" Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent. "
-Bob Keeshan
Silence filled the room; Caressing their skin as the man's words just escaped his plump lips. Several minutes filled with their hot breath, unmatched heartbeats, and mysterious thoughts.
The silence was as deadly as it prepared before a bomb.
" ...It's all started when Hoseok found his mother. " Said the man as he stared at Yoongi's expression to test his reaction.
He was carefully listening to him.
He carried on, " Hoseok was an orphan. He lived in an orphanage near our neighborhood. However, since he entered high school, he started to look for his parents. But that was without us knowing. Not even Sora knew, even though those two would always tell each other everything. From that day on, Hoseok had distanced himself away from us. This odd behavior of his had an enormous impact on Sora and on the others. "
Seokjin paused as he was pondering over his old friend's actions.
" Slowly, each one of us started to get eaten by our own demons without telling others, and that completely destroyed our friendship. "
Yoongi nodded and tried to take all the information in.
" So, Hoseok looked for his parents and got too deep into it. To the point of forgetting his own friends and himself? " He asked to make sure he understood well.
He sighed, " So close, yet so far. I wouldn't completely turn it like that since our story is far more complicated. " Stated Jin.
The black-haired male frowned, " How so? "
" Well, I can't tell you on his behalf what happened exactly from then and how he felt, so I better show it to you. " The tall man got up from his seat, leaving a confused Yoongi behind.
He walked to his room, opened a drawer, and took out a notebook. He then took his seat back, opposing the hybrid.
" Here. " Said Jin while placing the mysterious notebook in front of Yoongi. It was plain black with two white straps in the middle.
" What is this? " Asked the wolf before glancing at the man then back at the notebook.
" Hoseok's personal journal. " Jin replied, " Inside, you can find almost all the answers you are seeking for. " He stated while his eyes were glued on the notebook.
" If this is really his, why do you have it in your possession? " Asked intriguingly, the wolf.
A deep sigh escaped the man's lips. " Well, it has ended up in my hands after a few unfortunates events. "
As soon as Yoongi was about to ask him another question, Jin cot him off and informed him, " I have to go. " He got up and pushed the chair forward. " You can stay here and read the journal until I come back; If not, you can always find under my flower pot a second key to lock the door behind you when you leave. "
Instructed Jin as he walked back to his room to grab a file from his desk along with his glass and brown coat. Then, he stepped toward the entrance and wore his shoes before looking back at Yoongi.
" Also, after reading the notes, be careful about what you will do next with Sora, okay? " He warned.
Yoongi wasn't really sure what the man was implying but took it seriously and nodded at his words. " I will. "
" Good. " Jin nodded back, satisfied with his answer before leaving the hybrid all alone in his house.
After he heard the door shut, Yoongi stared back at the plain black notebook. Everything started because of this, he thought. He gently touched the notebook before opening it on the first page. Quickly, he noted some doodles of different types of characters, trees, and names, along with the name of the owner in the middle of the page.
Jung Hoseok.
" So his full name is Jung Hoseok... " Yoongi could tell the personality of the boy by looking at his various pages of drawings and quotes he apparently liked. He seemed to be a pretty carefree and energetic teenager with a lot of imagination.
After turning another page, he fell on a different sheet of paper. This one contained a date and a small text. Intrigued, the male started reading it.
March 5th, 2015
I didn't hang out with the others today. Sora and Jackson were upset with me since it wasn't the first time, but I've decided to shrug it off. Me, Jung Hoseok, will meet my mother in a few hours after months of researches. I'm sure the others will understand when I tell them the truth, but now it's not the time.
-Jung Hoseok
" It started just as Jin said... " Yoongi looked at the next page, and the text was longer this time.
March 6th, 2015
I met my mother yesterday... It didn't really go as I planned.
I was standing timidly in front of her house and was excited yet scared to knock on her door.
What was my mother going to say?
Will she finally accept me?
I really had no had idea of what was going to happen. A part of me wanted to actually run away, but I simply couldn't, not when I've arrived this far. I've finally grabbed my courage and knocked on the door twice. After a few seconds, a woman opened the door to me.
She greeted me while looking curiously at me.
The first thing that hit me was her voice. It was gentle. I then studied her features and noticed how much I looked like her. Her nose and her heart-shaped lips were like mine. It made me smile and happy.
When I greeted her back, I messily spilled out my identity, stupidly expecting a smile from her or to be taken into a hug. But as I said, it was a stupid thought. Instead, her once silky voice turned cold and vicious. She harshly closed her door to my face, and no matter how many times I knocked on her door, she wouldn't answer.
What did I do wrong?
-Jung Hoseok
Yoongi turned the page without a word and kept reading.
March 8th, 2015
I went to knock on her door again, but she wouldn't answer. I stayed in front of her door the whole afternoon but wasn't able to meet her. The others have been asking what's wrong with me these days, but I'm not able to tell them that my own mother rejected me again.
-Jung Hoseok
March 12th, 2015
I skipped school today and went early in the morning to meet her. I saw her leave her house to check her mails and went immediately to talk to her.
I greeted her with my biggest smile in the hope to receive a positive response from her. But instead, she shot me a glare and scoffed. As she was about to get back to her house, I grabbed her arm and pleaded her.
" Please! I'm not asking you to be my mother. I only need to know the truth! Why did you abandon me? I need to know who I am! "
My exasperated screams seemed to have caught the attention of the neighbors. She looked around, embarrassed to have caught all the attention on her, so she harshly grabbed my arm and led me into her home. Inside she asked me how I found her and that I should leave her alone. Instead of answering her questions, I asked her back the reason for her to abandon me.
All I wanted to know was the truth. I wanted to know who I was and why I was hated so much by my own biological mother. Finally giving in, she told me something that I will never forget.
" Because you remind me of him! Every time I see your face, I see him in you, and I hate it. "
I didn't know how to react nor what to say. When I got my sense back, I asked her if she was talking about my father and where I could find him. I had hoped that he would be able to answer my questions instead. But all she said back to me was to follow her, and I did. She showed me her room but told me to touch nothing until she took a box out of her wardrobe. She stared at it, then handed it to me and sat on her bed.
She started to narrate her love story with my father. How much she loved him and trusted him until he actually broke that trust. She told me that during her pregnancy, he fell in love with another woman and had an affair with her. But that wasn't the worst for her. It was rather knowing with who he had broken her heart for.
The woman in question was working for them as a housekeeper, and she was a hybrid. Apparently, my mother couldn't believe how my father had betrayed her for a simple hybrid, so before her pregnancy started to show, she divorced him, and a few months after, I was born.
However, sudden hate came over her as she started to see reassembles between me and my father. She knew she was going to lose it if she kept me, so she abandoned me in front of the orphanage at the age of three.
I finally asked her if my father knew about me. If she told him anything and if she knew where he was living now. She told me she did tell him once about her pregnancy, but he didn't believe her even if he saw her belly growing over the months. Then, she gave me his current address. He had apparently never changed it over the past 15 years.
I took it with me and left without looking back.
-Jung Hoseok.
March 18th, 2015
I hanged out with Sora today. I missed her. I knew she wanted to ask me what was going on with me, but she didn't say anything. She could read me like an open book and be able to tell that I didn't want to talk about it. That's why Sora is my favorite !!
Hehe! Guys, if any of you is reading this, I love you too!
-Jung Hoseok
April 06th, 2015
It has been a month since I'm trying to keep track of all that is happening to me. I forgot that I even had this journal for a while. Actually, three days ago, something weird happened when I went home with Jin and Byul. On our way from the sweets store, Byul heard whimpering from a dark alley, Jin told her to stop joking and to not scare us, but her expression made me believe her. I walked inside the dark alley and saw a bunch of middle school boys. I asked them what they were doing there, but they didn't answer. Byul then pointed at a boy that was in the ground whimpering. A second after, we heard police sirens, and Jin told them he just called the police and asked them to stop this idiocy. I took it as an opportunity to go see the boy and asked him if he was okay.
To my surprise, it was a hybrid, a bunny hybrid. I didn't know how to react anymore after what my mother told me about my father's affair with a female hybrid. Somehow, I grew awkward with them. Jin approached me, followed by Byul, and said he used his phone as a prank for the sirens to make the kids leave without adding any drama. It was true, they weren't there when I turned around. Byul asked the boy's name and if he needed help to go to the hospital. He said his name was Jungkook and that he was okay except for the few bruises he had on his face. We helped him up, and he thanked us, then we accompanied him to the bus station and let him took the bus safely without his bullies around.
From that day, Byul wouldn't stop telling me how she wanted to work against the discrimination against Hybrids. I didn't know what to say to her. All I could do was uttering a few encouraging words while a war was occurring in my head on telling her the truth or keep my egoistic thoughts to myself.
-Jung Hoseok
Yoongi keeps reading and turning the pages about Hoseok daily life with his group of friends. Most of the time, it would be about his inner feelings that he couldn't voice out to his friends. He wanted to talk to them, but eventually, he started to notice how he actually started to grow apart from them, except for Sora. She wouldn't let him go and would always stay by his side no matter what.
June 9th, 2015
Yesterday, I took the initiative to go see my father. I wanted to get over it. I didn't want to be in my parent's shadows and be afraid of who I was. So, I went to the address that my mother gave me and knocked on his door. After a few seconds, a woman that seemed to be in her early forties opened her door to me. Then I noticed her long pointy ears that looked like bunny ears. It was because of her that I never was able to have a mother and a father.
Trying to keep calm, I asked her if Jeon Jaehyun was here. The woman immediately replied with a smile that he was indeed here. She called him over, and a few seconds later, he came in front of the door.
I couldn't believe it. There he was, smiling next to his lover while me and my mother have been suffering all those years. I felt so angry, but I couldn't utter a word. It was as if my throat was shutting, and had a hard time breathing. When I finally found the force to talk, a small voice from behind me startled me.
A young and innocent voice.
When I turned around to see the owner of that familiar voice, I was at a loss for words. I could feel my face fall while my mind went blank for a few seconds.
I stared at those familiar brown eyes with shock while my lips moved on their own to utter his name.
" Jungkook? "
So the hybrid I saved from bullying last time was him?
Was fate against me?
Then a thought hit me. While I was rejected by my parents, I still had friends at school. But for him, it was the opposite. He was rejected by his classmate but welcomed by his parents.
What is worse? I wonder.
His doe eyes desperately searched mine, waiting for an answer to my presence here. Foolishly, I formed an excuse and left without glancing back at the boy or my father.
What irony. The little boy I saved from bullying is the child of the woman who stole my life. I couldn't help but cry and break everything in my room. The kids with who I shared my room in the orphanage thought that I was going crazy. Honestly, even I think I'm turning crazy. In the end, I ended up with bleeding knuckles and a confused mind.
- Jung Hoseok
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