Here comes the second part of my story!! Please comment, and/or vote!
^_^
PART TWO
Fall Dance
It was perfectly sunny that day. Well, it was, until I walked out of my house and was halfway to my school.
Then, the clouds overhead seemed to gather up over me, in a comically cortoon-esque way, and the rain began to pour down.
It made me feel even more miserable.
And then, someone put a barrier between me and the rain. Someone opened an umbrella over my head, saving me from a complete washing.
I looked up to my saviour and almost choked on my own saliva when I saw the gorgeous face and the honey-blond hair that made me think about the cornfields of my native country.
The stranger from the other night was looking down at me, smiling.
His sapphire eyes were even more brilliant in the daylight.
"So we meet again, ma belle."
I just stared at him, unable to voice a coherent word even if my life depended on it.
It was as if his eyes captured me, held me prisoner inside their blue depths.
I don't know what surprised me the most, the fact that we met again or the fact that he actually remembered me.
He ran a hand through his wet hair, looking over my shoulder at the rusty-coloured silhouette of my school, already visible in the distance.
"What..." I began, finally finding my voice, "Why..."
He smiled again and I noticed a cute pair of dimples like commas on his cheeks.
I decided to ask the most important question then.
"What's your name?" I asked.
There was a moment of silence.
"Mine's Eliza," I said quickly.
"Sin," he said.
I looked at him incomprehensibly.
"What?"
"My name's Sin," he repeated, making the umbrella twirl in his hand.
"Really?" I breathed, fascinated. Sin... it was a name I never heard. I pronounced it out loud, tasting it in my mouth.
"Well, my whole name's Elias Sinclair Fleming," he voiced, still not looking at me. It was only justice that someone so gorgeous would have such a wickedly cool name, right?
"But everybody just calls me Sin," he added.
"I aced my chemistry quiz," I said then. Beauty can make you say such silly things. As the realization of the words I've just spoken dawned on me, I blushed, with the kind of deep red colour that covered my whole face.
He looked at me and laughed. It was such a lovely sound. He was the kind of person whose laughter was contagious and soon, I was cracking up too.
"That's a good thing, ma belle," he said between two bursts of laughter.
Those two words, though I didn't know what they meant, held a note of tenderness and affection I longed for. They comforted me, and for a moment I forgot my sister, I forgot Candy, Zack, my country, I forgot everything. It was a moment of joy and of oblivion, a moment when I felt as free as a bird and as light as a balloon filled with helium.
I felt good for the first time in weeks.
It was weird that a total stranger would provide me what I was so desperately reaching for. It was weird that I had always been surrounded by people when I needed them the less and that when I needed support and love there was no one left, but a man I barely knew. A guy, a boy, a man.
"We began walking again, and it felt so natural to have him by my side, walking at my rhythm, silence floating around us like a protecting bubble, shielding us from the rain and the other people who walked beside us.
My feet made sucking noises on the wet concrete of the sidewalk as I walked by Sin's side.
"You are really silent, ma belle. What is it? Is it still because of your friend?"
I didn't say anything for a little while, savouring his curiosity. I wasn't used to people caring about my problems. I was used to be left alone so I could manage them on my own.
"Yes and no," I said. "There are other things too, you know."
He looked at me, that same undecipherable expression passing over his features.
"What other things?" he asked in a murmur.
I pondered telling him about the "other things". My longing for my country, my sister's affection and my parents attention, but I decided that I already told him way too much. No need to add more.
"It's nothing... important," I breathed, feeling my cheeks get hot, just as every time I lied.
"Liar," he breathed playfully, pulling a strand of my hair that had fallen from my tight ponytail. He replaced it behind my ear and as his hand brushed my cheek, his fingers left a trail of fire in their wake. A chill ran down my spine and it had nothing to do with the coldness of the September day.
The trees were already red, orange, yellow and gold, their leaves falling to the ground, carpeting it in warm colours. As I walked on them, they squished under my feet.
"How old are you?" I asked, trying to get his attention off me.
"Twenty three."
I digested the words, trying to get a hold on them, to understand their meaning. And realized they meant nothing. Because there would be nothing between the two of us. We just accidentally met two times, it was no big deal.
If yes, then why did I have to CONVICE myself it was no big deal? I perfectly knew that a guy like Sin would never look at a girl like me with any kind of interest. It would be simple between us; we were distant acquaintances, the kind of things he would forget.
Then why didn't he forget our first meeting?
It was an unsolved mystery for me.
"I'm an old man," he added, looking at me sideways, an amused smile playing on his lips.
They were just as pink as the last time I've seen him. Did he use some guy-lipstick or what? His lips looked del-i-cious.
I almost asked him, but bit my tongue at the last moment, realizing that the question was pretty stupid.
We walked another few steps in silence and I noticed that we were pretty close to my school by now. I muttered a few curses under my breath. Why did it always happen like that? He would find me somewhere on a sidewalk, walk me to some place and then leave, as quickly as he came. It was infuriating. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to KNOW him.
I sighed when we stopped short before the fence of my school. My backpack seemed heavier now that I knew he was going to leave me.
My shoulders slumped and I smiled at Sin. He smiled back, a smile so brilliant that it warmed me up and made me think that maybe - and only maybe - it wouldn't be the last time I've ever seen him.
His hand rose to my cheek and his fingers grazed my skin in the lightest of caresses. A chill rippled down my back, and I looked up into his sapphire eyes. Their gentleness made me feel warm all over, and I almost forgot that the rain was falling around us. His eyes were all I could see... then the bell rang and the moment was over, just as quickly as it began.
I looked at him one last time and then turned towards my school. The red-brick building had been a refuge to me during the last years, permitting me to stay away from home most of the day. It was a welcoming building, vaguely Victorian, really beautiful. It had once been some kind of manor, before being converted into a high-school. It wasn't huge, but it wasn't small either, just perfect to hold it's five hundreds student inside it's ancient walls.
In the halls, I absently stared at the posters, some asking students to join the student council, others for the audition of the school's theatre troupe. One gold poster held my attention.
It was announcing in fancy silver letters the upcoming Fall Dance, an inevitable social event at our school. I stared at it for a moment, wondering if Candy and Zack would go together. Then I sighed. Of course they were going. They were a couple now.
I stood in front of the poster for another while and then turned away from it, stuffing it into a dusty and forgotten corner of my mind.
I imagined Candy in a fancy pink dress twirling in Zack's arms and chased the thought away from my preoccupied mind.
There was another girl standing in front of a locker. She had beautiful red curls that hung to the small of her back, unkempt and wild.
I tapped on her shoulder and she whirled around to face me.
"Hey!" she said cheerfully. Her face was striking. She had a constellation of freckles on her nose and cheekbones, and bright moss-green eyes. She wore the white blouse and the black pleated skirt our uniform requested, but she also had a fancy washed-out denim jacket. Her lips were fuchsia and she had applied mascara to her eyelashes, making them seem unbearably long. A cute beret sat atop her red curls, giving her a stylish vintage look I couldn't even try to pull off. She was beautiful, in a cute and lovable way.
I smiled and pointed a finger to my locker.
"You're trying to open my locker," I informed her, unable to stop smiling.
"Oh! Sorry!" she said and glanced briefly at the sheet she was holding in her hand. I noticed her fuchsia nail polish.
She slapped her forehead and laughed.
"Geesh, it's not mine!" she exclaimed and laughed. She turned to the locker next to mine.
"You're new here?" I asked, looking at her from the corner of my eyes, while opening my own locker.
"Isn't that obvious?" she asked perkily, smiling. "By the way, my name is Diane. Nice to meet you..." she trailed off, waiting for me to say my name.
I wondered how she would react if I didn't answer.
"I'm Elizabeth. But everybody just calls me Eliza," I said, taking my chemistry notebook.
"Can I call you Liz or Lizzie?" she asked, applying another layer of fuchsia lipstick. "It's such a cuuute nickname!"
She pulled a sheet of stickers from her backpack and sticked one of the door of my locker.
It was a smiling cupcake with "Kawaii!!" written under it in a fancy pink writing, with hearts as dots over the "i's".
"Kawaii means cute in Japanese!" she said, "and I think you're cute!"
♪♥♫
She was from New York. She became the "It-Girl" of our school in no time, but strangely, she hung out with me of all people. She was a senior- one year older than me.
Okay so I have to do a little explanation.
In our not-so-little-but-no-so-big-either town, it is a rarity to have someone from New-York move here. The only thing that was attractive about our town was the nearby city of New-Haven with the Yale University. In our little town, you could always find plenty of students who lived here in some cheap rental rooms. It was our city business.
We all have been to New York at least once. But it's a thing to go there with a big camera hanging around your neck and a city map permanently opened in your hands, and another to actually live there. Dian had an insider's eye on the city; she was part of that total coolness we -small-town folks- could only dream of.
She was really nice too. Her bright glosses and lipsticks and permanently changing nail colors, as well as her bright red hair made her impossible to miss. She was loud, funny and lovely, always telling funny stories about her life in New York. She was the center of the universe and all we could do was helplessly gravitate around her, pulled by her inevitable attraction.
She kept sticking all kind of random stickers in her locker and mine, to the point where they were entirely covered with cute little images and funny quotes.
Because of her, I stopped moping in my room all day and began to go out, hanging out in a coffee shop in New Haven, spotting be-au-ti-ful (as Diane called them) students from Yale, drinking lattes and babbling about school teachers and latest small-town gossip.
It was refreshing to have someone so lively as a friend, but even Diane couldn't chase the souvenir of the beautiful Sin out of my mind.
He was always there, hovering just at the edge of my consciousness, evoking images of sapphire eyes in my over-imaginative mind.
♪♥♫
I knew that as my best friend, Diane would ask me that question.
It doesn't mean that I didn't lie to her.
It happened on a tranquil afternoon, in her room, as we watched a cheesy romance movie, more talking than listening to the totally predictable plot.
During a particularly boring kissing scene, Diane turned to me, a mischievous smile on her face.
"Soooo..." she began, dragging the one syllable into a long sing-song note, "don't you have a crush or something?" she asked, smiling suggestively. "There HAS to be at least one guy that's driving you crazy!"
Seeing my hesitation, she playfully punched me on the arm.
"Come on! Spit it!" she said triumphantly.
"Well... I had a crush on Zack before..." I said.
"Zack? Isn't that..." her eyes widened with excitement, "CANDY'S BOYFRIEND?!" she shrieked, looking as if she just won a million dollars. "I knew there was a reason why you two split up!! From the pics you have in your room, it looked like you were her best friend, but you rarely talked to her at school!" She voiced all that in one breath.
I turned a bright red color. My eyes darted away from the screen to the big window.
"But I got over it," I added, feeling my thoughts drift to Sin. His sapphire eyes... "And now, I'm fine," I added. Lied. And blushed, the betraying sign of my lies.
"That's all?" asked Diane, looking disappointed. "I was hoping for a BIG thing, ya know, the kind of nuclear bomb type!"
I smiled.
"I've got none of those in my arsenal." Another lie, but I wasn't going to admit that.
I mean, it's not as if there was anything to tell. Sin was a guy I barely knew, a guy it was perfectly normal to have a crush on, a guy who it was almost an obligation to have a crush on. After all, what kind of girl didn't hit on beautiful mysterious guys?
"Hey!" she said then, brightening up again.
"What?" I asked, my gaze returning to the screen.
"You know, the fall dance?" she began, "we've got to go! It's going to be awesome!"
I looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Fall dance and awesome weren't words you were supposed to put in the same sentence. In my mind, they were total opposites. Fall dance was more like a synonym to 'social suicide' for me. I mean, I've got no one to go with, no dress, and no dancing skills.
"We'll go together!" Diane exclaimed, looking excited. "It'll be fun, you'll see!"
"I doubt that," I said, but knew I'll go all the same. It was just that I was unable to refuse anything to Diane. She was my best friend, and I couldn't say 'no' to people I liked. "When is it?"
"In one week. Next Saturday, at the school's gym." Diane stood up. "I already have a dress, but we've got to find one for you!"
"Ughh," I moaned, hiding my face in my hands. I hated shopping. I hated dresses. I hated stupid fall dances.
But more than anything, I hated the feeling of invisibility they always brought with them.
♪♥♫
Dances have that power of making you feel invisible. You sit at the corner with all the other girls that haven't been asked to dance, and that particular corner has an atmosphere about it, as if the word 'Loser' was etched in the air around us.
It feels horrible to be surrounded by people that ignore you and have great time doing it. If feels horrible to know that it wouldn't have changed anything even if you weren't there.
This is what I call to be invisible.
It's when your presence or absence means nothing to those around you.
I, for example, excel at the art of being invisible.
I never make a difference.
♪♥♫
I was going home, remembering that day, two years ago when I had the bad idea to go to the fall dance.
As always, this memory brought a sea of images, all worse one than the next. Me sitting in the corner reserved for the girls who had no one to dance with.
Me hoping that this massacre will be over soon.
Me hiding in the toilets for the last hour of the dance, emerging from the stall only when the music stopped.
As always, when I was distracted or deep in thought, I was staring down at my feet.
And it is probably why I ran into someone.
I looked up, to find a pair of warm sapphire eyes looking down at me.
Why is it that Sin always found me whenever I felt miserable? I mean, couldn't he appear when I was happy? Not that this happened that often lately.
"Eliza," he said.
I didn't say anything, staring at him, wondering why he remembered my name.
"In case you were wondering, no, I am not some creepy stalker who follows you all the time," he added, smiling.
"I didn't think you were," I said, and it was true.
"Good, ma belle," he said and then he looked down at my hands, tucked in the pockets of my jeans. "Want me to walk you home?" he asked.
I shrugged.
"Yes. No." I paused. "Maybe."
"I'll take that for a yes," he said and we began walking. The silence settled between us and I looked up at the stars.
"It's not fair," I said suddenly, "it's not fair that just because you're beautiful, you never got through the hell I am going through now in high school."
"I have gone through all kinds of hells, ma petite chatte. All kinds of hells. Some way worse than high school. And I'm flattered by the fact that you think I'm beautiful."
"Everybody thinks you are," I said, looking at his long lashes, at his angular cheekbones and at his full, pink lips.
"Beauty is relative," he said and I laughed bitterly.
"You're one to talk. Beauty is definitely not relative. There are people that are beautiful and others that aren't. You can't deny that."
"There are people who I don't consider as beautiful, you're right. But that doesn't mean that there aren't other people who think they are gorgeous. And that doesn't mean that they are ugly."
"Do you think I'm gorgeous?" I asked, looking at him, daring him to lie and to say 'yes'.
"Ma belle," he breathed, "you are."
I laughed again and turned my eyes away from him.
"There are people who don't have that kind of beauty," he said. "They lose their innocence. They lose their pureness. But you didn't lose it. And it makes you beautiful."
'At least,' I thought, 'he admitted that it wasn't my face that was beautiful. It was my soul that was. Or at least what he thought was my soul.'
"You have no way of knowing that," I said defiantly.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," he said as we stopped in front of my house. Then he smiled and turned his back to me, walking away.
♪♥♫
The night of the dance, Diane came to my house to get ready.
The first disappointment of the night was my dress.
I hoped for something just as cliché as some lame teen movie. I hoped that the dress would transform me into some beautiful young nymph, a goddess. But instead, it didn't change a thing. I just looked like the usual Eliza, but in a formal, short black dress.
Then, came the disappointment of the make-up. I hoped that Dian would change my face into one of a beautiful foreign princess, in a face that would be just as beautiful as Candice's.
But instead, I looked like a normal Eliza, in a black dress and with some lipstick, blush and eye shadow.
Once we were ready, my mom did what every parent was supposed to do, she told us we were gorgeous (true for Diane, a total lie for me) and took tons of photos. Seriously, I don't understand why. So I can show my kids how Diane looked perfect next to me?
But I didn't say anything to my mom, mostly to make her happy.
Then, my dad drove us to the school.
The gym had been decorated for the occasion, with gold, yellow, red and orange leaves hanging from the ceiling, some scotched to the walls and others on the ground. There was a punch bowl with some poor's student's mom charged to pour the drinks into plastic cups.
There was a "DJ" or more precisely Sandy Cumming's older brother with his laptop connected to speakers that were scattered everywhere in the gym. Some Lady Gaga song was playing, and I regretted to be there the moment I put one foot on the polished wood floor.
No, seriously, this was bad.
Almost immediately, a senior guy asked Diane to dance and she accepted, smiling, leaving me to myself.
I saw Candy swirling in Zack's arms, just the way I imagined it when I sae that poster in the corridor.
I went to the punch bowl, deciding that some sugar would definitely help me cope with all this... torture.
I took a plastic cup and drank it all in a few gulps. Then I leaned against the table and watched other people have fun.
When the song was over, another guy asked Diane to dance and she accepted, and soon, they were dancing gracefully between the other couples.
Somewhere between one song and the other, Diane approached me and asked if I was having fun. I was tempted to look at her with an irritated expression and ask: "Do I look like I'm having fun?" but instead, I smiled and said that yes, that she was right all along and that it was great. Hearing my answer, she gloated and fled away with another guy who wanted to dance with her.
I stood there for another moment, until the mother who was serving punch asked me politely: "Are you waiting for someone, honey?"
I don't know why, but this question made it. My frustration broke free, and I felt tears menacing to overflow my eyes.
"Yeah, and he's late. He's too late."
Then I walked, no, really, stormed to the bathroom and washed my face with freezing cold water, until any trace of make-up was gone.
Once I was done with the paint on my face, I left. I left the gym, then I left the school, and once I was outside, where the moon shone and where the stars blinked down at me as if they were watching me, I ran, the cold autumn breeze making my hair whip behind me.
I stopped at the still full public pool; I climbed the fence, and stood before the blue water with brown leaves floating on the surface. I sat on the edge and took of my shoes, before plunging my bare feet into the icy water. I wanted to go home and watch "The Lion King" and cry like a baby when Mufasa died.
And then I hid my face in my hands and cried.
I cried because I wanted to be pretty and wasn't. I cried because I don't know when I'll see my country again. I cried because life was unfair, and because people died every second and because I was egocentric enough to cry because I wasn't pretty while other kids cried because they were hungry. I cried because Mufasa died in the 'Lion King'.
I cried for every reason and for no reason.
And almost fell in the pool when a hand rested on my shoulder.
I turned around, furious to be seen in that moment of total misery.
And was faced with a perfect face and sapphire blue eyes.
Which made me even more furious.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, "came to tell me more nonsense about beauty being relative?"
He didn't say anything, just looked at me with what looked like pity.
"Or maybe you came to do some damage control? To see if you favourite little toy felt good? After all, what poor loser would you discuss with your friends if I decided that my life wasn't worth living?"
Then I began bawling again, and stopped saying stupid things.
He sat beside me, and wrapped an arm around my waist.
"What happened at that dance?" he asked, his breath brushing the top of my head. "Did... anyone... hurt you, ma belle?"
"N-n-no!" I stuttered, feeling like shit. "It's just that..." I stopped, knowing that what I was going to say was going to make me sound childish and stupid, "no one asked me to dance. No one even spoke to me." It was all I managed before beginning to sob again.
Sin's arm left my waist and I heard him stand up. That was it. He thought I was pathetic and was leaving, and he was right. I felt pathetic.
"Eliza, ma belle," he breathed. "Would you dance with me?"
I looked up at him, and saw his hand extended to me. He was smiling, and his smile was filled with tenderness and affection, precisely what I needed.
I took his hand and he helped me to stand up. Pulling me to my feet, he wrapped his arms around me, and I put my arms around his neck, my cheek pressed to his chest.
He began singing and I immediately recognised the song. It was 'Can you feel the love tonight'.
I began to softly sing with him, and we swayed together. He was so warm that I forgot the cold of the breeze and the freshness of the air and the sting of cool concrete against my bare feet.
"There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours"
It was the first guy I ever met who knew the lyrics by heart, just like me. When our voices stopped, our bodies stopped moving too, and I looked up to him.
He was looking down at me too, and I felt his breath on my lips. All I had to do was to stand on my tiptoes so our lips would touch.
But I didn't have to. He scooped me up to him, and kissed me. I never kissed anyone else before. Never.
It surprised me so much that for a moment, I didn't react.
And then, my hands moved and my fingers curled into his soft hair. My lips moved in perfect timing with his, and my eyes closed. His mouth tasted like chocolate, and our breaths mingled deliciously. I stupidly thought that I must be high on that fruit punch I've been drinking all night, that something so good couldn't really be happening to me. But then I realized that my mind wouldn't be able to imagine something just as... perfect.
So I just savored the moment.
It felt good. Safe.
It felt like love.
It just felt.
♥
© CoolDidi aka Diana N.