turn out into you know....
"Can you guys stop your cheesy love-forever-love-ever-after talks and your suck-and-eat-each-other-competition? I just have a nightmare thanks to the cheesy words and the sounds of moan from both of you. It's damn 3.30 AM" Jackson said out of nowhere
Both of Jb and Youngjae didn't dare to move
"Thank you. Okay good dawn. Have a nice kiss without moaning if you want to continue the kiss" Savage Jackson added
_____________________________
Day 2 : Nightmare
"Youngjae... Wake up.... your chicken's heart porridge isn't hot anymore.... Aishhh"
"JB! Wake up why you sleep in here?"
"Jack!!! Why you are sleeping on this bed?"
"What's wrong with this 3? The last time remember all of us slept around 9. It's 8.00 in the morning. Sleeping for 11 hours isn't enough for them?!"
Mark was talking with himself
Yup. The nurses came to their room on 7.30
That's the breakfast time + supplement for Youngjae.
When the nurses was about to wake him up, Mark said leave it to him. And till then, he couldn't wake Youngjae, Jb and Jackson
"What time is it?" Jackson said finally awake
"8.00. Now tell me why all of y--"
"JB!!! Youngjae!!! It's 8.00!!! They'll come at 9.00 to check you up right?! Wake up!!! Eat your breakfast!! Ya!!" Jackson panickly jumped from the bed and shaking both Youngjae and JB
Youngjae started to open his eyes and Jackson already greeted him with a bowl on his left hand a spoon of porridge on his right hand
"Youngjae.... Aaaaaaaaaa" jackson said
With that Youngjae ate his breakfast
"What time is it?" Jb this time
"8.15. Youngjae just finished his breakfast and supplement"
"8.15!? Why you guys didn't wake me up?!" Jb protested
"Ya!! I woke you 3 since 7.00. It's not my fault!! Now tell me what happened why Jackson on bed, Jb on chair?!" Mark said
But the 3 decided to ignore him
Mark keep mumbled about what happened last night with the 3 meanwhile the others came
Jinyoung Bambam and Yugyeom
They decided to check up Youngjae before they went to work
Yugbam being Yugbam with crazy Jackson made all of those 6 laughed
Youngjae? He just smiled. He didn't laugh with the other. It's not like the Yugbam + Jackson didn't funny enough. But... he smiled bcs he knows at least all of them love him and support him. Especially when Jaebum wasn't there. The memories of those 5 were always there when he needed the most....
Jinyoung is Jinyoung. He knows anything.
"Youngjae?? Are you crying?"
Without he noticed, a tear came out from his eyes while he was smiling
"N-no i'm fine"
"Jelly bean.. hey is there anything wrong? Why are you crying?"
"No.. it's just........"
*knock**knock*
"Come in" Youngjae said after swiped his tears away
"So... everybody here? Wah you have a lot of friends... you finished your breakfast and supplement? i'll check you up, right now"
"Okay. Doctor we leave him to you. We're going" Yugbam said in unison then the other started to following them
"It's just 10 minutes check you can stay--"
"It's okay doctor. We leave it to you and JB. We have to work too" Mark said and with that he left
___________________________
The nightmare once again came
He was taking a nap when he experienced nightmare
"Are you okay?"
"I'm okay hyung... it's just a nightmare"
"It's okay i'm here. Go back to sleep??"
"Mm... i don't think i can go back to sleep... also... i have a medicine schedule 30 minutes again right?"
Jaebum just sighed
Long story short. Youngjae took the food, drugs then in 2 hours the nurse came back to give him juice and supplement. He took everything that the nurse gave...
Without them realise it was already 9.00 pm. It's time to sleep for Youngjae
This time Youngjae made Jb to sleep on the other bed. Youngjae didn't want Jb to hurt his back bcs of sleeping on the chair next to Youngjae's bed
That day was just Youngjae and Jaebum. None of their friends came to sleep at there. They called Youngjae and Youngjae told them if he's fine and they do not need to come
But once again...
He experienced the same nightmare
And Jb too
The same nightmare
About their son who asked for help
They couldn't sleep
Jb woke around 4 A.M. Meanwhile Youngjae woke around 5 A.M
But both of them decided to not going back to sleep. They just talked about their future, supporting each other etc untill---
_________________________
Day 3 : For real?!
"Goshhhh!!!" Jb shouted
"W-what happened?" Youngjae asked
"Maybe bcs of the nightmare. Somehow i can feel 'our son' kicking my hand when i placed my hand om here" he said as he touch Youngjae's belly once again
"Oh there's nothing. Okay it's just me. Sorry" Jb mumbled
"I don't know. It seems like our nightmare is same. But.... sometime... i can really feel his movement inside me... i don't know. Maybe it's just our hallucination"
"Yes.. it's our hallucination. But... Youngjae-ah... They never checked him.... should we asked them to check it? I'm afraid if it's already turn him into a cancer already. They're too focus at your HB"
"C'mon hyung. They don't want to rush things i guess..... i think... cancer or tumour can't just come out in a week. So we don't need to worry.. I think it'll be better if both of us don't know about it or it'll make us sad and you'll ask them to take him out from me immediately meanwhile my HB isn't good enough for surgery... soo.... yeah..."
"Make sense.... Maybe you're right..." Jb said
"Good morning.... wah it seems like I don't need to wake both of you up, huh?" The nurse came inside with a wide smile
"Yeah we wake up early this morning" Youngjae said with a smile
"Here's your breakfast. Mr.Im, make sure your wife eat it and also don't forget about his medicine and supplement... Doctor Sungjin will check him and the things inside him a minute before a lunch time" The nurse said with a wink to JB
"not 'things' but still 'him' my son. And leave it to me, thank you" JB said
Then the nurse left them
Youngjae finished it all in some minutes
Then JB left him alone. You know JB needs to eat too. He bought himself some food at the cafeteria in the hospital. When he finished his food, he came back to the room with a glass of coffee
"Jelly bean~ my sunshine i'm back!!" He said with an aegyo
"So cheesyyy.. eeewwwhhh~"
"Don't ewww your Bummie hyung! Your Bummie hyung is mad! His sunshine should make an aegyo too!! Or your Bummie hyung won't forgive his sunshine bcs his sunshine just 'eewwww' at Bummie hyung!!" JB said cutely with a pout made Youngjae laughed
"Okay... okay... Bummie hyung~ our stupid but adorable hyung~ saranghae~~♡♡" Youngjae gave his best aegyo
JB burst into laughter and Youngjae couldn't help but burried his whole head under his blanket
"Youngjae-ah.. you are doing great. You should make a lot of aegyo in front of me"
"YAAAA HYUNG!!!"
He thinks it was so embarassing. He threw his blanket and started to hit JB with a pillow
"Okay okay you win you win... Now.. do you want to go for walk? You know this hospital has a lot of beautiful flowers at the park"
"Yeah i want too!! But i don't think i can walk a lot and let myself get tired... you know... or the medication will failed"
"Nah.. wait a minute i'll ask for their permission and come back with a wheelchair" JB said
Youngjae couldn't help but smile
Then... they went to the park
They saw a twin played together with their parents sat across on the bench across them
One of the twin was on the wheelchair just like Youngjae. Meanwhile the other was so normal and not using the 'patient clothes' from the hospital
He asked JB to bring him to the parent
"H-hi..."
"Oh hi? Do i know you?"
"N-no... i'm under the medication in here and he is my husband... so, that twin... your sons?"
"Yes.. they are our sons... anyway young lady, why you are on the wheelchair? What happened to you? What about your baby? Is he or she okay??"
JB tried his best to not laugh. Well the woman thought Youngjae is a female
"Mmm.. sorry i'm not a young lady but young man... i'm a pregnant male... and.... we couldn't make it... we should do a surgery to take him out like 2 days ago but my HB is just too low so they won't do a surgery to me or i'll be death on the surgery room...."
"Oh my God i'm so sorry to hear that... also... youngman i'm sorry to call your wife as a lady, he is so pretty anyway...." she joked to JB
"You're right. He's so pretty that i can't take my eyes from him...." Jb said gained a small slap from Youngjae
"You guys are so cute~ then did they check your belly? What about the baby? Is he or she still alive?"
"It's he. And normally he couldn't make it. He should be born on 2 days ago bcs his heart rate is just too low and we can't see any movement from him so... yeah..."
"Oh my god... you are carrying your dead son inside you? Omg i'm so sorry"
"No it's okay... so... why your other child was sit on the wheelchair like me?"
"I.... well... their name is Hoon and Joon. So 10 years ago, when i was pregnant, the doctor can heard their heart-beat very well... they're so active too as you know the last time we did the USG, we saw that Hoon was playing his leg like he was riding a bicycle meanwhile the Joon hand's on Hoon's shoulder... we couldn't see Joon's face or movement that time like he was hiding behind Joon but we thought it's normal since it's 2 in 1 then you can't really see them clearly you are luck enough can see 1 of them clearly. I mean what if they hug each other, then we can't see them"
"And??"
"And.. Joon is a failed one... we won't say him as a fail but in medical world, he's a failed one. So we don't know if Joon's heart rate is just too low that time bcs it's covered with the sound of Hoon's heartbeat. And both of us as parent don't have any idea if Joon was malnutrition. We don't even know if he was not active. We can't blame the doctor bcs the doctor can't never get an image of Joon but only Hoon. When we gave a birth to both of them, Hoon was so normal and healthy. His weight was 3kg, his breathing-freq was 45 times/min. But Joon... his heartbeat was 10 times/min, his breathing-freq was 30 times/min. And his weight was just around 2kg. He was so fragile that made us sad..."
"Omg i'm so sorry to hear that..."
"Joon can moves his hand.. his right leg but... Since he was born, he couldn't move his left leg. His left leg hasn't enough nutrition bcs of his heart rate is just too low that the nutrition can't spread to his whole body well and bcs of that low heart rate... his body metabolism was just too low so his body couldn't absorb the nutrition when he was inside me... so if you see take a closer look, Joon's left leg is smaller than his right leg"
And it was true when both of Hoon and Joon turned around.. Youngjae shocked to see Joon's condition... will his baby lived like Joon if he made a birth to his baby??
But he saw Joon's can still laughing.. it's just so sad for him
"And.. he needs Hoon for his whole life... they may be only 10 years old. But they did surgeries for times already... Hoon's lost a half of his kidney. We make him gave it to Joon in order to make Joon alive... since they were 5, the doctor took some of Hoon spinal cords and gave it to Joon. It was a rare syndrome. Hurler Syndrome. And Hoon needs to give his spinal cords one in a year to Joon. We couldn't give it bcs our spinal cords somehow doesn't match with Joon"
It made Youngjae sad...
Youngjae started to think 'what if Youngjae decide to save their son and then the son will born with that syndrome. And since the doctor can't save Youngjae, JB left alone with the baby. But then JB spinal cords doesn't match at all with their son? Then JB couldn't do anything bcs he couldn't find anyone with a matching spinal cords then all JB can do is just to watch their son died. So JB was totally left all alone...'
This is the first time he feel so relieved that they agreed to say goodbye to their son and save Youngjae instead their son
"Hoon loves Joon like Joon loves Hoon too. But he knows Hoon has a hard life bcs of him. He once so stressed to see Hoon laid on the bed for days bcs of the surgery effect meanwhile Joon can play around with his wheelchair. He wanted to kill himself but Hoon found out about it and Hoon made a lot of cut on his hand to showed Joon how sad he will be if Joon gone. When me and my husband came back home, we shocked to see a lot of blood from Hoon and brought him to this hospital and Joon cried and said sorry the whole time. He blamed himself but Hoon just smiled that time and said it's okay"
"Oh my God... life is unfair sometimes... Poor Hoon.... he will get the side effect of the surgery for days... meanwhile Joon feels better after the surgery.... i know how it feels to be Joon. He must feeling like he is the reason that a normal kid like Hoon hurt a lot" Jb said this time
"Yeah.. and they said Joon can only make it untill 10 years old. But if he can always get the spinal cords from Hoon, Joon can lived untill 15-20 years old. Joon know about it. He always wants to die. He feels as a burden. But Hoon... he won't let Joon die. He wants to spent a longer time with Joon. He have a dream that Joon can survive untill both of them at least reach 30 years old. An impossible dream that i wish come true..."
Youngjae felt so sad to hear the story. Joon has Hoon. But their son? What if JB kidney or spinal cords doesnt match at all with their son just like this parent and the twin. Like they are the real parent but their organs doesn't match at all.
"Here you are!! We are looking for you two the whole time" the nurse came
"Yes?"
"Dr. Sungjin said he will check on you and the baby. This way please"
Youngjae and JB said goodbye to Joon and Hoon's parent then following the nurse
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To be continue
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Next chapter >> Epilogue Pt 4 : End