We're picking up where we left off :)
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"When we were kids you went by William." I say. "Right?"
I remember. I remember every time he gave me half of his lunch when I forgot mine. I remember when the class hamster bit me in second grade and I was crying. He got the Band-Aids from the teacher. I remember scraping my knee at recess and he helped me get to the nurse.
I remember.
"Yes." He says finally.
I nod slowly.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you go by William? Is that your middle name?"
He sighs. "When I was a kid I hated my first name, so I went by William. When I got older, I learned to like Liam." He shrugs.
My eyebrows pull together.
"You, me and Aiden, we were all friends. What happened? Why do you guys hate each other so much?"
He looks down at his hands.
"Aiden and I both had a really huge crush on you back then." He says.
My eyebrows shoot up.
"No you didn't."
"Yes we did." He says. He's not smiling, and I have a gut feeling that he's telling me the truth. "Fifth grade we kind of argued about you behind your back. Who got to hang out with you at recess, who got to be your partner with the projects..." he trails off. "And I started to dislike him, and he felt the same way about me." He swallows. "Well in sixth grade, um, the day you uh-"
"The day I got kidnapped." I say.
He lets out a breath. "Yeah. The day you got kidnapped, we went to lunch and you forgot your lunchbox in your Mom's car, so I gave you half of my lunch, and Aiden got mad that I gave you my lunch and he didn't have a chance because he was late getting to our table."
I nod, urging him to continue.
"I don't know if you remember, but we had the same forth period, all three of us, and it was like science or something, and you and I got paired for a project and Aiden got some other kid. Aiden was really angry and started yelling at me after class to switch partners. I told him no." He sighs. "After lunch I realized my phone was missing, but I wasn't concerned because I called my Mom on the way to lunch to tell her you were going to walk to the park down the street from school and that we were going to bring you home after. My parents were waiting at the park. I went to the park, but you never showed up."
I bite my lip and look down.
"By three fifteen, my Mom was worried. The school was only a five minute walk, if that, but it had been thirty minutes since school got out. My Mom called your Mom, your Mom called your brother, your brother went outside to see if you were home or something, and your cell phone was on the sidewalk outside of your bus stop." Liam swallows, and I keep my head down as I pick at the hole in my jeans, using my hair as a curtain so he can't see my face. "I remember my Mom taking me to your house and there were a ton of cops. Your Mom was crying and they kept asking them questions. They went through your phone, and you got a text from me telling you not to go to the park because I switched partners because I didn't want to work with you." Liam is quiet for a few moments and I find my throat feels tight, and I realize I'm trying not to cry. "The cops, your parents, your brother, everyone was questioning me. Aiden came over with his parents and they were asking me why I said that, and I told them I lost my phone at lunch. The police went and traced my phone to Aiden's house."
I look at Liam.
"What?" I whisper.
Liam takes a slow deep breath.
"Aiden stole my phone and lied to you. He told you that I switched partners because I didn't want to work with you. You got on the bus and went home, and the moment you stepped off the bus, some lady grabbed you off the sidewalk."
I wasn't supposed to be on the bus that day.
I sit there for a moment, paralyzed, and I feel my mind drifting away from Liam and the truck until I'm not there at all.
I frown down at my pink phone, opening the lid and closing it again.
"Savvy, how many times are you going to do that before you get bored?" Alyssa, my bus seat partner giggles.
"I hate this stupid smelly bus. I'm supposed to be with Will today, you know." I pout. "But he switched partners because he doesn't want to work with me. Why would he do that?" I look at her. "I just don't understand. We've been friends since first grade."
"I saw him talking to Christina before lunch today." She says. "He's probably working with her now."
"But we've been friends since first grade. It's so mean that he would just vanish like that."
"I know." She says. "Who knows. Do you want to have a sleepover this weekend? My Dad's leaving town and my Mom said I can have a friend over. She offered to take us to the beach." She smiles. I know she's trying to cheer me up, but honestly, a sleepover does sound fun.
Plus, I haven't been to the beach in like, a week. When you live by the ocean and you're away for a while, you miss it like crazy.
"Sure. I'll ask my Mom when I get home."
I hear the squealing of the bus tires and I roll my eyes as we come to a stop at my bus stop.
"I swear, are they ever going to replace the breaks in this thing?" I grumble.
"Probably not." She laughs. "Call me when you find out what your Mom says. Don't text me, I'm low on minutes."
"Okay. See you tomorrow." I smile.
"See you."
I grab my backpack and walk off the bus, opening the screen on my phone to see if Will texted me.
I'm sure he didn't mean it.
Right?
The bus breaks screech at the stop sign down the street and then it turns out of sight.
I look at my house three doors down and sigh.
I shift my backpack on my shoulder and take a step towards my house. A black SUV comes to a screeching halt next to me.
I turn my head in confusion, taking a few more steps to my house.
A woman with long brown hair and brown eyes gets out, grabbing my wrist.
"Hey, let me go!" I say. My phone falls from my hand and I struggle against her grip. She opens the back door and shoves me into it, sprinting around the car.
"Help!" I screech. "Help me!" I yank the door handle but it won't budge because of the stupid child lock.
"Shut the fuck up." The woman snarls. She puts the car in drive and we lurch forward.
I quickly snap back to reality, my mind working a million miles a minute.
I wasn't supposed to be on the bus that day. I was supposed to be with Liam. Liam wanted to work with me, but Aiden stole his phone and lied. Noah wasn't outside waiting for me because he thought I was with Liam.
Everyone thought I was with Liam, except for Aiden.
And his lie costed me everything, even if that wasn't his intention.
My heart aches painfully and I feel as if somebody is grabbing my heart and squeezing it.
I feel the way I did when I was first grabbed off the street. When I got to Iowa and I kept asking God why it was me? Why did he choose me? What did I do to deserve it?
And I remember the tightness in my chest. The pain. The hopelessness.
I put my right hand over my mouth and my left one clutches my chest, trying to stop the pain.
Breathe. Don't cry. Breathe.
But it's too late. The reality of what caused my kidnapping is too strong.
I feel my eyes well up with tears and a silent sob wracks through my body, and a few moments later, another one follows, until I'm fully sobbing silently.
I don't want to make any noise. I just want to fade away from the world.
Because this could have been prevented.
I could have been with Liam that day. I was supposed to be with Liam that day. I would have worked on that stupid science project. I would have been driven home by Liam's Mom. My parents would have been home. My Mom would have been walking me to the bus stop the next morning and noticed a black SUV floating around the neighborhood. She would have told my Dad. He would have called the police. The woman that took me would have been arrested and it would've been traced back to Damien and Sabrina.
We would have been fearful about the disaster, but it would've been prevented.
I would be seventeen with friends and an iPhone I know how to use. I would have a car and a job and probably had my first kiss or a boyfriend. I would be normal and I know normal people hate school and everything, but they don't know how fortunate they are. My brother never would have moved to Maui because he wouldn't have had anything to escape from. My parents would be married still, and I would have spent every Christmas, forth of July, and Halloween with my Grandma and the video camera.
I would have had a normal life, but Aiden lied and the result of his lie was my kidnapping.
I paid the price for his lie.
And the worst part?
I don't blame Aiden. It's not his fault. It could have been stopped, yes, but he didn't know what was going to happen to me.
I am, however, mad at Aiden for continuing to lie to me today.
Telling me Liam is dangerous, spewing a bunch of bullshit out of his mouth.
Doesn't he remember the consequence of his last lie? Does he even care what happened last time he lied to me?
Why did this happen? Why am I not normal? And why the hell am I totally losing it in front of this boy who clearly doesn't want me crying in his car.
"Savannah..." I hear Liam say quietly.
"I-I'm sorry!" I hiccup. "I'll just g-go!"
I reach for the door handle but his hand closes around my wrist. His grip is gentle and not at all forceful.
"Let me drive you home."
"No, I-I don't-"
"Let me drive you home." He repeats. "Okay? I'll take you home."
I feel him reach around me to put on my seatbelt, and then I hear his click and the feeling of us moving.
I take multiple deep breaths to get myself to calm down, but the longer I sit here, the more I realize how much I hate my life.
I hate what happened to me, and I hate who I am.
I hate that I read book because I don't understand things everyone my age does. I hate that I'm too afraid to leave the house. I hate that I have been back for a month and a half but I still haven't gone to the beach. I hate that I haven't felt the sand in six years. I hate that I have a scar on my forehead. I hate that I don't have friends. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself, and truthfully? I want to die.
Part of me wishes Damien just killed me. I thought if I got out, I would come home and it would be easy. I thought I would come home and life would just go back to normal.
I didn't know how much the world changed.
I was thrown into a world I don't understand and I don't have anybody willing to show me.
Nobody wants to be around me and my own family doesn't even understand me.
I hate me.
I want to be normal. I want to be happy.
I feel the truck roll to a stop but I don't move. We sit in silence for a long time and I find words wanting to leave me throat.
"Liam," I start to thank him for the ride, but the words in my head leave my mouth before I can stop them. "I want to die."
I hear him take a deep breath, and then silence.
Stupid, stupid, so fucking stupid! This guy doesn't care! What the hell is wrong with you? Could you be any more of a fuck up?
I brush my hair out of my eyes and peek out of my hands at him.
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Yo I sobbed while writing this and I think it's because I listened to "The House that Built Me" while writing this and I'm not ready to leave my childhood home. In two weeks we won't be living here anymore
Idk but this story is starting to eat at my emotions. I'm gonna have to make some happy at some point otherwise I'm gonna cry all the time
~Sam