Adoration (TylerxJordan)

Adoration (Part 2)

The next day, once Tyler gets home from work, he changes into something a little more appropriate for the occasion. He settles for a black turtleneck with a black pair of cargo pants, and spends the rest of his time watching a show he recorded while he waits.

Debby and Josh pick him up little before nine, it's expected.

It isn't raining like last time, so Tyler feels like he can breathe. He has hope that this will be better than Christmas. Maybe he won't isolate himself as much. Maybe he'll actually try to have a conversation with more than just Debby and Josh.

He decides he'll try this time. It's for the better.

***

Once they arrive, the door is already unlocked, so they walk in with music playing softly in the kitchen and a countdown happening on the television in the livingroom. There's snacks on the coffee table, champagne and other different kinds of wines on the counter in the other room.

Tyler is intrigued.

"You're here!" Laura shouts when seeing them. She walks over with a glass of wine in hand, carefully giving each of them a hug. "It's just us tonight. Ashley and Abigail have other plans."

Josh nods. "Sounds good to me,"

Tyler bites his lip, staring at the champagne.

Laura seems to notice, too. She chuckles a bit and touches his arm momentarily. "Drink it, that's what it's there for."

Tyler smiles.

"Drink what?" Josh asks.

"There's some wine in the kitchen," Laura replies.

Josh hums. He doesn't drink at all. Of course he can, but it just isn't who he is, and he also expresses his concerns about it whenever it's brought up. Tyler though, Tyler's fine with having a good time. He obviously won't go overboard considering it's in front of Josh's family, so he'll settle for a glass or two.

"I'll be right back." Tyler mumbles, walking into the kitchen. There's glasses beside each bottle, which is good, because he doesn't feel like looking for any.

He watches Laura lead Josh, Debby, and Jim into the livingroom. Their Christmas tree is already down but now the lights are strung up around the room instead. It's nice, and Tyler drinks to it once he pours enough into his cup.

He hasn't had champagne in a while. It's odd, yet also refreshing. It's like he needed it, in some strange way. He has been on edge a lot recently, and he's hoping that something as simple as drinking is going to help with that. He doesn't know why, he doesn't know how, he's only desperate.

"Pour me some?" He then hears.

Tyler turns around to see Jordan. His hair is trimmed at the sides now, and his stubble isn't stubble any longer, it's scruffy.

Tyler tilts his head. "Aren't you not supposed to have any. . . You're nineteen."

Jordan shrugs. "Mom and Dad don't care as long as it's under their supervision." He says it, and Tyler believes him. "Besides, they put vodka in my eggnog on Christmas. I think champagne is fine."

Tyler exhales. "Okay." He mutters, turning back around and pouring Jordan a cup as well. He hands it to him afterwards, and that's when he looks back at him with those big brown eyes. They're like a dog's. A puppy's. Jordan's as curious as one.

"I didn't know you were going to be here tonight." He says, leaning onto the counter.

Tyler takes another sip of his drink. "Neither did I. Josh made me, though. He usually does."

Jordan hums. "Well, I'm glad you're here."

Tyler's eyebrows pull together slightly. "Why's that?"

He gets a shrug in return. "I'll have someone to talk to." He says. "And who's better to talk to than a robot, right? Pretty cool to me."

Of course, Tyler smiles. Jordan and Josh are relatively similar in many ways, and maybe that's why he has been getting along with him is much; he reminds him of his best friend. He jokes like him, kind of looks like him, does many things like him, but he's also so different, and he doesn't know why.

"I guess you're right." Tyler mutters.

Jordan shrugs. "I usually am."

Tyler hums, taking another drink. Once pulling the cup away and looking back to Jordan, his lip curls upwards. "You're pretty cocky."

Jordan shakes his head easily at that. "I'm not, really. I just say stupid shit when I'm nervous."

Tyler purses his lips. "Why are you nervous?"

Jordan shrugs again. He has to think about it this time, taking a sip of champagne beforehand. "New year, I guess." He ends up saying. "Just means I'm getting older and need to get my life together. I'm still living with my parents, that's already a bad sign."

Tyler shakes his head. "You're only nineteen. I think that's pretty normal, right?"

Jordan bites his lip, looking downwards. "Maybe. I don't know. I've been giving it some time before applying to college, and that's probably stupid of me. If it keeps looking like this, I'll most likely be here all the time until I'm at least twenty. And that's only if I get accepted."

Tyler really doesn't understand why he's telling him this, but it doesn't bother him. He may just need to get it out.

"There's a lot of colleges here, you'll be okay. These things take time, you shouldn't let it stress you out so much." Tyler shakes his head softly when realizing he sounds like some kind of shrink.

Jordan gives a careful smile. "You're right." He utters. "What college did you go to?"

Quickly, Tyler's throat gets tight at the question. "Uh, I. . . I didn't go to college."

"Oh, why?" Jordan wonders.

Tyler sighs, chugging the rest of the champagne and already beginning to pour more into his glass once he's done. He looks back to Jordan afterwards, biting his cheek. "I was born in Ohio, and eventually, I moved here. I wasn't thinking about college then and I'm still not." He breathes in and out. "Besides, I have a well-paying job that gets me a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I think I'm okay."

Jordan hums. "Maybe I shouldn't go to college."

Tyler's eyes widen. "No, no. That's not what I was trying to get at. You should definitely go to college. It's going to help you so much in the long run."

He watches a smile make its way onto Jordan's face. "I know," he chuckles. "I want to go to college. Live in the dorms. Meet new people." He pauses, chuckling even more at the thought. "Maybe it will be like those movie scenes where my dormmate will help a man out when he's in need, if you know what I mean."

A faint blush meets Tyler's cheeks. "You know unisex dorms are really uncommon, right?"

Jordan nods. "Yeah. I know. I meant the dude I'd be dormmates with."

The blush on Tyler's cheeks deepens. "Oh, sorry. I, uh, I didn't know you were g--"

"I'm bisexual." Jordan interrupts, taking another sip of his drink.

Tyler nods, clearing his throat. "Okay." Is all he gets out, not sure what else to say.

"What about you?" Jordan ends up asking after a moment. He never takes his eyes off Tyler, and he doesn't know why he's so overwhelmed. He assumed before that Jordan isn't as intimidating as he may seem, but he supposes he's wrong.

"What about me?" Tyler wonders.

Jordsn runs a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I'm picking up that vibe. Is that wrong of me? Sorry."

Tyler's lips go crooked. "Well, I am gay, so."

Jordan nods. "Okay."

"Why did you ask?" He continues.

Jordan shrugs. "I guess I have no social boundaries. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable." He sighs. "I need more friends."

Tyler can't help but smile at that, and it's okay, because Jordan does too. They both laugh a little bit; it's one of those things of finding humor in the worst situations, which Tyler is used to doing.

"I know what you mean," Tyler ends up saying.

Jordan continues to smile. "We should probably go in the livingroom now. I still need to say hi to Josh and Debby, anyways." He takes one more sip before setting his glass down. "And Jim."

Tyler nods. "Okay."

The two of them make their way into the livingroom as a mutual agreement. Tyler takes a seat by Josh, and after a moment, Jordan sits right beside him. Their thighs touch, and Tyler wonders why he's this close because there's so much more room on the couch, but he assumes it's because Jordan really is lonely, and that he really does struggle with boundaries.

It's whatever. Tyler doesn't mind all that much.

"We've been waiting for you two. We're gonna play Cards Against Humanity." Josh states.

Tyler's brows pull together. "With your mom and dad?"

Josh shrugs. "It'll be fun."

Tyler glances to Jordan, he doesn't know why. He purses his lips and raises his eyebrows, shoulders lifting, which doesn't reassure Tyler for one second that this won't be weird, but he lets it pass.

"Okay. Are you and Debby going to team up?" Tyler asks once he faces Josh again.

Josh nods.

Because he can't actually read what the cards say, he has to have someone to help him with that. Sometimes it's Tyler, sometimes it's Debby. It just depends. Though, despite having two people work together, Josh almost never wins, but that also might be because his humor isn't nearly as dark as others.

Before Tyler knows it too, cards are being passed out, and already Jordan is peeking over to look at his stack.

Tyler pulls them away. "Hey, don't cheat."

Jordan turns his body, still staying close though. "Was not."

Tyler looks wearily at him one more time before turning his body as well, for clarity that he wouldn't peek again. And, well, Josh wouldn't be peeking even if he tried, so this is fine.

This is fine.

***

Tyler doesn't know whether to be shocked or concerned that Jordan won all four games. Maybe he should be feeling both. Maybe he is feeling both.

He has no idea.

It's past eleven-forty when they finish playing and when Tyler goes upstairs to use the bathroom. He finds himself becoming anxious the closer it gets to twelve, and really, going to the bathroom is an excuse to get away from everything. A new year is terrifying, but also very exhilarating, and because of this, he's stuck between feeling accomplished and feeling afraid.

He gets in his head too much. He can't can't help it.

Tyler sighs when flushing the toilet. He fixes his hair after washing his hands and takes a deep breath before leaving the bathroom.

It's dark in the hallway. He likes it.

He can hear everyone talking downstairs. It isn't as overwhelming before, but coming to these type of occasions has made Tyler realize how introverted he actually is. He's having a hard time with something as simple as being around his best friend's family longer than what's comfortable.

It's pitiful. He's pitiful.

"Are you hiding up here?" He suddenly hears, seeing Jordan at the top of the stairs.

Tyler shrugs. "New year. Same me."

Jordan hums. "Wanna see my room?"

Tyler shrugs again. "Why?"

Jordan bites his lip, walking to one of the few doors in the hallway. "Might get your mind off the things you're worrying about. I don't know. I have some pretty cool stuff." He looks to him. "I can show you my drawings."

"You're an artist?" Tyler asks.

"Mediocre at best."

Tyler smiles at that. "Okay." He says, making his way over once Jordan opens the door. He walks in to see that the walls are painted dark blue, and there's posters and drawings all over the place, as well as glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling.

"It's a mess." Jordan mumbles.

"I like it." Tyler replies.

Jordan lips turn upwards. He goes over to the desk tucked in at the corner of his room. "This is what I've been working on recently." Tyler moves closer to see, eyes widening at the sight of it. "I wanted to do some type of intergalactic character. I don't know. It's pretty fun to draw, and space interests me."

It's only a sketch so far, but Tyler is amazed. Every detail adds to it perfectly, and it's mind boggling how he can make something with three eyes look so realistic.

"Jordan, that's. . . That's really good." He gets out.

Jordan's eyes meet his. "You think so?"

Tyler nods easily. "Yeah. Holy shit."

Jordan smiles, opening one of the desk drawers and pulling out more. All of them are rather colorful, and most have to do with space. It's something Tyler just now learns Jordan is fascinated with.

"Josh always says how cool space sounds. I think I do a lot of these for him." He says quietly.

Tyler looks through them, but pauses when one stands out. "Isn't that--"

"Josh's tattoo? Yeah." Jordan lifts the paper. It's of an astronaut being abducted by a UFO. "I drew it for him a while ago, and I guess he decided he liked it without actually being able to see it." He chuckles. "I think he trusts my judgement too much."

"He never told me you drew it." Tyler mutters.

Jordan shrugs, dismissing it. "I like sci-fi stuff, but I also do realism." He comments, pulling out a sketch book with multiple different drawings of things on each page. Hands, noses, lips, eyes. "This is Debby." He points out on a certain page.

"These are all amazing," Tyler says, flabbergasted. "Maybe you should go to an art school." He then suggests.

Jordan looks to him again. "Yeah?" He hums. "I'll look into it."

"Definitely. Because these are so not mediocre at best."

Jordan smiles wide when he says it, but that's until he can hear everyone downstairs counting down. "Oh," he whispers. He has to look up at Tyler because he's just the slightest bit taller than him, and Tyler looks down at him, Adam's apple bobbing.

"Um, we should probably go--"

When everyone shouts one, and then happy new year, Jordan blinks. "Kiss me."

Tyler's heart skips a beat. "What?"

"Kiss me." Jordan repeats.

Tyler's chest moves up and down unevenly, eyelashes fluttering over and over again to process it. "Why would I do that? I-- you're Josh's little bother."

Jordan's eyebrows pull together. "So? That has nothing to do with it. Just kiss me. It's New Years, after all." He touches his cheek afterwards, and that's when Tyler realizes that maybe the champagne is taking over because he does lean in and he does kiss him. It's slow at first, nervous, but that's before they both realize it's actually happening.

Jordan holds onto his chin after a moment, guiding it. He breathes against him and Tyler's fingers go to his neck, leaning closer for more, tilting his head for a better angle-- everything. Jordan is bold enough to make them touch tongues, just barely, and Tyler is quick to pull away right after it happens.

He pinches the fabric of his shirt, clearing his throat.

Jordan smiles. "Who knew robots could kiss so well."

Tyler's cheeks flush at that. "You're a dork. Be quiet." He whispers, taking his hand off of his shoulder. "We need to go downstairs."

Jordan only continues to smile. "I kind of wanna kiss you again."

Tyler huffs, biting his lip. "Jordan," he gets out.

He shrugs. "It's true."

Tyler shakes his head. "Come on, let's go downstairs."

Jordan sighs, but nonetheless follows him out of the room after turning the lights off. He and Tyler slip back into the livingroom like nothing happened, or at least, they try to. Debby touches Tyler's hand when she sees him, pulling him close. "Are you okay?"

Tyler sucks on his saliva. "Yeah, why?"

Debby eyes him. "Your face is flushed is all."

He gulps at that, glancing to Jordan, who, for once, isn't staring. He looks to Debby again though, giving a nervous smile. "I think I drank too much champagne," he says.

Debby snickers at that, pulling him into a hug. "Happy new year, Tyler." She whispers, pressing a swift kiss to his cheek before pulling away.

Tyler closes his eyes, breathing. "Happy new year."

***

It's not until one in the morning where Josh leans over to Tyler and tells him they're going to head out, which he's thankful for, because the champagne really is getting to him. He's exhausted, a little tipsy, and he feels overwhelmed knowing he kissed Jordan.

Josh helps him up from the couch, patting his back for good measure. "I'm going to say goodbye and then we'll leave."

Tyler nods easily. He hugs Josh's parents and waves meekly at Jordan before making his way into the entry, walking past Debby and Jim.

He waits patiently, but looks up in time to see Jordan slowly pull away from Josh's embrace and walk over to where he is.

"What's up?" Tyler asks when he's in front of him.

Jordan pulls out his phone. "Give me your number, yeah?"

Tyler's eyebrow furrow. "Why?"

Jordan shrugs. "I need more friends. I told you this."

Tyler's lips go crooked as he says it. "Jordan, you should probably get friends your own age." He doesn't mean for it to come off as harsh, but maybe it does. He's either saying it to protect Jordan or to protect himself. He's not sure, really. He's still wrapping his mind around the fact that he kissed Josh's little brother.

"I thought you were cool." Jordan plays. "Don't be a party pooper. What if I want to tell people I'm friends with a half robot, hmm?"

Tyler looks to him, and sighs. He glances at his phone before reaching out for it. "Just give it to me, then." He grumbles.

Jordan complies with a huge smile, watching Tyler type his number in while bouncing back and forth on the heels of his feet like a child might do because an overwhelming amount of excitement-- nevermind. That's exactly what this is.

Tyler hands his phone back to him, muttering, "Don't send me stupid shit."

Jordan just hums, lips coming together.

Tyler watches him walk off without a word, back over to Josh to give him one last hug, whispering something into his ear which makes him laugh.

Debby guides him over to the entry afterwards, looking to Tyler. "Ready?"

He nods. "More than you know."

***

Tyler's almost surprised it takes Jordan six days to finally send him a text. He seems like the type of person who would never leave him be, but Tyler supposed he was wrong.

It wasn't like he was waiting for a text from him though, no. He wasn't. He was only curious as to why he asked for his number but took nearly a week to text him anything is all.

My new intergalactic character has a mechanical leg. He's a badass if you ask me.

Tyler rolls his eyes with a small smile when reading it.

What's his name?

He sits on the couch and decides to watch TV considering it wouldn't be so bad to catch up on all the shows he has been recording these last few days. Most of them are cooking shows for some reason, others from MTV. He has a strange taste, but it's okay.

His phone vibrates once again.

I call him Agayb.

Tyler pauses when he reads it. Finding it humorous, yet, not very creative. He can do better.

...A gay?

AgayB. Don't forget the B.

Sounds familiar if you ask me.

Maybe. Is that okay?

Yeah, it's definitely about him, if it wasn't already obvious. It comes as no surprise that Jordan is pulling inspiration from him though, because what else is an artist to do? Tyler's sure he's intriguing enough for something like this to happen, and he's glad Jordan is at least using it in a postive light.

I don't care. It's kind of admirable.

Good. That's the goal.

I think I might make Agayb some sort of comic strip if the story continues.

Tyler swallows thickly at that, only because it's a little overwhelming how attached he's becoming. He didn't want that kiss to lead Jordan on, if there was even anything to lead with in the first place. He simply did it because, well-- actually, he doesn't know why he did it.

It was stupid of him, wasn't it?

Why should the story continue, anyways?

The response takes longer than usual. Tyler nearly feels bad.

Because I'm quite fond of his character. Is that okay?

Tyler sighs, fuck. Of course. He should have thought more about their kiss on New Years, he should have dwelled more on the fact that it is literally Josh's brother. His best friend's brother. Isn't that wrong of him? Doesn't that break some sort of unwritten moral? He has no idea.

I don't know, Jordan.

I think you worry too much.

I don't think you worry enough.

Tyler slumps further into the couch, not having a clue what's happening in the show because he accidentally lost any of his focus on it.

That's fair.

Well, I'm going to keep drawing. I'll send you an update when he looks presentable.

For some reason, Tyler worries that he's made him feel bad. Feel bad for having what, some kind of crush on him? Is that what it is? Tyler doesn't think about it like that, but also, Jordan's age never slips his mind and it's probably typical for him to still develop feelings like that. He's young. He's impressionable.

Why Tyler, though?

I'm sure he'll look amazing. Can't wait to see.

Talk to you later.

Jordan never responds after that, which leaves Tyler to dwell horribly on his decision. He's made a bad one. This isn't good. Should he keep this a secret or tell Josh? How much should he tell Josh? And also, what is he keeping a secret? That his little brother is growing feelings for him?

That's not his fault. Yet, it feels like more, and that's the scariest part.

***

A few days later, he, Josh, and Debby go out for coffee once again. It's different this time though, and he tries to hide the fact that he's nervous, yet of course they both sense it. Josh doesn't even have to be able to see in order to know.

But, for some strange reason, neither of them point it out. They both let it pass. Like breeze in the spring and a riptide in the ocean, and Tyler can't stand it. It makes him feel even more guilty, even more ashamed, even more disgusting.

He shouldn't have kissed Jordan, he knows, and he won't blame it on the champagne either.

It's not until they get to Josh and Debby's house where Tyler really can't handle it all.

While Josh is showering and Tyler and Debby are alone in the livingroom, that's when Tyler crumbles. He falls onto her shoulder and just cries, letting it all out, tear after tear and Debby rubs his back.

"What's wrong, Ty?"

He shakes his head, sniffling. "I've done something stupid."

She runs a hand through his hair. "What do you mean?"

Tyler breathes in and out. "You can't tell Josh. At least, not right now. I-I, fuck, I can't even think about telling him."

Debby nods. "Okay."

Tyler pulls away from her shoulder to look at her. He wipes his tears away and tugs at the hoodie Laura and Bill gave him for Christmas. "When, uh, when-when you asked me what was wrong on New Years because I was flushed, it wasn't just because of the champagne, it. . . Jordan and I kissed?"

Tyler's heart beats loudly in his ears, and Debby only blinks.

Fuck.

He's about to open his mouth again, but she finally says something. "I kinda knew something happened between you two."

Tyler's face falls into a state of confusion. "You did?"

She shrugs. "Yeah. You both were gone for a really long time twice that night. Kind of hard not to assume something happened, you know?"

Tyler frowns. "I feel like shit. I shouldn't have done it. I don't know why I did." He breathes, biting his lip. "I-- do you think Josh is going to be upset? I don't know how to tell him, or if I even should. Isn't it kind of weird to kiss your best friend's brother?"

Debby touches his knee. "Depends on the circumstance."

"What do you mean?"

Debby looks away momentarily. "Do you like him? Or was it an in the moment kind of thing."

Tyler swallows thickly at that. "I don't know? He heard everyone counting downstairs and kept telling me to kiss him, so I--" he's embarrassed. "So I kissed him. It just happened, and I don't know why."

Debby nods along to what he says. "Well, if it was only a kiss, it's not a big deal. A one time thing."

Tyler feels frozen.

Debby notices, too.

"Was it not a one time thing?" She asks slowly.

More tears roll down his cheeks; he shakes his head. "I don't know, Debby. I'm so confused." He cries into his palms, feeling unbelievably pathetic. "He told me he's interested in me, but all I can think about is him being Josh's brother."

Debby holds one of his hands, ignoring the stickiness of his tears. "If he wasn't Josh's brother, what would you do?"

Tyler doesn't respond.

"Tyler, what would you do."

He squeezes his eyes shut, leaning back against the couch. "I would tell him I'm interested, too." He whispers.

Debby nods. "I'm not going to say that it won't upset Josh, because I have no idea, but you can't hold yourself back from being happy for anyone else's sake. I'm sure Josh will be fine; it isn't anything terrible." She sucks on her bottom lip. "Besides, if you're asking me, I think you and Jordan both really need someone, anyways."

Tyler's grip tightens around her hand. "What if this somehow ruins our friendship? You and him are all I have."

Debby shakes her head, pushing a hair behind his ear. "You and Josh have been through thick and thin. I don't think something like developing feelings for his brother is going to change that." She brings his hand to her lips and kisses each knuckle. "And if it does, I promise you I'll knock sense into him."

She smiles, and so Tyler does too.

"Thank you." He says.

She only pulls him close and gives him a hug he didn't know he needed. "It's going to be okay. Focus on yourself, for once."

Tyler nods. "Okay."

***

On the twelfth, Jordan texts him again. He sends a photo of his drawing with a tremendous amount of detail and minor coloring done. Tyler can't help the upturn on his lips, biting the dead skin around his thumb and reading the message.

Agayb is in the midst of being colored. How are you liking it?

I love it.

Good.

Tyler doesn't know what else to say, but after a moment, Jordan sends him another text.

How do you think Agayb is feeling about that comic strip?

He breathes in and out, knowing full-well what Jordan means. It leads him to think about what Debby said the other day, how he should let himself be happy. Yet, Tyler isn't sure that means trying things out with Jordan. He's conflicted beyond belief, and scared, too.

Still, his fingers move against his keyboard, and before he's acknowledging it, he presses send.

I think that would be okay.

Tyler bites his lip reading over it, hoping that this isn't a mistake.

He trusts Debby's judgement, though. He will be okay.

I really like the sound of that.

We should go out for lunch sometime. I have nothing better to do, and I'm sure my dad will give me some cash if I asked.

He figures Jordan is finished, but his phone vibrates one more time, and Tyler can't help but snicker when he sees it.

Maybe I should look for a job.

I can pay. Because, you know, I in fact have a job.

So that's a yes?

For some reason, Tyler has to set his phone down for a moment to really consider it. It's a date, isn't it? Should he be going on a date with Josh's-- nevermind. He needs to stop thinking about it like that. He needs to do this for himself.

It has been a while since he has seen anyone. This could be a good thing.

He picks his phone back up at the thought, typing slowly.

Yes. I guess that's a yes.

Awesome. Just text me when you're free.

I'm free on the weekends.

Maybe he's just desperate to get out of the house and interact with someone different. Not that he's tired of Debby or Josh, god, no, only because it's new for him. A positive thing for him to do. Push himself to get out of his comfort zone.

Let's go to that new all you can eat on main street then. Saturday?

Okay, sure. What time? I'll meet you there.

1, yeah?

Tyler gulps harshly, eyes running over his phone screen a few times to process it. He's doing it. He's not worrying. He's going to go on this date with Jordan, and they're going to have fun. He deserves that.

Sounds like a plan.

I'll see you then.

***

The nineteenth couldn't have come any slower. He spent those few days working of course, but also trying to seem collected in front of Josh. It took everything in him not to confess that he's going on a date with Jordan, because he's not ready for that. Sure, he isn't certain when he will be, but for right now, it's definitely not the time.

Making his way to that restaurant is nervewracking. He grips the steering wheel and tries his hardest for the faint sound of the radio to relax him. It does its best, though, the nerves never leave until he gets out of the car.

The first thing he does is pull his phone out.

I'm here. You?

I'm already inside. Waiting for you. You took forever.

Tyler shakes his head at the thought of how much he sounds like Josh.

He slips his phone back into his pocket and slowly walks into the building, examining the interior just because. He looks to the left, and doesn't see Jordan. He looks to the front of him, and doesn't see Jordan. It's not until he looks to the right where he catches Jordan waving at him with a small smile and a freshly shaven face.

Tyler quickly walks over and slips into the booth.

"I'm glad you showed up." Jordan says, some of his nails painted black, others painted dark blue.

Tyler bites his lip. "Why wouldn't I?"

Jordan shrugs, pulling something from his messenger bag. It's a huge rolled up paper that's tied by some purple ribbon. "I brought this for you." He utters, handing it to him.

Tyler carefully takes off the ribbon after some hesitance, unraveling the paper only to reveal the finished product of Jordan's drawing. Agayb. His skin is a light shade of pink, and his mechanical leg has multiple different engravings into it. His hair is shaved on both sides but is spiked at the top, a goatee adoring his face. Tyler can barely breathe when taking it all in.

"Jordan-- holy shit." He gets out.

"Do you like it?" Jordan wonders.

Tyler shakes his head. "You're insane. I-I can't take this. You worked really hard on it."

He notices smaller details, like a scar in Agayb's eyebrow, and how his uniform has mustard yellow patches on it. He also has badges, one with an eye in it, the other with a dumbbell.

Jordan blinks. "No, it's for you." He states. "It's inspired by the best half robot I know."

Tyler looks up at him. "Aren't I the only half robot you know?"

Jordan smiles at that. "Maybe I'm bias."

Tyler sighs, nonetheless rolling it back up and slipping the ribbon on to hold it. "Thank you. I really like it."

Jordan nods easily, slowly moving out of the booth. "No problem." He says. "Let's get some food now, yeah? I'm starving." He reaches his hand out for Tyler, who accepts it hesitantly. He helps him up from the seat and the two of them only hold hands for a few more moments before Tyler pulls away, clearing his throat.

It's not until they're at the buffet where Tyler learns Jordan eats like a monster. He watches him dump food after more food on his plate, so much to the point where he has to make room for it.

"You're hungry." Tyler mumbles when noticing.

"I'm a growing boy," is how Jordan replies, dumping some macaroni and cheese on top.

Tyler gives him a look with hooded eyes, and an unintentional smirk. "You're nineteen, not nine."

Jordan hums, dismissing it. "You ready?" He asks, glancing down at Tyler's plate which isn't nearly as full as his own.

"Yeah." Tyler utters, licking his lips in thought.

He finds it odd how assertive Jordan can be. Well, maybe it isn't so much assertiveness, but more so the need to have a grasp on everything as soon as he can. He's rather demanding, Tyler won't lie, yet, for some strange reason, it's kind of charming. He likes that Jordan controls every situation, and he likes that he doesn't have to dwell so much on things because he already has an answer. A plan.

When they sit back down, Tyler glances to him.

Actually, he stares, because he thinks he gets it now. He's entranced. Intrigued. Curious. Many things, really.

He watches Jordan grab a spoon to eat his macaroni and cheese opposed to a fork, and he watches him take a nice big bite before looking up and connecting eyes with Tyler.

His chewing slows down. "What?" He asks.

Tyler blinks. "Don't speak with your mouth full."

Jordan rolls his eyes and finishes chewing, swallowing thickly after a moment. "Okay. You staring at me is not helping with my nerves right now-- I know I do it a lot to you, but--"

"You're nervous right now?" Tyler cuts in.

Jordan's shoulders lift, nodding. "Uh, yeah. Of course."

Tyler purses his lips. "Why?"

Jordan shakes his head slightly. "What do you mean why? I. . . I'm out with a guy I like, I'm bound to be a little nervous, aren't I?"

Tyler takes that information and swallows it whole. "So this is a date," he says, more to himself, but Jordan obviously hears as well. He watches him shrug his shoulders and look downwards; it's the first time Tyler has actually seen him look anxious.

"Well, yeah. It's a date." Jordan mumbles. "I don't know. Did I not make that obvious? I'm sorry. I'm so bad at this, jeez." He sighs.

Tyler bites his lip. "You're doing just fine. It's okay."

Jordan looks up at him again with those doe eyes like usual. Tyler is starting to appreciate them unbeknownst. "It. . . It isn't weird that I kind of have a thing for you, right? I know you're worried about me being Josh's brother, but I already know it won't be a problem." He exhales. "Do you like me even? If not, this is weird. I'm sorry. I think I have attachment issues or something."

Tyler gives a careful smile. It's cute when he rambles. "Would I be on a date with you if I didn't like you?"

It's a big step for him. The subtly of it though, it's tremendous.

Jordan's face brightens at that; those words alone seeming to help with the worries he has had. "Awesome." He whispers, the corner of his lips turning upwards. "Am I doing this too fast? I don't really know."

Tyler shakes his head. "I think it's okay. I trust your pace."

Jordan nods at that, blinking a few times. "Hold my hand while we eat?"

Tyler isn't scared. He doesn't think he will be, either. "Is that what you want?" He asks.

Jordan nods again. "Yeah." He says. "Is that what you want?"

Tyler sucks on his bottom lip, contemplating.

He ends up not answering, only slowly intertwining their fingers together on top of the table. He uses his other hand to grab a fork and begin eating, so Jordan follows his lead, doing the same thing.

It's only quiet between them for a little while, soft grins on both of their faces, hearts in their throats. Tyler feels like a fucking teenager again, but for some reason, he doesn't mind. The way sunshine hits the bridge of Jordan's nose and how it lights up his eyes, it makes him forget about anything that could be nervewracking. He needs to live. He needs to breathe.

Jordan is helping with that.

"I like your nails." Tyler ends up saying after a moment.

Jordan smiles. "Thank you. I'm not sure why I painted them."

Tyler shrugs, hand tightening around his absentmindedly. "I like how weird you are."

Jordan sticks his bottom lip out. "Am I really that weird?" He wonders, suddenly looking down at himself only to realize he's wearing a shirt with multicolored cats on it. "Well, maybe a little." He mutters, bringing his attention back to Tyler. "What do I do that's weird?"

Tyler hums. He eats another piece of his food while thinking about it. "Well, for one, you stare a lot. At first it made me overwhelmed but now I'm used to it. It kind of feels weird if you aren't looking at me--"

"That's just because I'm very engaged in everything you do." Jordan comments. "It's not weird."

Tyler bites the smirk off of his face. "Yeah," he agrees to please him. "Then you draw aliens based on a person you've only known for like a month--"

"Okay, first of all, Agayb is not an alien, he's an intergalactic character." Jordan huffs. "Secondly, he's only inspired by you. He's definitely not you." At the thought, he cracks a smile. "If he was you, I would have gave him a lot less muscles and much bigger lips."

"I--" Tyler's shoulders tighten and then relax. He lets out a breath, eyebrows pulling together minimally. "I'm a hunk. Thank you."

Jordan eyes him, an amused look on his face. "Not sure which universe you live in, but definitely not."

Tyler pulls his hand away. "You don't think I'm attractive?"

Jordan grabs his hand again. "You don't have to be a hunk to be attractive. I think you're pretty hot the way you are now." He says it easily, and Tyler has a hard time believing he's actually nervous, but he also remembers him saying he says 'stupid shit' when he is. It makes sense.

A blush meets Tyler's cheeks; he allows him to intertwine their fingers together again. "Yeah. Okay." Tyler clears his throat. "Shut up."

Jordan's smile only widens. "Why don't you like it when I say stuff like that to you?"

Tyler looks downwards. "It's not that I don't like it, it's just--" he sighs. "I don't know. Weird. I think it's because I actually really enjoy it and that's what makes me so, like, flustered."

Jordan gets this look in his eye as soon as it's said. "So you actually love it, hmm?" He snickers. "Well now that only encourages me to say stuff like that more often to you."

Tyler rolls his eyes. "Stop. You wouldn't." He pauses. "What would you even say, anyways?" Though, he regrets it as soon as it's out, and he's quick to shake his head afterwards. "Nevermind. I definitely don't want to know. You are not allowed to be inappropriate."

Jordan fake-frowns. "I'm always inappropriate."

"Even more reason for you not to be."

Jordan huffs dramatically. "I'm fresh out of highschool-- okay, not really, but still, I am fully eligible of being inappropriate. I've got that hormonal teenager mindset going."

"No." Tyler mutters.

"Why not?"

"Because I said so." It's simple enough.

"What if I say so? You don't make the rules. I can tell you anything I want, yeah? Because you are attractive, you are hot. You might not be a hunk but I'd still get on my kn--"

Tyler's eyes widen. "Jordan, stop. You need to stop."

Jordan smacks his lips. "You suck."

Tyler carefully glances down.

There's silence before he mumbles, "By the sound of it, you do." With a smirk slowly making its way onto his face. He supposes he can play that game too, if he really wanted.

Jordan is bashful. "That's more like it." He assures. "And maybe you're right."

Tyler tries to ignore the blush growing on his cheeks again, but of course it doesn't pass with the other person across from him.

"Are you thinking about it?" Jordan then asks.

Tyler's palms start to sweat. "Thinking about what?"

He must get by now why it's embarrassing to talk about these kind of things in public, because he leans over and whispers in Tyler's ear opposed to saying it out loud. Tyler trembles feeling his lips on his skin, blush increasing as his breath hits sensitive areas. "Me sucking your dick," Jordan gets out, pulling back to sit down but not before pressing a kiss to his jaw.

Tyler is overwhelmed.

Definitely.

"This is our first date," he utters, voice wavering.

Jordan shrugs, continuing to eat. "So what?"

Tyler swallows thickly. "Isn't that too fast?"

Jordan shakes his head easily, chewing the rest of his food before answering. "If you're comfortable with it now, I'm comfortable with it now. It's not too fast then."

Tyler sighs. "But morally, isn't that wrong?"

Maybe he's stalling.

"I-- no? It doesn't matter." Jordan bites his lip, looking up at him, and it's different this time. Should it be? "Do you want it? I want it. Pretty bad, too. That might be wrong of me but I don't care. I know what I want is all."

Tyler closes his eyes, breathing in and out. It's too much. Too soon. Too fast. He knows it is. Besides, he can only imagine how much guilt he would feel doing anything like that after only knowing and talking to Jordan for so long. Not to mention, "Josh." He says.

Jordan seems confused. "What?"

Tyler opens his eyes to look at him again. "I can't. Not until I tell Josh about this."

Jordan's lips go crooked. He scrapes at the crumbs on his plate. "I told you, I highly doubt he would mind. You guys are best friends, for a long time, too. He wouldn't let this get in the middle of it."

Tyler's Adam's apple bobs. "It's not that, Jordan. I know that's probably true, but that doesn't mean I should hold off from telling him until after kissing you, until after going on a date with you, until after letting you-- yeah." He sighs. "I won't. I'm sorry."

Jordan shrugs. He seems to do that a lot. Be passive. "It's fine. I understand." He looks downwards. "That probably was too fast, anyways. I told you I'm bad at this."

Tyler squeezes his hand tighter. "So am I. It's okay."

Jordan lets out a deep breath, nodding. "Just, uh, tell me when Josh knows, yeah?"

Tyler gives him a soft smile for reassurance despite needing it more for himself than anyone else. "Of course I will." He tells him, because it's true. Maybe Tyler really did want to text Jordan when he knew he had his number.

***

Tyler only hugs Jordan tightly before they part ways. Not a kiss, not anything suggestive, and he's sure it's best this way for now.

Jordan doesn't seem to mind, though, he never does

***

It takes a few days for Tyler to gain the courage to speak to Josh about everything. Worries run through his head in a sprint, and really, it feels like he's gasping for breath any time he thinks about telling him finally.

He decides to do it on the twenty-fifth.

One month of knowing Jordan.

One month to push him, to be brave, to be strong. To be positive, in all honesty.

He can do it, he knows he can, and that's why he's now sitting across from him at a coffee shop they've only ever visited a few times. He picked him up and brought him here, knowing this needed to be done alone.

Josh talks, and Tyler tries his best to listen, but it's the last thing he can think about right now. Jim stares up at him from his place on the floor, knowing full-well how unbelievably anxious he is, which Josh, for once, somehow doesn't catch. Not that he's aware of, at least.

Tyler inhales when it's finally quiet between them, feeling slightly guilty for disregarding everything his friend just said. "Josh," he whispers.

Josh is smiling. He always is. "What's up?"

A thickness of saliva is swallowed, and Tyler might throw up. "I have to tell you something."

Immediately, Josh's face falls a bit at that. Probably from the tone. Probably from knowing too well that this can't be anything good.

"Yeah?" He utters.

Tyler sighs. "I don't. . . I don't want to tell you. I'm afraid you're going to be upset. I'm afraid I've messed everything up, and that I've done something extremely selfish." His chest is already heaving. Maybe all of this was a mistake.

God, he's so stupid.

Josh frowns, touching his knee beneath the table once he finds it. "Tyler, it's okay. You can tell me."

Tyler shakes his head. "What if this gets in between us? I don't want to lose you as my friend." He closes his eyes. "You mean so much to me."

Josh nods. "And you mean so much to me, which means no matter what you have to say right now, I will keep calling you my bestfriend. Yeah?"

Tyler opens his eyes again, breathing in, breathing out. "Okay. Yeah."

The only thing keeping him reassured is both Jordan and Debby telling him they're sure everything will be okay. He has to believe them, because he doesn't believe in himself. They're the glue right now, the train, everything of the sort. He's thankful, but guilty.

"There's no simple way of putting this," Tyler gets out, and Josh only waits, so he continues. "Jordan and I are. . ."

His heart thumps.

His chest aches.

"Jordan and I are seeing each other."

Josh's expression is so minimal, Tyler feels sick.

He watches him blink a few times before pulling his hand away from his knee, and that subtle sense of warmth and reassurance is ripped away from him.

"Like, dating?" He finally asks.

Tyler still isn't relieved. "No. Not exactly." He runs a hand through his hair nervously. "It's just, uh-- I don't know. We kissed on New Years, Josh. When we were upstairs and he was showing me some of his art, he heard everyone counting down and he kept telling me. . . Kiss me."

Josh purses his lips. "And you did?"

Tyler wants to cry. "Yes."

Josh hasn't moved. "What else?"

Tyler feels tears well in his eyes, only because this isn't looking good. "He asked me for my phone number that night, too, and-and I gave it to him. We texted. We text, still." His throat tightens the longer he speaks. "I was so scared of what I was doing that I, um, I told Debby everything."

Josh's eyebrows lift. "You told Debby?"

Tyler nods. "Yeah. I told her I felt like I fucked up, and she told me that if I really did like Jordan-- which I-I, I guess I do-- to try things out with him. She said you and I's friendship is strong enough to where this wouldn't effect it, and I hope she's right because Josh, that's all I can think about is how I might have ruined everything."

Tyler feels like he might be able to breathe when Josh connects their hands together. Does this mean it's okay?

"Is there anything else?"

Tyler sighs. "Yes."

Josh runs his thumb over his. "What is it?"

Tyler never realized how much there actually is to tell until now. "We went on a date. Some sort of date. We just went out to eat, and he gave me a drawing. He drew it for me."

He holds off from saying the rest. It's rather salacious.

Of course, though, this is when Josh catches something is off.

"You're not telling me something, are you." He mutters. He knows everything, somehow, some way.

Tyler frowns. "It's bad."

"Tell me." Josh says.

"It's bad." Tyler repeats.

Josh sighs, squeezing his hand lightly. "Please, tell me. I think I deserve to know."

Tyler isn't able to disagree with that. He feels his face flush at the thought of what he's holding back, but nonetheless, he does continue. "He wanted to. . ." Tyler shakes his head. "I can't. Oh, my god. I can't tell you that."

Josh's lips go crooked momentarily. "Tyler,"

He groans. "Josh, I don't think you want to know, anyways."

"Maybe I don't, but I think I need to." It's true. It's all true.

Tyler gets quieter, plaintive. "He wanted to give me oral." He admits, so quietly, so ashamed.

Josh doesn't seem surprised. He probably could already guess by the way Tyler simply hesitated to say it. "And did you let him?"

"No, I didn't."

Josh probably wishes he can see right now to experience all the guilt seeping from Tyler's pores. It's coming in waves, and anxiety comes in mountains.

"Why didn't you?" He asks, demeanor yet to change.

Tyler sighs, eyebrows pulling together in frustration. "Because, Josh, I felt horrible. I didn't want to do anything more with him until I told you. You're my best friend. He's your brother. What more of a reason not to say no?"

Josh nods, pulling away.

He throws one leg over the other and tilts his head. "Yeah, okay. I'll admit it's kind of weird, but you should know by now I'm not going to be mad at you for something like this."

Tyler's eyes widen; he pushes out a breath of relief. "Thank fucking god." He whispers.

Josh gives a small smile. "I respect that you told me. I know you'll respect him, too." He sucks on his bottom lip. "But also, Jordan is pretty overbearing, so I'm more worried about him not respecting you than anything." He pauses. ". . . But he's my little brother. If you do anything to him. . . If he does anything to you-- I don't know. I'm conflicted."

Tyler chuckles, wiping his eyes when he feels tears fall just a little. Only a little.

He's simply relieved is all.

"Thank you, Josh." Tyler replies. He needs to say it.

Josh shrugs. "Thank you for being honest with me. This is why you're my best friend. I can trust you."

That's exactly what Tyler needed to hear. Worries flee in a matter of seconds, and in comes that beautiful sense of reassurance and comfort he had but just a sliver of. He's lucky. He's thankful.

"You can always trust me," Tyler mutters.

Josh hums. "I know." He says easily. "Now," he leans back. "The real question is how you can stand him. Doesn't he annoy you? Maybe it's just because he's my brother and all, but god damn, he can say some of the craziest shit sometimes. He does some of the craziest shit, too."

Tyler smiles. He's glad Josh is willing to talk about it.

"I think it's kind of cute, actually." He comments.

Tyler doesn't see it as annoying, mostly overwhelming. Jordan is very demanding, very weird, very-- he doesn't know, but for some fucking reason, he likes it.

Josh's face scrunches up. "Ew," he chuckles. "Maybe this is weirder than I thought."

Tyler purses his lips. "Sorry."

Josh shakes his head. "No, I'm just going to have to get used to it is all." He touches Jim's head, scratching behind his ear. "I'll manage. Don't worry."

Tyler nods. "Good," he starts. "Because if you think that was bad, you should have heard what he was telling me on our date. Who knew your brother was so scandal--"

"Ew!" Josh shouts. "Don't want to know, I don't want to know."

Tyler smiles. "I know." He exhales. "I love you."

Josh still looks disgusted. "I love you too, even if you're being weird and like my baby brother."

Tyler only smiles more.

***

Josh and Tyler spent most of the day together. They went to Tyler's apartment and primarily were focused on making sure his daisy seeds were getting the proper treatment. Some sunlight, some water, and lots of love.

"I hope it sprouts soon," Josh whispers after a while.

Tyler hums. "Me too."

He drops Josh off at home after a while, later at night, once they talk more and once the sun sets.

Tyler's just glad to be able to do that. Stay with him until nighttime. Talk to him all day about anything and everything. He's still not sure whether or not he was simply overthinking the entire situation, he only knows that being able to be around Josh like it's any other day is the best thing that could have happened.

And, like promised-- once he's comfortable in bed and has showered-- he decides to call Jordan.

It doesn't surprise him that he picks up instantaneously.

"Hey," he says bashfully. "I was just thinking about you."

Tyler rolls his eyes, smile eating away at his face. "Were you now,"

"Yep." Jordan mumbles easily. "Thinking about how lonely I am without you around. This sucks."

Tyler shakes his head to himself. "Maybe you do have attachment issues." He mutters. "I've only ever seen you a few times and you're all over me." He doesn't mean for it to sound rude, and he hopes it isn't coming off that way. Really, Tyler is okay with it. It's kind of heartwarming to know someone misses him, someone wants him around, someone feels incomplete without him.

Maybe they both have issues.

"Don't you want me around, too? I'm a pretty fun guy." Jordan's light is never lost.

"I do want you around." Tyler says. "That's why I called you."

There's a pause. "Are you inviting me over?"

Tyler can't help but chuckle. "No. I just wanted to call you to tell you I told Josh about us. So, uh, you know, I'm more comfortable with doing more things together." He sighs. "And yeah, you're right, he said he doesn't mind. Just that it's weird."

"So I can suck your dick now?" Jordan asks, pretty much disregarding everything else.

"I, I don't--" Tyler bites his lip. "We should probably take things slower. I'm not a romantic, but I'd also like to hold you, and do stupid shit like run my hands through your hair and stuff. Is that weird?"

He hears Jordan snicker. "Tyler, are you seriously asking me if doing things like any normal person would do is weird?"

Tyler huffs. "Well, you just make it seem like I should be on the same boat as you when it comes to already having. . ." Tyler's feels his chest get heavy, never fully processing the thought of actually being intimate with Jordan. Yes, of course, when they were out to eat he was dwelling on it, but he supposed in the moment he wasn't considering everything.

Really, Tyler hasn't had sex in a while. When he first moved here people were surprisingly very invested in him, but also, most of those people were plain out disgusting. Of course Tyler is insecure about his amputation, and these people who'd do things with him were always in it for the fetish aspect of it. Not him.

In all honesty, it destroys any comfortability with himself when that happens. It gets his mind running, considering that maybe his amputation is all he'll ever be.

He's learned it's not true, but it didn't happen quickly.

Maybe he was looking for acceptance in the wrong places.

He's much more careful with these things now, though, for some reason he worries with Jordan. He knows he's the least likely to fetishize it, yet it doesn't stop the thought from running through his head. Is that why he's so adamant about having sex? He enjoys the thought of it so much?

Tyler shakes his head, in disgust.

"Tyler? Did you hear me?" Jordan asks, pulling him away from those ideas.

Tyler breathes in and out. "Sorry, what'd you say?"

Once again, Jordan dismisses it. "Are you okay?"

Tyler runs a hand through his hair, sighing headfully. He doesn't know what to do, where his mind should be, what to think about any of this. "You're not just wanting to have sex because I'm an amputee, right? Because I've dealt with that too many times and I don't think I can do this if that's all you're into me for."

There's silence.

"You don't seriously think that's why I like you, right?" Jordan wonders.

"Well, I don't know--"

"I thought you were hot even before knowing about your leg." Jordan comments, cutting him off. He does that. "I honestly forget most of the time until I'm thinking about it. Like when I was drawing Agayb, or you mentioning right now." The line shuffles a bit. "It's just another part of who you are. Not all you are. And I-- ew. Sorry, but why the fuck are people into that."

Tyler smiles softly. Relieved. Happy. "It's really gross," he states. "Thank you for not making it a big deal, or a fetish. I'm just like anyone else."

Jordan hums in agreement, then stops. "Well, if you were anyone else, I probably wouldn't be interested. I will admit you being half robot is pretty cool and does pique my interest, but I also think you have a really amazing personality."

Tyler continues to smile. "Why are you actually really sweet,"

"Am I not supposed to be sweet? I thought that's what you do when you're interested in someone." Tyler wants him to stop talking; he's too much to handle even with the simplest of things.

"Yeah. I know." He closes his eyes, snuggling into the pillow. "You're cute."

Jordan laughs. "All I did was talk. How am I cute?"

Tyler lets out a noise from the back of his throat. "You're doing things to me, kid."

"Ew. Don't call me kid." Jordan utters.

Tyler rolls his eyes, sighing. "Why not?"

Jordan scoffs. "What do you mean why not?" He starts. "First off, I am not a kid. I'm nineteen. I'm going to be twenty this year. And also, it's just uncomfortable. I don't want the person I'm seeing to call me kid. That's gross." He does have a point, Tyler quickly thinks. "Besides, I'm seriously not that much younger than you, you have no room to say--"

"I'm six years older than you. I can do what I want."

"I," Jordan pauses. "Okay, well it doesn't feel like you're older than me. I think this relationship we have going is pretty even."

Tyler shrugs to himself. "Maybe."

"You don't seem to agree." Jordan comments.

Tyler hums. "I don't know, Jord. You're just one big immature, dorky, endearing young adult if you ask me."

Silence, it's there for a while.

"No one has ever called me Jord," he mutters, and Tyler hadn't even noticed he said that. "And you're right, I am, but I think you like that I'm a big dork."

Tyler nods. "Oh, definitely." Definitely. "It's pretty fun to have someone draw you into an intergalactic character and come to me for life advice the second time ever talking to each other."

Jordan chuckles, then huffs. "Whatever. Won't be the last time."

Tyler smiles. "Good."

There's another pause, and whether it's to bask in this, or to gather thoughts, he doesn't know.

"Okay, well I need to get in the shower, but I do think you should have me over sometime. So you can, you know, hold me and play with my hair like you want." When Jordan says it, it sounds more appealing than before. "And I also just need to get out of the house."

Tyler's smile is all-lip now. "How about this upcoming weekend?"

"Please."

Tyler chuckles. "Okay. I'll pick you up on Saturday, yeah?"

Jordan sounds excited. "Yeah. Noon? I sleep in a lot, my bad."

"I'll be there later. I'll text you when. Be ready." Tyler is exhausted. Probably from the overwhelming amount of nerves he felt today from confessing to Josh. Probably from laying in bed and listening to Jordan's sultry voice.

"Can I spend the night?" He asks.

"No."

"What, why?"

Tyler exhales. "Because, I don't want you to. Maybe next weekend or something."

Jordan groans. "Okay, you actually suck. I'm sick of being home all day; let me just hangout with Robot and get my hair played with."

Tyler eyes go hooded. Honestly, he feels like a parent when it comes to Jordan sometimes. It's like not giving candy to a baby when it's all they want. "We'll have to see. I'm not making any promises." He sighs. "Wear comfortable clothes."

Jordan's probably ecstatic right now. He sure sounds like it. "Awesome." He snickers quietly. "I'm excited. I'll see you then."

Tyler nods. "I'll see you then, Jordan."

He doesn't know what else to say, so he decides that's enough. He pulls his phone away and ends the call, plugging it in before setting it down on the bedside table beside Tyler Jr.

He lets out a heavy sigh as he gets comfortable in bed, not so nervous as he might have been days prior. He has nothing to worry about really, and it's reassuring. He feels like a new person in some strange way, and the only reasonable reasoning behind that has to be Jordan. He's so different than everyone else. He's overbearing, he's weird, he doesn't understand social boundaries-- Tyler loves it.

Maybe he's weird, too. He can't help it.

Tyler is happy. He feels like he's back in highschool again with how stupidly good everything is with Jordan, and, he doesn't mind. He likes the way butterflies somehow flutter in his stomach, he likes that he blushes like it's a hot summer day when he says things for the hell of it.

Jordan is an idiot, and he likes it.

Jordan is profound, and he likes it.

Jordan is shameless, and he likes it.

Jordan is Jordan, and Tyler isn't sure he will ever get enough of it. Surely he won't, he couldn't, not when his heart skips an embarrassing beat when he sees his puppy eyes and head of curls. Not when he pushes Tyler in ways he didn't even know he was holding back from. Definitely not when he's being accepted and embraced for simply being himself.

What more could he ask for? The answer is nothing. He's glad that he let this happen, whether it was unintentional or not.

It's for sure one of the better decisions he has made in life. Jordan is a better decision.

***

As usual, the weekend comes by slowly, but he pushes through. He's giddy. He's stupid. It's fun. It's thrilling. He's almost embarrassed to be feeling this way about something as simple as having Jordan around, but he supposes that's a good thing to feel with someone you're interested in.

For some reason though, he picks him up much later than noon. Five, to be exact. He spent most of the time cleaning up his apartment and making it look presentable, and also just getting ready to have someone besides Josh and Debby over.

When he's in front of Laura and Bill's house, his right leg bounces up and down. Excited? Nervous? Overwhelmed? All of the above, and that's okay, because when he can see Jordan walk out with such a big grin directed towards him, it makes the butterflies he spoke about before go wild.

When Jordan gets into the car, he leans over the dashboard and hugs him tightly. "Missed you," he mutters.

Tyler chuckles, hand at the dip in his back. "I missed you too."

They embrace one another for a little while longer, and once he pulls away, Tyler makes sure Jordan buckles himself in before driving off.

It only takes less than five minutes for him to start messing around with things on the ride to Tyler's apartment. He changes the radio station every minute or so, never listening to a song fully, and he can't figure out what position is most comfortable to sit; he keeps messing with the chair settings.

"You really are a child," Tyler says when noticing.

Jordan shrugs. "Maybe I have ADHD or something."

"Maybe. Or maybe you're just making excuses."

Jordan glances to him once he says it, examining him and Tyler would do it back but he's too focused on getting home. He will not take his eyes off the road. No.

Jordan blinks. "Can you hold my hand?"

Tyler shakes his head. "I'm driving."

"And? You can drive with one hand, can't you?" Jordan just wants what he wants, and he'll do anything to get it. It's simple.

Tyler sighs, moving his right hand off the steering wheel. "Okay." He murmurs, and gladly, Jordan connects their hands together, humming in content. He leans back into his seat after that, looking out the window for the time being and luckily not changing radio stations or messing with the chair settings anymore.

Once they finally get to the apartment, Jordan looks around. Tyler doesn't mind, and he even shows him everything after some time. Of course, there isn't much to show so it's very short, but once he brings him into the bedroom, his eyes widen.

"Holy shit," he breathes.

Jordan furrows his eyebrows. "What?"

Tyler walks to his bedside table, grabbing the stump pot off of it. "Tyler Jr sprouted." He smiles while saying it, bashful for an unknown reason.

Jordan's face doesn't move. "Is this supposed to be some kind of symbolism?"

Tyler chuckles, examining the bit that has grown out from the dirt. He doesn't remember it looking like this when he left, but maybe he just wasn't paying enough attention. He'll have to tell Josh about it as soon as Jordan leaves.

"It's probable," he decides.

Jordan hums, stepping closer and touching his waist. "Are we gonna get to that cuddling you were talking about?"

Tyler brings the plant away from his face, looking down at him. "You're clingy." He comments, because he can, because it's true.

He turns around and places the pot down, stilling when Jordan wraps his arms completely around his waist and pulls him close to where they're chest-to-back. He can feel him breathe against him, snuggle his nose into his spine, curl his fingers into his hoodie. "Yeah, I'm clingy. I can't help it."

Tyler touches his hand. "I don't mind."

Jordan hums. It's quiet for only a moment before he says, "You have crutches." A statement.

Tyler nods. "Yeah."

"Why?"

Tyler turns around in his embrace, running his fingers through his hair. He smells like Degree and cinnamon spice. "Well, I can't really walk when I don't have my prosthesis on, so I need crutches. I used to use a wheelchair but it was too much."

"Oh," Jordan mutters. "Yeah. I-- wow. I didn't even think about that."

"Think about what?" He rests his chin onto his head.

"I've never thought about you without having, uh, what is it called?" Jordan shrugs after a moment. "You know what I mean."

Tyler hums. "Well, if you spend the night you're gonna see me without my prosthesis." He's comfortable with Jordan, he'd say, so he's okay with allowing him to see him at such a vulnerable state. "Can't sleep with it on."

Jordan nods. "Okay." He pulls away after that, looking to him. "Well, I'm staying whether you like it or not, because I don't want to go home." He smiles cheekily once it's said, and Tyler rolls his eyes.

"It's my apartment. What I say goes."

Jordan still smiles. "You don't intimidate me."

"Why not?" He asks.

Jordan runs a thumb over his cheekbone, blinking. "Because, I feel like I have a much bigger demeanor than you."

Tyler's brows pull together. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asks, and then says, "You do not."

Jordan seems amused. "Yeah, okay. Sure."

Tyler shakes his head. "Whatever. Let's go to the livingroom so we can watch stuff and I can hold you. And play with your hair." He pauses. "It's soft."

Jordan raises his eyebrows, pulling away. "Yeah, and I'm the weird one."

"You are the weird one. You know it." Tyler grins momentarily. He grabs one of his hands and guides him back into the livingroom afterwards, sitting down on the sofa. "It's completely normal for me to want to play with you hair. It's nice. Don't you think?"

Jordan looks at him with hooded eyes. "You're super gay."

Tyler hums, leaning back into the cushions and turning the television on. "Must have something to do with me being gay." He comments. "Just a thought."

Jordan snickers at that, slowly laying down. He sticks his legs over the arm of the sofa, kicking his shoes off and sticking his head into Tyler's lap, a hand on what would be his thigh but is now artificial. "I'm glad you're gay." He seems to realize how odd it sounds, so he continues. "I just mean that having you around is pretty nice. You're cool. I like you."

Tyler rolls his eyes, smiling. Jordan has such a strange way of expressing things. It's cute. "I like you too."

Jordan lets out a pleased sound from the back of his throat. "Good. I'd hope so, or else this wouldn't work out."

Tyler hums again and doesn't say anything else, simply running his fingers through the curls in his lap instead. He has to fight to not think about Josh in the midst of it all; he reflects about the fact that they are very different in many ways opposed to similar. Jordan's hair is darker, his eyebrows are much bigger, his nose is wider, his smile is more goofy instead of charming, and he loves it all.

Fuck, Tyler can't believe he's developed these feelings so quickly.

"We should buy pizza." Jordan suddenly says.

"I'm not spending my money on pizza," Tyler replies.

Jordan smiles, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a twenty dollar bill. He looks up at him with bright eyes, and Tyler can't help but stare at the smallest gap between his front teeth. "My dad helped me out, I got it."

Tyler nods, then pauses. "Do, uh, do your parents know about us seeing each other?"

Jordan shrugs. "I told them we kissed right after you guys left on New Years."

Tyler's eyes widen. "What?"

Jordan snickers, snuggling his face into Tyler's shirt. "I tell them everything, I couldn't help it." He huffs lightly. "And besides, that was the first time I kissed someone in probably a year or so. I was pretty happy for myself. I had to tell someone, and I don't really have friends, so."

Tyler shakes his head, continuing to mess with his hair. "What did they say?"

Jordan shrugs. "They don't care that we're seeing each other, they just said they're glad I'm finally building a relationship with at least someone, even if it happens to be my brother's best friend."

Tyler bites his cheek, swallowing thickly. "You better not tell them everything if shit happens. That's just weird."

Jordan laughs, looking up at him. "I swear if I suck your dick I won't tell them. That's for me and me only, yeah?"

Tyler rolls his eyes, a tug pulling helplessly on his lips. "Yeah."

Jordan grins widely at that; slipping his phone out of his pocket afterwards and asking which pizza joint they should order from. They both agree on Domino's (mostly for the cinnamon sticks as desert.) Jordan orders that along with a large Canadian bacon and pepperoni pizza.

Once placing the order, he glances to Tyler again. "I'm bored."

He gets a scoff in repsonse. "You haven't even been here for an hour." Tyler mutters. "And you want to spend the night? You're not helping yourself on me agreeing if you say that."

"No, I'm spending the night." Jordan says. "Show me something cool. You must have something, right?"

Tyler shrugs. "Not really."

Jordan sighs, touching the hand Tyler doesn't have in his hair. "Tell me things about yourself, then."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," he mumbles. "Like, when did you move to California? Why did you move here? What do you miss about Ohio? Is it nice over there?" Jordan bites his lip, closing his eyes while letting out a deep breath. "Because whether you realize it or not, you're really closed off."

Tyler's hand stills from moving in his hair. "Am I?"

Jordan nods easily. "Very much."

Tyler huffs, leaning his head back. "I don't really like sharing about my life." He states. "Besides, Josh and Debby are the only people who I talk to so I'm used to them already knowing everything instead of having to explain. I don't like explaining."

Jordan hums. "Too bad, I'm making you explain."

Tyler sighs. "You're pretty much asking for my sob story, I hope you realize that."

He must not have, because he opens his eyes back up again to look at him with a muddled sincerity. "Well, don't tell me if you don't want to. I didn't know."

Tyler shrugs. "I can handle it."

It took a while, but he can.

Jordan nods. "So can I." He says, closing his eyes again.

Tyler takes a deep breath, deciding to stare at the ceiling, not knowing where else to look. "I moved here when I was twenty one. Drove here. Was just me packed into one car with everything I found reasonable to bring." Tyler smiles softly when something comes to mind. "I got to see a lot of really cool things. I passed through places like Illinois, Texas, and Arizona. It was awesome. I remember it so clearly."

Jordan shakes his head. "You're insane."

"Why?"

"You drove all the way here? How long was that?" He keeps his eyes closed, but his expressions are clear.

"A few days. It's because I stopped a lot, and slept in motels since I need to take it easy with my leg." Tyler knows the whole thing was ambitious, and very risky, but it was thrilling to no extent. He finally felt alive again after all of the immense pain he had gone through.

"Makes sense," Jordan murmurs. "Why did you move here, anyways?"

Tyler's throat tightens subconsciously at the question. His shoulders lift, a heavy breath falling from his mouth. "It was a few years after the, uh, accident. I felt like it was the only reasonable thing to do. Restart. I don't know."

Then, Jordan's eyes open. His brows pull together in concern. "Accident?"

"Well, yeah. I wasn't born without a leg, you know." Tyler mumbles.

Jordan frowns a little, slowly slipping their hands together. "Can I ask what happened, or is that too much? Sorry, I don't-- I don't know what's right and wrong to be asking."

Tyler shrugs once more. "I told you, I don't mind sharing."

He learned in group that it's okay to share your problems. Although that was the whole point of going-- to be helped and comforted by others with disabilities-- it doesn't come easy for him. He always worried of making everything about him, making people uncomfortable with his needs, stuff like that. After some time though, he opened up. He was always the one to sit and keep quiet, but one day, he decided to push himself.

Maybe he's antisocial, yeah. Though, he's gotten much better over time.

Tyler closes his eyes, Adam's apple bobbing. "My mom and I, we were driving home one night." He begins, and fuck, he hasn't talked about this in so long.

Jordan must sense the nerves; he squeezes his hand.

Tyler exhales. "It was really late at night, and it was pouring, too. It snowed the day before so the roads were slick." He shrugs. "You know how it goes." To be completely honest, he's only trying to avoid the actual scarring part of the story.

Jordan shakes his head. "What happened?"

Silence.

Tyler didn't realize it would be difficult to say. He's only ever talked about it so much.

"Highways, heavy rain, and slick roads don't go well together." Tyler ends up saying. "There was a huge accident. Collision after collision after collision. Full speed, stupid fucking drivers." He sighs, he does it often. Aggravated, saddened, angered. Many things. "I honestly don't even remember most of it, it just happened. I barely remember being in the back of the ambulance, I barely remember anything from the the hospital."

He can feel Jordan's heart beat quickly when hearing it.

"I-- my leg was crushed. It was that simple. I got some cuts and bruises on my hips and ribs, but when they told me that the only option was to amputate it, that it was broken beyond repair-- fuck. That was the scariest part." It's so odd to think about himself with both of legs because of how accustomed he is to only having one.

"God," Jordan whispers, gripping his hand tightly once more.

Tyler nods in agreement. "It was the scariest part, but not the worst part."

Jordan looks up at him. "What do you mean?"

Tyler can't bear to look at him, though. After all these years, his eyes still well up with tears. He bites his lip harshly and breathes in and out. "I got lucky."

Jordan blinks. "What?"

"I got lucky," he repeats although it didn't help. "My mom, uh, she. . . She died from the accident."

Jordan's eyes widen at the information, and instantly, he's sitting up and pulling Tyler into such a tight hug it almost knocks the breath out of him. He pushes his nose deep into his neck and exhales against him, fingers digging into his hoodie. "I'm so s--"

"Don't say you're sorry," Tyler mutters. He slowly wraps his arms around him in return.

Jordan nods, he understands. Having Josh as a brother must give him a lot of things to work with, to learn. It's the same thing with Tyler, and that's another reason why he feels comfortable with him. Although he and Josh don't have the same disability, Jordan still knows how to act well enough with someone who does.

And, it's also okay for him to ask questions, it's also okay for him to wonder.

"I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're able to inspire me. I'm glad you feel okay to tell me these things." Jordan presses a kiss to his neck and Tyler hums. Maybe he needs this more than he knows.

"Stop being a sap," He whispers.

Jordan chuckles softly, hesitantly. Tyler just wants the grief to pass. "It's my job."

"As what?"

Jordan kisses his neck one more time before pulling away. He pushes Tyler's hair back, simply examining his features. "As someone who's irritably invested in you."

Tyler gives a careful smile. "I really like you."

Jordan smiles too. "I really like you most."

Tyler hums again. He lifts a hand and holds Jordan's chin, feeling the stubble under his fingertips. He's about to say something else, ask, but Jordan must understand already because he leans closer and brings their lips together. Tyler loses control before he can even gain it, allowing Jordan to slowly throw a leg over his so he's in his lap.

Tyler's hand falls from his chin as soon as his bottom lip gets sucked on, instead moving to Jordan's waist. He holds him close and basks in the way he taste like mint and nothing more.

Had he been chewing on gum? He has no clue.

Tyler kisses back needily, because yes, maybe he is, but so is Jordan. They're both fighting, wanting, needing, wishing.

Tyler opens his mouth when Jordan's tongue touches his lips. He allows it, and he wants it, and he groans quietly when he can really taste the mint.

Though, Jordan pulls away.

Tyler looks at him frantically.

He touches his shoulder, eyes so warm. "Is that okay?" He asks.

Tyler pulls him closer, kissing the tip of his nose. "Yes," he says. They both look at one another for a moment before Jordan suddenly goes back in for more in an abrupt manner, lips molding over one another's and then together. Their breathing gets heavier, chests move faster, hands touch more attentively.

"You're hot." Jordan whispers against him, eyelashes fluttering on his skin.

The blush is faint this time, and Tyler practically gasps when he can feel a hand on his inner thigh.

No, he definitely gasps.

Jordan smiles to himself when it happens, licking up Tyler's tongue while his fingers inch closer to his crotch and fuck-- Tyler actually really wants it now that he thinks about it.

He kisses Jordan one more time before sticking his head into his neck and instead pressing kisses there. "Okay," he breathes.

"Okay what?" Jordan wonders.

Tyler slowly drags his tongue over his exposed skin, sucking afterwards. His nose digs into his own saliva but he doesn't mind, it's actually just turning him on even more. "Suck me off." He whispers, holding the back of his head for support when he can hear Jordan let out the smallest of groans.

Easily, he nods.

He doesn't waste time to bring his hand all the way forward to palm Tyler through his jeans and underwear, kissing behind his ear while doing it.

When he dips his head back, he catches the way Jordan's lips have swelled over the terse affection given before closing his eyes. Live in this moment. Forget about the past. Whimper over the present. Come as he thrives.

His Adam's apple bobs when Jordan grinds against him, and god, he's hard, he's living again, he is alive.

He's lucky.

"If the pizza delivery person ruins this moment, I might lose my shit." Jordan whispers against him, laughs.

Tyler smiles. Maybe he's in a daze. Maybe he's happy.

"I guess you'll just have to be quick," he whispers back, only seeing black, but he's feeling in colors.

Jordan hums, holding onto his shoulders before thrusting forward once again and Tyler can feel the throb in his cock so well. He breathes out, a strained breath, a clogged one. Jordan kisses his chin, slowly slipping out of his lap and to the floor.

He presses his lips to his knee, his real one, his right one, and trails it. Closer closer, closer, and closer. Mid thigh to pelvis, fingers to the button and zipper of his jeans.

Before pulling them down, or at least his boxers, he pauses. "This is okay, right?"

Tyler opens his eyes, carefully looking to him. He looks so good like this. "More than okay." He says.

Jordan nods, blinking. "Watch me."

He was already going to.

Tyler's breath is heavy when Jordan's fingers are delicate, touching his cock just as a tease before slowly pulling his boxers down a little along with his jeans, completely exposing him.

Jordan's cheeks flush for the first time.

Tyler holds his shoulder with one hand, the other gripping his own thigh to steady himself because it really has been a while.

Jordan inhales and exhales, gripping Tyler's waist to bring him closer. He looks back up at him when grabbing his cock, and they stare at one another when Jordan sticks his tongue out and runs it completely up the shaft, then tip, and dips into the slit.

Tyler can't keep his eyes open any longer; he squeezes them shut with a whimper, already trembling.

"Holy shit, holy--" He swallows thickly with his mouth open.

Jordan doesn't stop, and he doesn't want him to.

Tyler gasps as he can feel saliva drop onto his cock, and his whole body tenses when Jordan uses his hand to then stroke him, spread it, make it wet for him. Fuck, it's good.

"I've only sucked dick so many times," Jordan murmurs. Whether he's insecure about it or just giving a warning, Tyler has no idea.

Though, he still nods. Head leaned back and throat strained, he says, "You're already doing so well. It's okay."

Jordan's probably smiling. Tyler doesn't feel capable to look down to see it, he only is capable of feeling the way he moves his hand up and down his cock one more time before leaning forward and wrapping his lips around the tip. Tyler groans, so loudly, so helplessly, quickly bringing a hand over his mouth with furrowed brows.

Jordan pumps his fist and licks around the tip, going further. He's going and going and going and Tyler lifts his head back up to catch a glimpse of it.

"Fuck," he breathes out, nodding along, encouraging him.

Jordan looks up as soon as his nose is buried into his terse amount of pubic hair, and Tyler stares back, not as intensely, more hooded and vulnerable. His hips twitch when feeling the back of his throat though, letting out a quiet moan.

His whole body is hot, his whole body is flushed. He feels like he's burning up in the best way.

Jordan pulls away only to go back down, getting Tyler adjusted to the warmth of his mouth. "Yes," he gets out. "Yes," Again. That's all he can think about is yes because it's what he needs, and Jordan is doing it so well, and its been ages since he has done anything like this. It's good, amazing. Tyler is overwhelmed.

Jordan bobs his head and slowly brings one of his hands to slip into Tyler's underwear, fingers on his balls, and then he pulls him closer to where he isn't completely sat down but has his ass facing him enough.

"What-what are you--"

Jordan pulls off of his cock, looking up at him again.

He doesn't say anything, only bringing his hand out of his boxers momentarily to suck on his fingers. Tyler watches, and he aches at just the sight of it. He knows now. He gets it. He's trembling from excitement and more, impatient.

"Tell me if it's too much," Jordan mutters before slipping his hand back in and instantly is prodding his finger against Tyler's asshole.

"Oh, my god." He groans at the feeling.

It really, really has been a while.

"Good?" Jordan wonders.

Tyler nods easily, quickly. "So good, Jordan. So good."

"More?" He then asks.

Tyler intakes a fast breath, nodding again. "Yes, please."

Jordan hums, leaning down to kiss his cock a few times, and that's when he carefully pushes his middle finger into him. Tyler's whole body tenses only to relax when he's as far as he can go, and he breathes. Both of them do. In sync, in and out, again and again.

"You're tight." Jordan says, so casually.

Maybe this is casual. It should probably be.

Tyler's Adam's apple bobs. "Shut up," he whispers, voice cracking.

Jordan snickers in response. He's such a fucking child it's not even funny, and Tyler would tell him but holy shit he leans down to suck him off again.

Tyler loses it. His abdomen is tight when Jordan is back down to his pubes, and his abdomen is tight when moves in and out of him.

He won't last long, he knows. They both know.

Jordan gags a little when he hits the back of his throat repeatedly, eyes screwing shut with subtle tears welling in them. Tyler can't even notice because his are closed. He's moaning to himself-- no, out loud. He wants to be embarrassed but he's not, he can only think about how amazing he feels right now.

Jordan pulls back to catch his breath, and while doing so, he slowly pushes another finger into him. His pointer.

The stretch burns only slightly. After all this time, Tyler's used to it. He can handle it. He loves it.

"Moan for me," Jordan murmurs.

Tyler's face gets hotter, choking on the whimper that was about to come out, because now it feels stuck. He shakes his head.

"Please?"

Tyler's chest is heavy. "Just-just keep going." He doesn't want to force it.

Jordan seems to understand. He holds Tyler's waist while pushing further into him and already Tyler is wanting to moan, but he refrains from doing so. Waiting. Therefore, Jordan continues until he gets what he wants, like always. He takes his entire cock into his mouth faster than either of them can blink, moving up and down, just like his fingers, just like Tyler's chest.

"Jordan," Tyler whispers in a whine, the grip he has on his shoulder tightening.

Jordan hums around him, making Tyler unintentionally buck his hips up.

He only gags again.

"Fuck." Tyler breathes out. Jordan's fingers curl. "Fuck!"

He slaps his hand over his mouth, eyes widening, body shaking.

"Right there?" Jordan asks, delicately rubbing his fingers around that area inside of him and Tyler whimpers, the sensation phenomenal but also overwhelming to no extent.

Jordan pushes into it, which only causes Tyler to moan pathetically. He nods frantically. "There, yes. Please. Harder. Faster." He's speaking in a delusional, not sure what's real and what's fake, he only knows that Jordan is making everything better. His heart races, his toes curl. His lips part, his face flushes.

Jordan holds his thigh while pressing his fingers harshly into his prostate and never taking his eyes off of him. He watches Tyler twitch, squirm, whimper. He watches his hips move upwards again and he watches his face as he moans like no one else is around.

It's just them, only them.

"There you go, baby." Jordan whispers.

Tyler is flushed head to toe. So unbelievably hot.

"Are you gonna cum?" He then wonders, his hand trailing up and down his thigh. Well, what's left of it.

Tyler bites his lip, squeezing his eyes shut as he nods.

Jordan knows how to do this, it's obvious. He slowly takes Tyler's cock back into his mouth but doesn't move as quickly this time, being delicate. His fingers slow down from ramming into his prostate, softly rubbing circles into it, everything becoming more careful. Or at least, Tyler thought so. That's before Jordan suddenly says, "Fuck my mouth." And begins curling his fingers harshly into the same area once more.

"I--" he lets out a breathy moan. "Okay." He wants to tell him he doesn't have to do this, but he's sure he wouldn't have offered it he didn't want to.

Tyler looks down at him, slipping his fingers into the curls on his head and thrusting forward once just to test it out. Jordan trembles with him, and it's good. Really good. So he does it again. And again. And again. He does it repeatedly, never taking his eyes off Jordan even when a tear slips down his cheek, even when he watches his free hand goes to palm himself through his own jeans.

Tyler groans at the sight, pushing down on his fingers in hopes that will push him over the edge, and as soon as he does it, Jordan curls them into his prostate. It's perfect, it's everything he needs, and without a warning he's filling up Jordan's mouth with semen.

His hips twitch, his eyes close. The only thing he can process is how quickly is chest is moving and down and how heavy his breathing is.

Both of his hands still in Jordan's hair. Life feels like it's on pause in that very moment.

While panting he notices that Jordan slowly pulls off of his cock, but he can't bring himself to look because he's in a state of pure bliss, nothing more, nothing less. Jordan must notice too; he carefully pulls his fingers out of him-- which really, is an uncomfortable sensation-- when he crawls back into Tyler's lap and moves right to his ear. He swallows thickly. Loudly. Tyler hears it so clearly, and he bites his lip at the thought of Jordan taking down his own load.

"You taste good." He whispers, kissing Tyler's neck.

Tyler holds his waist. "Shut up." He breathes out.

Jordan smiles against him, pressing his lips behind his ear afterwards and says, "Listen to me."

Tyler opens his eyes, but Jordan quickly shuts them again, connecting their lips together. He bites, he sucks. "Just listen to me." He mutters after a moment.

"Okay." Tyler replies, head clouded.

He hears Jordan unzip his pants, and suddenly, he can feel his hard cock between them. Tyler gets it now. He knows what's going to happen.

Jordan's hand moves up and down in a matter of seconds. Tyler's not sure how either, but his hand is wet, and he can hear the sound of it every time he slides down his shaft. He also hears him letting out small breathy moans in his ear, rubbing his ass against Tyler's right thigh in the meantime.

It's all so much. This time, though, he doesn't mind.

"I've thought about you a lot when I masturbate," Jordan whispers, then gasps.

Tyler's still flushed beyond belief. "You're dirty."

Jordan kisses his throat. "You're hot."

Tyler touches his thigh, still coming down from his high. "What do you think about?"

Jordan groans in his ear unintentionally, pumping himself faster, grinding down harder. "You-you beneath me. Me beneath you. Either--" his breath stutters, thighs tensing. "Either or."

Tyler hums, hands moving closer to his crotch. "Anything else?"

Jordan sticks his face further in his neck while he whines. "God, I want to have sex with you. Not just oral." He breathes onto Tyler's skin, and he knows this closeness is what he needs. He knows he needs somebody like Jordan in his life. Someone overbearing with their thoughts, but not too harsh when they're given. Someone who wants things and eases Tyler into it. Someone who likes him just the same. "I-I think about how good it would be to see you riding me, or, fuck, or how nice it-it would be to see your face the whole time you're doing anything to me."

Tyler's jaw tightens, fingers moving into his underwear. "Tomorrow." He whispers.

Jordan's hand slows down. "So I'm spending the night?"

Tyler can't help but smile. He's stupid. "Yes, you can spend the night."

Jordan nods, biting the grin off of his face, and he gasps  when Tyler touches his balls, fondles them, plays with them. "Fuck," he utters. "I'm-I'm gonna--"

He does.

His face scrunches up while he thrusts into his hand, palm and fingers being coated with his own cum.

Tyler kisses his temple, guiding him through it. He runs his hand up and down his back when Jordan falls slump against him, breathing heavily and even heavier than that.

"You're so good." Tyler whispers. He doesn't know why.

Jordan smiles.

They sit just like that for as long as either of them need to, and after a minute or so, Tyler pulls his hands out of Jordan's pants. He gets a huff in return, then he lifts his head to look at him. They stare at each other. Jordan's puppy eyes are blown, and his lips are pink and red. Tyler wonders if he looks the same.

Probably not as lovely.

Jordan leans forward until their lips meet. It isn't as hungry or needy as before, it's simply sweet, like it's meant to be. They rub their noses together.

"Lick my hand clean," Jordan murmurs.

Tyler opens his eyes again only to see him looking back. "Yeah?"

Jordan exhales, nodding. "Yeah."

He takes his hand off from around his cock finally, lifting it up. They stare back at one another again, and slowly, Tyler grabs ahold of him, bringing his fingers into his mouth and sucking on them. It isn't the best taste, but it's also not the worst, and so Tyler licks up his palm, all the way to his wrist. He licks it clean, like he was asked, and Jordan wipes his hand off on his jeans afterwards.

He opens his mouth to speak, but the doorbell rings.

"Fuck." Tyler groans.

"My appetite is on full blast," Jordan snickers.

"Yeah, I can tell." Tyler says. "Get off my lap so I can get it. And give me the money."

They both tuck themselves back into their underwear and jeans, Jordan helping Tyler off the couch once they're no longer exposed. He does in fact hand him the twenty dollar bill and while Tyler makes his way to the door, Jordan heads to the kitchen to wash his hands.

The interaction is a little awkward, yeah. All Tyler can think about while the delivery person speaks is how Jordan's fingers were up his ass only so long ago. He tells her to keep the change once he has the two boxes in hand, and quickly shuts the door when she turns around with a small smile.

He walks into the kitchen afterwards, seeing Jordan practically drool at the smell of food.

"Get paper plates. They're up there." He points to the cupboard.

Jordan complies easily, quickly opening up the box and grabbing a few slices to eat.

Tyler only gets two. "I don't know how you're going to eat that much. I'm so worn out I can't even think about gorging like that."

Jordan smiles. "I told you, I'm a growing boy." He lifts a piece of pizza up to his mouth after that, but before he can eat it, Tyler stops him by touching his arm.

Jordan looks to him, brows furrowed.

"Kiss me one last time before you have pepperoni breath." He says.

Jordan smiles again at that. He puts the pizza back down and holds onto Tyler's chin with his clean, not greasy hand, pulling him close until their lips meet. He doesn't taste like mint anymore. He tastes like him and the thought itself is absurd.

Tyler pulls away momentarily only to lean forward and kiss him again.

"You should spoon me tonight," Jordan mumbles against his lips, smiling carefully when he takes a step back and continues to focus on his food.

Tyler only hums. "I need to shower once we're done eating."

Of course, that piques Jordan's interest. "Can I join?"

"Yeah, no."

He frowns. "Why not?"

Tyler sighs. "Well, I have to take my prosthesis off when I shower which means I can't stand, so I have a handicapped shower. It has railing and a seat. The seat takes up a good amount of room, I'm not sure there would be enough for both of us."

Jordan blinks. "Oh, crap." He swallows thickly. "That's another thing I've never thought about."

Tyler nods. "That doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Does what bother me?" Jordan wonders, taking a bite of his food.

Tyler shrugs. "That we can't shower together, really."

Jordan is quick to shake his head, and it's relieving. Tyler's terrified that maybe this is too much or too little for him. "I don't care." He says. "Yeah, it would be nice to shower together, but it's whatever. I can see you naked and wet some other time." He smirks to himself after that, and Tyler rolls his eyes. Though, he can't help but smile slyly too.

"Definitely." He agrees.

They end up eating and talking in the kitchen for a while until Tyler's exhaustion really hits him. He and Jordan make their way into his bedroom after storing away all the leftovers.

Tyler grabs his pajamas and towel, sitting them down on the bathroom counter so he didn't have to go through the hassle of doing it on crutches instead. It's a routine he's gotten used to. Making sure everything is in a reasonable place before taking his prosthesis off.

And, now is the time.

He sits at the side of his bed with Jordan, and it doesn't surprise him that he tries to ease the situation by saying, "Is this the time where the half robot becomes fully human?"

Tyler looks to him. "The human aspect of me is partial."

Jordan smiles, leaning onto his shoulder.

He simply watches, and Tyler's okay with that. He slipped off his jeans already so all he's only left in his boxers on his bottom half.

Tyler unwraps the lace and carefully pulls the prosthesis off, as well as the sleeve. The hair he has in that area is angled weirdly because of the pressure, but he's used to it, and Tyler breathes out when he's back to that vulnerable state again.

Maybe the prosthetic part of him became a shield over the years, he's not sure.

Jordan hums. "Wanna know something odd?"

Tyler glances to him, feeling smaller. "What is it?"

Jordan blinks once, twice. "I don't feel any different. Should I?" He looks down at Tyler's leg-- lack of leg-- and blinks again. "It's you. I like you."

God, Tyler smiles. "That's good."

Jordan smiles too. "You're good."

Tyler hums, and after a moment, he reaches for his crutches. "You can stay in here if you want, or you can," he pauses, thinking over the choices. "You can come into the bathroom with me while I shower."

Jordan instantly stands up. "Okay."

"But," Tyler starts.

His brows pull together. "But what?"

Tyler clears his throat, helping himself off the bed with the crutches so he's Jordan's height again. "You have to get naked too. I can't be the only one."

Jordan chuckles, shaking his head. "It's gonna be cold."

Tyler shrugs as best as he can. "Then I guess you're staying out here,"

Jordan is quick to groan. "No, no." He says. "Let's go. I can deal with it."

Tyler smiles in a small manner. "Okay." He mutters.

Tyler makes his way into the bathroom, Jordan following right behind. It isn't a very big room. At all. And it's nearly uncomfortable for both of them to be in there together, but they make it work.

Somehow, like a mutual agreement, they undress at the same time. Tyler has to sit on the toilet lid since it's far too difficult and practically impossible to do it standing up. He starts with his hoodie, then his shirt, and looks back up to see Jordan in only his briefs and socks.

Tyler stares at his happy trail, Jordan stares at his chest.

Slowly though, Jordan breaks their eye contact and pulls down his underwear, revealing every dip and every edge. His hip bones aren't as sharp as Tyler's, but they're definitely prominent. Definitely lovely. His whole body is.

Tyler doesn't need words to express it. It's obvious.

Soon enough he's yanking his own boxers off as best as he can whilst sitting down, throwing everything onto a pile on the floor before leaning over to start the shower. Neither of them say anything, for a while. They're naked. They're vulnerable. They're human.

And, they're falling for one another quickly, but that's evident.

Once the shower warms up enough, Tyler carefully helps himself onto the seat inside, holding the railing to steady himself. He also has a nonslip shower mat, which is heavily advised for people like him. There's only so much he can do if he falls without his prosthesis on.

He and Jordan meet eyes as he pulls the curtain forward to block everything.

It's fine.

The shower runs, and Tyler does what he needs to do. Jordan simply listens. Waits. Imagines. He sits on the toilet lid where Tyler's bare ass just was, now his bare ass there.

"Have you hung Agayb up?" Jordan asks after a moment.

Tyler stills from adding shampoo into his hair. "Was I supposed to?"

Jordan is probably shrugging right now. "No. I was just asking." The thought didn't even cross Tyler's mind, really. It felt too personal to put up anywhere, but maybe that's why he should put it up. He does have Tyler Jr by his beside table, after all.

"I will once I'm done." He decides, continuing what he was doing.

Jordan hums, and right afterwards, he's saying, "I plan on drawing you sometime."

Tyler doesn't pause now, he only adds body wash to his loofah. This should be casual. It is casual. "You do?"

"Mhm." Jordan lets out. "You're really handsome, how could I not?"

Tyler chuckles, shaking his head. "You're seriously such a nerd, shut up."

Jordan dismisses it. It's not surprising. "I want to draw your hands, and your eyes, and your nose, and-- fuck, your lips. Definitely your lips. I'll probably draw that first." He sighs pleasantly. "They're my favorite."

Tyler has a hard time not blushing.

"What would you draw of me?" Jordan asks when he gets no response.

"Your eyes," Tyler says, so easily, so quick. They swallow up his whole being in one stare. And that's how this entire thing started. One stare.

Jordan chuckles quietly. "Why?"

Tyler exhales. "I don't know. I like them."

He does know, he just doesn't feel like explaining. It's too much but he worries it might be too little of a reason to prioritize.

Jordan hums again, switching to another topic. It seems like his mind is always running, and whether that should be concerning or not, Tyler has no idea. He finds it cute. "I'm cold." He says.

"I don't know what to tell you." Tyler answers.

There's a pause.

"Do you think I can at least try to get in there with you?"

Tyler rolls his eyes, unintentionally smiling to himself at that. He sighs; he loves how needy Jordan is for some god damned reason. "Fine. Whatever. Be careful."

Quickly, Jordan is pulling the shower curtain over and steps inside. In a matter of seconds too, his ass is right in Tyler's face, but it's okay. Tyler holds his hips and moves him to the side so he can at least sit on the shower wall and not block all the water from getting to him.

"Just sit there," he mutters.

"Okay."

Tyler nods, lathering himself in soap suds that smell like Axe. "Are you warm?" He asks after a moment.

Jordan smiles easily. "Yes." He says. "And I have a good view, I'm pretty happy."

Tyler rolls his eyes again. He's too much. "You're crazy."

Jordan simply smiles more. "Crazy into you."

Tyler shakes his head, nonetheless grinning to himself. He's happy, yeah. There's something about Jordan that makes his whole body jubilant, and he's not sure he will ever get enough of him no matter how irritating he could possibly be. Tyler doesn't see it that way, though. He's not irritating. He's charming, he's bashful, he's honest. It's good.

Jordan watches without a word for the rest of the time they spend in the shower. He looks up at Tyler with those-- point in case-- puppy eyes. Blinking in slow motion, touching his body with ease. And, as much as he doesn't like it or need it, he helps him out of the shower once he's done and brings him back to sit on the toilet lid.

He's dripping wet while Tyler's drying off.

"Well, get a towel. Don't just stand there and make the floor wet." He ends up saying.

Jordan seems to just now notice what he was doing, and quickly, he's grabbing a towel on the rack over Tyler's head.

"Sorry." he murmurs.

Tyler hums, reaching out once he dries his back. "Come here," Jordan's cock is facing him so aggressively but he ignores it. It's not important right now. What's important is how he takes a few steps forward and looks down at Tyler, waiting for him to do something.

He does, too.

He wraps his arms around his hips and pulls him close to where he can rest his head at his abdomen.

"Thank you." He whispers.

Jordan slinks his fingers into Tyler wet hair, massaging his scalp. "For what?"

Tyler kisses his skin. It's still covered in water, but now it's also covered in love. "For not making anything a big deal." He replies. "I. . . I trust you. I do. You're so good to me, you know."

Jordan slowly moves his head so Tyler's now looking up at him. He smiles. "Robot Tyler definitely piqued my interest, but human Tyler is just as good. If not, better." He's such a idiot. Such an idiot. Tyler loves it. "I'm glad I've gotten to see all of you. I like all of you."

Tyler blinks, smiles. "I like all of you." He says.

Jordan nods. "Well, get dressed so we can cuddle already. I'm pretty exhausted."

Tyler nods as well. He lets Jordan move out of his hold so he can finish drying off to change, and he does the same thing. He only slips on his boxers and hoodie, that's all he needs, and once he's done, he helps himself up with his crutches once again.

"Ready?" He asks Jordan.

"Yeah." He says. Then, looks to the floor. "Want me to get your clothes?"

Tyler looks down at them too.

He usually gets them the next morning once he has his prosthesis on so I he didn't have to struggle with holding things and moving on crutches at the same time.

Maybe his routine is going to change with Jordan around though.

"Okay." He answers.

Jordan nods, grabbing all of his clothes from the floor and throws them into the laundry hamper once they're out of the bathroom. The bedroom is much colder too, and easily, they're both shivering.

Tyler just wants to get under the covers already and sleep, but he has something to do beforehand.

He sits down on the side of the bed, reaching into of the drawers to grab the rolled up paper he was gifted only so long ago. Things have moved fast, yet, he's sure it's a good fast. He hasn't felt this alive in a while.

"Hang this up for me, yeah?" He asks Jordan once unravelling it.

Jordan smiles when he sees his drawing. "Yeah." He responds. He grabs it from Tyler's hands and asks, "Where?"

Tyler hands him tape as well. He has no idea why he has it.

And momentarily, they're both looking around the room to find a good enough spot for it, but once Tyler looks back over to where his plant is sprouting, he knows exactly where it should go. "Hang it over Tyler Jr," he decides.

Jordan laughs without any question. "Okay."

He makes sure it's centered before ripping off pieces of tape to keep it up. When he's done, he stands back to look at it. He and Tyler both look at it. Admiring it. Loving it. Everything in between and more.

"Perfect." Tyler breathes.

Jordan nods I'm agreement. "Now hold me."

Tyler shakes his head, chuckling. "Yeah." He mutters. "Turn the lights off and get into bed, then."

Quickly, Jordan is doing just that. He closes the door and turns the lights off in a swift flick, then, is crawling right under the covers, curling into Tyler's side.

It's warm. It's all so warm.

Jordan's nose digs into Tyler's chest and one of his arms holds around his waist tightly, making sure he wouldn't be leaving any time soon. And, he won't. Definitely not. Not when Jordan likes to whisper goofy things in his ear and touches any part of his body like it's the first he has ever seen. Not when he's already gotten so far under Tyler's skin that he can't map his way out.

Not when he makes Tyler unreasonably happy for simply being himself.

It's not until Jordan's breathing has gotten longer and softer when Tyler looks to the stump pot. He can even see from this angle how far it has come, how much it has grown.

He glances to Jordan momentarily, and he's asleep, so Tyler reaches for his phone and calls the one person he will always fall to, no matter the situation, no matter how much anxiety he feels to open up.

It rings, and rings, and rings.

Tyler thinks there's a chance he might not answer, but that's until he hears, "Yes?"

Tyler smiles, closing his eyes. "Josh,"

"What's up?" He wonders.

Tyler breathes in and out, the hand he has connected to Jordan's giving a small squeeze. "Tyler Jr has sprouted." He whispers.

There's a pause, a sense of understanding.

"I'm happy for you." He answers finally after a moment to recollect, and Tyler can hear his faint joy. It's something to get used to, both of them, but they're learning as it goes.

"Thank you," he speaks quietly. "I love you."

Josh exhales. "I love you too."

"Goodnight." He then says. It's been a long, long day.

"Goodnight, Stump." Josh mutters. "Tell Jordan I said hi." He knows too well, but he deserves to know. It's okay.

"I will." He decides, ending the call after that.

He plugs his phone back into the charger and turns in Jordan's hold. It's the one time where his eyes aren't frantically searching for anything to grasp, they're only closed, serene, and Tyler leans forward to press a kiss to his brow.

"Goodnight." He whispers against his skin. It's a touch, a newcomer.

He expects to get no response, but Jordan tends to do the unexpected. "Goodnight." He answers.

Tyler smiles.

It's good to be alive, he decides.