As if I could somehow find the words to explain what I feel.
Our emotions and feelings are blips and errors in this universe floating through space and coming back in nothing but a confusing mystery to the human race.
But we can try.
Blood pumping.
Lump in my throat.
Nose burning.
Heart clenching.
Breaths that hurt.
Eyes threatening to well with tears.
Am I sad?
Lonely?
Scared?
Empty?
I imagine life and everything in it.
Everyone in it.
Every experience we encounter, good bad beautiful...
Right now I feel like someone realizing that we are such a small thing in this universe, thinking about time and how everything we know will one day pass away.
Thinking about the best memories you ever had and how you felt in those moments. How you can never go back.
But then thinking about everything you could attain or loose in the future, and then still trying to find a way to live in the now. And ignore the searing pain of imagining what it would be like to loose him. The fear.
Life is so short and difficult and cold and beautiful. But it is a gift, that we need to use and accept.
God show me how.