The last 3 months have gone by in a blur. I can't even believe that it's already the new year.
Harry and I spent two weekends of each month in South Shields and my dad's family came down to London for the other 2 weekends to stay with us.
We took the boys out to trick or treat during Halloween. We all dressed up as ninja turtles and it was the most fun I've ever had in awhile.
Harry and I also spent Christmas with them and we went to Paris. It was the first time I've ever been out of the country and every day of the short trip was magical.
The city was beautiful and better than I had always imagined. It was a dream come true for me.
Jesy went home for the holidays and told me that our mam was extremely sorry for the way she treated me and for keeping everything from me.
She told them that I had found my real dad and I was spending the holidays with them due to his condition and they understood it.
I spent my birthday in London with all my friends around me and I've never felt more blessed in my life.
My mam and 'dad' sent me a gift which Jesy brought me, it was a nice gesture from them and I think its time I finally forgive them.
I spent New Year's Eve with Harry at home in our pyjamas. We stayed up late watching movies and I finally got my first New Year's kiss and it felt like I was living in a fairy-tale.
But all good things come to an end. My dad started getting weaker once the New Year hit. Every day he got sicker and sicker but he kept a smile on his face through it all.
They decided to stay in London after the New Year. My dad wanted to die in the city he was born in and he wanted to be buried here as well.
He died three days ago, twelve days after the New Year. I knew his time was coming up soon but I didn't want to believe it.
The past 3 months was pure bliss, every moment I got to spend with him and his family is something I will always treasure in my heart.
I'm still in shock that he's really gone. I had him and then I lost him so quickly. I wish there was more time. Even though we tried to do everything, at the end of it all it wasn't enough time.
There were still so many things I wanted to say, so many more things I wanted to do with him that I will never get to do.
But he made me feel the love that I should have felt growing up in the little time we had together. He made me feel what it was like to have a supportive father.
He made me feel loved and cared for. He made me feel like I was enough the way I am, that he was proud of the person I am.
Funny enough, I had no idea who I was before I met him but once I did, my whole life changed. I realized the person who I wanted to be was completely different than the person I thought I was.
There were many instances along the way that made me realize who I really was but he played a big role, despite only knowing me for 3 months.
But the real hero of my story is Harry. I'd be lost without him. He's stuck by me from the beginning.
Never in a million years would I have thought I would end up with some one like him. Then again, the Harry that's with me now is a completely changed man.
"Hey babe, are you ready?" I hear Harry's voice through the door. I take one last look at myself in the mirror.
"No, but I have to be." I say to myself and exit the woman's bathroom. He offers me a comforting smile and holds out his hand for me.
I grab his hand and he gives mine a squeeze. I take a deep breath before we enter the main gathering area of the church.
I spot the twins sitting at the front pews and Liz sobbing beside them. Harry pulls me along and we take our seats beside the twins.
I look at the casket in front of me and it still hasn't sunken in that my dad is in there, no longer breathing.
Michael leans on me and I can feel his silent tears slipping down my arm. I reach over and put my arm around him and Matthew.
They're both so young and now, they no longer have a father. I continue to rub Matthew's arm but then he springs up and runs out of the room.
"Matt!" Michael yells and follows his brother out of the room. Liz is about to get up when I get up first.
"May I? Just stay here." I tell her and she nods, taking her seat again. I walk out of the gathering area and see Matthew on the floor crying with Michael trying to hug him.
"Hey guys, what's going on?" I ask them. "I don't get it Jade. Daddy was okay before, then he got sick and I thought the doctors were going to make him better." Matthew tells me.
His eyes are red from all the crying and he tries to wipe them but they are endless. "Mum said its cause dad didn't want to take the medicine." Michael adds.
"I know it's hard that dad isn't here anymore but it's going to be okay. We'll all get through this together. Dad didn't want to take medicine because he knew that we would be okay without him." I say to the boys carefully.
Every word I say hits me right in the stomach but I know I have to stay strong and help the boys get through this.
If this is hard for me, I can't even imagine how they are feeling. "Listen to me though, just because dad is gone doesn't mean I'm going to disappear from your lives." I tell him.
"I'm going to make a promise to you guys. I will visit you at least twice a month, if not more." I promise them.
"I love being your big sister, I love spending time with you guys and that won't stop cause dad's gone okay? I will try to fill in for him if that's okay with you guys." I smile at them.
"We would like that a lot Jadey." Michael tells me and gives me tight hug and I end up laughing.
"Can we come and stay with you Harry sometimes too? Our house is boring, yours is more fun." Matthew says as I pull him up.
"Of course, as long as it's okay with your mum!" I tell him and he leans up and gives me a hug and he pecks my cheek lightly.
"I know Harry says he's the only one that can kiss you but you're the best sister ever so I wanted to give you one too!" He tells me.
"You guys can give me as many kisses as you want to! Ignore what Harry said!" I joke with them and we all end up laughing together.
After the ceremony we all head to the cemetery and watch as they bury my dad into the ground.
Liz's tears are endless while mine refuse to pour. I keep thinking that my dad doesn't want me to be sad instead he wants me to celebrate his life and the fact that I got to be a part of it.
People start saying their goodbyes to Liz and once everyone else was gone I feel the hot tears on my face.
I can't help it anymore; my heart is breaking in so many pieces. He's gone and I must accept it.
Harry rubs my back in a comforting way, and I can't imagine what life will be like now.
We head home shortly after and I lay on the bed and watch the window for days. I can't find it in me to get up, to do anything, to breathe even.
"Jade, you have to eat something baby." I hear Harry say to me. I look away from the window and see his silhouette by the door.
"It's been 3 days Jade. Please get up and eat a full meal with me. Then you can go back to bed." He tells me.
I turn away from him and watch the window again. I feel the bed dip down and his face comes into view.
"Baby please, I don't want you to get sick. I'm begging you Jade." He says to me again. I look at him and his usual bright eyes are surrounded by red rings.
"Have you slept?" My voice comes out weak. He shakes his head and sighs, "I have to stay up to make sure you're okay. Whenever you fall asleep you wake up every hour screaming." He tells me.
"I do?" I ask him, everything has been a blur these past few days. I don't remember much.
He just nods and kneels on the floor and grabs my hand. "Please get up even for just 30 minutes. I made you breakfast, and I want you to take a quick shower." He pleads.
I just stare at him blankly. "The girls want to see you today." He tells me when I don't respond to him.
He sighs and gets up again. His patience is wearing thin and I can see it. "Get up Jade!" He yells but I don't move.
I can't move. My whole body has been paralyzed, I'm completely numb. I told myself I wouldn't do this. I told myself this isn't what my dad wanted but here I am.
Harry grabs my arms and pulls me up but I'm limp in his arms. "Jade! This is enough, get up now! You're not doing anyone any favors by just laying there!" He shouts in my face.
Again, I don't respond to him. His green orbs turn dark and he picks me up and takes me to the bathroom.
He turns the tap on, and the water hits us both and my body is shocked by it. He moves my hair out my face and I can see the pain in his eyes.
The pain that I'm causing him, how does he still want to be with me? "Baby, please..." He begs.
"I need you to do something! I know you're hurting, but this isn't what he wanted you to do!" He yells at me.
He puts his forehead on mine, and I can see him clearly now. "Jade, I love you! Please, stop this nonsense." He begs.
"What did you just say?" I ask him to repeat his words. He grabs my face and kisses me under the water.
"I love you Jade." He tells me again, "And my heart is shattered after seeing you limp and lifeless these past 3 days."
He said the 3 words I never thought I would hear from him. "Please, I need you to help yourself now baby, I can't do it alone." He pleads.
I stay silent and let his words sink in, then I finally look up at him, "I love you too Harry."
We stay in the shower for what feels like hours just holding each other. "I'm so sorry Harry." I tell him when I'm ready to get up.
He shakes his head and he turns off the tap. "It's alright Jade." He says as he takes off his clothes before leaving me in the shower.
I stay still and try to remember the last 3 days but nothing pops in my mind but the window I was staring into.
Harry comes back with a towel around his waist and one over his shoulder. He helps me out of my soaking clothes, then he wraps me in the towel and helps me out of the shower.
We head back to our bed when my phone rings. We both look at it until I reach over and pick it up.
"Hello?" I say quietly. "Hi Jade, how are you doing? It's Liz." I hear the person on the other line say. "Hi Liz, I'm okay, how are you and the boys doing?" I ask her.
"Same, I was wondering if you would be able to come over later? Your dad's lawyer is coming by later to read his will and asked for you to be there." She tells me.
"What for?" I ask her. "Just come by our apartment at 4:00pm. Harry is welcome to come as well." She tells me softly.
"Okay Liz, I'll see you later. Say hello to the boys for me please." I tell her and we hang up.
"We have to go to their apartment at 4:00pm." I tell Harry and he just nods and changes into fresh clothes.
He places clothes beside me before he leaves the room without another word. I look at them but decide to take one of his shirts instead.
I walk out of the bedroom for the first time in 3 days and see that he's cleaned the place. It looks spotless.
He's by the sink washing dishes and I move to stand behind him, and I hear him sobbing. I wrap my arms around his torso, and I can feel him gasping for air.
"I'm so sorry baby." I tell him but he doesn't move an inch. "I know you're tired and you've lost all your patience with me." I say to him.
"I understand if you no longer want to be with me. I'm a lot to handle, I know that." I voice to him softly.
He finally turns around and holds my shoulders to pull me away. "How can you say that?" he asks me.
"Don't say things like that Jade. I'm here for the long run." he adds and moves away from me.
He sit on the couch and I move to sit beside him. "You've barely eaten these past 3 days. All you've had is water and soup. Even then I had to fight you to get you to eat it." he explains to me.
"I don't remember much Harry. Everything's been a blur. Thank you for not giving up on me." I tell him and he just nods.
I get up and go to the table where he has food ready. I take my regular seat and start eating without another word.
Minutes later he joins me and we eat in silence. "Why do we have to go to their apartment?" Harry questions.
"The lawyer wants me there for the reading of the will." I explain to him and he just nods.
Before I know it, its time for us to head out to my dad's apartment. We reach it quickly and soon enough I was seated in front of Liz and the lawyer.
We hold hands for support, but I'm not sure who needs it more. Harry is playing games with the boys but knowing he's nearby helps my nerves stay cool.
"As you know Liz, John recently changed his will after he found out about his condition." Jacob, the lawyer tells us.
Liz nods and offers me a smile, "Yes, we discussed the changes before he had you draw them up." she tells him.
"So, you know about Jade being added to the will." he tells us and my eyes open in surprise.
"Yes, of course. It was my idea to begin with." she tells him and he just nods. I look at her and she just gives my hands a squeeze.
"So, the estate in South Shields is now fully under your name Liz and along with all his stocks and his share of the firm, and all your other properties around Europe." He tells Liz as he looks down at the sheet of paper and she nods.
"As for John's savings he's split them three ways for his three children." Jacob continues and I don't believe what I am hearing.
"The boys still have their college funds respectively but on top of that they will have access to their share of his savings once they reach the age of 18, so for now you will have control over their shares Liz." he explains to her.
"Jade, this apartment is to be under your name after we sign the papers and since you're 18 you will have access to your share of the savings after we get a DNA test." he explains to me.
"That won't be necessary Jacob!" Liz exclaims. "Well, it's a policy we have to follow. John was aware of this prior to the will being drawn up." he tells her and Liz gets up.
"This is ridiculous!" Liz yells and I get up and hold her hand. "Liz, this is all too much. I cannot accept this. This was never the reason why I wanted to get to know him, please know that." I tell her and she shakes her head.
"We know that hon, but your dad wasn't gonna leave you with nothing. You're his child. He wanted to make up for not knowing you all those years ago." she tells me.
"All of you have already done so much for me. I cannot accept this apartment or the money." I tell her.
"Do this for him Jade, he wanted you to have it." she tells me and gives me a hug. She turns back to the lawyer.
"How do you suppose we do a DNA test Jacob? John is dead." I hear Liz say with a hard tone.
"Jade will have to do a DNA test with the twins." Jacob states and Liz looks even angrier.
"This is the only way Jade will get her share of the inheritance." he explains and Liz sighs.
"Fine, is this an invasive procedure?" She asks and Jacob shakes his head. "I will agree on the twins' behalf." she finally caves in.
"Jade? Will you agree to do the DNA test?" she asks me and I look back and forth between them and eventually find myself nodding.
I know he's my dad but there's a part of me that just wants to be sure. Jacob pulls a kit out of his briefcase and asks Liz to get the boys.
Once Harry and the boys were with us he explains that he'll have to get a swab from our mouths and send it to the lab to test and we should have our results back within a week.
The three of us are swabbed and he leaves shortly after. We all sit down for dinner and silence falls upon us.
"I'm sorry you had to do that Jade. I had no idea about that." Liz says apologetically and I shake my head, "Please don't be sorry Liz, this is all too much." I tell her and she just gives me a smile.
"We'll be heading back to South Shields after the DNA results come back so you guys can move in whenever you like. I know it's a little farther to your school than your apartment now but it's bigger, you'll have more space." She tells Harry and me.
"What?" Harry asks and turns to look at me. I give him a guilty look. "My dad left this apartment for me." I tell him and his eyes pop out of their sockets.
"I can talk to your landlord and explain why you're leaving so suddenly if you'd like. I know it's only been months since you moved into your place." Liz offers.
"Oh no that's alright Liz, I can handle that." Harry tells her with a smile, but I know I have a lot of explaining to do once we get home.
Soon we were saying out goodbyes and Harry and I are back on the road. "Were you gonna tell me we were gonna move into that apartment?" He asks me.
"Of course, I was going to! We didn't get a chance to talk alone. I didn't want the apartment or the money in the first place but she is insisting." I explain to him.
"I can talk to the landlord if you want and I'll pay whatever we have to, to get out of the contact." I tell him and he sighs.
"You don't have to wave the money in my face Jade." He tells me and I look at him in disbelief.
"That's not what I'm doing Harry. I just want to take care of this one thing. You've done everything to take care of me so let me do this one thing." I tell him and hold his hand.
His mood changes once I touch him. "I'm sorry... I just want to be able to take care of you Jade. It's my job to." He explains to me.
"I know but you need to let me take care of you for once." I whisper to him and he looks at me and gives me a smile, a real smile from the man I've fallen so hard for.