it's so undeniable. My world still spins around him, or technically, my heart. A single message still sends me to cloud 9 with endless expectations, and I hate it.
I hate it so much; how i'm still a fool for him. How every word from him still reminds me of us, before. It's a fucking pity, only for me.
After months of thinking I've moved on, he suddenly sends me a message and everything comes back. It's not supposed to be this way!
I'd fancy to throw shade and curse him, but here I am, saying it's okay as he apologizes for before when in fact, just hearing the words from him hurt.
One thing I'm glad about is how he knew well how he destroyed me when he left me for my best friend, and he's sorry about it. I guess?
I loved him too much, and I thought that endearment was long gone.
Now, I've come to a realization that it never left, ever since the first time those feelings formed.
And until now, I'm still in the same place.
Still longing for what isn't to be longed for.
I guess I will never stop loving you, not because I want to, but because I can't.
To my first love,
Even if I hate to admit it, you will always have a place in my heart.