❝Without her, I would have nothing to fight for.❞
TIME DOESN'T SEEM to pass. One moment, Ria is reaching out for Ashton. The next, he is running his fingers through her hair, staring down at her with worry veiled across his ocean eyes.
"Hey," he speaks gently when he notices her lashes flutter. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?"
Her head rests on his lap. She shifts around, realizing she's lying on a sofa in the living room. Ashton places a cool hand against her forehead while running his finger down the curve of her jaw.
"I-I think so." Blinking slowly, she tries to asses her condition, feeling nothing out of the ordinary. "I don't know why I passed out. I just felt...weak all of a sudden." She holds her stomach subconsciously.
"Should I call an ambulance? Are you dehydrated? Did you eat all of your breakfast this morning? Do you need water?" Ashton lifts his attention to Daniel who hovers over them next to the sofa. "Go get her some water."
Daniel narrows his eyes but obeys in silence.
Ria attempts to sit up but Ashton shakes his head and urges her to lie back down. "You just passed out, Ria. I'm not about to let you get up."
"I'm sure I'm fine," she insists. "I just felt faint."
"That's not something that just happens to people without a reason." Concern etches itself across his face, pulling down his handsome features. He speaks with enough emotion to bloom warmth within her.
"I know some reasons why a woman might faint," Daniel announces almost accusingly as he returns with a glass of water.
"I didn't ask you a damn thing," Ashton chides and snatches the glass, nearly spilling the contents.
Ria sits up slightly and slips it from his fingers. She tips the edge to her lips, letting the cool liquid slide down her parched throat. Waves of relief spread across her being. As she drinks, her gaze slides to Daniel from over the edge of the glass.
His sights are locked on hers knowingly. Despite the cruel things he's done, he doesn't seem to be remorseful for his actions. In some odd way, she thinks Daniel feels justified for the way he's controlled Ashton's life. Those eyes that stare at her so intently, she wonders if he thinks she's in the way as well. Did he plot our downfall? His gaze is so intense her skin begins to itch. She can only fathom what he's thinking and why his eyes bore into hers with such relentlessness.
Then his gaze slides to her hand lying over her stomach.
For a moment, she wonders why. Daniel hasn't been too vocal about the fact that she lost Ashton's child. She hesitates, rethinking the words he just led with. ...reasons why a woman would faint.
Ria nearly drops her glass.
Ashton catches it from her weak fingers and frowns. "Whoa there. Are you sure you're okay? I'm about one second away from taking you to the E.R."
"Y-yeah. I'm fine." She lies back on his lap and presses both hands to her stomach.
Could it be? It's nearly been a month. Were we that lucky?
She bites her bottom lip to keep from smiling as an invigorating feeling washes over her soul.
Now isn't the time.
But she's excited about the thought. To be able to experience this the right way. To be able to create life with her body and to bring it into the world. To give Ashton the greatest gift of all. She wants this. She wants it so bad.
Ashton watches her curiously as if he can see the outlines of her timid smile. He brushes his thumb along her bottom lip and tilts his head to the side. "Are you sure you're okay?" he murmurs.
She slips her fingers over his wrist and kisses the palm of his hand. "I am more than fine."
"Okay." He attempts to smile even if it only lasts for the briefest moment. He lifts his gaze to Daniel who has his arms folded and eyes sealed to Ria. "You're done being useful. You can go."
"What happened to your dad?" Daniel asks instead.
"None of your business. Get. Out."
Daniel huffs and places his hands heavily on the back of the sofa. "I know you hate me for what happened to Vivian. I get it. I'll never be sorry for trying to save you, Ashton. You're my best friend. If that means I have to do things in order to protect you-"
"You weren't protecting me," Ashton snaps. Ria grabs his hand, trying to soothe him as he continues to yell. "You've been manipulating me for years. Controlling me for what you think is right."
Still, Daniel is unmoving, expression hard and unafraid. "You made it this far because of me."
Ashton flinches and his tense expression falters with a barrage of sudden emotions. He looks down before bringing his gaze right back up as if he never wavered. "Sacrificing other people...we don't do that, Daniel. That's not how friendships work. The fact that you don't even care is not human."
Daniel remains stony and unphased. Ria knows he isn't hiding any emotions. It's like he doesn't feel them unless he wants to. The way he acts so justified in destroying Vivian's life without flinching from the truth of what she's gone through. How he can so easily manipulate Ashton for years and pass it off as helping him.
The doorbell chimes throughout the house, peeling away the tense atmosphere.
"That should be Dea and Sophia," Ashton mumbles. "Get the door, Daniel."
Daniel narrows his eyes and grumbles something inaudible under his breath but disappears around the corner.
With him gone, Ria takes Ashton's hand and places it against her abdomen. She smiles to herself and caresses the back of his smooth skin.
"Does it hurt?" he asks softly, staring at their joined hands. "The scar?"
"No. Nothing hurts."
I really hope you're a father.
"You know," Ria continues, "the anniversary of the night we met is in a few days. We should celebrate being together for a year."
"Give or take a small bump along the way," he attempts to joke and even manages to pull his lips into a smirk.
"That bump was insignificant. If anything, it made us stronger and helped us realize just how important we are to each other." She smiles and leans into his hand as he strokes the side of her face. "We were meant to be together, Ashton."
"Maybe." He runs his thumb along her cheek. "Maybe I just got really lucky and managed to pluck an angel out of heaven."
She giggles. "I'm not an angel."
His smile saddens and heartache translates into his beautiful eyes. "You're my angel, Ria. I-"
"Ashton?" Dea's exasperated voice slices the atmosphere as she rushes into the living room. Her cheeks and nose are tinged red and eyes wide with concern. "How are you?" Her gaze falls to Ria on his lap and widens even more. "Ria? A-are you okay?"
Sophia's panic follows as she enters a second later. Her royal blue gaze pierces Ria's and she rushes into the room and nearly bumps Dea out of the way to kneel next to her in front of the sofa. "Are you okay, babe? What happened?"
"She fainted," Ashton answers. "I guess she was a little light-headed."
Dea's gaze immediately slides to Ria's stomach where she still has Ashton's hand placed over. Her mocha eyes lift to Ria's face and a question lies there in her silence.
"Have you stopped eating again?" Sophia touches Ria's forehead with delicacy. "You really need to take better care of yourself."
"I'm fine," she reassures.
"Where's a Jared when we need one?" Sophia jokes though it's half-hearted. Almost empty.
The sadness in her eyes, loneliness in her words, it reaches Ria. Despite having Dea, Jared was Sophia's best friend as much as he was Ria's. Maybe even a little more. Once upon a time, they were in love. They created music together. Spent years as roommates. She wonders if they talk as often as they used to over this long distance.
"So," Dea begins tenderly, bringing the attention back to her, she rises and places a manicured hand on Ashton's shoulder. "What happened to your father?"
"Drug overdose," he responds as if he were recalling a complete stranger's death. "He's right there, actually."
Everyone turns to see the urn resting over the grand fireplace several feet away. The sight of the elegant container crafted from silver breeds unease in Ria's chest. Ashton's father is sitting right there and it doesn't affect him.
If that was her mother or father, she'd be devastated beyond repair.
"Charlotte had him cremated," he explains.
"I would say sorry," Dea mutters, "but I know he means nothing to you. So, I'm sorry you have to back in this place."
"We're all sorry," Daniel's deep voice returns, reminding everyone of his unwanted presence.
Dea stabs him with a venomous glare. "Dan, I didn't tell you about this so you could come here and disrupt things. I told you because I thought you deserved to know."
His stony expression shifts, almost like he's hurt by his sister's anger. "I can support my friend if I want, Dea. You can't possibly expect me to sit back and do nothing."
"That's exactly what I expect." Her accent thickens around her harsh tone. She pulls at the folds of her cardigan and huffs. "We still have a lot to discuss, Dan. It'd be better if you left."
"You're not my mother, Dea. You can stop acting like one."
Scarlet rage boils across her olive complexion and she folds her arms. "I don't want to be your mother. I want to be your big sister. You know we're the outcasts in our family. We only have each other. You and I need to have an honest discussion about your actions in order for our relationship to continue."
Ria sits up slowly, taking in Dea's hostile position. It actually seems to work on Daniel. Regret shifts across his face almost as if he honestly cares about his sister's opinion.
"Don't make me leave. I only did what was best for him."
"What you thought was best for me," Ashton corrects.
"Either way, you're alive and well, aren't you?"
"Fuck. You." Ashton stands up abruptly and closes the space between them faster than Ria's eyes can follow. "You knew I loved Vivian. You knew she meant the world to me and you plotted to tear us apart. How do I know you didn't do the exact same thing to Ria and I?" He jabs his finger into Daniel's chest, making him stumble back. "You think you saved me? Daniel, I'm not saved. I fucking hate myself and blame myself for everything that's happened to Vivian every single day. I loved her and then you taught me not to love anyone. You have ruined the only good part of myself. I am lucky that Ria came into my life because without her, I would have nothing to fight for."
His words resonate around the room but his grief shatters the walls around Ria's heart. She always knew Ashton was hurting. From the day she met him, she felt a certain sadness in his eyes. Grief. Loneliness. There's so much hate in Ashton's heart. Not just for Vincent or his family, but for himself.
He hates himself. He thinks Ria is his only purpose for living.
She blinks back tears and rips her gaze away from the scene. He doesn't even value himself.
"Look," Sophia speaks up while approaching the two men without haste. "The last thing we need is you two breaking out into a fight." Her hand hovers to touch Ashton's arm. She hesitates for a fraction of a second before resting it there. "I um- I think you should go, Daniel. Ashton needs to think clearly about his situation."
Ria simpers at her friend. Even if things are still odd and foreign between them, the genuine effort she's making to support Ashton brings tears to her eyes.
Daniel sneers at Sophia. "I don't listen to you."
"Daniel Rodrigo Alessandro," Dea snaps, "get out."
His nostrils flare and he raises his blazing eyes to his sister. "Fine. I'll go. When you guys need me again, don't expect me to be so willing."
"I will never need you again," Ashton spits.
"Say that the next time you're lying dead on the bathroom floor because you're too depressed to deal with life." Daniel gathers himself and stalks out of the room.
Everyone is frozen along with the chambers around Ria's heart. Her chest aches. Everything aches.
"I can't believe he would say that," Sophia whispers.
"I would," Dea grumbles. "He's a real bastard sometimes."
Ashton grabs at his hair and visibly shakes. Ria scrambles to her feet expecting his tears. When she gets to his side, it turns out he's simply laughing. Though she knows that's so much worse. When Ashton laughs like this, she knows he's only trying to mask just how devastated he feels.
"I can't believe I thought he was my brother," he rasps.
"Ashton..." She places a hand on his quivering back.
He chuckles and stands up straight. "I don't care. I don't need him. He's done nothing but ruin me. I'm going to set everything straight soon."
Ashton doesn't look at her as he paces back into the living room. His hands are fidgeting at his sides and his eyes are dancing across the many surfaces of the room, glazing over as if trying to avoid harsh memories.
Sophia slips her fingers into Ria's hand and looks up at her. "He's really got a lot going on," she whispers.
"I know. That's why I think it's important that he has a family."
Sophia sighs and her gaze softens. "I know. I want to try...am trying." She huffs and rubs her neck while looking down with timidity.
"What are you thinking about?" Ria whispers and squeezes her slender fingers.
"Is she...is she here?" Sophia looks up suddenly. Stray hairs fall over her fearful eyes.
Ria's chest constricts at the pure desperation on her face. "She's here. She's afraid of seeing you."
"That's fine." Sophia pretends to smile and looks straight ahead. "I don't need her anyway. I already have my family."
This makes Ria smile — despite her disbelief — and she stands a little closer to her friend. "You do."
"We will talk to her," Ashton grumbles. "Both of our parents. Right now isn't the time, but we'll be addressing them sooner than later."
"Okay." Sophia bobs her head and entangles her fingers in front of her. "I-I think we should."
"So what should we do about your dad?" Dea inquires after a moment of silence and places a hand on Ashton's shoulder.
He shrugs with indifference, finally calming down. "I'm only here for my mom. I could care less about what happened to him."
Sophia stiffens at the mention of their mother but remains silent.
"I also have a very valid suspicion that Vincent was behind my father's death. He's trying to draw me out."
"How do you know this?" Dea cocks her head to the side.
He doesn't but...
"Maybe I can find out?" Ria offers. "Vincent trusts me."
"Absolutely not," Ashton says without hesitation.
Dea and Sophia declare, "No," in unision.
Ria swallows her nerves and folds her arms in defiance. "Vincent trusts me. Camilla trusts me. I've already been welcomed into his home. I can figure some things out."
"Or you could end up being in captivity," Ashton insists.
"Murdered," Sophia adds.
"Or both," Dea fumbles for something else to say.
"I appreciate your concern, but you can't tell me what to do," Ria says softly. "I'm an adult and will make my own decisions. Vincent expects to be working with me anyway. Sooner or later I will have to see him."
Ashton's jaw tightens and he stares at her with wars waging in his mind. His inner battle is fiery and evident. "You shouldn't be mixed up in this," he mumbles.
"I know," Ria whispers, "but I am."
"I don't want you to get hurt. Vincent is dangerous."
"Ashton." Ria touches her stomach. "I know. If we're going to be together, we're going to be a team. You're not going to make all of the sacrifices and decisions anymore. I'm going to see him. End of story."
His gaze falls to where her hand hovers over her stomach and he shakes his head. He's doing it again. Punishing himself for the attack. She wishes he would stop. Wishes he would realize that she made the decision to be with him even after she found out about his past.
Ria will embrace all of Ashton. His flaws and perfections. She'll never regret this decision for a moment.
"Fine." He rubs his face, suddenly looking extremely tired. "You can see him, but if you don't communicate with me within an hour after you do, I will be kicking down his front door."
She smiles. "I know, Ashton."
He nods stiffly and groans. "I wish we could just take him out of my life already."
Sophia scrunches her lips and looks between them. "I don't know much about the mafia or anything, but can't you guys just find some dirt on this guy and turn him in?"
"I was planning on doing that," Ria admits. "But I made a deal with Camilla, his lover, not to."
"And what did she give you in return?" Dea inquires, eyeing Ria with near suspicion.
"Nothing," she blurts. "I mean, she promised to keep us safe."
And she helped me create life with Ashton again.
"So far, she's kept her end of the bargain. She's helped us." Ria licks her dry lips. "I think we can trust her and use her to win this fight with Vincent...without violence."
"Everything is violent in this part of the world, Ria," Ashton says. He shakes his head and there's a hint of rage, no, death in his eyes that were once so gentle. "When we fail to work things out with him, I'm going to make sure he ends up in the ground where he belongs."
Fear strikes Ria's heart, realizing that no matter how hard she tries, those words might come true.
Soooo Ria thinks she's pregnant 🙃
Dea sister snapped on Daniel!
We've gotten a really good look into Ashton's mind and his depression really coming in. Without using drugs as a crutch to forget his past, it's finally catching up to him.
*sighs* my poor babies.
-bri💕