❝I don't want to lose him.❞
DANIEL HATES THE WAY his sister is staring at him. Disappointment would understate the look in her eyes so identical to his.
"Dan," she huffs and runs her hands down her tired face. "What am I going to do with you?" She leans her arms on the kitchen island allowing hair to fall over her shoulders in inky ripples.
"Don't do this." He balls his fists to push down the emotions that threaten to break through his impenetrable walls. "It's bad enough that Ashton hates me. You can't hate me too. You don't even know Vivian."
She jerks her head up and slaps her hands against the marble top. "I know she wasn't a bad person like you said she was. I know you manipulated our best friend just so he could be lonely."
"Be safe," he stresses. "I kept Ashton safe from this stupid idea of love."
Dea waves this off. "You only say that because you don't understand it like the rest of us."
"Is that my fault?" he inquires darkly and narrows his eyes. "No, it's not. I do what I have to do to get what I want."
"I know." She bows her head again and digs her fingers through her hair. She sits like this for a moment, thinking, before releasing a groan. "Not everyone is going to get your condition or understand it as much as I do. You can't expect them to accept your actions just because you don't feel empathy."
Daniel shrugs. "I don't care if they understand or not. I only care that Ashton is safe. If it were you, I'd manipulate just as many people to keep you safe."
Dea lands her tired eyes on him and the saddest of smiles stretches across her lipstick stained lips. "That's the closest to love you'll ever get."
"You know I care about you. Just like I care about Ashton. He's mine and I have a right to protect him."
"No." She reaches to touch his tense hand. "He's not yours, Dan. Ashton is not an object."
"He's my best friend, therefore he is mine," Daniel argues. "I've protected him for nearly a decade. I've been there for him through everything. Besides you, Ashton is the only one who's ever been there for me. Yet the second it comes out that I made sacrifices for him, he turns on me."
"You messed with people's lives in the process, Dan." Fatigue gradually stains her expression that's usually bright with optimism. "He told me about what Vivian went through and it's...it's awful."
"I have no control over what Vincent did to her," he deadpans.
She slides her hand from his and presses her fingers into her eyes. "You knew he abused her and you knew Ashton loved her."
"Their love was toxic."
"That is not for you to decide!" she snaps. When she looks at him again, her eyes are angrier than he's ever seen them. "Dammit. Is this a game to you?"
"No." He shakes his head. Though he won't admit just how much he's enjoyed controlling Ashton's life. The satisfaction he felt knowing he had a major effect in his friend's decisions won't translate well in this situation.
Releasing a sigh, Dea pushes her hair back and shuts her eyes. "I've been dealing with so much here lately. I have a girlfriend whose family issues are slowly tearing her down. I have a best friend with more issues than I can keep track of. Ria's probably pregnant and we all know that isn't a good thing. Then I have you, Daniel, my sociopathic brother who's causing enough trouble to literally get people killed."
To this, Daniel says nothing. He doesn't know what to say. All he knows is that he hates when Dea is upset with him. During their entire lives, she's never left his side. Even when he was diagnosed with a personality disorder, she stuck by him when everyone else in his family shamed him.
Dea's never failed to show him kindness. She was motherly when their mother wasn't there. A friend when he was alone. A big sister whenever he's in desperate need of some advice. If Daniel understood love as much as everyone else did, he's certain he would love his sister.
"Let me ask you something, Dan. I don't want you to lie to me." Her tone softens, but a sharp edge hides beneath it as she fixes him with a hard stare. "Be honest."
He presses his lips into a firm line but nods.
"Are you responsible for tearing Ashton and Ria apart?" As the question falls from her lips, sadness sinks her delicate features like she already knows the answer.
They stare at each other with silence strangling the room. For some reason, his heart beats faster. He's not sure if it's because of guilt or because he's afraid, but he doesn't get a chance to figure it out.
"Dan," she breathes his name with enough emotional weight to pierce his chest. "How could you? Ria is such a good person. How could you hurt her like that?"
"I didn't want her to be like Vivian. I didn't want her to take him away from me," he explains desperately. "I thought if I could scare her with the truth about Ashton, she would prove that she's not strong enough for him."
Dea shakes her head and slides from her seat. For a moment, she braces herself against the island as if she's gone weak from this realization.
"Dea..."
Ignoring him, she takes gradual steps to his side where he continues to sit and places a hand on his shoulder. Despite how light her touch is, her hand is heavy and full of regret. She passes her emotions to him and keeps her gaze low and tainted with shame.
"You will have to tell them the truth. Even if they never forgive you, you have to be the one to tell them. Not Chris."
"No." He shakes his head as panic rises in his lungs. "He will never forgive me, Dea. He'll hate me." He grabs her wrist and begs her to understand. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Daniel, Ashton may never forgive you, but you can't hide this from him any longer."
Still, he desperately tries to get her to understand. He tightens his grip and pulls his sister closer. "I don't want to lose him, Dea."
She pulls her wrist from him and hits him with a look of betrayal. With just one look, he realizes just how bad he messed up. Even his own sister seems to be at a loss with him. Her expression is solemn and voice light as she says, "I think you've already lost him."
"Dea..." He watches as his sister leaves his house in silence; aches and resentment coursing through his limp body. He's never felt pain like this before. It's unbearable. He hates it. It's like he's going to be alone all over again.
Fuck.
Daniel digs his fingers through his hair and grits his teeth. "It was not supposed to be this way."
Everything changed the night that Ashton met Ria. Daniel should have known things were going to be different back then. He should have kept him away from her a lot sooner.
Ashton never slept with women he didn't know. In fact, Ashton barely bothered with women after he was convinced Vivian left him. Yet Ria managed to drag him into her clutches and changed Ashton into a man that he barely recognizes anymore.
He just wanted things to be the same. He didn't want to lose Ashton and now it seems like he's done more than just lose him.
Daniel isn't alone for long. Right at noon, a knock hits his front door, echoing through his lonely home.
Jaden, the anomaly in Daniel's crumbling world. Despite telling himself to stop seeing the young man, he's almost grown addicted to his presence. He likes dominating him. Controlling him. No matter how indifferent Daniel acts towards Jaden, the guy just clings on to him like a lovesick kid.
With sluggish steps, Daniel leaves his kitchen and welcomes Jaden into his home... Only something is different.
Jaden's face isn't eager or lustful like normal. His light brown eyes are wide and anxious. He shuffles into Daniel's house and instead of stripping out of his jacket and landing a hungry kiss on his lips, he grabs Daniel's wrists and attempts to calm his own harshened breath.
"What is wrong with you?" Daniel scowls and attempts to keep him still.
"There was a man," he pants and swallows a gasp, "a man was just outside. He was scary as hell."
Daniel's heart drops and he pulls himself from Jaden's frantic fingers. He already knows the answer, but he asks anyway. "What did he look like? Was his name Vincent?" He grabs Jaden's shoulder and holds him steady. "Was he Russian?"
"Ah, yeah." He blinks rapidly, trying to pull his thoughts together. "He's tall, pale and his eyes are light and freaking scary. He's got like a scar on his lip and he kept giving me this smile that was creepy as hell." He grabs his chest beneath his jacket. "Jesus, he freaked me out."
"What did he say? Did he touch you?"
"Uh, n-no." Jaden rubs his face and widens his eyes. "I mean, I think he was threatening you. He said you have one week to hand her over. Wh-who is she?"
"Vivian," he breathes. "He knows that we have her." Daniel backs away and clenches his hands into fists. "Fuck."
He can't turn Vivian over. He can't. If Ashton hates him now, he'll surely try to kill Daniel if he puts her life at risk again.
What the fuck do I do?
"Are you caught up in like some illegal stuff?" Jaden touches Daniel's arm, taut with stress. "That's kind of hot."
"Jaden, not now," he grumbles and shakes his hand off. "That man is dangerous." He grabs his arms and pulls him close, forcing him to see how serious he is. "If you ever see him, just do as he says and keep your mouth shut if you can."
"O-okay." Jaden nods, letting dark curls bounce over his eyes, and licks his lips anxiously. "Are you in some sort of trouble?"
"It's not your concern. You shouldn't even be here. I should have ended things with you." Daniel releases him and storms towards his bedroom with adrenaline rushing through his veins.
Fear. One thing Vincent never fails to evoke.
"But I really like you, Dan," Jaden calls and scrambles after him. "I don't want to end this."
He huffs and ignores his silly professions. Digging through his nightstand, he finds his wallet. He makes hasty steps across the room and snatches his overnight bag from next to his bed. Without hesitation, he begins tossing out all the contents.
"Dan..." Jaden touches his back tenderly, making him flinch. "We've been doing this for months now. Don't you think you like me too?"
"I can't like you, Jaden."
"Yes, you can," he insists.
"No," he says through gritted teeth, "I can't."
"Why don't you just try?"
"Jaden," Daniel snaps and whirls around, "I can't like you. I literally can't! I am not programmed that way, okay?"
Jaden blinks back the pain in his eyes and holds his hands to his chest. "What...what do you mean?"
Daniel pinches the bridge of his nose and releases a heavy exhale. "I don't know what anything means. I just know that I don't care. Romantic relationships aren't enticing to me. I like sex. I like waking up next to a warm body in the morning. That's it."
"So you're like...aromantic or something?" He looks down at his fingers and bites his lip. "That's fine. We don't have to be romantic. We can just be together."
"You don't get it." Daniel laughs almost hysterically as this is the last thing they should be discussing in his panic. "I don't care about you, Jaden. It takes a lot for me to care about people. I don't have empathy. If I hurt you, I wouldn't feel bad. Do you honestly want to keep getting hurt by me? You're so naïve, it's honestly ridiculous. I'm never nice to you. I only fuck you and then you leave in the morning. I don't care about your personal life. The only thing appealing to me is sleeping with you."
Jaden doesn't seem surprised by this. He just shrugs and holds his arms around himself. "I kind of figured that. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. Liking you is so easy for me. I just...like being around you. I like that I'm your first experience with a man. Even though you keep telling me we're through, you always call me."
"That doesn't mean I like you," he grumbles.
Dropping his arms, Jaden begins fidgeting with his fingers while his eyes study Daniel's vacant expression. "Have you slept with other guys?"
Daniel hesitates but shakes his head. "No...I don't have time to search for other men."
"How would you feel if I found another guy to sleep with?"
He sucks in a sharp breath and folds his arms. "That doesn't mean I like you."
"If you're possessive of something, you have to like it a little, right?"
"Jesus, this is toxic." Daniel turns back around and empties the rest of his bag. "Jaden, do yourself a favor and find a wholesome guy who can actually have feelings for you."
"I don't care if it's toxic." He laughs nervously and trails after Daniel to his dresser. "I didn't come from a sheltered environment. The fact that you even give me attention is wholesome enough for me."
Daniel shakes his head and begins stuffing clothes in his bag. "You're so fucking stubborn."
"Because I like you. If you're in trouble, I want to help you."
"You can't possibly help me."
"My aunt is in the FBI," he blurts. "I...I can connect you with her."
This makes Daniel hesitate and he turns to Jaden with narrowed eyes.
Seeing this bit of interest, he continues frantically, "I don't see her often because she's always deep in some serious investigations. If you are involved with dangerous people, she can help take them down. Put you in witness protection or something."
"This man has friends in high places. He's evaded the law for years..."
"My aunt isn't crooked." Jaden grabs Daniel's wrists with clammy fingers. "She's busted a lot of people. Just give her the information she needs and she'll do whatever she can."
I could protect Ashton...
Only if no one else decides to come after them. There's still Camilla. The woman has more powerful resources than Vincent.
But if we can take Vincent down, we can possibly take her down too.
"Fine. Get me in contact with your aunt. If you can't do it within a week, I have to go protect this girl. She's important to a friend of mine."
"Of course!" Jaden grins. "I'm sure she can fit you in as soon as possible. I'll call her tonight."
Daniel nods. "We should probably stop seeing each other." Even if he doesn't care about Jaden's feelings, it'd be another thing if his life were actually put at risk because of him. He doesn't want this guy's blood on his hand.
Stubborn as ever, Jaden shakes his head and runs his hand up Daniel's arm. "I don't want to."
"Jaden, being around me is dangerous."
"Living is dangerous. Hell, I grew up homeless until I was fifteen. Hardly anything can scare me these days." He places a gentle hand against Daniel's jaw and leans closer. "I want you to be my boyfriend."
Daniel scoffs and shakes his head. "Did you not just hear me earlier? I-"
"Aromantics can still be in relationships. We don't have to do anything you don't want to. We can just have sex. I just want to be around you." Daniel fixes his lips to say no, but Jaden places a slender finger against them. "I get that you're not like the rest of society. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't let people love you."
Daniel's heart stops and for once he actually listens to what Jaden is saying. Those words...they're so similar to the words Dea told Daniel years ago when he first got close to Ashton.
Despite attempting to distance himself, Ashton was adamant on befriending Daniel.
"I just don't get it. I hardly talk to the guy and he just keeps hanging around me."
"Cause he likes you," Dea chirps and nudges her brother's arm. They cross another street to reach their house and she skips a few steps ahead of him. "You know, some people are drawn to weirdos with stony façades. They want to break done those high walls."
Daniel rolls his eyes. "He's not going to break me down. I can't feel empathy, remember? Our friendship would be so one-sided."
"Just because you have a condition, doesn't mean you can't enjoy things like the rest of society, Dan. Having friends is a privilege but also a necessity. No one wants to be alone. Just look at you and me."
He thinks this over for a moment. It's not like Ashton annoys him. He seems to have his own personal issues, but he just doesn't understand why he'd pick him to be his friend out of everyone else in their stupid school.
"I guess." He shrugs. "I'll let the guy be my friend, but if I end up hurting his feelings, it's not my fault."
Dea snorts. "Just don't be an asshole. I know that's a lot to ask."
Daniel grins at his sister and adjusts his backpack. "You still love me."
"Questionable. I don't have much choice. You're the only one in the family who doesn't think it's weird that I like girls."
"Who cares what you like? It's not hurting anyone."
She smiles a beautiful smile that manages to make him feel like he's not so empty inside. There's a little kick in her step now. "It's scary to say this, but I wish everyone thought like you, Dan. Sometimes you're not the heartless prick you come off to be."
Daniel huffs out a laugh as the memory fades. He's notorious for hurting people. He's hurt just about everyone in his life, but he still manages to attract people who care about him.
People like Jaden who stare up at him with desperate eyes. Who's bronze skin littered with freckles manages to hide the most innocent blushes beneath his soft cheekbones.
It'd be lying if Daniel said Jaden wasn't a weakness. He draws so many satisfying sensations out of him. He just hates that the guy has feelings because Daniel could care less about them. Still, having him around more often wouldn't hurt.
"Fine."
Jaden's eyes brighten and a grin spreads across his face. "You'll be my boyfriend?"
"Doesn't fine mean yes?" Daniel grumbles.
Grinning, he throws his arms around Daniel's neck and plants a messy kiss on his lips. Daniel finds the dip of his back, pulls him close and kisses him back roughly. Jaden loves rough affection and Daniel loves the feeling of dominating him.
When Jaden breaks away, he kisses Daniel's jaw and trails his soft lips down his neck. "You won't regret this."
"You might," Daniel mutters and finds the hot skin beneath Jaden's clothes. "I'm involved in some dangerous shit."
"I like danger."
"If your aunt can't help me, I'll have to leave, Jaden. If I do, I have no idea when I'll be coming back. You can't wait around for me. There are...there are people I have to protect."
Jaden stops kissing him and leans back to place soft hands on either side of Daniel's face. "She can help you. She will. I swear, Daniel. I'm not going to let some sexy creepy bad guy hurt you."
Jaden's lips find his again, reassuring words trying to calm Daniel's worry. He can only hope that this is true. Dealing with Vincent, someone always ends up getting hurt.
Jaden is so cute 😩 Daniel doesn't deserve him.
Curious, do you guys think it's possible for Dan to ever redeem himself?
So we've confirmed that Vincent is in the know and he wants Daniel to deliver Vivian to him. Buuuut Jaden might have a helpful resource!
How's it gonna play out???
-bri😘