I am now leaving behind the four most intense weeks I have ever, ever had. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Somehow that saying made sense to me for the first time. Sleep. Just let me sleep so I don't have to think. Of course, I was forgetting that with sleep, often comes dreams...
"Mark!"
"Goober-Model!"
We run to each other and embrace. He spins me around.
"I missed you so much!"
I'm smiling so big it hurts my face. He grabs my bags. "Whaddaya got in here? Marbles?"
"Souvineirs for everyone!"
"They outta love you for that!" That sounded familiar.
We walked to the car and he threw my bags in back and then sat down in the front. "You getting in?" Silly of me, expecting him to open the door for me. I forgot how spoilt I was.
"I have a surprise for you. We have to make a special stop." He says.
We drive for about 20 minutes, then he turns into the driveway of a really nice hotel. He checks us in.
"What are we doing, Mark?" I'm still really curious as to what his surprise is.
He takes my hand excitedly. "Come on!"
We run, laughing and giggling like school children to a room at the very end of the hall, next to a big window overlooking the ocean. He opens the door and the windows of the room also overlook the ocean. "Wow, Mark. Isn't the ocean beautiful."
"Yes. It is. Surprise!"
I turn around and he's naked, and I'm naked, and he's pushed me on the bed. He starts kissing me urgently. "I've been waiting so long...It's been so hard..." I freak out, cuz I look and it's Mark, but he's got dreadlocks?!
I wake up with a start. The person sitting next to me tries to ignore me. "Sorry. Bad dream." I fade back to sleep.
Mark is waiting at the airport for me. He looks drained. "Hey baby."
"Hey. You look exhausted." And he really did. Dark bags under his eyes, and he looked like he lost weight. He barely was able to pick up my bags. He walked us to his car and put the bags in the back, then opened the door for me. We drive home mostly in silence. "Would you like me to drive?"
"No, no, I'm fine."
We get to my apartment and as I get out of the car a baby bottle rolls out. "Oh, could you grab that." He says.
Surprisingly he opens the door, unlocked. Suddenly several children are heard in the living room, fighting and crying. A woman walks up and says to Mark, "You're late, that'll be twenty extra dollars." She looks at me somewhat evilly and I realize its Emily. "Especially for YOUR kids." She walks out laughing.
"Guys! Your mom's home!"
"MOM! What's for dinner???"
I open my eyes again. That was freaky. Oh good, we should be landing soon. I go to the bathroom and check myself. I go through my purse for some lipstick and a little mascara. I fix my hair. I go back to my seat, and the seat belt light goes on. "Perfect timing!" I say to the lady next to me, who smiles and agrees. I am excited to see Mark. I can't believe after what I just put him through, that he still loves me. I realize how blessed I am, and I thank God for him. We land and I'm shaking with excitement. I try to look over the shoulders of the people in front of me to see him waiting. He shouldn't be hard to find, with his unruly dark hair and being a head and shoulders taller than the average bear. Finally I am free from the shuffling herd and I look around anxiously. I don't see him. I check my phone for messages. Nothing. I check the board. Did I give him the right number? Maybe he hit traffic. I am back in LA, after all. I sit down and wait. The crowd thins. I watch admiringly as a couple find each other and embrace. And I wait some more. I curl up on the seat and fall asleep. Maybe he changed his mind? I wouldn't blame him...
"Ma'am?" Someone was trying to wake me up. "Ma'am, would you like your dinner?"
What the? Why is someone in the airport asking me...wait, where's Mark?? I woke up scared and I was being confronted by a stewardess, smiling. I was still in my seat, in the airplane. It was another dream. "Oh my God. Yeah, dinners fine, thank you." No more sleeping for me.
I spent the next couple hours flipping through the stupid catalogues of stuff I'll never buy and watching 'Twilight' for the umpteenth time, marveling at the seeming perfection of a love that could be eternal. At the same time I couldn't help but grimace at the thought of living like a vampire...uck. It's kind of eerie, really. I mean, I have my own Edward, in Mark, who can read my mind. Hmpf. Maybe I should ask Mark if he's a vampire? I laughed to myself at the ridiculousness of the thought. The lady next to me looked away nervously. Poor thing. She must think I'm psycho! Finally the seat belt light comes on!!! I ran to the bathroom really quick. I checked myself for sunspikes, the works. I realized that, unlike in my dream, I do not have a purse of makeup. A good sign that it's for real this time. I went back to my seat and put my seat belt on and looked around me for any other signs that I might be dreaming again. I decided asking my friend next to me would be a good barometer. "Am I awake?" I ask. She looks away quickly. Good. Cuz if she had started talking to me, I would definitely have assumed I was dreaming again!
I love landing in an airplane, there's a certain rush that comes with it when I hear the sound of the tires hitting the runway. It brings to reality the velocity with which we were just traveling in the air, hundreds of feet above the ground. That's one thing that has eluded my understanding. Flying. Air under the wings, yada yada. If you blow under my tummy, it doesn't make me fly! It might tickle me though. I giggled to myself again. The lady next to me got up to get her bags before the seat belt light was even off. As much as I'm itching see Mark, I hate trying to elbow my way through the crowd of people rushing to get off the plane, so I waited till the plane was almost empty. Of course, Mark might be nervous that maybe I changed my mind. Heck, Sasha almost changed it for me. That was scary. I finally decide it's empty enough to get my bags out of the overhead compartment and head out.
I stood up and a man from a few rows back stepped in close to me, "Let me get those for you..." I started to decline his offer, and then turned to see it was Mark. He smiled a smile of revelation.
"You...were you on the plane?" And then it dawned on me even further... "You never left Austrailia, did you??"
"I couldn't leave you...not again...I had to stay close to you to keep you safe."
"That was you in the terminal, wasn't it?"
He didn't say anything as he took down my bags and kissed me softly on the cheek. "Lets get out of here."
Once we made our way through the departing crowd I was overwhelmed with the reality of him being with me. I stopped and held back his arm. His eyes questioned me. "I can't believe you're here..." I hugged him; his big beautiful chest was so warm and comfortable. I looked up at him through my disheveled hair, "Take me home...?"
"That's what I'm here for."
He grabbed my bags, and I waited for the comment about the weight, but he said nothing. This is real. It's not another creepy bad dream. I grabbed the lighter bag from him and he looked at me as to why. I wanted to hold his hand. He just smiled again. He put my bags in the back of the car. "Do you want to drive?"
I thought about it for a second. "No. That's ok. I want to cuddle up to you, while you drive." And that's what I did. He held me very close as we approached the apartment – which he had to unlock. Another sign it wasn't a dream, cuz he was the last one in it. He sat me on my bed gently.
"Ok, let me get a good look at you, now that we're home."
"Well, am I all here?" I smiled, with droopy eyes.
"I don't know, that's always debatable..." he said with a loving smirk.
My heart was so swollen it felt like it was gonna explode. "Oh Markie." And I, of course, started crying.
Mark looked at his watch. "Well, you made it twenty four minutes and seventeen seconds..." He kissed me and after removing my shoes covered me with my blankets and went and got my two bags. He dropped them on the bedroom floor with a 'thunk-thunk'!
"Souveniers?"
I was still drowsy, so all I could do was laugh.
"Did ya have a little nip on the plane? You seem a bit loopy!" he started to unpack my bags for me.
"Chh. As if." I yawned. "I'm just tired because everytime I fell asleep I kept having psychotic dreams."
"Why don't you sleep more. I've got the rest of the week off. I'll be here to look after you, K?"
"K....Markie?"
He loved it when I called him that. "Yeah bubba."
"Hmmm." I was fading in and out of consciousness.
He laughed and came closer. He whispered, "We're you saying something?"
"Hm? Uh, yeah...why do you love me?"
He was silent for a moment. "Because God told me to."
I scrunched my eyes together and pursed my lips... "That's a weird answer..." and I faded off to sleep.
When I woke up the first time, it was still dark. I checked my clock and saw that it was only four AM. I might've been up and about in Australia or Japan. Funny. I rolled over on to my back, awake enough to stay awake if I wanted to, but tired enough to go back to sleep as well. I decided a potty break and some water would be a start. I put on my fuzzy robe and slippers, took care of bathroom niceties, and padded quietly through the living room into the kitchen. Then I saw Mark on the couch. I noticed he had prepared to sleep over. He had a pillow and a blanket, and he actually had PJ's on. And a pair of slippers next to the couch. I smiled.
He stirred. "You ok?" he asked in a soft sweet voice.
I whispered back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm fine. Just out of whack with my sleeping schedule. Came out to get some water...I didn't...I wasn't sure you'd still be here..."
"Yeah," He sat up, "I hope it's ok?"
I laughed a little, "Of course, silly."
He was quiet for a moment. "Ok. Good...thanks."
We stayed in silence.
"Hey goober-model..."
"What?"
"Weren't you going to do something?"
I laughed, the whisper mode now gone. "How can I when I have a greek god sleeping on my couch. It's awfully distracting, you know..."
"Alright, you. Get your water and go back to bed."
"Yes sir, Mr. bossy."
I shuffled into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "You want one?"
"Sure, thanks."
I brought it over to him and wiggled my way to squeeze between him and the end of the couch. "I'm not tired."
"You have to force yourself to get back on your normal sleeping patterns. If I remember right, getting up before eleven am is not normal for you."
"I'm not that bad!"
"Oh, come on miss night owl. The only reason you get up in the morning is because you have to. And besides, you might not be tired but I am!"
"Ooh, I'm sorry. Go back to sleep, I'll go..." I touched his shoulder gently, and he put his hand on mine. We lingered for a moment.
My voice came in a breath... "I missed you..."
"I know..." he said, just as quietly.
I got up and went into my room, but all I could think about was wanting to be near him. I sat down on my bed for a few quiet moments and drank some water. Then I took a determined breath and, like a little girl, grabbed my blankets and pillow and dragged them all out to the living room. He seemed to sleep heavy for being a policeman, you'd think he'd be more alert! I made myself a little bed on the floor right next to the couch. I felt much better. Just as I began to fade off, I felt his hand brushing my face, and he spoke ever so quietly, "What are you doing, silly Bubba?"
"I just need to be near you..." I held his hand on my face and smiled dreamily, and sleep came peacefully again.