It is said that no matter what kind of time it is, it just passes. Bad, good, happy, sad. But when life gets the first drop of rain, first arrival of petrichor after a long season of heat of hate, it stays. The rain of love. The everlasting cloud. Stays forever. Not fading. Not moving.
The same cloud of wholeness was surrounding the small world of Rayyan and Noor. Life was moving on. But now it was moving giving them memories to live for a lifetime. It wasn't a bed of roses. But whatever it was, would be spent together. Hand in hand and that wasn't less than any rose out there.
Seeing them no one could say how these two people have met. How clashing their personalities once were. How they were praying to never bump into each other again. But destiny happened. And when it happens, it has its own rules. Its own game.
The life story was simple. But held so much which couldn't still be explained. But all that was now closed in a box. From where it won't ever come out. If it did, only to cherish how far they'd come.
It was unreal still it was the reality of their lives. Two people. Twisted fates. Collided with each other and then there was no going back from there.
The rain fell. And it fail hard. Drenching everything. Soaking the heart which was made of stone. Melting the steel resolutions.
Time and its strange ways. Looking back at the past, Noor could never stop herself from wondering how this came to be a possibility. Her, Rayyan and everything in between. From that rainy farewell that particular evening all those months back, to being each other's home. They had done it. Together. With all heart and soul.
Their relationship had formed into something everyone around them called goals. But for them it was just being who they were. Each other's. Everything.
Her venture was coming out to be a life changer. She hadn't thought she could be this useful on professional front but the day she joined the project offered to her, she knew this was it. They were reaching out to the people in need of their help. Those women who were subjected to the fate they had no say in. It wasn't easy but it was coming out to be fruitful. Rayyan wasn't much for talking but he never missed an opportunity to tell her how proud of her he was.
The family was as close they had never been before. Rayyan and Hammad were not the ideal father and son pair but they were way better than before. Mending his relationship with Hammad had made Rayyan soft towards Saliha as well. When the blindfold of hatred was taken off, he could see what a strong and full of love woman Saliha was. Always there for everyone around her. Loving. Giving. Forgiving.
Hammad still had the baggage of the past. May be because he could do nothing about it. What's gone was gone. It was never coming back. But seeing Rayyan coming around was what made him genuinely happy. He knew he didn't deserve this. But Rayyan deserved this. The love of his family. The feel of being accepted and loved. And for that Hammad was always there. He couldn't make up for those time when he couldn't reach out but now he wasn't leaving his family.
Abeer, Rohail and Rayyan had fallen into the sibling bond like nothing had ever happened. And over the time they were getting stronger. They understood each other. They knew where to give the other person space. And they were always up for pulling each other's leg. It was all normal. Yet special.
Noor and Rayyan's own relationship had now seen and lived every initial base. And each day made them fall for each other some more. There were few bumpy rides too. Few things where they wouldn't agree on things. But they knew how to show the other the side of the story not yet seen. They knew how to have fun in their own way. Lighting up each other's damp mood. Their love hadn't been the kind of sensing each other's presence in the crowd but they knew they'd always find each other in crowd if they they ever got lost.
He was never the patient one but with her he had discovered the traits he never knew were in him. Love had scared him off. The idea of getting her into his messed up past had closed him off. But she had pushed away all the inhibitions he was holding onto. The first touch came like a first drop of rain and then there was a dam broken. There was no resistance to his love anymore. He was always in control but he knew without coming close to her, he'd combust. It wasn't just about a physical touch. It had formed an other connection between them. A connection which took its time but now it was working its way. Falling into this aspect of their relation had come so easy.
It had always felt like a homecoming.
And they had always been each other's home.
They knew with everything sorted, now this was going to stay an eternity. Their eternity. Together. Forever.
______________________
Rohail and Zirwa's marriage was fixed almost three months from the day the green signal was given by them. There were preparations going on. They had ample of time so everyone was slowly and with great attention taking part in the preparations.
Abeer sighed deeply and sat down on the couch after just discussing the bridal dress details with Zirwa over the phone. She had a good taste in ethnic wear so Zirwa was leaning onto her for the dresses. Noor was taking care of other departments and to say Zirwa was excited, would be an understatement. The girl was literally having the best time of her life. For a person who was so reluctant to give this idea a chance, Zirwa surely had come a long way.
As Abeer opened her mail, her eyes scanned the inbox with a mix of apprehension. She was dreading that one notification which would definitely pop these days. And she didn't have to wait. The mail had come.
Her acceptance mail from NYU. She smiled weakly. Her dream was going to be turned into a reality. The corners of her mouth were lifting upwards in an expression of delight but she had seen a figure in the corner of her eyes. Looking up, she found Haseeb sitting there talking to Rohail about something they had just gone to together.
She felt her heart beating loudly and then coming to a low rhythm. Haseeb glanced in her direction and smiled warmly. She didn't reciprocate.
There were two extremes in this room for her. One was vague. Unknown. Yet inviting.
Other was planned. Clear. Pulling her in.
What future she'd hold onto. She also had no clue.
____________________
Rayyan Ahmed Khan wasn't a man of losing his bearings. Not when it came to business. He was always calculated and in control but right now he was anything but that. His heartbeat was coming in a rapid noise he could hear even though the surroundings weren't that silent.
He had gone to Bhurban for a new deal. The meeting had wrapped up with the project in his hand. He was to get back home in the evening but the unforeseen circumstances had happened. Sudden storm and land sliding had caused an accident and now they were stuck on road. He always preferred driving himself but this time around he was with his driver. The connection was lost. He didn't know how to reach out and tell his family that he was safe and would be back home soon.
It had been four hours he was stuck in the traffic and now slowly they were moving forward towards the main city. The situation was getting under controlled but Rayyan's mind wasn't at peace. He knew by now Noor would've made herself sick from worrying. He just hoped someone was with her but chances were slim because it was almost midnight and she wouldn't have called anyone. He knew how mindful she was regarding these things.
A breath of relief left his lips seeing the familiar roads and shadow of hills leading to the city. He would be home in just few minutes. The network wasn't still reachable which meant he'd make sure Noor was okay right after reaching home.
He had almost leapt out of the car once it stopped in the porch of the house. His semi damp coat was in one hand. He crossed the lounge, the kitchen space but the lights were dimmed indicating Noor wasn't there. The last spot was their room. He pushed opened the door with a thudding heart when he saw her sitting there on the bed almost bending down as if in pain. He could feel the worry radiating off her in waves.
"Noor..."
She had looked up in a nano second. The shock turned into utter relief and then into tear that too in the passage of just two seconds. She had slowly walked towards him. There were no questions exchanged. No answers demanded. She just melted into his arms and he in hers.
Her breaths were slow. As if inhaling his scent to tell her he was finally back home. Her long hair were tangled into his hands as he tried caressing her back to tell her yeah he was home. Back to her. He was fine and they were safe.
"I thought I lost you."
"Don't be crazy. It was not that bad."
"You were supposed to be back by seven. It's almost two in the morning."
"I know. It was all jammed up. I was stuck but wasn't in danger."
She hadn't said anything in reply. But her hold on him was still firm as if still believing her darkest of the thoughts weren't getting anywhere near to reality.
"Mr Rayyan Ahmed Khan, you are never going alone of a business trip ever again."
"Calling an hour and half drive a trip is kind of far fetched, wife."
"Whatever. It was land sliding! And it was scary. I'm on this bed for almost four hours now. I couldn't even call anyone because the time isn't right. My hands are still shivering."
Her voice was trebling too but he could do without pointing it out.
"Get changed. I just go and bring some water. My throat feels like rubbed with a sand paper."
She left his side trying to cover the signs of her discomfort but he was never a fool. Never in her case anyway.
"Noor, I'm okay. I'm here."
He had said that making soothing circles on her arm. She closed her eyes nodding.
"I know."
"Then belie....."
His sentence was cut short when his eyes fell on the bed. A blue object was a contrast with the pure white. He took two steps and held it in his hands.
"This...."
It was his sweater. The one he had long forgotten because he couldn't find it.
"Your sweater. You left it behind when leaving the village. I found it. I kept it."
She wiped her tears which were not again rolling down her cheeks.
"You said mt scarf was a memory. When nothing was there, it was. It's just you aren't the only one who tried to hold onto a memory in the form of something to keep. To touch. To feel."
He had cupped her face trying his best not to let her break. But she was breaking. This had hit her harder than he had thought.
"When you weren't coming back and I got to know about what happened, I took this one out. Because I just wanted an assurance that you were there. Somewhere. When you were gone from the village, I wasn't that deep in love with you. But that still hurt. This was my solace. And now, when you are such a huge part of my life. I don't know If I ever lost you, how I'll cope. Because nothing will provide me with the solace. No memory. No remnant. I just need you. Or else I'm also as good as dead. "
Her control had snapped and sobs were now racking her body. Rayyan immediately made her look into his eyes by holding her from the side of her face. His lips fell every nook of her face they could find. Starting from eyes to the corner of her mouth. Every inch. Every corner.
"I'm here. Close. Just yours. I'm not going anywhere. You aren't losing me. Never."
Her cries had subsided but the pain was still evident. Rayyan wiped the tears stains from her cheeks kissing them in the process. He had tossed the sweater aside. While his eyes ran across the room at the closet where the white scarf was still there. Somewhere.
He hadn't given it much thought but now the feeling of being loved by someone you love irrevocably was coming in full force. Was he this lucky? The woman he'd loved with all his heart and soul was as much in love with him. Not more. Not less. He fell before her but she fell too. Deep. For never coming back. This was the journey. This was the destination. They were the travelers. But they were each other's destiny as well.
"You know what? I love you."
Noor had chuckled for the first time he'd pulled her in his embrace.
"Feelings are mutual."
She had looked up with a glint in her eyes. Rayyan just shook his head. Pulling each other's words was so their thing.
Noor had hid her face in his chest once again inhaling deep. Tonight wouldn't be easy to forget. Tonight told her how important his existence was for her and how she couldn't live with even the idea of not having him around.
Now she knew how he must've felt when she was in the hospital that night. She hadn't given it much thought but now she did and this feeling was the worst. The fear had almost eaten her up from within. No other person had come to her mind when she was worried for him. He had said she was his family and he was a part of hers.
But when it came to him, she'd forget even her own existence. If this wasn't something then she didn't know what was.
Breathing in deep she just closed her eyes.
Who knew home could be summarized in just a person. Hers did. His too.
They were home.
And they were each other's home.
___________________
Three months wasn't long period. Not by any means. The preparations had gone well. There was so much to do but when you have a family as supportive as the Khans, worry should be just thrown out of the window. Rohail smiled seeing the way his family was all worked up around him. It was the first function of the wedding today and everyone was both excited and energetic. He was asked to be ready in just half and hour so they could leave for the venue.
Rayyan and Noor were supposed to join them directly there. Rayyan had an important project to wind up which he had the day before the celebrations had begun but still there was paperwork due which he was supposed to finish today evening. He had texted Rohail that it was done so he and Noor would join them in few hours.
"Why are you taking this long to get ready? How long does it take to put on a kurta and comb your hair?"
Abeer had barged inside his room all ready in her pink lehanga. Rohail rolled his eyes.
"I'm the groom, remember."
"Is this your excuse?"
"It's my reason!"
"Not a good one."
She had pushed him away standing before the mirror and setting her loose curls over her shoulder.
"Yeah, take your time. We can wait for the majesty."
Just like any mature person with no counter argument, Abeer just stuck her tongue out at him. Who could say this child had graduated and was flying to USA in just five days. They all still found it hard to believe.
"You know what is better than my marriage?"
"My face?"
"No, the fact that you'll be gone in like what? Five days!"
A shadow had passed over Abeer's face but she covered immediately.
"Your days of glory are finally starting. Now hurry up or mom will start your wedding function without you. Come on!"
She had pulled him outside of his room where Saliha and Hammad were already waiting for them. The smiles around them were heartwarming. Saliha had tears in her eyes seeing an other boy of her starting a new life. Both Hammad and Rohail had gotten busy into stopping the waterworks while Abeer just stood in a corner oblivious to this.
Five days.
______________________
Noor adjusted the duppata on her bun with an other exasperated sigh leaving her mouth. Her fingers were fixing the corner of the shirt of her lehanga so that she could cover what she was trying to cover.
The door of the closet opened and the whole room filled with the smell of a very familiar after shave. Fiddling with the buttons of his black kurta, Rayyan ran his fingers through his damp hair but stopped looking at a glaring Noor.
"What I did now?"
She just huffed and turned back to the task in hand. Rayyan scowled and taking two long strides, stood right behind her. His eyes immediately went to the corner of her shirt she was trying to adjust. A small patch of red was shining there. His eyes traveled from that to the angry face of his wife.
"Wow, someone was wild last night, don't you think?"
Noor pushed his shoulder away.
"You are such a perv, I can't with you. I can't cover it! And I want to pull your hair off for giving me this smirk! Drop it!"
"What? I was just appreciating the work."
"You think this is funny?"
"No, I just think I'm a man of achievement."
"It's a bloody hickey! Have you even a slight idea how embarrassing this is going to be if someone sees it?"
"Language, wife. And you are getting worked up over nothing. Come here."
He pulled her back towards him and pulling her shirt over the skin, pinned it with her duppata. Now everything was covered and her duppata was also looking nice flowing down her bun.
"Done."
Noor wanted to hug him for solving this problem of hers but his smug expressions had taken away his brownie points. He was the one who caused it. He was the one who managed it. There was nothing to be proud of.
"Now, are you still angry with me."
She just picked up her clutch from the side table.
"I'm waiting in the car."
Giving him an other not so pleased look she was out of the room. Rayyan wan;ted to laugh at the comical situation. She had just pulled his word on him not realizing the keys were with him only.
"Yeah, good luck with that."
He had mumbled turning back to his hair. He loved a riled up Noor more than anything. No matter if she had the abilities of smother him in his sleep. Anger looked cute on her.
Or may be he was a fool in love.
Whatever.
____________________
The function had started. The out of the blue shy Zirwa or not so cocky Rohail were getting all the teases from their family. The Khans had invited all their close friends and family members. Izma, Zarnab and Saboohi were also present. Maheen was getting all the love she was now used to because everyone likes a fairy in red. Noor and Saliha were checking all the arrangements like the two main ladies of the house they were. The men were engrossed in a discussion sitting in the far corner of the lounge. The sweet smell of flowers and happiness was making every mind relax.
Noor was talking something to Saliha when she felt the familiar feeling of a gaze on her. She wanted to turn around and glare at him but this wasn't a decent thing to do with the whole family around. He shouldn't have been so smug earlier. Now he be ready to face her silent treatment. And he wasn't very patient when it came to someone providing him just silence. That much she knew.
Turning to the other side, Noor starting arranging the plate when she felt a tug on her lehanga. She looked sideways and found Maheen.
"Maheeb baby, what? Are you tired or hungry? "
"No. I'm okay. You know, Mr Khan?"
Noor wanted to snort.
"Yeah?"
"He says too much anger isn't good for health."
Noor narrowed her eyes and looked up in his direction who was nodding with an innocent face telling her how right Maheen was.
"Really? This is mature. Real mature."
She said pulling Maheen in her lap. Rayyan got the point. She was calling him immature for using a kid as his messenger. Rayyan looked away feeling he'd laugh out loud if this keep on going. He watched Rohail and Zirwa talking in hushed tone with each other. Wow. He was getting it good. That ass. Only he was unlucky tonight. Way to go RAK.
He saw Noor making her way towards the kitchen and like every obedient husband, he'd follow her.
"How long are you going to be angry with me?"
He had straight come to the point. Noor placed the plate on the counter and folded her arms on her chest.
"How long do you think?"
"Not even this whole night. I can bet. Just making sure we are on the same page."
Noor gave him a incredulous look as if telling him he was impossible. Rayyan just shrugged his shoulders.
"It's the truth. We can't stay mad at each other for long."
"Don't make me prove you wrong."
She had said already moving out of the kitchen. He stood there. Whom to curse? His cockiness or her stubbornness?
__________________
Izma smiled at the way Maheen was so at home with everyone around. She was having the time of her life as it was the first closed one wedding for her. Right now sitting on Umar's lap, Maheen was asking him about something to which he was fully attentive. Izma was surprised to see him when he had arrived at the Mehandi ceremony. But he had been such a massive support during Noor's case so it was totally fitting that he was in Khans small friend circle.
"She's such a happy baby."
Izma came out of her musings hearing the voice of Saliha who had just sat down close to her.
"Yeah, she's always been. Got that from Noor I guess."
Both Saliha and her eyes darted towards Noor who was laughing at something Zirwa and Abeer were saying.
"It feels so good, seeing every person worthy of happiness getting it. Specially your family, auntie. You, uncle, Rayyan. It feels good that you all are doing so fine. And my sister too. Seeing her this happy makes me want to tell the whole world that this is it. Happy ever after exists."
"What about yours?"
Izma shook her head.
"Not now, Auntie."
"Why not? He's still waiting you see."
Izma wasn't looking at Saliha. Her focus had gone back to the happy duo of Umar and Maheen. The night of a month back was flashing in front of her. Umar's hopeful face as he had asked her the question she had never thought he would. In their few months old friendship, she had never thought Umar was thinking on some other lines. He wanted a stable relation with her. Why her? She won't ever understand. But this was bizarre. She had always felt it was. How could she give her life an other chance when there was so much baggage still involved. She hadn't told anyone about this new development. But Saliha came to be the person she had confided into. She had listened to Izma. Her doubts. Her inhibition. And every time she had told Izma holding Umar's hand was the best choice. He wasn't oblivious to what had happened to Izma. He knew and was somehow had a part in this. Still he was coming with everything he had to hold Izma's hand. This was something.
"But he doesn't have to wait."
"He will because somewhere he also knows that you want it. You want to have a future with him."
"Auntie,..."
"Listen to me. You and Noor are so alike when it comes to this selflessness. She used to think she is no good for Rayyan. That is an other debate that he wasn't any less in thinking he doesn't deserve Noor. But Noor held the hand he had put forward. See them today. So happy. So in love. So contented. They didn't have it easy but they did it. Together. You finally have someone to have the same."
"But I do not need anyone."
"That's your misconception. Everyone needs someone. Those who say they don't, they lie. Today you are coping well. But with time it will become difficult. That time you'll need someone. Life becomes beautiful with love but love isn't always everything. Sometimes you just need a companion. For a lifetime. Who will be with you through thick and thin. You'll not let you falter. When you have that someone in life, love becomes a secondary thing. You are afraid that you won't be able to love him. But what if love isn't what you both need? What if it's just the feeling of having each other in life. Just that? And I can say it's that only. Don't fret about the future, Izma. Look at your daughter. He values her and he values you. Love isn't important."
"What if it is?"
"In that case, Hammad and I never did that kind of love. We always saw each other as best friends. But when our relation changed we started seeing the pillars in each other one needs to get through life. We are still each other's support system. He can't function without me. I can't without him. This is more important."
Izma couldn't say anything. This was exactly what she was worried about. Love. But what if love wasn't even needed? What if it wasn't time for love. It was time to new chances. Love will find a way. And even if it didn't, she knew they'll have each other. She needed trust and support. He was giving that. Nothing else was needed.
She quietly got up from the seat and made her way towards Umar and Maheen. Both were standing now still talking about something Izma had no clue about. She just saw Umar enclosing his hand around Maheen's guiding her towards somewhere. Izma stood close to them when Umar finally saw her. His immediate response was flashing her a warm smile.
Izma reciprocated it. After so long she had smiled back at him. He was again talking to Maheen when Izma held forefinger of his other hand in hers. Silently. Subtly. Without saying anything. Without telling anything.
He didn't look back. The corners of his mouth turned into a smile. He did just one thing.
Holding the hand she had wound around his. Quietly. But saying so much.
_____________________
If he thought Noor's silent treatment would end soon, he was wrong. She didn't talk to him at all the hole function. Their family hadn't noticed that there was something going on. Or else some questioning was bound to happen and that would've been awkward to say the least.
After the ceremony had ended, he was hoping to have this weird situation to also end. But Noor wasn't on same page. Who car ride back home she didn't even look in his direction. Which fool's idea it was that feisty looked cute on her? She could be real badass when it came to it and right now, her silent treatment was nothing but that. He sighed. This was insane. And he wasn't letting it go on more than it had. So much fuss over a hickey? How this was fair?
They were in there room where Noor was dodging all his attempt at making a conversation while he stood in the middle not knowing what to do. This was the first time such a serious yet comical situation had occurred.
"Okay, this is getting on my nerves. You can't always stay mad at me."
"Weren't you paying attention? I've been doing that all evening."
"I know, I was an arrogant ass back then. But can we move past that? You are taking your revenge quite fine. I'll give you that."
Noor pulled her hair up in to a messy bun not taking her eyes off him. The stare down went on for few seconds when she went down on her side of bed.
"Really?"
He had mumbled. With a grunt, he switched off the lights and took his side. The room had went to complete dark and complete silence.
It had been ten minutes. Not that he was counting. Or may be he was. Whatever but he could feel Noor slowly moving towards her usual pillow aka his arm.
"What do you think you are doing?"
"I'm getting my comfortable position back."
"But the last thing I know, you were angry with me."
"Was I? I don't remember. Can you please give me the arm now. I can't sleep and I want to sleep."
Rayyan felt like laughing. This had turned way more humorous that it should've been. They were having a messed up situation over nothing. How easily she had forgotten it. But may be these kind of baseless arguments and situations were normal among couples.
"I'm still the same cocky ass."
"I think I can live with that. I'm also the same wife who knows how to push her husband's wrong buttons over nothing."
She had wound her arm around his waist. They just had the most bizarre situation of their lives. He acted cocky and she acted childish. That made the two of them. Two people who could be anything around each other.
"You are never giving me the silent treatment again. Next time we are having full on fight. Argument. But this not talking to each other thingy is exhausting."
"I second this."
Her voice was a bare whisper. And soon she was asleep. Rayyan kissed the side of her face and drifted off to a peaceful slumber himself.
They were not two people brought together by their sorrow. They were normal. As normal as any couple out there. And that was the beauty of it all.
______________________
The yellow hue of the setting sun was falling down on the plush garden of the wedding venue. The guests were all seated. Bright colors. Bright smiles. Faces radiating warmth and so much more. The bride and groom were receiving the congratulations hand in hand. The families around them were leaving no chance to tease them. The Khans were happy. There was no two ways about it.
Abeer placed her hands on the railing looking over at the sunset. The ceremony downstairs was coming to an end. The Rukhsati was in just few minutes. She had enjoyed this wedding to the fullest. But right now the feeling of how half of it was already done, had shaken her. The wedding coming to an end meant there would be just two days for her to leave for NYU. And honestly, she hadn't even thought if she'd be going or not.
The decision was made long back. She'd be completing her post graduation from her dream university. But now she was faltering. The reason was simple. A very simple yet very confusing enigma that her brother's best friend was.
"Here you are! Everyone looking for you downstairs. It's just ten minutes to the rukhsati."
His voice had announced his arrival. Abeer didn't leave the railing. It was calm. It was good.
"Why this melancholic face? You are groom's sister not bride's."
She looked right ahead smiling lightly.
"I'm leaving for USA in two days, Haseeb."
He stopped. An expression of understanding falling on his face.
"Yeah, I know."
"So? This is what you going to say?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Something, anything. Any promise."
He shook his head.
"No, no promises."
"Why not?"
"What you want me to do? Make promises to you? Contain you?"
"Love isn't containment!"
"In this case this will be. What are we? Just two people who have discovered their feelings for how long? Weeks? Your whole life is right in front of you, Abeer. And I won't be stopping you from choosing the best for you. Even that's not me. You are going to a new place. You'll meet new people. You'll be in a whole new phase of your life. I don't want anything here to pull you back if something better is happening to you. And are we ready for a long distance relationship? This relation is so new right now. We can't put something as huge as a long distance on it."
"What if I don't go? What if I stay here. With you!"
"You are making me realize how right I'm to have this decision. You are not missing out on life just because you are in love. No! You are going there. You are fulfilling your dreams. You are doing everything you've ever wished for doing. And if after all this, you still find a place in your heart for a certain named Haseeb Tahir, I'll be there. Still."
"That's about tomorrow! What about the present? What are we?"
"Just two people who have something but right now, isn't the right time."
"So, am I just supposed to forget you?"
"No, you are supposed to remember other things in life. Far more important. Your career. Your exposure. Your self."
The tears were rolling down her cheeks. This was what she was afraid of. She knew this would happen.
"I do not like you, Haseeb Tahir. Not one bit."
She had said almost running from there. Haseeb kept on looking at her retreating back.
Loving is important. Letting that love live is far more than that.
_______________________
Noor made Zirwa sit down on the couch setting her heavy bridal attire. The ceremony was done and not even a second was there they hadn't enjoyed. They were back home now and before taking Zirwa to her new room they were going to give her some rest.
"Your shoes are killing your feet aren't they?"
Zirwa had asked looking down at Noor's feet.
"They are. I think I should go and ask Abeer for a pair of shoes. These are really not comfortable. Such a waste of money."
Noor made her way towards Abeer's room loosening the strap of her heels.
"Abeer!"
She had pushed the door slightly only to be shocked seeing Abeer hunched over the side crying like a baby.
"Abeer! What happened?"
Noor had immediately reached her side holding her face in a motherly manner.
"It's over. It got over before even starting."
"What are you talking about and why are you crying like this. Please no."
"How I tell him this can work. He's not thinking about us. Just me."
Noor smoothed her hair trying her best to make her stop. But Abeer was still weeping. As if something was lost.
"Who is it?"
Noor had asked but she had a clue. She knew something was going on.
"Haseeb....He said...he .."
She hadn't completed her sentence. Just hugged Noor tight shedding the tears on a lost love. Noor caressed her hair while her eyes went to the door where a stony Rayyan was standing.
_________________________
The familiar air of the airport filled with a feeling of sadness.
"You need something, Kiddo?"
Rohail had asked Abeer who shook her head. She was checking something in her hand carry. Rohail sat down close to her while the other side was occupied by Rayyan.
"You are to immediately call us as soon as you land there."
"Try to get to your accommodation as soon as you can."
"Stay away from strangers."
"Eat healthy. We do not want you throwing your gut out the first thing when you are there."
"Keep yourself warm."
"And stay away from the gu...."
"Can you two please shut it?"
Noor had interjected with an exasperated look on her face. They were in there big brother mood and that was not a very pretty sight.
"What? We are just being careful."
"And annoying. Leave her alone. She's not a kid."
Abeer stopped the smile on her face and gave a gratitude filled look to Noor who nodded back at her.
"I'll take care guys. But you have to promise me something else."
"What is that?"
"Do not miss me much. Both of you."
"Ha! That won't be hard. Trust me on this one."
Rohail had said but everyone knew how sad they were on the prospect of sending their baby sister away. Zirwa pulled Rohail from his arm.
"Let's get everyone some coffee. Come on."
She gestured Noor who had already seen someone coming from the side.
"I'm not a coffee person. Get me some tea! Come on you!"
"But, Noor..."
Rayyan wanted to know how she'd be having her third cup of tea in a single day but this was Noor and everything was possible.
Haseeb had seen Noor and Zirwa not so subtly taking their husbands away. He silently stood next to Abeer who was now looking at nothing in particular.
"Hi."
"Hey, I almost thought you wouldn't turn up."
"I couldn't miss this. Seeing you."
"For one last time?"
"May be. May be not. But yeah. I had to come."
They were silent now. Two people who always had to much to bicker on, were out of words.
"Will you miss me?"
"I already do."
"I wasn't the one who pushed the possibility of us away."
"I know. But trust me. I did it for us only."
"For me. Precisely. But that's not the debate I want right now. I want to part ways on a happy note. A clear slate."
Haseeb nodded extending his hand. This was the clear slate he wanted her to have. To shake off all the thoughts and start her new life with peace and calm.
Abeer placed her hand in his shaking it lightly. This was the most formal end to a bonding which was never formal to begin with.
"All the best."
"You too."
Her response was curt. It was acceptable. For what he had done, she wouldn't be so pleased with him anyway. Saliha and Hammad had joined them and Abeer had gotten busy into having her goodbyes with her parents. Haseeb retraced slowly as if moving away from her life picture. But he only bumped into someone he was trying to avoid these days.
"In a hurry, bud?"
Rayyan had asked with a cut in his tone. Haseeb wasn't expecting anything less.
"I was expecting bumping into you..."
"We work together, Haseeb. Bumping isn't the right word here."
"I know. Look, Abeer..."
"She'd cried more tears on you than all her life combined. I should really fix your face for you and I really want to. But ...As much as I wish I wouldn't but I do understand where you are coming from."
"You do?"
"When I found out, I was livid. You weren't safe that day but Noor contained me. She showed me how you were doing the exact same thing I did when I had left Noor when she asked me to. But here things are different. She doesn't want it, Haseeb."
"You think I want to be the bad guy in her story? In our story? I've learnt from you only, RAK. I know what selflessness in love means. I just want her to not miss out on anything in life just because she has feelings for me."
"And what if she falls out of love?"
"Isn't this the whole point? If she falls out of love then I was right in giving us this space."
"And what if she doesn't?"
"Then I'll wait for her. You can have my word on it."
Rayyan sighed. He knew neither Abeer nor Haseeb was wrong. The circumstances were. He could only hope and pray for these two fools to get their happy ever after.
"I trust you with this but don't think there won't be questions about how you went out for my sister, you asshole!"
"We can talk about it on breakfast tomorrow?"
"You are not invited to my house. Not anymore."
"You don't have to fret. Noor has already invited me."
Rayyan shook his head. Haseeb waved at him in a adios gesture and was soon out of the sight. Rayyan went back to his family where Abeer was just about to go and board her flight. She had hugged him one last time but he knew this wasn't the end. Her and Haseeb's story had more to it. They just had to find out.
________________________
Clear sky has an own charm of it. And looking at it is like looking at a clear canvas. To put a new story there. New colors. New everything. Noor drew back the curtains and stared at the blue sky for a long time.
Beginnings were always nice. Today was going to be one as well. A beginning to something new. Bigger. Better.
The project she was a part of, had served it purpose. That too well. The effort which had been started six months back was now in its full form. They were invited to a special ceremony by the high officials to give them the deserved accolades for their work. Noor had worked on the front line. She was now considered one of the most acclaimed social worker the country had to offer. She had her affiliation with H & D intact. And that organization was also doing fine. Zirwa had taken over the main office after her marriage and now she was making it reach new heights.
Rohail and Zirwa were a happy couple. No one could say these two people were out there for each other's blood the first time they had met. They were so in love and so understanding towards each other. Noor could just pray for it to always stay the same.
The development which had come to her as a complete shocker was Umar and Izma's relationship. It had been two months to their Nikkah but Noor still found it hard to believe that it had happened. Her Aapa was now in the best place in her life. Noor knew this was the reward for losing so much. Life was giving it back to both Izma and Maheen just like it had given it to her.
Six months for had it been. Abeer was settled and doing well in NYU. She had found people she vibed with. Her course was what she had always wanted to study. Experiencing new things and meeting new people had left a very good impact on her. The Haseeb chapter was closed. She hadn't brought it up again. And Noor hadn't asked. It wasn't something for her to solve. Abeer and Haseeb were adults and they knew what they wanted from life. Noor just hoped that it was each other that they really wanted in the long run.
As far as her own life was concerned, well. Noor looked at his sleeping form. So peaceful. They had celebrated their first wedding anniversary just few months back. An year of marriage. And it already felt like an eternity. It was an eternity to last.
Drawing the curtains back, she got inside the covers placing her head on his chest.
A warm cocoon.
Always had.
Always would be.
_____________________
Noor had taken the certificate of excellence with shaky fingers. Her slightly misty eyes went towards the crowd. Her eyes met with the familiar blue ones who was flashing a smile filled with so many emotions.
This was her journey. As a human. She was subjected to a fate she had no say in. Tricked. Traded. But she didn't give up. Escaped it all. Life made her meet people who were going to stay in her life forever. Life made her bump into in her home. The same home smiling at her now.
This was not easy. Coming out as a winner. But she did. Her steel didn't melt. Neither did she.
And in all this the real support had come from the man in front of her. Sometimes as her savior. Sometimes as a wake up call to get a life. Sometimes as an indirect protection. Sometimes as someone who had found her after all. Sometimes as a husband. Sometimes as a lover. Sometimes as a friend.
He was so much. But he was the one and only.
Hers.
And that was going to stay.
His
Tonight was a night to reflect back how much had happened and how it was all for the good. There were dark clouds on the way back.
It was going to rain.
Him. Her. Rain
A combination that would always make it all more worth it.
"It's about to rain."
"How it can't! Our happiness and rain go hand in hand."
Stopping the car he came out of it to get inside the house when she stopped him. He had just smiled. No protests. Nothing.
Because tonight drenching in rain was like calling a memory back. Living some moments which had made them, them.
They just stood there. Drenching. Looking at each other.
Rain kept falling.
Petrichor.
Just a drop. But the effect? A lifetime.
______________________
Turning twenty nine was not the highlight of his day but his wife secretly arranging for a romantic dinner in their house was what he was more looking forward to. Noor was always enthusiastic about his birthdays. She loved celebrating those. He never stopped her but it was relief that it'd be just the two of them this year. Last year they had a whole family party and he wouldn't say but that was kinda embarrassing. Who celebrates turning close to thirty anyway?
This time around Noor had preferred just a dinner. Thank goodness. She had tried her best to keep it a secret but he was RAK for a reason. He had got to know. And he was enjoying it.
But the real reason for his happiness was neither his birthday not the dinner with his very beautiful wife. It was in his hand. Closed. Just in words. But such a huge reality. Changing everything.
Parking the car he looked above as if sending a silent thank you and made his way inside the house. The lights were dimmed. He had spotted his wife in the middle. Wearing his favourite color.
"Happy birthday!"
She had whispered in his ears. Her arms were around him while face was radiating the joy which could melt him whole being.
"See the arrangements! I know you don't like hyping birthdays up but you see my husband gets mature only once an year so I have to do something to make it special and you know....are you even listening to me?"
He was just looking at her.
"What?"
He pulled the envelop from his coat pocket and handed it to her.
"Have a look."
Noor was confused. But she opened the folded paper anyway. The more her eyes were running across the sheet in front of her, the more disbelief was covering her face.
"This...I...You..."
"Yeah. Parents."
The myriad of emotions running across her face had made him chuckle.
"A very happy birthday to me. Thank you, wife."
She was about to start with the water works but he had embraced her in a hug before that. She shook her head and hugged him back smiling and crying both at the same time.
It wasn't in their mind. This possibility. She was just two weeks along and they might not have known this early had she not been to their family physician for a regular check up just a day back. The doctor was trying Noor's number to let her know about the new development but she had switched it off. Rayyan was deliberately calling a lot today just to make her spill what she was planning for him so her only response was switching her phone off. Well, this came as a blessing because this situation had turned into such a blessing.
"I still can't process it. I mean we...are going to be parents."
"We so are. This is going to be so ...magical I can already tell."
"It is so going to be. And just so you know, I got know before you."
"We are not doing this!"
"We are not but still just to let you know, I got to know before you."
"I can't with you!"
The bickering was going on. The happiness was running around them in a halo of joy and everything nice.
________________________
Abeer sat down on the chair in the lawn looking over at the neighboring kids playing. Ths family was her favourite. Over the span of her arrival here, they'd been her family out of family. Aaliyan, Haniya and their two girls were what Abeer liked to call family goals, of course after her own.
"Are you done with packing?"
Haniya put the two mugs of coffee on the table.
"I think I'm. I'm not ready though."
"Your post graduation is completed, Abeer. There's no point staying here. Unless you want to have a future here itself."
"No, I always knew that I wasn't here forever. But still going back seems like a huge change."
"Just like coming here was?"
"Precisely."
Haniya took a sip of the hot beverage looking at how Aaliyan was getting a scolding from the little one. She loved it.
"Is it because of him?"
"Him, who?"
"Really, Abeer?"
Haseeb had become a past she was never getting over. She had visited home just once in these two years and that time he was away at a business trip to France. It felt like boon to her but somewhere she was bitter on not getting the chance to see him. It had been so long.
"Do you still love him?"
"I don't know. Sometimes I think I do. And sometimes I think may be that was just me being childish. I wasn't that mature that time."
"And you question why he gave up on you two? This is why. This what he didn't want to happen."
"What do you think? Does he still love me?"
"I can't talk for him. But that time he had loved you. Only a man in love can have the courage to let go of his love so that the other person can thrive in life. He didn't let his love become the hurdle in your path. That's something."
Abeer sighed. Everyone kept on telling her he did what he did because he loved her but she still found it hard to believe. He hadn't given her anything to hold onto. What had he said? That they'll start it whenever she wanted. He ended it when she wanted it to start.
"I know you are angry. I'd be too if I were you. But in two years there isn't a single day you haven't thought about him. You have cried from him, Abeer. You still do. You have achieved so much in life. The same way he wanted you to. You say you don't know about your feelings anymore but you are still in love. You never fell out of it. Do not try to fool your own self okay? If he reaches out, don't let that chance slip. That wasn't the time. But this is."
Abeer slowly got up making her way inside her small house she was sharing with a friend. Reaching her room she dropped herself on the bed. Her eyes were filling with tears again. She had told everyone that may be she was not on the same page she was two years back but in reality, she had never stopped loving him. Granted, his way of handling thing was a bit harsh. But his intentions were pure.
Her phone shaking in her hand. The familiar number was flashing in front of her.
Should she?
Was this the time?
May be or may be not.
But may be this was the only chance on getting back the love she had to sacrifice because of the circumstances.
"You have told me that it will happen whenever I want it to happen. I wanted it then, you didn't give. What if I say I want it now? Will you give it to me? Will you say it to me?"
She had sent the text. It should've been a call but may be she wasn't that strong.
She waited.
Two minutes. The screen flashed again after two minutes which could compare to two decades.
With trembling hands, Abeer opened the text.
"I love you. Always have. Always will."
A sob escaped her lips. She brought the phone close to her heart and closed her eyes.
Everything was right. And now, Time also was.
______________________________
"Coffee should be black."
Rayyan snorted turning the pancakes. From the corner of his eyes he could very well see a very pregnant and very happy Noor taking sips of the beverage she had vowed to never ever touch.
Pregnancy hormones.
These had turned his understanding occasional feisty wife into a tornado. Her moods were always moving in two extremes. From one to other. She would drive him absolutely crazy and then would start crying at her own mood. The one time she had whined over the fact that how she was becoming such a whiny mess. He was patient with her. As much as he could. But sometimes he felt like pulling his hair out.
"You still up for the pancakes?"
He had asked trying not to show the uncertainty in his voice. She could ask for both pancakes and paratha in a single breath. That unpredictable.
"Yes, why?"
"Nothing. On it."
He had gone back to the batter when she almost shook him by starting sobbing.
" What I did now?"
Noor just shook her head.
"Noor, Come on. The breakfast is about to be ready. Please don't cry. You want something else? I can arrange for it."
He had sat down close to her.
"I'm sorry."
Came the reply amidst the hiccups.
"Why?"
"I'm troubling you so much. I know I go crazy all the time but I swear this is not in my control."
He had taken her into his arms soothing her hair.
"Hey, I know that, okay. And do I ever complain? This is going to be so memorable for us. After the baby is born, we'll have so much to look back to. To laugh over. To cherish. These are the memories we are making. So no, do not feel about it. Never. Now is it still a yes for pancakes or I should start with parathas?"
"Parathas would be nice. And take the coffee away. Give me tea!"
He wanted to laugh. This was gold.
"On it, ma'am."
______________________________
It were the most agonizing five hours of his life. From coming to the hospital to just standing there in the waiting area. But like every wait this also had passed.
He was first one to hear the cry. The cry which had made his heart stopped beating for a second.
He was a father.
A tear of happiness had rolled down his cheeks. This baby won't ever know how much loved it was. This kid was going to get all the love in this world. Because Rayyan Ahmed Khan was going to give his child a childhood nothing like his own.
Whatever happened after that was in a haze. Everyone around him was congratulating him. Doctor had come out announcing it was a girl.
A baby girl.
His baby girl.
He was the first one to get the permission to go in there.
A thudding heart and lots of nerves were with him when he entered the room. Noor's exhausted form was the first thing he had noticed.
"Hey."
He had called. She looked up with a smile playing on her lips.
"You did it. Like a fighter. Thank you."
He had dropped a chaste kiss on her face taking the seat next to her. The baby was right in her arms.
So small. So tiny.But keeping a world in her.
"Here, hold her."
Noor had carefully placed the wrapped bundle of his happiness in his arms. She weighed nothing.
As he looked down at her, she had opened her tiny eyes. They were a mix of colors. But blue was evident.
She had gotten his eyes.
This was her first introduction to the world. She was looking at the person with her eyes who was going to be her number one guy. Her only hero.
Her tiny hand had grasped his finger tightly and Rayyan had fallen in love there. A love he would never come out of.
He had just found his world in his arms.
"She looks like you."
"She does."
He didn't wipe the tears that were pooling in his eyes.
"I can't believe she's ours."
"She is. Our Reyha."
"Reyha.."
"Reyha Katherine Khan."
Rayyan stopped. They had agreed on the name but not the full one. Noor was looking at him with pride and love shining. She knew what his mother meant to him.
" This can't get any perfect."
" Like you."
He shook his head dropping a kiss on her side of temple. They both kept on looking at the new addition to their home. A part of her. A part of him
Reyha's eyes were set on the window where the rain had just started
"It's raining, Rayyan."
" I know. It has been. For so long."
It was. It would. For eternity.
_____________________