The traffic from then on out was pretty bad, i found myself listening to the pod cast as Aizawa fell asleep on the arm rest, head half resting on my arm as well,
His hair was soft.
I couldn't help but wonder why he'd find my boney arms so comforatble.
Im not even sure he notcied his head was laying there.
His slow breaths were... cute- he seemed at peace for the time being.
I remember the first week i worked at UA. Aizawa avoided me a majority's worth of the time- but once we were on break- and he was asleep in Hizashi's lap.
At first i thought maybe they were a thing, but turns out Aizawa's got a talent for sleeping any where he feels safe.
Present Mic eventually had to go back to teach, so he placed Aizawa in my lap- at first the raven frowned at tensed but he soon found him self comfortable when i unflexed.
My heart felt warm then.
Even if Aizawa wasn't necessarily touching me through his sleeping bag at that time- his breaths were enough.
The fact he trusted my presence was enough...
Hizashi smiled at me "we've all been their man,"
Maybe it was because i found great comfort and pleasure in protecting others- or maybe it was just because it was Aizawa, and for anyone-trust from the guy is like a billion dollars, or even the greatest sunset veiw.
Just something amazing...
He felt safe in my arms.
And then the villian attack on the USJ ruined that for us both.
I remember saving him-
Watching him as the numo crushed him in shock- his hair... His body. And then his screams. It all hit me and reminded me of one event that i dare not think about.
Nana's death.
When i saw him i saw her- it's selfish, but i reacted so fast. A part of me wishing and hoping it was her, another part knowing the reality.
When i picked him up- his body limp in my arms, all i could think about was her, how she must have looked. It was only seconds but for me it felt like hours i stared at him, waiting... Im not so sure what i was waiting for. Maybe it was her- or maybe it was a sign of life, but he took in a breath and the moment was gone.
And my heart felt... Renewed?
Like he's a replacement.
And no matter how you veiw it- it's fucked up. I know- and trust me i relised and all my anger pent up as i put aizawa down- face down. I couldn't look at him,replacement... No. She could never be replaced-
Him.
No he'd never be better.
Eraser...
Aizawa.
Him.
i threw that Nomu into the sky- fuck that thing.
I threw it and as if it was all my worries and wrongs- left with the villains- one by one.
And all i could, and have ever thought about since is Aizawa- that moment.
He shouldn't have thanked me moments ago...
I wasn't being a hero for him- i did it for myself.
I did it. For myself.
Selfish- everything ive ever wanted to be- the hero id become was thrown away by one person, some one who ive only known existed for half my life- and i couldn't even tell you his favorite color,- but with that being said- i don't know Aizawa!- but i do?
I hated this situation. Its so confusing and... Stressful.
I pulled into a grocery store parking lot.
The truck julted and dinged as it was parked and then turned off,
Aizawa stirred just a little, he grabbed my arm in a hug and rested his head on it like a pillow.
Im still concerned a bit on how he finds that comfortable...
"Shouta...A-Aizawa"
I gently patted his rib cage for a bit- trying to wake him.
Then i got a crule idea.
I flexed- and once i did Aizawa jumped up- tired eyes were still dazed a bit from sleep.
He grumbled in displeasure before rubbing the sleep away with his hands- eyes adjusting to sudden light.
"Ha! Got you back,"
I smiled and puffed back down to my unflexed form.
He grumbled a bit in return, once i unflexed he moved closer to me once again.
It hurt me every time he did that...
I wish i could ask why he seemed so afriad towards me that way- it really bugs me. I hate this form, my weak one. Yet he likes it more than my "Almighty" form.
He's weird.
Him
Eraser
Aizawa.
Stop...
Weird.
That's what ill call him before i get into another confusing stress mind set.
"We're here Eraser, hey- do you think maybe we could see if the snack bar is open? I want to get something to thank midoria as well, maybe buy him a cake to share with his mother?"
Aizawa shrugged a bit
" am absolutely horrible with gifts- that's why i didn't want to go with you. The mere thought gives me anxiety and makes me want to curl up and die- so what ever is clever i guess, you know Midoria better any way, plus im sure he'd be greatful with litteraly anything as long as it's from you."
He seemed to notice he was rambling- and quietly apologized.
He seemed more nervous than me and he wasn't even buying the presents himself.
"Don't worry- im not very good at this stuff either. But, i guess i kinda have to now that half of it was a set up- not that im complaining. I'd have done this any way once i got off work... I thank you for joining me, it's a lot less lonley."
Aizawa smirked a bit.
"Lets just go inside, also why here of all places- the mall ought to be crowded. I hate crowded places."
I smiled and patted his shoulder.
"Oh common!- i am here for you, don't fear people Aizawa, its the same group of people you're used to saving after all."
He flinched at the touch of my hand for a moment. Then proceeded to get out of the truck.
"You smile to much," he murmured and slammed the door behind him, not in a rude way- or at least I'd hope not.
It's hard to tell if he's pissed or being himself.
Probably both...
I followed behind him, making sure i grabbed the keys and my wallet before locking the truck and going to where Aizawa stood- he was fidgeting with his scarf, looked like he was really hoping to not have to use it.
I haven't seen him use it much in battle for a while- me and him usually have the same night shift route, but until further notice aizawa was removed from my area down town because of his injuries at the USJ.
"You lead the way- i don't like having people follow me- it gives me anxiety."
I only hummed- i didn't want him to feel bad for having a disorder like that, if anything i only admire him more now. Hero work is a battle with bravery on its own- and Aizawa has anxiety, not an advantage yet he still manages.
That's survival at its finest- im not even sure I'd be able to do that.
"Okay, keep up though- i don't want to loose you-"
I chuckled, hoping to be resuring and not insulting.
But Aizawa didn't pay attention, he just followed.
"We should he'd to the third floor last- maybe grab some food for ourselves first?"
We walked in- immediately almost got trampled by a group of teens, Aizawa grabbed my arm in return- he really did not like that.
People.
"Aren't they supposed to be in school?"
He muttered as most of the teens laughed mockingly- ooh i oughta punch the shit out if some kids right now.
"Probably dumb drop outs- lets go shouta." I scolded in their direction,
I felt him let go of my arm, but every now and then i could feel his arm touch mine- he was staying pretty close.
Which felt comforting- he trusted me to some extent, which made me feel very good about myself ill admit. Then again it's bad to treat people like rewards- but... I dont know.
Confusing again.
Aizawa stop playing with my emotions im begging you.
"Here-"
I found an empty table in the food court, seemed to be pretty unbusy at the moment- every one was o the outsides of the large hall. Rushing to shop or meet up with friends.
"I can go order food for you if you're not comfortable with that-"
"Hey what makes you think i can't order for myself?"
Aizawa muttered and sat down- fidgeting with the scarf again.
"Oh- i, i didn't mean-"
He shrugged and cut me off.
"You're okay...and correct... I don't like talking to people, that would be nice of you- but i didn't bring in my wallet so i cant pay."
He mummbled, looking around at people yelling and arguing or the lights that banned across the food court, the mall was very pretty. A water fall/fountain in the middle, we had the table just at the end of the food court to look at it's beauty.
Christmas styled type of lights strung from the banesters- escelators were visible on the other side and you could see the stores open on the 2nd and 3rd
Plus we were right next to a candle store- and it smelt very nice.
I tried picking some where not too. loud for shouta, and the water fall worked magic. It drowned out most of the noise dispite being a bit far from us.
"I can pay for you Eraser- it's no big deal,-"
The raven shook his head frantically.
"Money doesn't come easy don't waste it on me- you need enough to buy gifts today- id feel bad... Plus im not realy hungry... And i don't like eatting in front of people-"
I put my hand on his shoulder.
"Hey it's okay- im Allmight after all, even if i don't like it, Money comes easy to me- i know it might not to you, and i swear its out of no pity, let me at least buy you a drink. Food isnt going to run me bank rupt either little Aizawa.
And by all means- i will never judge how you eat... I don't have much of a stomach any more- if any one should be judged it's me."
He shrugged and shook his head a little.
"I-im a picky eatter any way- i doubt I'd find anything of my interest, but... If you insist- where ever you get food from can you order me a medium Dr.pepper?...and hurry back... I don't like being alone in the center of a crowd- ill defend our seats until you get back."
I smiled down at him, he had his hands in little fist brought up to his face in excitment.
My...soul???
No what the hall toshi! Stop.
"Ha! I won't be long-"
I wondered back into the crowd of people- i thought it might have been best to find a food place near Aizawa so he could keep his eyes on me, make sure i wasn't gonna leave him or anything.
So i did just that. There was a good smelling Chinese stand, and had a small line- they didn't sell Dr.pepper though... I decided it be best to go some where else near by. I don't want Aizawa to notice that i had to go to another place to get him a Dr.pepper- he'd feel bad.
There was another fast food chain restraunt across from me, and i decided that be my best bet. I'll eat almost anything, so i don't mind trying to find a place where i can get Aizawa his order.
But this place seemed busy- but it'll have to do. Plus if im honest, it smells better than anything i could ever cook- and im an amazing cook!- i swear.
I'll have to cook for Aizawa and the others for a party or something, its a nice hobby- i enjoy it. But it's a shame no one can enjoy it with me.
I often find baking alone can be quite lonely, especially with no one to share the food with after.
But hey- its still enjoyable, even if ive found some one to settle down with- im not so sure id want it any other way. Ive never fallen in love unless you count nana, but that was never a lustful type. She was like a mother figure- ive never had the time for a relationship, Allmight can't have time for messing around with a loved one. And that is something i wished i thought of before i persuaded the hero career.
Maybe i will find some one who will love me no matter what- or to love me when i can't love myself...
It's like im lonely- but not.
I need some one, but lets be honest whos good enough? Who's not gonna hurt me?- loves a dangerous drug.
And we all get addicted- even just by the smell or the look of another couple we can become hooked in it's disire.
It pains me to see people happy with children and a family, makes me fear ill never have one.
And i guess its become a battle with time at this point, like i can't find love i waited to long- or wait some one will come.
There's no in between...
Love is confusing. And living a life confused isn't a life- its a damn maze or puzzle that you're never gonna complete.
Id rather make my own puzzle- you get me?
Hell Aizawa could have done better explaing.
My bad.
I chuckle to myself at the thought of him- and the relise im next in line- i decided to order a chicken nugget meal, just to tie me over. Plus i could share with Aizawa- they also had some good looking brownies, so i bought him one of those and one for me as well.
And of course- i got him a Dr.pepper- a large Dr.pepper at that, and i got myself the same thing.
I wanted to even it out so he didn't feel too horrible.
Plus ive never tried this drink before- sounded interesting.
I made my way back over to aizawa, he was texting some one on his cell phone and looked up only when i placed the large drink down- and ha! I was right he tensed up until he saw i got a large as well.
Not that it's like... A good thing i was right or anything, i dont know.
I was just happy i did good- we learned a lot about anxiety and ptsd in school for heros, sadly they dropped that class- a huge down in my book. Knowing that is madly important in hero work.
Ive been teaching it to midora for a while now- matter of fact he pointed out that Aizawa may have anxiety himself, and that he does for sure...
"Ah- here i thought you'd appreciate this, i didn't want to eat in front of you- thats impolite, so i bought you a brownie. If you don't like it you do not have to eat it, here you can also have some of these"
I pushed the box of chicken nuggets in the middle of us.
He looked very happy.
"I didn't know they had a chickfalay here now!- when we went to America for our senior year that's the place we stopped to eat at- do you remmeber? Endeavor choked on a chicken nugget and i had to save him,... Every one felt so bad for laughing. I'm surprised he didn't kill all of them..."
I slapped a hand to my face.
"Oh my gosh! I remmeber- i was the first to notice but i had no idea what to do, and then you came in- i guess i forgot about that trip,"
I smiled at the happy memory, dispite it being a very dangerous event. Every one was laughing afterwards.
Even Endeavor...
"This was the best food I'd ever eatten too!- i think about it sometimes.
I wonder if it's as good as i remmeber, if so we have to bring Hizashi back with us next time. He bought about twenty of those sandwiches and ate them all and still asked for my chicken nuggets."
Next time...?
He's having fun.
He wants to bring you back here toshi
Him.
Eraser.
Aizawa.
I smiled, "i think i gave him mine! I didn't try any thing that day i was to excited about the trip that if I'd eatten id probably puke... Especially with that long bus ride- it smelt like metal and i almost puked on Endeavor about 40 times... Sadly it rained the whole time we visited... But L.A Was still so beautiful."
Shouta giggled and picked up a chicken nugget.
"Here open-"
He put it up to my mouth and proceeded to feed me, i just did as i was told, watching him watch my espression.
It was really good.
I couldn't even speak for a moment.
I took a sip of the drink, that was only good as well.
Aizawa laughed again- i couldn't hide my excitment.
This was deffently the best fast food place id ever eatten from- im happy it found a place in our mall.
Once we were done eatting Eraser volunteered to throw away the trash, which i let him scince we were right next to it any way.
Plus he insisted, and i didn't want him to feel useless or anything the whole time- i needed to give him the freedom of taking care of things too.
"Let's get the flowers last and pick up a card or small cake first,"
I led Aizawa to the escalators- he seemed a bit nervous, people were stacked in a huge line to go up.
Escelators have been shut down and people were stuck on the 2nd floor- it didn't seem like any one was on the 3rd- lucky us, that's where we are heading.
"Ha!-"
I went around, taking his wrist so he wouldn't get lost, and cut around to the staff elevator- which was currently garded by A staff memeber, a lot of angry customers mad about the wait up to the second floor- demanding elevator access.
"Ah sorry i cant let you-"
Aizawa smiled up at me- caught along to the plan, he took out his hero badge- the worker looked up at me, and i obviously couldn't show him my allmight badge- so i coughed blood into my elbow- aizawa pretended to drag me around- 'saving me'-causing every one to back up in disgust and awe, Aizawa hit the button and the two elevator doors slid open.
We walked into the elevator, and watched the horrored faces as the doors shut slowly- and once they did we both roared in laughter.
"His FACE!- Yagi!- Did you see his face!"
I only nodded through my laughs as we sighed.
Yagi...
Cute.
The door opened up to the 3rd floor, unoccupied- all of the people must ve crowded on the 2nd and 1st floor just as i suspected.
Looks like the escalators were turned off for some reason, and the 3rd floor was barricaded.
"Ugh- thats going to be a shitty crowd to try and drive through later- we need to hurry up before they move to the parking lot and try to riot or something."
Aizawa Frowned, looking down at the crowded people.
"Agreed- if you wish i can pick out flowers and card while you pick out a cake, both are located in the same store we can meet back in line at the cash register."
He nodded, "okay- but again im horrible with gifts, what kind were you thinking?"
I though a moment.
"A vanilla one for sure, and if possible not a big one- preferably the size of four cup cakes mashed together."
Aizawa nodded- looked like he was going over that in his mind.
"If you need help come find me, im going to get a card first- they're right at the front, cakes are in the back."
Before we departed he looked at me a minute.
"How do you know where everything is?"
I chuckled a bit "this is where midoria works as a half time job!"
Aizawa smirked and we split up around the store- i made my way to the cards first, i found a nice pink one- plain so i could write anything i disired inside or on the front, i liked that idea better than stealing one that was already printed out- there wasn't any creativity in those cards.
I Got an envolope to put it in after scribbiling a large note, and drawing something that i hoped resembled a heart and flower. then headed to the front- Aizawa was already waiting next to the flowers with a small box in hand.
"Hey is this okay? They didn't have any vanilla,"
I looked at the cake- it too was pretty plain. Only vanilla frosting- but it was red velevet and not frosting touched the sides, you could see the layers of frosting in the cake.
"Even better- it's midoria's favorite, i didn't think they'd have it.- see you did good!"
Aizawa looked releaved.
He placed the stuff on the cashier stand while i looked for flowers in the stand right next to the cash redgister.
"What about these?"
Aizawa shook his head.
"Dont get her roses like that- those are holiday flowers- see"
He pointed to them
"It has mistletoe in it, ooh- get the purple pink colored ones-"
I looked at a big bouquet,
Perfect.
"Aizawa!- those are perfect!"
He squeezed himself and fiddled with his scarf.
"Thanks..."
A woman from the other side of the counter smiled at us.
"Are you ready?"
I Nodded and placed the flowers down gently, taking out my debt card to pay, and once we did we booked it for the elevator- trying our hardest to get out to the parking lot before others did.
We only made it only by a bit, i pulled the truck out of the busy parking lot and started on the road.
"Kirishima's is very close to us currently, lets go there first- take a left down that neighborhood, and keep straight."
I followed his instructions-
It was a pretty neighborhood, ill give it that.
"Tell me when to stop-"
"Uhh... Look for a 22 on the side of the houses."
I nodded, helping Aizawa search.
"Hey there- don't forget to flex up by the way."
I nodded again and parked the truck along the side of the road and followed aizawa up the side walk of a large brick house- pretty flowers bloomed along the sides- and it smelt like some one was cooking cookies.
Before Aizawa could knock a familiar red head opened the door with a teethy smile, his hair down.
"Hello Mr. Aizawa!"
He took the paper work from his teacher's hands- "hey Allmight!"
"Allmight!?"
A woman peered from behind the door, "oh! Goody goody!- you're both just in time. We got the email saying you'd show up soon from principal Nezu- I prepared cookies- would you like to come in?"
Aizawa shook his head as the woman gave me a tray of warm chocolateship cookies.
"I hate to take your food and leave, but we have to give midoria his work too Kirishima,"
The red head only smiled back.
"Of course!- my fathers sick currently, i know how it is- make sure you tell Deku my heart goes to him and his mother, you don't catch the flu either Mr.Aizawa!"
Aizawa smiled back as he said his goodbyes, we made our way back to the truck- i noticed Kirishima's mother fan girling and peeking out the blinds.
I smiled to her and nodded off- i saw the blinds close and made my way to the drivers side of the truck.
I pulled around the block before i unflexed.
Aizawa, again more comfortable.
He wasn't doing that weird thing girls do when they are mad- you know the turn their knees to the car door?
"She makes very good cookies allmight, kirishima brings them to the class every now and then."
I nodded,they smelt amazing- id habe to save some for the rest of the teachers once we get back.
"One more stop- and then we can make our way back to UA..."
I chimed back to Aizawa.
"How rude- not even going to bother paying me back for gas money?"
I blushed a bit,
"I-i uh,"
"Jesus allmight im kidding- but no seriously we should get gas on our way back if you dont mind, ill pay."
I felt embarrassed, i should have thought about that! I feel bad now for wasting aizawa's gas.
Also...
I am gonna pay.
"Hey were too?"
Aizawa chuckled.
"You know midoras favorite type of cake but not his address?"
I smiled.
"Touche- i can find my way, i just need help out of this neigborhood..."
Aizawa nodded a bit and pulled up a CPS for me,
Midoria's house we go.
.....
TBC