After my mom leaves I go back to the dorm. I walk in not expecting anyone else to be there. I thought everyone would be out with their own families or families of their new friends. But there Liam is sitting on his bed, staring at the space on the wall where the chalkboard usually is. Four took it down yesterday so he could calculate our stage one rankings.
"Hey, what are you doing in here?" I ask and his head snaps towards me. "Your parents are out in the pit looking for you. Did you ever find them?"
He shakes his head. I sit down next to him on the bed. I'm dwarfed by Liam's large size, my leg is half the width of his. He has on a pair of black shorts, letting me see his knee with a purple-blue bruise with a scar running through the middle of it.
"You didn't want to see them?" I ask him.
"Didn't want them to ask how I was doing," Liam says. "I'd have to tell them, and they would know if I was lying."
"Well... you could just tell them you are doing much better now then when you first transferred. That wouldn't be a total lie." He laughs at my poor excuse."What's wrong with how you're doing?" I ask because I'm genuinely confused. He hasn't lost a single fight.
Liam laughs again, but answers this time. "Sure I've won every fight but I don't feel like myself. I feel like a different person when I step out onto the mat. I would even go as far as to compare myself to Eric. The way he enjoys watching us beat the tar out of each other. I feel the same way when I win. "
"Yeah but we're no longer going to have to fight. After this you won't have to feel this way. You won't have to fight anyone unless they deserve to get beaten up," I remind him.
He smiles at me a little, I can tell he's thinking through what I just said. He shakes his head. "I still don't want to see my parents. I don't want to lose everything you've helped me work towards. If I go out there and see them it's like I'm back at square one, like I'm back to the first day of initiation."
I nod at him. We sit side-by-side for a while. It's better to be here, in silence, then in the Pit, watching everyone laugh with their families. My father used to say that sometimes, the best way to cheer someone up is just to be near them. I feel good when I do something I know he would be proud of, it makes me feel close to him.
"I feel braver when I'm around you, you know," Liam says. "Like I could actually fit in here, the same way you do."
I'm about to respond when he slides his arm across my shoulders. "As long as you stick with me you will always have a place in Dauntless." I laugh.
Liam laughs along with me. "You really are my best friend here," Liam confides in me.
"And you are mine," I tell him truthfully.
Liam and I sit and talk about our old faction, but I don't mention my brother or father. We talk until it's dinner time. At dinner our final rankings for stage one is all anyone will talk about. I'm curious as to who'll be first. I think I should be in the top three along with Liam and Charlie. We all won our fights, and are all comparable when it comes to knife throwing and shooting guns. Honestly I'm worried about Olivia; she only won a single fight. She has good technique but when it comes time to use it in an actual fight she can't do it. Her aim is good but not the best. I think she'll make the cut. I just hope that if she does she can jump up a few spots in the second stage.
At dinner I sit with Olivia, Calum, and Liam at a table in the corner.
"You weren't allowed to have pets?" Olivia demands, smacking the table with her palm, "Why not?"
"Because they're illogical," Calum says matter-of-factly. "What is the point in providing food and shelter for an animal that just soils your furniture, makes your home smell bad, and ultimately dies?"
Liam and I meet eyes, like we usually do when Calum and Olivia start to fight. We both smile at each other.
I speak up, "I'm with Olivia on this one. I always had multiple dogs as pets. Little dogs, the size you can pick up. When I was really young I would hold them like they were my babies. Don't make fun of the Amity here, but it was like they were family."
"Yes. Thank you Em you get it," Olivia shouts.
"Of course the Amity gets it, no offense Em," Calum says, agitated that I took Olivia's side.
"Well, they're fun to have. I had a bulldog named Chunker. One time we left a whole roasted chicken on the counter to cool, and while my mother went to the bathroom, he pulled it down off the counter and ate it, bones and skin and all. We laughed so hard," Olivia says.
"Yes, that certainly changes my mind. Of course I want to live with an animal that eats all my food and destroys my kitchen." Calum shakes his head.
"Why don't you just get a dog after initiation if you're feeling that nostalgic?" Liam asks.
"Because." Olivia's smile falls, and she pokes at her potato with her fork. "Dogs are sort of ruined for me. After... you know, after the aptitude test."
We exchange looks. We all know that we aren't supposed to talk about the test, not even now that we have chosen, but for them that rule must not be as serious as it is for me.
"You mean... killing the dog, right?" Liam asks.
"Yeah," Olivia says. "I mean, you guys all had to do that too, right?" She looks first at Liam, and then at me.
"Try being scared of big dogs like that. I took the cheese and threw it as far away from me as possible," I say.
They all look at me a little shocked.
"How did you get Dauntless without using the knife?" asks Calum, narrowing his eyes at me.
"I didn't. I got Amity," I tell them.
"But you chose Dauntless anyway?" Olivia asks. "Why?"
"I didn't like Amity. I felt like I was always forced to be happy. I just wanted a new start," I say truthfully.
After dinner we head back to the dormitory. I practically drag Liam the whole way back. I want to know where we all ranked. I want to know who's getting cut. At the door to the dormitory, Mikey shoves me into the wall to get past me. My shoulder scrapes on the stone, but I keep walking. Tonight is not the night for me to start with him. I'm too short to see over the crowd of initiates standing near the back of the room, but when I find a space between heads to look through, I see that the blackboard is on the ground, leaning against Four's legs, facing away from us. He stands with a piece of chalk in one hand.
"For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," Four says. "After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for improving and more points for beating someone of a high skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice. If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent." There is so much tension in the room you could cut it with a knife. Everyone just wants Four to shut up and show us the rankings. "Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice," Four says. "That said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one." I look at Four and his eyes meet mine. I give him a bored look hoping he will wrap up his speech. "We will announce the cuts tomorrow," Four says. "The fact that you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. That said, here are your ranks."
He hangs the board on the hook and steps back so we can see the rankings:
1. Charlie
2. Em
3. Liam
4. Scott
5. Calum
6. Shannon
7. Mikey
8. Olivia
9. Amy
I can't help but let out a quiet laugh, not only am I ranked above Scott, so is Liam. Olivia isn't dead last, but unless the Dauntless-born initiates completely failed their version of stage one of initiation, she is factionless. I glance at Olivia. She looks distraught, like she can't believe what she is seeing. She isn't the only one. The quiet in the room is uneasy, like it's rocking back and forth on a ledge. Then it falls.
"What?" Scott demands. He points at Me. "How the hell is she ranked above me?"
"Cause I beat you in a fight, as well as everyone else I fought. I also have way better aim than you. So get over yourself, you're not the best one in the room and now you know it,"I say, crossing my arms.
"She's completely right Scott. You didn't perform as well as Em, or Charlie, or Liam," Four says, his voice cutting through the mutters and grumbles of the other initiates. He pockets the chalk and walks past me planting his hand on my shoulder, "Keep up the good work," he says and is out the door.
Once Four is out the door Scott feels the need to start at me again. "You," he says. "You are going to pay for this."
Part of me expects him to try and fight me right here right now. Instead he just stomps out of the dorm with his minions following him.
Calum and Liam slap hands, and then Liam claps me on the back with a hand bigger than my shoulder blade.
"Look at you. Number two," he says, grinning.
"Look at you. Number three" I remind him.
"We should celebrate!" Calum shouts.
"Well, let's go, then," I say, grabbing Liam's arm with one hand and Calum's arm with the other. "Come on, Olivia. You don't know how the Dauntless-borns did. You don't know anything for sure."
"I'm just going to go to bed," she mumbles.