Lisa
'Eccedentesiast' that's what my friends describe me. A person who hides pain with a smile. They said that I'm always smiling and it's fine to let go all my emotions.
Let go all my emotions?
Why would I do that?
To let them see my pain?
Thank you very much but nope. They will never understand it anyway so why bother, right?
"Here she goes again guys with that stupid smile!" Bambam groaned while massaging his temples.
"Oh c'mon guys. I'm just happy! Can't I smile now?" I asked them raising my eyebrow.
"Happy?! You saw Jennie kissing Irene! Then you're gonna say you're happy?! Bullshit Lisa!" Chaeyoung stared at me visibly frustrated on what I said.
My smile faltered but I immediately put it back. "I-it's just a misunderstanding guys. You all know that Jennie will never cheat on me. She can't do that to me and she will never do that." I assured them. I had enough with this topic but they don't wanna let it go just yet.
"Misunderstanding? Are you really that dumb Lisa? You saw it with your both eyes then you're gonna say she will never cheat on you?! This is so frustrating." Yuqi messes her bangs also frustrated with what is happening.
"What should I do then?" I asked still faking a smile. It is starting to hurt my cheeks but I can't let them see how broken I am right now. It's been a year since Jennie cheated on me with Irene but look, here I am still her girlfriend not wanting to let go.
You can't blame me for this, I love her so damn much.
"You need to let go Lisa. Let yourself be happy. Don't make yourself suffer." Bambam softly said caressing my back.
"You think letting her go will make me happy?" I asked nonchalantly. I'm getting tired of all of this. It's like a cycle. Every damn day!
"Yes! We all know it will be painful from the start but after that you'll be alright honey." Jisoo answered my question.
"How? She's my happiness... letting her go is like letting my happiness go." I slowly said. I want to breakdown. My tears wants to escape but I blinked it away. No. Not now. Not in front of my friends.
"You know you can cry, right?" Yuqi said.
Nope. No. Not in a million years!
"Cry? I don't cry Yuqs and why would I cry?" I smiled widely letting them know that I'm fine. I just wanna crawl in my bed right now. I'm getting tired of pretending.
"Cause obviously you're in PAIN, Lisa!" She shouted back at me earning some stares in the other costumers inside this café. I'm about to answer but my phone suddenly rang.
Jennie.
"Don't you dare answer that Lisa. I'm warning you." Rosé pointed at me and they are all glaring at me. How can I not answer my girlfriend?
"Why is that? My girlfriend wants to talk to me." After saying that I answered the phone waiting for her to speak.
"Hi, can we talk?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure why not. When and where?" I asked her feeling nervous. I know where this is going. Break up. After all of my efforts she still chooses Irene over me. How painful is that?
"Now and outside the Blink's Cafe..."
"Oh lucky you I'm already here. Wait for me I'll go outside." I inform her fixing my coat. "I love you." I added but she already hang up the phone.
"Where do you think you're going?" Bambam asked me.
"Outside. I'll be back wait for me here." I walked towards the exit and there I saw her leaning on the pole. How can I let her go? My heart started to beat abnormally. Her effect on me. I made my way towards her smiling and staring at her lovingly.
"Hi." I started. "Do you want something?" I softly asked her hoping that it will change her mind.
"Y-Yes... I uh I want to say this to you for a long time b-but I uh I don't have a chance..." She looked at her feet while racking back and fort. How adorable...
"You can tell it to me now." I smiled reassuring her that it's going to be fine.
"Lisa." She started. "L-Let's break up. I uh I need s-space..."
"Why?" I cleared my throat not letting my voice to crack. Nope not in front of her either. I'm not gonna cry in front of anyone!
"I l-love someone else... I'm so sorry I didn't mean to fall for someone..."
"Irene, isn't it?"
"H-How did-"
"Saw you two kissing." I sadly smile at her.
"I'm really sorry Lisa. I didn't mean to cheat. I'm so sorry..." She started crying in front of me.
"You know I hate seeing you cry, right? Especially if I'm the reason of it..." I gently wiped her tears while my other hand caressing her arm.
"Is there something I can do so you won't leave me?" I sounded desperate what can I do? I love her. I waited patiently but there's no answer. That's what I expected.
"I'm just kidding." I chuckled. "I'll set you free if you promise me to always be happy. Deal?" She nodded while wiping her tears. "Alright then, Jennie Kim you're officially free and you can love whoever you want." I hugged her for the last time not wanting to let go but I need to.
Today forwards I'm not the owner of Kim Jennie's heart... I can't fight back my tears any longer. I need to escape this damn pain.
"I need to go now. Be safe." I quickly walk towards my car not bothering to get my bag inside the coffee shop. I need to escape. I need to breathe. This is too much to handle. After entering my car that's where my tears started to fall.
It's fucking painful.
Damn this heart!
I started the car and drove as fast as I can. I can't see clearly because of this fucking tears!
Beep Beep
Before I could look beside me a truck crashed my car. I'm starting to lose consciousness. All I can hear is voices panicking.
How bad can my life be?