An ending, as promised.
42...
If I could hear her heartbeat again, I knew that I could do anything. But Pam didn't have a heartbeat anymore. I would never hear it again. Instead, all I could hear was the sounds of the water and the wind. Soon I could hear rain too, as it fell from the dark sky onto the three of us.
"You know." Lisa said again.
She was still looking at me. Still waiting. But for what?
Yes, I knew. I knew that I loved her and my mother. I knew that I did. There were things that I knew without knowing now that I had seen more of the world than four white walls and a mirror.
I knew that sometimes there were answers, and sometimes there were only questions. One question was all I could focus on in that moment. How.
Pam was between us on the ground, her body getting colder and colder. I wanted to save her. I wanted to make her eyes full again. Full of life, like when she looked at me the last time. When she was so glad that I was alive. I wanted her to look at me like that again.
But she couldn't. She was empty now. And I didn't know how to fix it.
"Roy," Lisa's voice was loud enough for me to hear over the noise all around us from the water and the rain. "You don't have to think. You just have to know."
"I can't," I insisted, shaking my head. "I want to but I can't."
Lisa turned her head to the side, still keeping her eyes on mine. I couldn't look away from her when she did that. I didn't want to. "Just feel it Roy. It's already inside of you, you just have to feel it."
I opened my mouth and then closed it again, shaking my head in confusion. I didn't understand. I wanted to, more than anything. But I was lost again. Lost in her words and how desperately we both wanted to help the woman lying in the sand between us.
"What's holding you back?" Lisa asked me, her voice much stronger than mine.
"I-I can't—" I looked down. "I can't hear her anymore."
I knew she understood me. She always understood me, even when I didn't say anything at all. "But you've always been able to hear it," she said, causing me to look up. "You showed it to me once, in your memories. You heard it there. So bring it back now. Listen for it and hold onto it until you can hear it again for real," she gripped my hands tightly. "Do it Roy. I'll help you."
Lisa closed her eyes. I quickly did the same.
I tried to focus.
I tried to listen.
I still couldn't hear it. I couldn't concentrate.
"Come on," Lisa mumbled. I felt her squeeze my hands even tighter.
"Please help me," I whispered. I knew she was trying so hard. But I didn't know if it would be enough.
Then I felt her palm against my cheek, her fingers brushing against my jaw as she reached out to touch me. And that's when I heard it. The memory of a quiet, familiar rhythm that I had only ever shared with one person. Lisa had heard it once, days ago when she saw inside of my mind. It was my first memory.
I gasped and fell forward, my whole body shaking as I focused on the memory Lisa had given back to me. The memory of my mother's heartbeat, strong and loud in my head. The emotions that came with the sound were more than I could bear. I was sobbing now, with my eyes tightly shut. But I could feel more than sadness. More than fear and that cold anxiety that used to cripple me. Now I could feel life, or the memory of it. And I had to make it real again.
A familiar icy sensation crawled up my spine until my head was pounding. But the cold wasn't from the rain that had begun to pour down heavily upon us, or the wind that was starting to die down. It was from my abilities. The power that had always been inside of me.
I could feel that power coursing through me now like the blood in my veins. But it didn't stop. Instead, it passed through me, into Lisa. She let out a sharp breath and fell into me, her head on my shoulder as we leaned over my mother, our hands still entwined.
"You heard it," Lisa whispered breathlessly.
"Help me," I urged her again, forcing my eyes open. I stared down at Pamela's face, willing every ounce of my power into her, hoping that she would feel it, that she would be okay again.
Still gripping Pamela's hands in mine, I leaned down and placed my head on her ribs, just under her heart. I felt Lisa wrap her arms around me. We held each other like that, letting the power take over and holding onto the hope of what it would do.
"Please," I whispered, "please help me." I wasn't talking to Lisa anymore. I knew that she was doing all she could. Already I felt the power increasing as the two of us used our abilities as they were meant to be used—to heal.
But the heartbeat from my memory was still just that—a memory. I had to try harder. I had to remember more.
Groaning, I gritted my teeth and forced my mind to work in spite of the pounding inside my head. I looked back. Back before today. Before Lisa. Before the white room. Before James and Marley. Back until there was nothing but blackness.
Because she was there then. She would be here too. I knew it, because as long as I could feel her there, I could bring her back here.
The water was quiet now. The rain had stopped and the wind was all but gone. There was no sound in my mind other than my mother's heartbeat. But it was still just a memory and it wasn't loud enough.
I forced the sound to grow louder even as that brought more pain to my body. Because it was more than my head that hurt now, it was every bone, every muscle, every movement that made me ache as I gave all I had to bring my mother back to life.
When I felt the darkness creeping in, I wasn't surprised. I knew that I couldn't keep using my abilities like this without consequences. But I wasn't alone this time. Lisa was helping me. She was making me stronger than I had ever been before. I used that strength to fight the waves of nausea that always came before I lost consciousness so that I could keep going.
So that I could heal my mother.
So that we could save the one that we loved.
I heard Lisa say my name. I knew she must have seen that I was losing strength, but I kept focusing on Pamela. I didn't try to open my eyes. I couldn't. Not until I had no more power left to use.
Finally, I felt a burst of power flow out of me and into Pam, like a light bulb exploding inside of my head, its brightness leaving me behind for her. I exhaled as the power left and the pounding in my head became nothing more than a dull ache.
It was over now. I had done all that I could.
Slowly, I tried to lift my head. But moving was impossible. I felt sick and weak and I knew that I would never feel anything else. Because I had failed. I knew that I had failed without even looking, because Lisa had started to cry, harder than she ever had before.
"Roy," she sobbed, tugging at the back of my shirt.
I moaned softly, choking on the air that I barely had strength enough to inhale.
"Roy get up," Lisa urged, still crying.
Instead of getting up, I pulled away from her and my mother, curling on my side with my knees pulled up to my chest, my fingers scraping through my hair as I gripped my head.
I felt a hand tug on my shirt again. Lisa was still sobbing loudly, repeating my name. It was the only thing she had breath enough to say.
"I tried," I gasped, digging my fingers against my scalp to stop the pain of my failure from overwhelming me. But it didn't work.
I had tried. But it wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough.
My hands trembled as I curled them into fists and pulled my head against my knees. I didn't want to see anyone or anything.
I belonged in the darkness.
I wanted to disappear in it.
"James was right," I choked. "I-I can't do good things. I'm bad."
Lisa was quieting down now, forcing herself to breathe instead of sob. I was glad of that. I didn't want her to cry, even when I couldn't stop my own tears from falling into the sand beneath my cheek.
"Nobody talks about my son like that. Not even my son."
All the air in my lungs froze.
"Roy," she whispered gently, her warm hands pulling mine from my face. "Don't be sad Roy. I never want you to be sad again. Especially not because of me."
I stared up in shock and confusion as Pamela took both of my hands and pulled me up. When I was sitting in front of her, she bent forward on her knees and carefully put her arms around me. Without thinking, I threw my arms around her and held her back, my head on her shoulder. After a minute, I slid my head down and to the right until my ear was pressed against her chest.
And I heard her heartbeat.
It was there now, loud and real.
I hadn't failed. We had saved her. I had my mother back.
___________________________________________________________
Roy wasn't listening to me. He wasn't responding. But I had to make him see what he had done—what we had done together. He had to know that it was working. That Pam was coming back to us. That we were healing her, just like we were always meant to do.
I wanted to tell him, but the words just wouldn't come. All I could manage to say was his name, but he wasn't listening to me. He couldn't see her eyes with his head pressed against her chest. But I could.
I watched in awe as the emptiness faded from Pam's dark blue irises, replaced with light—the same kind of light that I had burst from me and from Roy only a few moments before. We had done it. We had brought her back to life.
When Roy rolled away from her, I realized that he didn't know. But he had to know. I had to tell him. So I stopped crying, and tried to breathe instead. My emotions had come so swiftly and with such strength that I was nearly hyperventilating by the time Aunt Pam blinked and pushed herself up onto her elbows.
Covering my mouth with my hands to try and control my breathing, I stared at her, unable to speak. The rain had soaked all three of us, washing the blood from our faces. There was no trace of it on Pam's face or neck as she sat up and looked at me with great confusion. The wound on her forehead, the gash from the metal door, the injury that had taken away her life, was completely healed. There wasn't even a scar.
She opened her mouth to say something when I pointed at Roy. She looked over and saw him curled up in the sand, so sad and small, and knew just what to say to him.
She was holding him now as he cried silently onto her shoulder.
As I watched them, I was finally able to regain my breath and speak. But I chose to remain silent instead. This was their time—the first time Roy had been held by his mother, and the first time he could hold her back.
Tucking my legs underneath me, I laid down on the sand and closed my eyes, letting this be their moment, and giving them the privacy they so deserved.
They had so much to say to each other. It didn't take long for Pam to start telling him all the things that he needed so badly to hear. I tried to listen to the ocean instead, but their words kept drifting over to me.
Eventually I got up and walked over to the water instead, standing just beyond the reach of the tide as I stared up at the sky as the dark rain clouds moved inland, revealing a bright, full moon.
___________________________________________________________
I hadn't thought about what I would say to my mother when I finally found her. Even if I had, the way that we met the first time hadn't given me the chance to say anything. But I could say whatever I wanted to now. She told me that.
"Ask me any questions. Tell me anything." She squeezed me tighter and then let me go, scooting back and folding her legs underneath her as she stared at me and waited.
I leaned forward and touched her forehead. "Does it hurt anymore?" I asked, my fingers brushing the skin where her wound had been. She sat no more than an arm's length away. It was easy to reach out and touch her and I was glad. I wanted her to stay close.
"Nope." She shook her head, her hands folded in her lap. "Not a bit."
I sighed, relieved, and sat back on the sand with my knees in front of me. I stared at her for a while, chewing my lip.
She raised her eyebrows and gave me a half smile. "What are you thinking, Roy? What's going through your mind? Talk to me, kiddo."
I blinked when she called me that, and looked away. "M-Marley used to call me that," I mumbled, squirming uncomfortably before wrapping my arms around my knees.
"I know." She nodded. "I asked her to."
I glanced back up at her.
"Are you going to ask me why?" she blinked.
"Some people don't like my questions."
"I love your questions, kiddo."
"Why?" I blurted. "Why did you ask her to call me that?"
She smiled sadly at me and reached out to place her hand on my left knee. "Because I called you that before you were born. I wanted you to have a part of me, even if you didn't know that's what it was."
I swallowed hard, resisting the tears that wanted to pool under my eyes. She had wanted something for me—something good. She had thought about me. I was important to her then. And I had meant something to her.
"You wanted me then?" I asked quietly. "Back when I was a baby?"
"Yes." She nodded.
"Why?"
Her eyes widened. "Why did I want you?"
I nodded in silence.
"Because you're my son. No matter what anyone says. And I loved you more than anything." She answered.
"Okay." I said.
She nodded. "Okay."
We were silent for a while. I couldn't think of any more questions.
"Did you ever...dream about me?" she asked suddenly. I noticed she looked nervous for the first time and I felt an immediate urge to put her at ease.
"Every night." I answered.
She let out a soft sigh, smiling. "Yeah?"
I nodded.
"I dream about you too, you know. Every single night. I never stopped thinking about you." She told me gently as she cupped some sand in her hands and let it fall back to the ground between us.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Why?" I asked.
"Why what?" she asked, looking confused for the first time.
"Why did you think about me?" I reached up and plucked at the collar of my shirt. "I think about you all the time but you...you never saw me again and I...I don't understand." I hesitated to say that I didn't understand because I didn't want to upset her.
She leaned forward then, her face only a short distance from mine. "Because I love you." She said the words carefully, each one pronounced with great force.
"Why?" I asked again, still a little confused. "Lisa loves me too, but I don't know why." I confessed, and then clenched my jaw, wishing I hadn't said that out loud.
"I love you because you are the most precious person in the world to me, except for your girlfriend over there." She reached out and pointed toward Lisa. "I love the two of you more than anything else in the world."
"G-girlfriend?" I repeated, unfamiliar with the word or its meaning. "I-I don't—" I stopped talking, chewing my lip instead.
Pamela gave me a big smile. "I'm very happy that you don't know what that means yet." She told me, patting my knee. "Because that means that I get to keep you for a little while longer. If you'd like that," she added hurriedly.
"Keep me?" I repeated.
"Yes. Keep you. I want to keep you Roy."
"Well I...um..." I frowned, thinking.
Her face fell, but she tried to hide her disappointment. "You don't have to live with me. I understand if you're angry about all this. I mean, good god you've got every right to be angry," she was nodding as she spoke, her eyes widening as her voice got more intense. "After everything that's happened to you, I wouldn't blame you for hating everyone, especially me."
I shook my head quickly, reaching out and grabbing her hand before she turned away from me. "No I could never hate you, I love you, you're my mother and I want to stay with you...it's just...I-I love Lisa too and I don't want...I can't...we can't be separated again." I finally managed, my hands shaking as I waited for Pam to get angry.
She didn't get mad. She laughed. "Lisa isn't going anywhere if it isn't with me, kiddo. She's precious to me too, just like you are."
"Oh," I glanced over my shoulder at Lisa. She was standing near the water, almost too far away to see in the dark. "If you keep me, then can we keep her too?" I asked.
She nodded. "Absolutely. But you have to sleep in separate bedrooms. And I have to have a talk with you before you two do any more making out."
I glanced at her warily. "A talk?" I repeated.
"Yes. A talk."
"Will you talk to Lisa too?"
"Lisa has already had this talk. But don't worry. Right now we don't have to worry about it." She told me, waving her hand.
"Okay," I nodded hesitantly.
"Right now I think you have one more question." She said, smiling warmly as she got to her feet. I scrambled up hurriedly, stumbling back as a wave of dizziness hit me. She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward her, into a hug. When she let me go, I wasn't dizzy anymore.
"What question?" I blinked as she wiped several strands of hair out of my face. "I've asked you all of my questions. I don't have anymore...right now," I said.
"It's not a question for me," she answered with a light chuckle.
I watched her laugh, my lips curving into an involuntary smile. She smiled back at me warmly and I glanced downward, tugging at my shirt.
"Roy I..." she hesitated when I looked up at her again. After a moment, she let out a quick breath and went on. "I know you don't really know me yet but I promise you that I will always be here for you, no matter what. I really...I really want to be your mom."
She was still smiling, but there were tears in her eyes. I didn't want her to cry. Ducking my head, I stepped forward and carefully pressed my cheek against her shoulder. I felt her arms wrap around me, pulling me into a hug.
I could feel the dampness of her shirt on my cheek. When I pulled away, there was a smear of blood on my skin. She reached out and wiped it with the back of her sleeve, frowning apologetically.
"That's gross, I'm sorry." She mumbled, hurriedly wiping the last of her blood from my cheek. I reached up and took her hand. I could feel my eyes filling with tears, but I ignored them, fighting to work up the courage to ask her one last question. "What is it, kiddo?" she asked before I could say anything. She saw the distress on my face and she looked worried now.
"Am I—" I stopped, letting go of her hand and taking a step back. "Am I dangerous?"
"What? No. Wait, is this because of what that son of a...um...wombat...said?" she demanded. I didn't know what a wombat was, but I think I understood the question anyway. She was talking about James. Lisa always used that voice when she was talking about James.
I nodded.
"Roy, you saved me. Don't you think that saving people is kind of the opposite of dangerous?" she asked. She crossed her arms when I shrugged, which made me nervous. "There are so many bad people in this world. I've met quite of few of them, so I know what I'm talking about when I say that you are not one of them. You're not dangerous, Roy."
I nodded again. "Okay," I said.
"You might be a heartbreaker though," she added.
I shook my head vehemently. "I'm not going to break anything, I promise."
She laughed again, although I wasn't sure why. "Come on cutie. There's a beautiful girl waiting for her question." She patted my arm and then stepped passed me, walking toward Lisa.
Confused, I followed her without a word, kicking sand behind me with my bare feet as I hurried to catch up to her. When we reached Lisa, Pamela stopped and leaned in to whisper something in her ear. I wasn't close enough to hear what she said, and I wouldn't have listened anyway. Whatever she said wasn't for me to hear.
"Alright kids. I'm gonna be over there. Stay where mommy can see you." Pamela smiled encouragingly at me, holding up her thumbs.
"Okay," I blinked.
"She's just kidding, Roy." Lisa mumbled. I looked over at her and caught her smiling softly at me. I returned her smile with one of my own, relieved to see that she wasn't crying anymore.
"She wants to be my mother," I blurted, stepping closer to Lisa out of habit. "She says we can keep you too." I told her quickly, so she wouldn't worry.
"Oh really?" Lisa laughed.
"Yes," I nodded, still smiling as I glanced over my shoulder at Pamela. She was sitting in the sand not too far away. She waved at me. I waved back. "I want her to keep me. I mean I want her to keep you too. I want us to stay together. I-if you want to," I stopped talking to take a slow breath, confused by my sudden nervousness.
But then Lisa reached over and took my hand, and all of my anxiety quickly went away at her touch. "I do." She said, nodding. "Want you to keep me, I mean."
"Okay," I swallowed, glancing down at my feet.
"Is that your question?" she suddenly asked.
I looked up at her. "What?"
"Pam said you had a question. She said it was important. Like, a life-altering, mind blowingly important question. So, was that it?" she blinked.
I frowned, taking a second to glance at Pamela. She gave me another thumbs up. When I turned back to Lisa, she was no longer facing the water but had turned toward me. I felt her fingers slip between mine as she tangled our hands together. She was looking at me, and waiting.
I swallowed, hard. "W-why...why..." I swallowed again.
"Why what?" she raised one eyebrow and chuckled softly.
"Why...do you love me?"
Surprise crossed her features and her smile faded just a bit. "I wish that you didn't have to ask," she said quietly.
"I'm sorry," I responded quickly, lowering my gaze. "I won't ask you that again."
"No, it's just that if you have to ask, I must not be doing a very good job of showing you that I love you." She let out a small sigh.
"You do show me." I said quickly.
"How?" she asked doubtfully.
"When you do this," I lifted my arm, holding up our hands. She smiled and wiggled her fingers. "And when you do that," I reached out and brushed the corner of her mouth gently with the tip of my fingers.
"So...you know I love you because I hold your hand and smile at you?" she shook her head. "I really am a terrible person."
"I know that you love me because you told me you do. And you don't lie to me." I corrected her quietly.
"Oh." She blinked and bit at the inside of her cheek.
"But...I don't know why." I added carefully, still unsure if I should keep talking about this. I didn't want to upset her again. We had both been through a lot today.
Her brow furrowed. "You want me to tell you why I love you?"
"Yes." I nodded.
Lisa let out a small, nervous laugh. "Because you're the most incredible person I have ever known. That's why." she said.
"Have you...known a lot of people?" I asked uncertainly.
"You're the only one I ever want to know." She answered, rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb. "That's another reason."
I was about to say something when she moved closer, leaning against me with her head on my chest. Instead of talking, I tucked my chin against her tangled hair, grateful to have her so close after almost losing her.
"You're free, you know." She said suddenly, her hand loosening around mine.
"I...I am?"
"With James gone, you're free to do whatever you want. That project was over. No one will be looking for either of us, especially since all our records were in that building, and are now buried under a bunch of rubble. So, you're free. You don't have to stay with me." she explained. "And I don't have to stay with you."
A wave of panic made me instantly sick. "Don't you want to stay?" I asked her quickly.
"Not if you don't want to stay with me." she answered. "You're too good of a person, Roy. I won't take advantage of that. If you have changed your mind about loving me, I understand—"
"I haven't." I interrupted her.
"You haven't." Lisa repeated.
"Changed my mind." I added. "I haven't changed my mind."
She nodded, still leaning against my chest. "I haven't either."
"You haven't?"
"No Roy. I will never change my mind about loving you." She turned her head to look up at me. "Not even if you change your mind about loving me."
I shook my head, putting my arm around her waist and holding her closer. "No." I said. "I don't want to change my mind."
"There are a lot of things that you haven't seen." She noted. "And a lot of things you haven't done."
"...There is?" I lifted my chin from her head and pressed my cheek against her hair instead. I was so happy to be holding her that I didn't care about seeing or doing anything else. I just wanted to stand like this, with her hand in mine, until we got too cold. Right now, I felt very warm.
Lisa groaned. "You have no idea. There is so much out there. So many things for you to experience, for you to learn."
"You can teach me," I mumbled. "I'll pay attention. I promise."
"There are other girls too. Prettier ones. Nicer ones. Smarter ones." She pulled away from me, taking several steps back and letting go of my hand.
My arms felt empty without her. I was suddenly cold.
Lisa took three more steps back, until water was crashing over her shoes. "You might like someone else better than you like me. You might love them more." She told me.
I shook my head. "No I won't." I told her without hesitation.
"How do you know? You haven't met them. You can't know that, Roy. Not for sure." She said, crossing her arms. She was shivering, and her voice trembled. "I just don't want to keep you from someone better. It wouldn't be fair."
"Lisa," I stepped into the water and took back her hand, tangling our fingers together again. "I can't love anyone more than I love you." I told her. And I believed it. Without a doubt.
"How do you know?" she repeated, her brown eyes widening. I started to answer when she reached up and placed her hand over my mouth. "I know that look. You're about to say something utterly sweet and adorable that will restore my faith in your judgment."
I blinked, waiting for her to take her hand back. When she did, I pulled her back out of the freezing cold water and onto the sand where she wouldn't be so cold.
"Well." She mumbled. "Are you going to get all adorable now?"
I shrugged, unable to hide my smile. She thought I was adorable.
"Roy. I need you to really think about this. You have to take it seriously. It's your life, you know. It's finally your life. That means something." Her serious tone of voice made my smile fade. I nodded, showing her that I understood.
"I don't want anything without you, Lisa." I told her softly, shrugging. "I just want you."
"What if you change your mind?" she asked in a small voice.
I looked into her eyes so that she would know I was serious. "I won't."
"Roy—"
"I know I haven't met anyone else, but I don't have to meet other people to know that I just want you. I don't have to meet all the other mothers in the world to know that I want Pamela to be my mom," I mentioned, glancing back quickly and then looking at Lisa again.
"That's different." She mumbled. "Much different."
"I won't love anyone else more than I love you." I told her again, wishing she would believe me.
"You can't know that."
"I can."
"How?" she raised one eyebrow.
"Because—"
"Here it comes," she muttered.
"None of them are you." I finished.
Lisa nodded, rolling her eyes as she sank down onto the sand. "There it was. The thing that you say that makes me love you even more." She looked up at me and I saw a hint of a smile on her face. She was trying to hide it, but she couldn't.
I sat down beside her, hugging my knees into my chest again. I wanted to put my arm around her and pull her close, but I didn't think she wanted me to.
"I believe you," she said, scooting closer. "That you love me."
"You do?" I asked, feeling hopeful.
"Yes. I can't really doubt it. I've been inside your head. But I had to try...it was the right thing to do. I love you, but that means I have to let you go, if you want to go." She said, gazing at me with watery eyes.
I reached over and wiped the moisture from under her brown eyes, slowly placing my arm around her and pulling her against my chest where she would be warmer. We sat there for a few minutes before Pamela came to join us.
"I take it you answered the question." She said as she plopped down beside Lisa.
"I love him because he's the only him." Lisa responded. I smiled at her words, hugging her tighter.
"Aw, that's sweet. I called a cab. They should be here in a half an hour." Pamela mentioned, waving a small plastic device in front of our faces. "This is a cellphone." She told me. "You'll be getting one."
"A half an hour should be just enough time." Lisa said, snuggling closer to me as Pamela leaned against her.
We were huddled in the sand together. The three of us. Watching the water crashing onto the beach. I looked down at Lisa and saw her smiling at me. Just like in the picture that I had seen of her. Only this time, her smile reached her eyes.
"The clouds are moving out." Pamela noted.
"I know. That's what I'm waiting for," Lisa responded quietly.
I glanced down at her curiously. "What happens when the clouds move?" I asked.
Lisa reached up and brushed her fingers against my cheek. "You'll see." She whispered, hiding another smile.
______________________________________________________
I wanted him to see the stars. More than anything in the world, that is what I wanted for Roy in that moment. After everything we had been through, after everything we had seen, he deserved something beautiful.
Pam knew what I was doing. Lucky for me she didn't spoil the surprise. I think she wanted him to see just as badly as I did. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when the clouds finally disappeared enough for the first few stars to shine through.
It didn't take long, maybe ten minutes, and then all he had to do was look up.
____________________________________________________
"Look up, Roy." Lisa whispered, both her hands in mine. I did as she said, tilting my head back to look up. My mouth fell open as I smiled and stared at the tiny bright dots that filled the night sky. I had never seen anything like it before.
"What are they?" I asked, unable to take my eyes away from them.
"They're stars, Roy." Lisa answered.
My eyes widened. I had always wanted to see the stars. "They are so..." I couldn't find the words to finish.
"Beautiful." She finished for me. I merely nodded, still gazing upward at the vast expanse of sky and stars.
"How long can we look at them?" I asked.
"Until the cab gets here." Pamela answered. "But that gives you two plenty of time to cuddle."
I kept staring up at the sky until my eyes started to hurt and I realized that I had been forgetting to blink. I could feel Lisa watching me. Once every few minutes I would catch her smiling at me before she would press her face into my chest, hiding.
After a while, that started to worry me. Reaching over I placed my hand under her chin, gently encouraging her to look at me. "Lisa," I said her name quietly, because Pamela was starting to fall asleep on Lisa's arm.
"Yes, Roy?" Lisa bit her lip.
"Why won't you smile?" I asked her.
She paused. "I have been."
"You keep hiding it." I mumbled. "Did...did I do something to upset you—"
"No it's not that, I'm just not..." she shook her head and gave a small shrug. I held my breath, waiting for her to finish. "I'm just not used to wanting to smile so much."
I blinked. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"Smile, please?"
Lisa stared at me for a moment, and then laughed, unable to stop herself. "Since you asked so nicely." She giggled.
I smiled back at her, squeezing her hands.
"So what do you think of the stars, Roy?"
I glanced upward once again. "They make me happy. Like you." I told her honestly.
"You just can't help it, can you?" she snickered. I could tell my words had made her smile this time too.
"Can we see them again?" I asked, glancing down at her one more time.
"The stars?" she asked me.
I nodded
"Yes," she answered just as a rumbling sound behind us caught my attention. A small yellow car pulled onto the beach, their headlights lighting up the lengthy distance between us and the car. Lisa turned around to look at it. "The cab." She said, shaking Pamela awake.
"It's here?" Pamela mumbled. "Oh good. I'm so ready to go home. I need a shower. I'm covered in blood—my blood." She got up and started toward the cab, glancing back at us only once. I knew she was giving us another minute before it was really time to go.
And I was glad. Because I didn't want to go. Not yet.
"When can we see them again?" I asked.
"You get to see them every night, Roy." Lisa told me softly.
"With you?"
"Yes."
"Tomorrow?"
"Every night. Every single night, if you want." She leaned up and kissed my cheek.
"I want to." I said. She smiled.
"Me too."