Epilogue
Five years later
Portland, Oregon
Lisa and I entered café like we did every weekday morning before walking another two blocks down the street to the clinic where we worked. We usually came in for a snack or something to drink, but this time we had another purpose.
"This one." Lisa pointed to the booth at the very back of the café. I didn't like to be so far away from the door, but she liked to sit in the back when it was crowded like this. Nodding, I followed her and we both sat down on opposite sides of the table. We liked to see each other when we ate or talked. And one of us had to watch the door this time.
"So, what will it be this morning, kids?" the waitress asked. Her name was Megan and she always put extra butter on my toast. She was nice. I liked her.
Today she was wearing a long skirt and a red apron over a thin brown shirt. Normally I didn't notice what she wore but today she looked a bit different.
"The usual, I think." Lisa glanced at me and shrugged. "Unless Roy wants something different this morning." She added, raising her eyebrow.
"Well honey?" Megan raised her eyebrow as well, tossing her waist-length brown hair over her shoulder. She was Lisa's age, and pretty too. That should have made me more nervous, but it didn't. What was making me nervous was the looks on their faces. They were waiting.
I glanced between them, and swallowed. "I would like...I would like a...I mean I want-oh I can't do it!" I put my hands over my face and sighed. I heard Lisa giggling and peeked at her through my fingers.
"Well you got halfway there this morning." Megan noted, sticking her paper and pencil in her red apron pocket. "You almost said it." She gave a stiff nod and headed back to the kitchen.
Lisa let her head drift slowly in my direction. I closed my fingers and stopped peeking. "You were so close." I knew without looking that she was shaking her head.
"I can't say that to her. It sounds so bad." I mumbled.
"Megan likes it when guys say that stuff. She told me. That's why you're practicing on her." Lisa reminded me. I felt her gloved fingers prying at my hands until she pulled them away from my face. "Our fifth anniversary is coming."
"I know." I nodded.
"And I have only asked for one thing."
"I know," I put my head on the table.
"I want you to-"
"I know!" I wailed, throwing up my hands. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as several people looked over at our booth. Leaning across the table, I got closer to Lisa. "But I can't do it." I whispered.
She narrowed her eyes. "Everyone can do it."
I frowned. "I'm special."
"Yes you are," Lisa snickered, leaning back against the bench as she pulled off her gloves. I sat back as well and stuck my hands in the pockets of my white hoodie.
"But you love me though," I mumbled hopefully.
"More than life. Or Gerard Butler." She answered with a firm nod. "But would you please try one more time?"
"Can't I say something that sounds nice? I would never say that...that thing...to you." I glanced nervously at the counter, fearing the moment when Megan would come back and I would have to try again to flirt, for the hundredth, humiliating time.
"Fine, you can say whatever you want. Just be romantic." Lisa told me with a nod.
"Okay," I smiled at her. She smiled back.
___________________________________________________
He would probably fail miserably at it, but I would put him through it anyway. Roy was a man. A handsome, intelligent, disarmingly charming man. But he could not flirt for anything. No matter how hard he tried, he just ended up sounding awkward and embarrassing. But we had been together for five years.
Five years.
That's much too long without any flirting.
"You're very romantic. I know you can do it." I told him when I saw Megan heading our way. "You do sweet stuff for me all the time. You just need practice being verbally romantic."
Roy sat there looking at me with a tight face, his hands stuffed in the pocket of his hoodie. He didn't want to do this. Watching him struggle would be funny, but I did feel bad for him. Still, I knew he could do it.
"Eggs scrambled with pepper, toast, two slices of bacon each, and two peppermint teas." Megan announced as she set out food onto the faux wood table. "Can I get you kids anything else?" she inquired.
I looked at Roy. He was staring at me still. He wasn't even going to look at her. I let out a heavy, disappointed sigh.
"I'd like a tall order of Megan with some sexy on the side."
My jaw went slack.
"Dear god you said it." Megan grinned and started clapping. "Hallelujah! Everybody, Roy Dene just hit on me!" she cried, jumping up and down. Her ponytail swung wildly as she bounced and laughed.
I grinned at the flush on Roy's face at Megan's announcement. "You did it," I whispered, leaning toward him.
He smiled awkwardly, shaking his head.
"Now do me." I said, wiggling excitedly in my seat.
"It's not the day yet." He responded, placing his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. "I want to wait for the day."
"Oh fine," I sighed disappointedly.
He blinked at me as I picked up my fork.
"Don't do it." He whispered, shaking his head.
"Do what?" I shrugged innocently, spearing some eggs and taking a bite.
"The thing. The thing that you do with the silverware. Don't do it."
"You're not the boss of me." I blinked, pointing at him with my fork.
His eyes widened. "Please. Please don't do it?"
I nodded, laying my fork on the table next to my plate of food. "I'll try to restrain myself." I told him, shoving his plate an inch or two toward his elbow. "Eat. She'll take your food when she gets here if you don't. She's such a moocher."
Roy nodded and started eating his food. We talked between bites, about little things that neither of us cared about. I could tell as the morning went on that he was starting to get nervous. He didn't finish his food and he kept glancing at the door.
"She'll be here in like ten minutes. Roy," I reached out and covered his hand with mine. "It's not like you haven't seen her before."
He nodded, biting his lip. "I know, but...it's been a year..."
The table started to wiggle as he bounced his leg. "You talk to her every week."
"I know," he took in a small breath. "It's not her I'm worried about."
"Oh." I scrunched my nose, making a face. "Dalan is nice."
"Yeah," Roy glanced down at his half empty plate.
"And he doesn't care that you barfed on his jacket at the wedding." I reminded him, tucking my hair into my floppy knitted hat. "He knows you were nervous."
Roy groaned quietly, squeezing his eyes shut.
"At least it was after the ceremony. He didn't need his jacket then anyway." I noted, stuffing my gloves in my purse and getting up to sit on the other side next to Roy. He scooted over a bit to make room. "So stop being nervous." I told him as I sat down and took his hand again.
I felt him rub his thumb over the silver band on the finger of my left hand. He glanced down at it. I did the same. "Do you think she'll be mad?" he mumbled quietly, his eyes glued to the ring.
"That we're tying the knot? Attaching the ball and chain? Taking the plunge?" I blinked curiously. He sent me a sideways glance.
"I don't like it when you do that." He said, shaking his head.
I pressed my lips together, holding back a laugh. "I know it. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to do it." Roy turned toward me, his blue eyes wide and earnest. "You could have said no."
I sobered up immediately, shaking my head and leaning closer to him. "I want to do it. I've wanted to for a long time. I was just waiting." I told him.
The truth was that I had never been happier than I was the day he put the ring on my finger. We hadn't signed any papers, and nothing was official yet, but to me we were already closer than any two people could ever be. I knew Roy felt the same way. He just liked to do normal things. Getting married was the normal next step for us to take.
"You were waiting?" he repeated my words with a tinge of confusion in his voice. "What for?" he asked.
I bit my lip and started fidgeting with our hands. "Oh, you know...stuff..."
"Lisa," he frowned. "I'm never going to change my mind."
I smiled, refusing to meet his gaze. I knew he was serious, and that made me feel like a giddy idiot.
"That's why I want to do this," he tapped the silver band. "So you'll know that I mean it. So you'll stop doubting me."
"I don't doubt you. I never doubt you." I told him firmly. He was still frowning. "I love you, Roy. You're the only man that I would ever marry."
He nodded. "Okay."
"Because you love me. And you will never change your mind," I went on, poking him playfully in the side. He let out a laugh and scooted away from me, grabbing my hands and tangling our fingers together.
"No, I won't." he promised before leaning over to place a gentle kiss on my lips. He was always gentle when he kissed me, even now. As though he could break me. He still didn't understand that he was what made me whole.
"I guess we both have something to prove to each other," I mumbled, resting my head on his shoulder as he moved closer to me.
"You don't have to prove anything to me. I believe you when you tell me things." He responded, putting one arm around me. I felt him fidgeting with the material on the arm of my coat and smiled. He couldn't keep still when he was nervous.
"You trust me implicitly."
He nodded. "Yes."
"I haven't told you some things, you know." I pointed out with slight hesitation.
"What things?" he sighed, as though he wasn't worried at all. He probably wasn't. Roy knew he didn't have to be afraid anymore, not when it had anything to do with us.
"Little things. Well, just one, actually."
He pulled away slightly to look at my face. I smiled brightly at the look of curiosity in his eyes. "What thing?"
I opened my mouth to answer him but I giggled instead.
"Lisa?" he smiled, thinking I was just being silly.
"You know the only thing better than having you Roy, would be having two of you." I smiled and kissed him quickly. He looked at me, his eyes slightly narrowed as he considered my words.
He smiled awkwardly, shaking his head. "I don't un-"
We both glanced over as the bells hanging above the door to the café jingled loudly and Pam stepped in, followed closely by Dalan. They both wore heavy coats and hats, neither of them having re-acclimated to Portland weather after spending six months in Texas for their honeymoon.
"I'll explain later," I whispered to Roy. He had looked back at me, waiting for an explanation. But I wasn't going to answer him yet.
"Hey guys!" Pamela caught sight of us and raised her arm to wave, knocking Dalan's hat off his head by accident. His bright red hair was suddenly visible, the damp locks sticking out at odd angles as he scrubbed his head with his gloved hand and inched through the crowded room toward our table in the back.
"You made it!" I exclaimed, getting up and throwing my arms around Pam and then Dalan. They both gave me equally generous embraces that lasted just long enough for Roy to let go of his nerves and join in on the hug fest.
"I've missed you both so much!" Pam wailed dramatically, throwing her arms around Roy and squeezing him until his eyes widened and he coughed.
"I missed you too," he breathed as she released him.
Dalan stepped in next with a grin on his freckled face. He slapped an arm over Roy's shoulder, pounding him on the back eagerly. "Good to see you Roy," he said, genuinely excited. "Pam's been talking about seeing you again non-stop since we left Austin. Now I can get her to talk about me again."
"Dalan," Pam's eyes narrowed and she reached into the back pocket of her jeans.
"Yes darling?" Dalan blinked.
Pam handed him a comb and smiled. "You're flames are tangled."
I snickered as Dalan grinned sheepishly and ran the comb through his red hair, lowering himself onto the bench with his back to the door.
"People here call that a fashion statement." I noted, sitting down again. Pam plopped down on the bench beside me, leaving the seat next to her husband wide open for Roy. I watched him stand next to the table awkwardly for a moment, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
"Sit down, Roy." Dalan slapped the seat of the faux leather bench.
Roy flinched and then quickly sat down, sending me a pleading look just as Pamela turned to take off her coat. I held up my hands and shrugged. He sighed quietly.
"So," Dalan leaned an elbow against the table. "Five years. Now that's something to celebrate." He said, nudging Roy with his elbow.
"We're really happy," I said, smiling warmly at Roy. He was chewing his lip.
"And married." Pam pointed out, grabbing my hand under the table and holding it up. She slowly turned her head to look at me and then Roy, her eyes narrowed. "You could have at least sent me some cake. I mean really." she huffed, releasing my hand.
"No, we're not-" Roy began, but stopped to cough as Dalan slapped him across the back.
"Congratulations!" the older man grinned happily.
"It's just the band. We're not married officially until Tuesday." I clarified. "Our anniversary."
Pam's eyes widened. "Is that why we're here? For the wedding?" she blinked, her lips parting into a wide smile.
"Well no, actually." I mumbled, shaking my head.
"Oh." Pam pouted. "Well why then?"
"Got some other secrets to spill?" Dalan suggested, raising his pale red eyebrows. "Like a baby or something?"
"Dalan. You left your tact in the truck again." Pam frowned at him. He blinked in surprise. "Just shut up, sweetheart." She added. He sunk into the corner, nodding.
"It's her birthday."
I glanced over at Roy. He didn't look nervous anymore. Instead, he looked annoyed. "Roy it's okay, don't worry about it. People always forget-"
"Your birthday? Oh I didn't forget." Pam reached down and grabbed her purse from between her feet, digging through it for a moment while the three of us watched in silence. Finally, she pulled out something wrapped in rainbow paper and handed it to me.
I smiled and hugged her before tearing the paper away and staring down at a small white unicorn. The sight of it sent me reeling with laughter that bubbled up and overflowed until I couldn't stop or breathe.
"I thought you would find that amusing." Pam stated smugly.
"I am not a unicorn anymore," I announced, jamming the stuffed animal into the pocket of my coat. "Roy loves me, and knows I exist."
"That's why he's marrying you, I should think." Pam rubbed her hands together. "Now, about this wedding. What are your plans? Is this going to be a church gathering or are you going to run naked up a mountain somewhere?"
"Pamela, sometimes you say the weirdest stuff." Dalan mentioned, leaning forward to grab Roy's half empty plate of food. "Can I have this?"
Pam took the plate. "No. They were saving that for me."
"We just need witnesses and a license. It's a courthouse affair," I answered her stiffly, waiting for the rain of criticism.
"Bummer. I was already thinking about what shoes I would wear up the mountain." Pam sighed, her mouth full of toast.
"I thought you suggested running up the mountain naked," I mentioned.
She paused in her chewing to give me a look. "Naked doesn't mean no shoes."
"It doesn't?" Roy asked.
I laughed, shrugging at him. "I guess not."
"So where is your engagement ring?" Pam asked, glanced down at my hand again. When she didn't see it, her eyes snapped to Roy. "You did get her an engagement ring, didn't you?"
"That's the thing," I said before Roy had a chance to answer. "He did. But I won't let him give it to me until he does something first."
Roy looked startled, his cheeks turning red. "Lisa, don't," he mumbled.
"What does he have to do?" Pam asked deviously.
I glanced at Roy. Tell her I mouthed.
He shook his head.
"Anybody need anything?" Megan asked, sidling up to our table and winking at Roy. He sighed, shaking his head.
"Food, actually. Food would be good." Dalan said.
"Anything for you, Roy?" Megan blinked.
"No thank you."
I sighed, pressing my hand against my forehead as Megan rolled her eyes and walked away. "Roy," I groaned.
"Not with mom here," he mumbled quietly under his breath.
"What is this? Are you trying to get him a new girlfriend?" Pam demanded, looking troubled.
"No. I'm trying to get him to flirt." I answered.
"But I can't do it because I'm...not good at that kind of thing." Roy added.
"Yes you are." I argued. He shook his head in silence.
"Wait, is that the thing?" Pam pointed at me and then Roy. "Is that the thing he has to do before you get an engagement ring?"
"I'm wearing a ring already. The other one doesn't matter to me." I stated.
"It's pretty though. And I want you to have it," Roy urged, leaning toward me.
"Flirt with me then." I dared him.
He sat back. "No."
"Please?" I blinked.
"No. I tried. I can't."
"...please?" I stuck out my bottom lip.
He looked at me for several moments and gave a small sigh. "You have to be nice. Don't laugh," he ordered, pointing at me.
I nodded.
He pressed his hand through his dark hair, brushing it out of his face. "I don't know what to say, I really don't."
"Talk about her eyes." Pam suggested.
"Or her hat." Dalan added.
"You have beautiful eyes." Roy told me, his hands resting on the table as he leaned forward to be closer to me. I did the same until we were only inches apart.
"Thank you." I smiled at him. "What else?"
"They..." he swallowed. "They look like honey."
"Yeah?"
"And honey is like you." He said, brushing a strand of hair from my cheek. "Cause it's sweet."
Pam and Dalan started clapping, along with Megan who had been watching us from behind the counter.
I leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth, careful to move away before he got embarrassed. "Perfect. That was perfect." I said, grinning.
"Why was that so important?" he asked, confused.
"Because you said you couldn't do it." I answered him.
"Oh." He said, his eyes widening. I sat back and watched the realization cross his features. "Well I'm proud of myself now," he said.
"Nice job, Roy." Dalan nodded, knocking his fist against Roy's arm. He winced, but didn't stop smiling.
___________________________________________________
The visit didn't last very long. Lisa and I had work, but Pam and Dalan left first to do some puppy shopping.
"You guys are getting a puppy?" Lisa asked, surprised.
"We're looking for a big dog, like a German Shepherd or a pit bull. Just something to bark at the neighbor's cats and keep me company while Dalan goes on his trips."
"She gets a dog and I get a big, lonely eighteen wheeler." Dalan sighed.
"We're gonna name him Ray." Pam told us excitedly. "But don't worry honey, he won't get your room."
I opened my mouth to respond when Dalan reached out and smacked my arm again. It hurt, but I tried not to show it as he grinned at me and said his goodbyes. When Pamela came over to hug me, I got up and held her tightly.
She had gotten married to Dalan the year before, and I hadn't seen her since the wedding. I had missed her. A lot. I was glad to see her now and Dalan too. Lisa was right he was nice, when he wasn't hitting me.
"I'm back at the house now, Roy. And I won't be leaving again. It was way too hard not seeing you for so long. I missed you, kiddo." She said gently as she gave me a hug.
"Time to go. There's a puppy out there waiting to be loved." Dalan said. I watched as he wrapped Lisa in a tight hug, heaving a large sigh before letting her go. "So good to see you again. And happy birthday." He said, patting her on the head.
"Thanks Dalan," she laughed, adjusting her hat.
Pam pulled away from me and hugged Lisa, wishing her a happy birthday as well before the two of them left the café. Pam waved to me one last time before the door shut. I watched through the window as they walked along the sidewalk toward the parking garage a few blocks down.
"We have time to finish our tea before work," Lisa said, coming up behind me and taking my hand. I turned toward her and put my arms around her. "What's that for?" she asked when I pulled away.
"For proving something to me." I told her before reaching into my pocket and pulling out a small white box.
Lisa glanced at it momentarily before backing up and sitting down at the booth again. She scooted to the inside of the bench and patted the seat next to her, smiling brightly at me. "Come sit down and then be all romantic."
"Shouldn't you be standing up? And shouldn't I get down on my knees?" I asked uncertainly, glancing down at the scratched wood floors.
"Let's do it this way. It's cozier." She said, patting the bench one more time.
Nodding, I sat down beside her, turning on the bench so that we were facing each other. The box was still in my hand. I held it out to her. "Happy birthday. And almost anniversary." I said, smiling awkwardly as I opened the box. It had a small ring inside of it made of silver with a yellow stone. I had picked it, but I knew that Lisa would like it.
Without saying a word, she reached out and carefully pulled the ring from the box. I helped her put the ring on her finger and then held her hand as she looked at the stone.
"...Do you like it?" I asked hesitantly. I knew she would. I had seen her looking at it through the window months ago. I knew that this ring was the one that she wanted. But I hoped she would tell me that anyway.
"It's perfect." She glanced up at me and gave me a warm smile. "I love it. And I love you."
"Thank you for letting me give it to you," I said, relieved that she liked it and that I didn't have to carry it around with me anymore. I had been terrified of losing it for weeks, ever since I bought it.
"Thank you for flirting with me," she giggled, reaching up to tug on my hoodie playfully. I put my arm around her and held her while she sipped at her tea. I drank mine quickly, and then waited for her to finish.
I jumped when my phone started buzzing in my pocket. Pulling it out, I turned off the alarm. "We've got to go," I said, stuffing the phone back in my hoodie and glancing at Lisa.
She was holding her spoon up in front of her face and staring at it.
"Lisa," I frowned. "Don't."
"I must." She responded.
"You said you wouldn't." I reminded her.
"I said I would attempt to restrain myself." She corrected.
I heaved a sigh, shaking my head. "You do this every time. They are running out of spoons."
I gave up, leaning back in my seat as I watched the head of the spoon slowly curve back until the utensil was completely bent in half. Laying it down on the table, Lisa glanced up at me with a small smile.
When she saw the look on my face, she sighed. "I only did the spoon this time." She mumbled.
"We can't use our powers for evil." I reminded her.
"It's a spoon." She stated dryly as we both got up from the table. I reached for the spoon but she grabbed it first. "You may not unbend my spoon." She told me, sticking it in her pocket.
"That's stealing," I mentioned as she headed toward the door.
"It's bent. They don't want it," she called back as she crossed to the other side of the café and pulled the door open.
"That's bad, Lisa. You're being bad." I told her.
"Oh, nice one. You're getting better at flirting already." She said, stepping outside.
"That wasn't-I wasn't-" she laughed before I could finish and let the door close behind her. Sighing, I reached into my hoodie and pulled out a new, unbent spoon, placing it on the table before hurrying toward the door after Lisa.
When I stepped outside, she was waiting for me. I took her hand and we walked down the street toward the clinic.
"You put it back, didn't you." She said after we had been silent for a while.
"Put what back?" I blinked innocently.
"The spoon."
"No."
"A spoon." She corrected.
I hesitated. "...Yes."
"Good." She said, letting her head rest against my shoulder as we walked.
"Are you going to tell me now?"
"Tell you what?"
"That thing that you didn't tell me earlier." I answered quickly. We had nearly reached the clinic already, but I wanted to talk some more before we went inside.
"Oh. That one thing."
"Yes." I nodded. "Are you going to tell me?"
"Nope." She giggled.
"Why not?" I frowned.
"Because I don't know." She answered.
"You don't know why you won't tell me?"
"I don't know if there is anything to tell. Yet."
"Oh." I glanced over and saw her looking at me. She was still smiling. "When will you know?" I asked.
"By Tuesday." She answered. "Same day as the day."
"I'll wait for Tuesday then." I said, nodding.
"Would you want another you, or another me?" she asked suddenly.
I paused in our walk, confused. "What?"
"If you could have another little you, or another little me, which would you want?" she repeated the question.
"Is that possible?" I asked, wondering if she knew something I didn't.
Lisa just laughed and kept smiling. "I guess we'll find out on Tuesday."
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