Ethan
As I inhaled, I breathed her in, the sweet, fruity smell of her shampoo and that haunting perfume I would recognize anywhere. This closeness was calming yet at the same time it was astonishing and I found myself in one hectic sensational mess.
Skye has never asked me to talk about what happened or the details of how I became blind. Never the less I wanted her to know. She should know. For the sake of whatever the future held- I wanted to be an open book. I wanted her to know me from that previous time in my life that got me to where I was.
I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before starting they trip to the past, "So, a couple of years ago I was in the school's football team. Most of my teammates were second or third generation football players –just like me, so you can say it was kindda' in our blood and frankly, our lives revolved around the game."
I smiled at the memory, "We've never lost a single game that season, the long practice hours and hard work were finally paying off. The teams' name climbed that score board one game after the other, victory after victory. We were on a streak and that year was ours without a doubt. My god, I'll never forget that day."
"It was our final game and we played against one of the toughest players we ever came across. All the games we played before were nothing compared to this one. And god, if you could see the benches, the place was packed! No matter in which direction you turned, there wasn't a single empty space."
"Crowds cheered nonstop. The band played their music. You could smell of freshly mowed grass, popcorn and hot dogs filling the air. Coach looked like he was about to have a stroke at any moment."
Skye's light laugh played with my heart strings.
"Seriously, I've never saw someone look that pale and red." Skye laughed harder making me chuckle too.
The events time were live in my mind like it was just yesterday and I kept going, "The tension, the static and the excitement- everything around us was magnified and heightened a hundred times. That day we played in sync like we've never did before. The whole team was focused and in the zone. And those guys we played against were ruthless. They met every point of ours with one of theirs."
"So you see, we were one minute away from the final whistle, it was either we win or lose the game and the whole season. I swear, I've never heard that many people be so silent. It was one minute with a fifty-fifty chance. When we scored that final, no flags, clear touchdown it was unbelievable and the crowd went crazy, Tigers... Tigers... Tigers..."
I could feel the rush pulsing through me. Recalling the game details with the same enthusiasm that I lived it with. I wished I could've share that day with her, back when everything was fine. Where I could've introduced the old me to her and not this massive mess that I've became.
Would she have liked me then?
"I can almost imagine it! That must have been amazing!" Skye's voice was infused with exhilaration and excitement that matched mine. That smile that I liked hugged her words.
"It was! Newspapers wrote about it. Local sports news channels covered the whole game. Sports magazines didn't stop writing about the team and the games we won. It was wild! Different universities, managers, coaches were scouting to find players to join their teams. I had some awesome offers that day. Scholarships, national team, football career, it was absolutely mind blowing. Some even had their contracts ready to be signed right on spot. Everything I dreamt of was happening."
I started to get edgy as I reached the next part, "We had this tradition going on after every big game we won and we would throw this huge party where everyone was invited. That day Kyle hosted the winning party since his parents were out of town and man, that guy threw the coolest parties that made everyone want to attend.
"After the game I had to meet up with some scouts and since Carmen and I were a thing back then, I asked her to wait for me until I was done so we would go together, you know, boyfriend - girlfriend and all." A bad taste filled my mouth and had my stomach turn and that memory.
"We had this fight that she will miss the party and needed to go home and change and it will take a long time before I was done. So we agreed to meet there later."
Skye moved a little then settled, "How did you guys meet?" She asked.
I shrugged, "She was a cheerleader- I was in the team and as she put it, we would be perfect together and so did everyone else. Things were good between us in the beginning, I'm not going to lie to you, and she knew how to make guys fall for her. Things between us would start out fine and it would stay fine for a while, but somehow we always ended up fighting."
I've never noticed how exhausting my relationship with Carmen was until now. All signs were pointing out that what we had wasn't working and I should have broken up with her long time ago.
"When I reached Kyle's house a couple of hours later and looked for Carmen to tell her the news that I was offered a football scholarship, I found her with Kyle, in his parents' bedroom, drunk and half naked, kissing. A second later I was punching my best friend in the face and breaking up with my girlfriend."
The feeling of disgust rose as I recalled their image in my mind. Carmen in her underwear straddling shirtless Kyle kissing him and moaning almost made me hurl. That was when I came across a huge reveal; I was no longer hurt by that memory. There was no rage, pain or even remorse.
"All I could remember after that was feeling angry and betrayed. I knew what Carmen was, but I didn't expect it from Kyle. He was someone I considered a brother. I don't know how I reached my car or what happened, all I wanted was to leave there and not think about it. I wanted their image to be erased from my brain. The crash part is a bit hazy in my mind."
Skye's hand touched my arm silently.
I smiled a little and shrugged not wanting to dwell on my misfortune any more than I have to so I let the rest roll out quickly, "I was in a coma for twenty-three days and stayed at the hospital for thirty-eight days. I had a concussion, fractured skull broken clavicle, four ribs, one arm, and three fractures in one leg, punctured lung, and ruptured spleen. What else, ah, and blind of course. I went through months of physiotherapy. The doctors tried to schedule me for therapy as well, but I never went. Days went by and here we are."
I tried to make it lighter for her to hear. Trained my feature to carelessness in the hopes that she won't see some loser who has lost everything. The scholarship. The planned future. The bad choices of a girlfriend and a best friend who was like a brother to me. I kept the bitterness of it all to myself, but again, this was Skye and she saw right through me. I might not see her but feeling her and hearing her was in volumes.
"I'm sorry that you went through all that", she whispered in a heavy voice.
Her hand gently moved over my heart in a tender stroke causing it to stumble over its own beats. It felt like a serene, tender caress straight to the heart. My whole body pulsed with alleviation. Covering her hand with mine I lifted it up and pressed my lips against the softness of her palm. Perhaps I imagined her hand trembling a little in mine.
We had a moment of silence that was filled with unspoken words. I could sense that she wanted to talk but she hesitated. I could hear the short inhale that she did before she spoke followed by an exhaled sigh. I could feel her was getting unmistakably restless.
"What's on your mind?" I asked when she didn't say anything for a long time.
She moved off of me leaving me feeling deserted and alone, even though her voice came from right in front of me. Her voice sounded different, filled with anguish and sorrow that sliced through me, "Um... About... my parents..."
She was about to do what I've done and share the details of a most horrible time in her life. It didn't settle well with me. Not like this. I wanted to reach out and fold her back closer to me. What hurt her, broke me. What saddened her, flipped my day to dark and murky.
"Listen..." I held out my hands and waited until I felt her palms against mine. Closing my fingers tightly around them and gently rubbing the soft skin under my thump. I tried to speak through our joined hands since I wasn't able to express with a simple eye contact. "You don't have to, Skye."
"But... you've just..." her voice was torn.
I interrupted, "And you will. When you're ready and that's not today. Maybe not even tomorrow, and that's okay. If you want to tell me next week, next month, or even next year. Skye, if you don't want to tell me at all, it's okay." I smiled a little, "I just want you to know that whenever you need me, I'll be there. I promise." A promise I was going to keep for eternity.
The smile was back in her voice, "Thank you, Ethan."
"Actually, I should thank you because you're still talking to me", I rubbed the back of neck trying to release some of the tension. "So, are we good?"
"Yup, that what friends would do" she reminded me.
"Hmmm..." I moved our joined hands slowly, taking my time to slowly entwine our fingers despite my rushing heartbeat. My senses heightened sensing her every move. Her slender fingers slowly sliding down the space between mine just perfectly. The softness of her skin against mine. The rhythm of her breathing.
Suddenly I was so nervous that I almost chocked on my own breath, "Yeah... about that... well... what I want to say is that... I like you... a lot. I want to be more than just your friend. Skye, I want to be your boyfriend." I closed my hand over hers and waited for her answer.
My heart and lungs and everything else stopped with anticipation. I nearly followed on gramps footsteps and had a heart attack myself. I felt a slight movement through our joined hand coming from her, but she said nothing.
"Um... Skye, a blind guy here. You'll have to say somethi..."
Before I could end my sentence properly she yanked her hand away from mine and my heart sank with that. But what happened next was the most stunning and fascinating thing that could ever happen.
My hand shot behind me slapping the ground in urgency as Skye's body pushed against mine, bracing us both from tumbling. Her arms wrapped around my neck in an embrace and her lips met mine tenderly, surprising me and shocking me from head to toe. I froze, my brain went blank, my heart stopped, my breathing cut and all systems shut down for a moment before rebooting to full capacity.
My arms closed around her tightly, bringing her closer to me, kissing her back. Madly, possessively, tenderly. Nothing else seemed to exist in this world. Only us. How someone's lips could feel so incredibly soft yet at the same time drives you to the brink of madness?
And oh my god, my poor heart. Now, I would definitely have a heart attack. Resting my forehead to hers' as my lungs recollect their forgotten duties. Nothing felt more victorious than this.
"I'll take that as a yes." The words got caught between breathing and laughing.
She giggled in my arms, "And I like you too, a lot."
I laughed.
"Hey, can I ask you something?" I asked after a while, hesitantly.
"Anything." Her words smiled as her arms unwind from around me and she leaned back.
"Um... can I touch your face?" It might be windy around us, but I was burning up.
"Touch my face?"
Her confusion added more knots to my nerve system and I swallowed hard, "I don't know how you look."
I've always failed to imagine how she looked. The shape of her face, her eyes, nose, and those lips that set me on fire just a second ago.
I have a background image of every person in my life. All the people that I've known before the accident. I could see how they talked in my head, their facial expressions, the way they moved, which expressions matched the tone of their voices, but not Skye. She was a mystery to me.
The low rustle of her clothes as she moved told me she was getting closer. Then confirmed it by the two points where her knees touched my leg.
"On one condition..."
"Name it!" I was eager to set her a picture in my mind.
Now she hesitated, "Will you take off the shades?"
"No!" My hand shot to my face securing them in place.
I felt her flinch at my strong reaction and I internally cursed myself for that.
I never took the shade off after the accident, not even at home. Taking them off before going to sleep was the last thing I did every night and putting them on was the first thing I did after I woke up. The last time I saw my own reflection was that day before the party. There were cuts and bruises all over my face after the crash. I've felt the roughness and rigid edges of healed skin after they took off the bandages.
I knew that the cuts and bruises have healed, but I wasn't sure how messed up things were underneath those shades.
What if she didn't like what she saw?
Or worse, what if she was repulsed with what she saw?
"I'm sorry. I'm just not used taking them off", I tried to smooth things out.
I've just made it through the first possible- proposal- rejection when I asked to be her boyfriend, and now I was practically preparing myself for a second more-likely one.
"What's worrying you?" She spoke softly.
I exhaled, "You. What might be behind those shades." I spilled without thinking.
"Baby steps, Ethan. Baby steps," she was always smiling when she spoke to me, "It's just that, I don't know how you look either." She used my words.
Dammit!
Reasoning was taking over fear. My mind was set. I shouldn't ask a girl to be my girlfriend without having the guts to literally show my face, no matter how much it rattled me. Especially now that I've asked to touch hers.
"Fine!" I gave in and prayed that she won't regret this.
I held my hands out waiting for guidance. Skye simply brought my palm to her face and that was when my heart started doing weird things.
Her cheeks cool under my palms, she had incredibly soft, smooth skin. I moved to her forehead picturing how she looked. My fingertips brushed against the bow of her shaped eyebrows then tickled by a heavy row of eyelashes, I felt their flutter run through every nerve in my body.
Then I traveled down the narrow bridge of her nose then towards my new addiction, her lips, soft and luscious. My fingers lingered a tad longer. I wanted to kiss and taste them again so bad that a shiver ran down my spine as if someone dragged their taunting fingernail down my back. Then for disclosure I traced the fine line of her jaw and her chin.
I was never an artistic person neither did I ever obtain a single speck of imagination, but I desperately wanted to have a picture of her in my mind. I knew she was beautiful. I could hear the guys howl and whisper whenever she walked by and I heard it in my family's compliments. I might be blind, but I wasn't deaf. I wasn't sure if the image I had in mind looked anything like her, but what I've just touched took my breath away.
"You are gorgeous!" I was breathless.
Skye
My heart was fluttering the whole time Ethan was touching my face. I don't know how I've kissed him, but when he said he wanted to be my boyfriend I... I...
Why was my heart beating this fast?
And now as he unconsciously bit his lips while touching mine I could feel my cheeks turning bright red. I could hear the rush of blood in my ears mixed with my loud heartbeats. I knew I didn't have that screaming beauty like a certain cheerleader, but at least Ethan thought I was beautiful.
"I'm glad you think that."
Great! Even my voice was blushing. Just breathe. Stop thinking about the kiss and breathe.
"I guess it's my turn now." He strained, "All yours".
I could feel his whole body turning taut. His jaw was clinched tight and his hands closed into fists that were pressed firmly to his thighs, getting more anxious by the second.
"Ethan, its fine if you don..."
He interrupted sternly, "No, a deal is a deal. Go ahead."
I knew that he wouldn't relax until this was over, so I inched closer reaching for his glasses while keeping an eye on his features for any changes. As I slowly and gently slipped the shades off slowly I noticed Ethan has stopped breathing and I did too.
I couldn't look away. I would never have guessed the color of Ethan's eyes. They were hazel brown towards the iris, surrounded by warm green. Ridiculously long, dark lashes framed his intelligent eyes that made my heart hiccup and then melt. There was a small deep scare under his left eye and another on the outer side of his right eye. I couldn't stop staring, memorizing his features. This was Ethan.
Ethan fidgeted restlessly, reminding my brain to work on words. "You're beautiful..." the words just flew my mouth with no chance of retrieving them back and my face was burning a different kind of blush.
My nerves twisted over themselves, "I mean handsome..."
I think I was making it worse and that twitch on the side of Ethan's mouth wasn't helping.
I cleared my throat and breathed slowly through the craziness inside me, "What I'm trying to say is that, with or without shades you're perfect to me."
Definitely made it worse!
Ethan's fingers gently brushed against my arm up to my shoulder, sending a shiver through my body, he reached my neck then slid under my jaw line. His stopped when he had my chin between his fingers and edging my face closer to his.
A wide grin broke through his features as he whispered, "Come here..."
And our lips touched again.
Sigh!