time change!
2 months later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're not helping," I groan, and he sighs frustratingly.
"I'm trying! Isn't that enough?." He scoffs, getting the heating pad and placing it onto my stomach.
"No, i need a cold rag or something.. I'm dizzy!" I complain and he clicks his tongue.
"You should've said that!" He goes into the restroom and I close my eyes trying to regain my sudden mood change due to the pain in my stomach.
Suddenly i feel a rush of sadness cloud over me, and a tear drips down my face.
Cassius walks into the room and looks at me puzzled, yet blankly.
I can tell he's still annoyed from how we argued and i feel so guilty for how i was treating him not even a minute ago.
He's my fiancé and is only trying to help, yet i'm being so aggressive and mean..
"Why're you crying.." He runs a hand through his hair and leans on the bed.
"I'm sorry. I was yelling at you for no reason..." I shake my head as i felt myself contained again.
He breathes in deeply and nods, "It's okay, i don't blame you... I understand how much pain you're in, i know it's not easy."
"I'm trying to work on it," I close my eyes focusing on anything but the pain and I breathe in calmly.
"I know."
He looks around the room and puts his hands in his pockets.
"Come sit." I say scooting next to me, and he stares at me for a while until he gets up on the bed and sits up.
I place the rag on my forehead, and I feel his large hand on my shoulder squeezing it comfortingly.
"You only have about 5ish months left if that helps."
He reminds me and I half smile, "Eh, yes a bit."
"Can you believe it's been almost 2 years since we met?.."
He asks and many memories within us pop into my head, almost like a flashback.
The first time we met you were emotionless and those ice cold blue eyes, it captivated me to you. Somehow i knew what i was getting myself into.
"By the way, you're 3 minutes late." Mr. Dillinger remarks with a poker face and i look away.
"Yes i'm sorry, I was in traffic."
"I don't wanna waste time chatting, let's start. How old are you?" He examines my tense facial expression.
"I'm 22 years old, i'll turn 23 in 2 weeks." I say precisely and he nods writing something down.
"Why do you want to be my assistant." He blurts asking in a question form and i tilt my head.
"I want to be your assistant because...i'm quick with things and i can help you out with a lot of things. Work related." I remind and he tilts his head skittish.
"Look if you're here to joke then leave." he warns me and i roll my eyes out of habit.
"Sorry but... I didn't say anything in a joking matter." I correct him and he squints his eyes at me.
"I'm about business and you seem blinded by that concept.. you start on Friday. Be here at 6am. If you fail to complete your duties you will be fired immediately." He warns me once again and i nod agreeing.
"I'll work hard." I say and take in a deep breathe due to the tension.
"I'm expecting a lot, since you're my assistant. You can go now." I nod and smile softly to him, which results him dazing at me for what it feels like a minute. He quickly looks away and we part ways.
The ridiculous petty arguments, you were and still are a wild card to me. I'll never know what i'm gonna get, and it excites me.
"Keep it up." He warns me and i shut my mouth quickly.
"Sorry, sir." I apologize and he looks at me in the eyes, like lasers.
"Show me you're sorry by actually working for once." He says in a annoyed voice and i gasp silently.
"What?? I always work." I ask curiously and he shakes his head.
"Whatever." I watch him say as I stiffen up.
"No, i always work and do whatever." I state and he glares at me.
"Even if your job depended on it?" He asks confidently.
"Yes, I have enough respect for my job." I shake my head and he clicks his tongue.
"Mm, Indeed." He confesses sarcastically.
"You have a mistaken mind." He adds in and i turn to him.
"I do not." I argue back to him, biting my lip anxiously.
I hear his breath hitch and he turns away.
Perhaps the first time i disappointed you, I was so nosy but i wanted more of you and to know the real you.
"What were you doing just now?" He questions me, already knowing the answer.
"Nothing i was looking for the restroom." I make up quickly and he doesn't move an inch away from my face.
At this point our lips are almost touching and i feel nothing but a dark tension which is slowly captivating, taking over my body one by one.
"Don't lie to me. What'd you see?" he questions grabbing my hands and pushing me up against a wall, fully unable to move.
"I just finished work, and was looking for the restroom." I defend myself and Mr. Dillinger turns his head confused.
"Bullshit...I'll ask one more time. Did you go into my room..." He stares me down into my eyes and i look away nervously.
"Yes." I confirm and his eyes glare sharply at me.
"What interested you in going there." He orders an answer, and I look away.
"I just was curious." I hang my head and feel his body heat against me. Trapping me.
"Well curiosity killed the cat." He warns and let's me go, turning his back towards me walking to his room.
The first time I ever felt something towards you, a real feeling. A good one.
"Then let me know you." I stutter slightly and he stares into my eyes completely stunned.
He looks at me with a puzzled facial expression and I let out a sigh, finally understanding he wouldn't want to be with me in the first place.
"Why must you know me?" He asks me, walking towards my direction to the little couch which i've been sitting in for over the past hour.
"...I don't have to know you. But I want to." I shake my head as i mutter the last part and he gets closer to me, analyzing my face suspiciously.
"What makes you think i'm worth saving?." He asks, causing my heart to drop as he brings me closer to him, he leans down bringing his right arm towards my waist softly pulling me up.
"..You just are." I look down nervously, and he uses his finger to lift up my chin, he starts getting closer to my ear, "Watch what you say..." He says giving me chills down my spine, and i look away, as my heart is beating out of my chest nervously.
He turns away from my ear bringing his face in front of mine, his lips begin coming closer to mine and I gulp nervously. I feel his lips graze against mine for one second, fully onto mine for just one second which was enough to fully understand the spark that lit within us.
Or the time I officially opened up to you about my sisters passing.
"Although i see how close you and Jax are and it makes me upset knowing that i'll probably never be able to have that again." I look down upset and he tilts his head confused.
"What exactly do you mean by that?" He questions me suspiciously sitting down at his desk as I stand up in front of him.
"My sister passed away a year ago." I confess causing him to look away, uncomfortably.
"What exactly occurred? You don't have to explain if it brings back bad memories." He reminds me and i frown.
"She went missing. Until her body was found along with many other young women... at 20 years old" I confess causing him to look down.
"...I'm sorry for your loss." He says trying to be as tense and cold. It truly is bothering me now.
The hug I had needed from you for so long,
"Cassius. Please stop pretending to be someone you're not. You're not cold like you make me think. You're not heartless, you have a heart. You have feelings. Stop trying to hide them. Just because you're a man, and you think men can't show their soft side means nothing, you have dignity and that doesn't mean you can hide your feelings. That's not fair to you. You're a human being." I explain to him, in a upset tone as he remains quite.
"You're gonna hate me... but I'm here for you. It may not look like i can help. I'm petite, I'm a woman. You possibly think i don't have what it takes to help you. But i do. You're probably just gonna tell me to shut up, but i don't care because i'm here for you." I say in a low voice causing him to stare into me... It was a soft look, a gentle one.
"Shut up." He says looking away as I stare into his glossy eyes.
"No." I shake my head and his head slowly turns to me as he parts his lips.
"What did you just say." Cassius warns me and i release a sigh.
"I said no. You don't need to live like this." I blabber on and he gets up, "Tell me why you want to help me so bad." He reveals to me, and i look at him nervously.
"I just do." I shake my head and clicks his tongue.
"Tell me how you feel about me." He says staring into my eyes like lasers.
"I- Uh sir. No, I'm just tired of seeing you like this." I shake my head and he eyes me suspiciously.
"No."
"I just want you to show me the real you." I confess and he stares at me upset.
"What makes you think this isn't the real me." He questions me, pulling me back up facing him extremely close.
"When your mother passed, i know you weren't like this. You don't need to live unhappy.." I frown and he rolls his eyes in disbelief.
"You've got to be kidding me. Listen, i'm not gonna be living happy if my mother wasn't. I'm gonna find out the truth of what happened to her. When i do, then we'll talk." He shakes his head and i fidget in my hands.
I ball my fists, angrily and offended. "Do you think I lived in denial when my sister was missing for 6 months? You think I shut everyone out, and turned cold! I didn't smile anymore but i never once shut a person out that tried to help me.! Not once. You shouldn't have to pretend. You think your mother wants you to act cold like Axel.!" I scold him almost like his own mother would, and he looks at me stunned and in disbelief.
"...." Not a single word came out from his mouth, and I felt warmth running down my cheeks.
I was crying, but i wasn't sad. I was crying because i felt his pain, the pain he's been living in. He has a heart, he doesn't want to show anyone. He thinks having a 'cold and tense' persona is what he needs to do but it's not the case.
I wish i could hug him, and tell him everything's gonna be okay but at this point. He wouldn't even look at me.
"..." Still silence and it's been over a minute and a half.
"Sorry, sir. I should've kept my mo-" I apologize and he cuts me off, closing the gap between us.
"Stop apologizing for ridiculous things." He says and I look down at his lips.
"You're right, sir. I'm not sorry." I shake my head and the warmth between us is extremely comforting.
"What happened about you wanting me to keep my distance from you?" I ask curiously due to his body heat on me and he shakes his head.
"Forget about that." He explains and i stare at him stunned.
"Tell me how you feel about me." Cassius pesters and i shake my head.
"No, you're gonna hate me." I frown looking down and he clicks his tongue.
"I don't like people that fidget. Tell me." He bugs and I release a sigh.
"I... want to help you." I feel tears well up into my eyes and he looks at me concerned.
I suddenly feel a pair of arms being wrapped around me pulling me into his chest. I stand there stunned unable to move and unable to comprehend if I am truly awake during this moment.
"Be quite." He shushes me and i blink excessively,
The first kiss, the way your lips were drawn onto mine. There was no resisting with you.
"Prove it." He says in a disbelieved voice.
"Prove what?" I ask and he rolls his eyes.
"That you care about me." Mr Dillinger reveals to me and my heart begins to pound as I shuffle my hands nervously.
"How do i do that?" I ask dumbfounded and he shrugs, "Don't ask me."
"Do you trust me?" I question stepping closer to him and he scans me suspiciously.
"If i didn't trust you, you wouldn't be my assistant." He remarks and i frown.
"Yes or no." I plead slightly in a mumble causing him to release a sigh
"Yes."
"What i'm about to do could possibly make you hate me. For real this time." I shake my head, reminiscing the thought.
"Oh please." He says not believing me, and I step a bit closer to him.
His breath hitches as I step on my tippy toes, as he flinches slightly before I plant a soft kiss on his cheek.
I pull away nervously, as my body shakes due to my anxiety and not to mention my feelings i have towards him.
"...What was that?" He asks trying to sound as cold and I shrug unknowingly.
"Cassius, I'm really confused at this point. But i need you to do something so i can see if it's true or not..." I blurt out and he looks into my eyes.
"...What is it?" He says quietly and i breathe in,
"...Kiss me." I plead quietly as well and he widens his eyes.
"What?...." There was silence until a minute passed and he scanned my serious facial expression.
"Please. It's never gonna make sense to me."
He sighed and pulled me by the waist, and soon enough his lips collided against mine. It was passionate, but i felt sparks.
The time we made it official.
"i want to ask a question. extremely important." i reveal to her causing her to look serious, yet impatiently.
"go for it."
"be mine. be my girlfriend. shall i reword that? i'm new to this. that made me sound too eager. i mean be with me. also made me sound very desperate. i will restart...please, will you be my girlfriend?" i confess, unable to stop myself.
i widen my eyes throwing a hand over my mouth, "Evelyn, what the hell have you done to me. i have never spoken such words to anyone like this. i've never been like this with any woman, even to ask someone this. you've changed me somehow, when i'm near you i'm a different person. i have a soft side towards you and only you."
The heartbreak.
"...I can't keep lying to you. Can I confess something..." I trail off nervously, taking a deep breath.
He looks up from his computer, and turns in his chair, nodding suspiciously.
"Oh wait i'm sorry. Did you want to go first?"
He shakes his head, "No, just go."
"Okay..I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. It's hard to keep up with this all. I'm not as work driven like you are. I can't keep up it's so hard... I'm falling in love with you, I truly love you. But even at work it sucks knowing we can't tell people we're dating because you care about your reputation, or that you're scared what people are gonna say. I'm scared about us because you're not gonna have enough time for this. Us..."
Immediately after i said those words i didn't regret one bit, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But the look on his face did not satisfy me one bit.
I suddenly forgot what we had, with his cold glare.
"..."
"...Say something...please." I say nervously, and he looks down and back up at me.
"Something."
My heart is in different pieces, i don't know what to do and meanwhile he looks the same.
I thought everything was going good.
"This is what i was going to tell you.." He says, "I shouldn't have rushed into this. I have to end this for each other's sake." He says and my heart skips, and not in the good way.
"...Why."
I shake my head unable to function and comprehend what he's saying. He was okay last week, he was okay today. How can things change so quickly. There's something going on, and i don't want to know or understand why he's doing it.
"Us together would never end good. I apologize for wasting your time, and in fact for work matters and professionalism i'm going to transfer you to the office section. You'll have a cubicle and will no longer be my assistant." He explains calmly, looking into my eyes.
My breath is shaking and I somehow mumble out a few words.
"...Why is this so easy for you."
"It's not, you don't know a word you're saying." he looks away, not making eye contact.
"..Please tell me i'm not as forgettable as your silence is making me feel." My voice cracks through a tear that's fighting the urge to roll down my face.
He stays silent, completely frozen with no expression. I thought for a second a tear dropped down his cheek, but that was most likely my imagination.
"Fine, you can ignore me all you want, we can try to pretend the other person doesn't exist, but deep down. We both know it wasn't supposed to end like this." I finish my sentence without a tear although i'm holding it in.
I walk out of the office, calm and professional. Until i'm out of the building. The tears then begin to flow and I feel like a child
You saved me,
I hear a car pull up, my vision starts to get blurry. I flinch carelessly, "Evelyn! Who the hell did this!"
I hear that familiar voice, and i can't help but cry.
"Cassius!" I cry out, i drop my phone and run into arms.
somehow, i can see just a blur and sliver but i knew it was him.
"I'm so sorry." He apologizes and i shake my head, "A-axel." Was the only word i was able to say.
He looks down at me quickly, "He did this to you!"
I nod crying, and frightened.
Cassius lets go and is about to run inside the house until i grab him.
"N-no! Please don't leave me." I cry and he grabs me into a tight, but comforting hug.
"I'm here, Evelyn."
~~~~~
~~~~~
I've gotten so lucky to have these memories with only him because i know i wouldn't have it any way with someone else, he's my world.
"Cass, i love you. I wouldn't have this any other way." I remind to him,
"Me as well. I love you.."