While travelling I stumbled upon a small village in the East, next to a deep DEEP forest. A forest very old, ancient even, famous for various unique species of both flora and fauna.
Throughout my self-studies of shamanry, I'd found several mentios of this forest and its supposed close connection to Spirits, though in literature that wasn't related to shamans, you could read about these "spirits" in this very forest as of the "undead" protecting the woodland.
I was primarily interested in investigating these mentions because of my own theories about the connection between a soul of a living being when it dies and the Spirits.
My curiosity got the better of me and so I ventured forth, into the deep woods, despite the villagers' warnings that this year, there had been 7 strange disappearences of young men in the forest.
That day I got very absorbed in interacting with the wild life and exploring the peculiar parts of the subtropical ecosystem and its high rocks and natural rocky towns. The terrain wasn't easy but I didn't have troubles for the most part until I found myself up on a steep rock with a very narrow path ahead. It was definitely a mistake to risk it but the path looked safe enough.
Nevertheless, it wasn't.
I'm not sure EXACTLY what happened but I slipped on a sand rock and fell down, hitting every bone in my body at least twice while heading for my ultimate doom.
I hit the bottom of a pit and felt a gross and squishy feeling underneath me... I couldn't move much but yes... I was able to identify maybe 4 dead bodies around me, the upmost one still very fresh, stinky and horrifying... I cried out and passed out almost immediately. I'm not sure if from the pain of my broken bones or the shock of actual dead bodies saving my life and bits of those now covering all of my clothes and skin...
...........................................
In a state of utter confusion I woke up in a bed I didn't recognize, my upper body patched up in bandages, my left arm elevated and hanged on a bandage with two sticks attached to my forearm, my other extremities felt a bit foreign but to my surprise, I wasn't in pain.
I sat up slightly and looked around myself. It was a small, cosy looking room with a big window on my right side, but the view was mostly blocked by huge old trees outside the house. According to the amount of light, it was either a later afternoon or morning but the shades were rather warm and so I was inclined to believe it was the last of the afternoon light.
I looked around the interior of the room. The house itself was probably big, this was a second or third floor afterall, and by no means was this a wooden house so I would guess a mansion but in the middle of the forest...? I've never heard of anyone living in these parts... aside from the village. The room itself was small but well stocked on bookshelves with tons of books in various languages. It was too tiny for a guest room, but too fancy for a room of a mere servant. So maybe a book-worm butler lives here...?
I reached towards the bedside table and looked inside with curiosity. There was nothing, no personal belongings. So maybe no one lives in this room now? I spotted my clothes on a chair next to my bed. They were tattered but clean and next to them, there was also a fresh change of clothes I didn't recognize but guessed, I was supposed to wear these.
Changing into the clothes took me about half an hour with my left arm disabled and I also noticed huge bruises all along my body, a leftover from the fall. It was a miracle, my legs seemed to have survived the fall without a fracture.
After a short rest when I finished changing (it took out almost all of my energy), I decided to go find out what was going on. And also to find the rest of my belongings, namely my research notes, drawings of peculiar wild-life species and fauna I didn't know, 2 books about this forest and 1 trashy romance novel about a wizzard and a dragon hunteress, and all the other stuff I took with me on the road, including Arind's stone without which I was quite powerless, since it served as my totem for calling out my Spirit Bear.
The house was huge. There were three floors and a ladder to the attic. Most of the rooms on the third floor were bedrooms. The left wing, where my room was situated at, seemed to have been a servants' quarters but completely uninhabited, right wing had three major bedrooms and only one of them seemed to have had an owner but the owner himself was nowhere in sight, yet.
The second floor and first floor wings where full of necessary rooms like a kitchen, a bath, store rooms, a study, a dining room... But the main part of the house... There was a library. A library even bigger than the one in the Academy and the librarians there always prided themselves in the fact that theirs' was the third biggest library in the kingdom. With a circle structure of the whole thing, it stretched throughout all the three floors, connected by wooden circular stairs on four sides, richly engraved with heads, tails and paws of mythical creatures and gods.
I headed towards the nearest section, at once. "Philosophy". I looked through the titles and could see that they were books in all sorts of languages, some of the books I'd managed to recognize, I'd only ever heard of, due to them being extremely rare. I browsed through the various sections and finally, I found myself in front of the section "Spiritual Beings". Second floor on the Western side. I pulled out a few of the books and sat to a nearby table.
I'm not sure how much time had passed, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and at last, there stood the person who saved my life. I wanted to get up to greet him but he made me sit down again and instead, took another chair and sat next to me. It was an old man in his late 60s maybe, with a huge built and muscles that still seemed strong. His face was hidden by a thick but short beard for the most part, his eyes looked fierce, at first, but at second glance you could see a bit of kindness somewhere deep inside.
His clothes were simple but neat, in the same style as the ones I was wearing just then.
"I... I'm sorry, I took your books without permision. I didn't see you anywhere around, sir, and this library just looked so tempting..."
The man smiled a little at me and spoke in a deep hoarse voice: "How are you feeling, little traveller?"
"Well... Actually... pretty good. Nothing hurts. How did you do that?"
He pointed towards a section called "Health and Medicine".
At the moment, I thought that books are simply amazing.
Then he looked at me again. "So what is a youngling like you doing, wandering around such a dangerous forest. Besides you're clearly not from around here. Did you get lost all the way from the Fey Wild...?"
I laughed slightly and felt my upper body disagree with the sudden shaky movement. "Ugh...! Oh... No, you see... I am 18 years old and I am Eladrin only from my mother's side, so I'm actually an adult already. And I've never been to Fey Wild, really. I was born and raised in Narradian lands."
"I see," the man nodded, "you are quite far from your homeland then. But we should introduce ourselves. I am the Master of this place. And this place is "N'Attallon". A forgotten library in the middle of the woods."
The introduction of himself seemed rather vague but I didn't intend to pry as I wasn't going to reveal my origins that easily as well. "I am Damian, a shaman in training."
"A shaman! I can see why you took the interest in this wildreness. Yes, yes... the nature around is rather spectacular, I guess. It is nothing new to me anymore but I do remember when I came here for the first time, I was astonished."
"Tell me, Master... Why is there a "library in the middle of the woods"? I saw here some ancient books, very rare and full of wisdom... shouldn't more people have access to jewels like these...?"
Old man's brows furrowed slightly and his answer came with a short pause. "Most people have no desire to take interest in reading these. Besides...!" He got up and walked towards one of the shelves, eyes searching through the titles randomly. "Lots of these books were saved from being burnt by ignorant fools. There might be only these exemplars left, so why risk these artworks being destroyed and forgotten forever? This is a private collection, it was never meant to be shown to public."
He went silent after that and I searched for a different topic. "The people... the people in the village didn't mention this place. Are we close to the village?"
"Hmm... We are maybe a day's distance from the village and the village is the closest settlement to here. Not even the elvish folk come that deep into the woods."
"But then..." The information surprised me, I was sure I didn't wander that far away and... How the heck could anyone build such mansion when there is no way they could bring the materials here...
Master turned to me again. "Do you feel well enough to have a dinner with me or would you rather go upstairs and rest?"
"I... I think I will go rest. Ouch... I am finally starting to feel the injuries." I got up and started to limp towards my room.
Seeing my struggles with the stairs, the old man swiftly picked me up and got me safely to my room again, leaving again to prepare some more of the herbal analgetic medicine for me.
...........................................
The old man's routine was an odd one. I've never seen him during the day, he always went to find me in the evening, we would dine together and talk about what I'd read in the library and my new findings for my research. The dinner mostly consisted of all kinds of meat and sometimes fruit as a side-dish. Master would usually comment on how I should eat more meat because I'm no good and should gain more muscle and fat.
This everyday thing kind of messed up my own routine and since I ended up going to sleep mostly at around 4 AM, I tended to wake up at noon when the breakfast was usually already prepared on the table in the library where I studied.
I found it strange but he said he needs to take care of things in the forest and usually he came back home with freshly haunted animals.
It's not like I wasn't a tiny bit suspicious about the whole situation but... I certainly couldn't leave in the state I was in and he did save me and so far I was still alive. Besides it looked like Master enjoyed my company and he himself served as a good source of material for my work.
When I was well enough to take a walk outside, I felt happy. You see, it was fun studying in the library but not being able to feel the presence of the Spirits all around me was... suffocating. It was the 8th day of my reconvalescence and I didn't need the herbal medicine as much as before anymore and most of the smaller bruises had subsided already.
Standing a few feet in front of the house, I closed my eyes and felt the fresh breeze and the slightly humid air against my skin, letting my conciousness gently drift around with the forest's Spirits. They were there, gently playing with my hair, barely touching the bandages on my left arm that was hanged around my neck. "I'm fine, don't worry..." I mumbled and smiled. "You watched over me again, thank you."
Then I took out Arind's stone that I got back the other day and called out my bear. It was nice to see him after such a long time and I could tell he was glad to see me as well.
"Hmm... What's there...?" I spotted an ugly looking shed in front of the house, next to a huge apple tree. I walked towards it and looked inside, the door was, however, barricaded with something from the inside and I didn't have the strenght to open it. Instead, I decided to take a peek. I got close to one of the cracks in the walls and I could already tell by the smell. I put a hand over my nose and mouth and looked inside. Yep, this is where he prepares the meat for cooking but does he HAVE TO make such a mess?! The innards where everywhere and I could tell, there were parts of the meat rotting somewhere. Maybe under the huge and heavy looking table or maybe it was the blood dripping down from the various scary looking instruments. I quickly turned away from the shed, trying to catch a breath and not puke. As I did so, I noticed something shiny in the grass. It was an earring with a symbol that looked rather familiar to me. I wanted to remember where have I seen it but my arm started to hurt again and I had to go back to my room and take the medicine. It always made me sleepy, so I took a nap right after.
When I woke up, it was already night. I went down to the dining room. Master was waiting for me with a load of meat-only dinner. I said hello and sat down to the long table, on the opposite side from him, staring at the plate, remembering what I'd seen that day and not at all feeling like eating meat.
"What's the matter?" the old man asked, hungrily gulping down his portion.
"I don't feel well today... I don't think I can eat anything heavy." I tried to talk my way out of it.
"This isn't heavy," he said and plopped some kind of a roasted bird on my plate.
I nodded and took a fork. I didn't feel like eating it, so instead I decided to nib at it a few times and play with it on my table while I diverted the old man's mind to a different topic. "I remember you menioned that you also aren't from around here... Where are you from?"
"Hmm... I don't really remember... Tell me about you. Are Eladrins different from Elves?" He finished his first portion and reached for the hoarde of meat I'd previously declined.
"In what way?" I asked.
"Hmm... like physically."
"I guess... not really. There are SOME differences but mostly in hair colour, eye colour... Don't take me as an example, I'm too short for an Eladrin and there are even great warriors in Fey Wild, they aren't all skinny book-worms like me," I laughed. "But there might be biologic differences. Eladrins live longer, I think."
"So maybe their organ structure is different?"
"Well... I think they have the same organs as everyone..." I looked at him questioningly but he was too preocupied with his dinner. "So... Uhm... I was thinking... When was the last time you ever spoke to another person? Before I came."
Master stopped eating and thought about it for a moment. "I'm not sure... A few years definitely. Time flies by quickly around here. Why are you interested?" He looked at me.
"I was just thinking that I would go crazy if I was somewhere alone without a chance of talking to anyone." And then it hit me. Yes, I WOULD go crazy. And the symbol was what all the Elves in the village were wearing...! Seven went missing and there were three or four bodies where I fell and only one of them was fresh!
The old man started laughing. "Do I seem crazy to you?"
...........................................
"I'm telling you, Damian, forget about it. Profesor's never going to let you write about it."
My roommate walked briskly through the halls of Narradia's Academia of Magic and I was trying to keep up with him.
"It's not a bad theme, Amarius. I think I can defend it and if I reason with him..."
Amarius stopped walking and looked at me in disbelief. "Are you insane? When was the last time he banished you from his lecture? Wait... Was it yesterday? He. Doesn't. Believe. In. Spirits. Or whatever you call it."
I got a bit defensive at that statement. "They are real. There's lots of books about them and..."
"Yes! YOU can feel their presence! YOU were definitely saved by them when you were little. C'mon! He's gonna have your head checked. Do you know how it sounds?"
"But I..."
"DO YOU?!"
"Of course, I know! But... I have to try..."
Amarius sighed. "Look, it's not like I don't believe you, okay?" He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes from up close. "But the professor is a.... very conservative person. And hella religious. He already thinks all this talk is heresy and be it not for your mother who he respects as a legendary Soreceress and your father who pays loads of money for your tuition, he would see you expelled a long time ago. You know that, right?"
"Yes, I know." I nodded. "But what's up with Richmond's "Flamability of Nonflamable Objects"? That's okay and mine isn't?"
Amarius laughed. "I know, right? "Flamability." Is that even a word? I saw him in the labs the other day, the crazy bastard just wants to blow stuff up. He's a psychopath. People like him really shouldn't be allowed to learn magic." His face got serious again. "Damian, I know how important this is for you and that you mean well. In my eyes, you are brave but in the eyes of all the others..."
I looked at the stone floor. "I know... You don't have to say it. I'm a traumatized child who is denying the death of close people. But this isn't about raising the dead! I'm no necromancer! I hate that kind of magic as everyone else does. I... I don't know how Spirits come to be, I don't know if they are the souls of the dead or what is their true origin... but I want to find out. If there is even a one in a million chance..."
"If there is even a one in a million chance... then what?" With a tap on my chin, Amarius made me look up at him again.
"Then I will show them all I was right," I sticked out my tongue. "What, did you really think I will say I will try to bring my brother back? That I hope that my mom will come back to me that way? That I will wash away the guilt I feel because..."
"Stop it, Damian. I didn't mean to say any of that." He looked angry.
"Sorry," I sighed.
"So! Let's go through it again! What does the professor think about Shamans?"
"They are "farmers who'd learnt a few rituals and went to climb the trees"," I cited what I'd heard a thousand times by now.
Amarius smiled, "what about the spirit animal-thing?"
"Spirit Companion," I corrected him, "yes, that's just "a bit of Illusion magic mixed in with some Psionic power"."
"Great! Now are the Shamans frauds then?"
"No, they aren't because "those poor souls believe they are speaking with Spirits while they hole themselves up in tents filled with vaporized drugs.""
"And what you will NOT mention under any circumstance?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Jeez... That gods might just be a different form of Spirits..."
Amarius threw his hands up in satisfaction. "You're ready. Now. Will you promise me, you won't cry?"
"Cry? I don't cry," I looked elsewhere.
"Yeah, you do. Every night after getting sacked by the professor you cry your eyes out under the blanket," he smirked.
I rolled my eyes. "I will never admit to such an outrageous lie."
...........................................
Thinking back on it, I'm not sure how I could prioritize my research over my own life but there were several books in the library that held important answers to several of my questions and so I've continued my stay in the strange mansion, against my better judgement. Not that I was allowed to leave. Since that dinner, even throughout the day, all the doors and windows leading to freedom were kept shut and locked.
I tried not to eat most of the things handed to me. What I didn't realize was that the poison was in the drinks, slowly making me weaker and more submissive. By the third day on this drug I fell into a trans-like state, unable to move from my bed...
From then on, my days were filled with disturbing dreams of fuzzy colours and distorted space. I remember only a few of the clearer ones. In one of them, I was being fed a camel with a human head. In a different one, I tried to outrun a faceless pursuer but my whole body was heavy and could move only very slowly. When I tried to cry out for help, no sound would come out of my mouth.
"...mian... Damian...! Wake up! Damian, wake up!"
I suddenly woke up and my head felt clear. It was probably an early afternoon and I was lying in bed in the small room that had been asigned to me in the beggining, I wasn't bound or anything and the window was opened. There was just me in the room.
I have to get away! was the only thing on my mind. But my things were nowhere in sight... But wouldn't it be more logical to just save my own life first? Though without Arind's stone, I was practically powerless, since I couldn't use any shamanic magic without a totem. And well... I couldn't say I COULD actually do any kind of Shaman magic aside from calling my Spirit Companion at the time.
After taking a peek outside the window, I could see there was no way for me to get down from the third floor unscathed.
I tried the door only to found it was unlocked.
Spirits are on my side today... I thought to myself and opened it slightly.
I couldn't see anyone in the hallway, so I proceeded, trying to be as quiet as possible, leaning on the walls for support because my legs felt weak after not being used for I-don't-know-how-long.
My things will be probably in his room somewhere. I definitely need shoes, I wouldn't get far in the forest bare-footed, I need the stone and my research. I was determined not to leave without my research, since I've suffered so much because of it. This better not be for nothing. I either die or present this in the Academy, there was no other way.
Strangely enough, I didn't feel fear, I felt anger and determination, I was pissed off. How dare he? I'm no pig to be fed and then butchered, just so he could taste Eladrins' innards. I doubted I would taste good in the first place... Besides, who goes through so much trouble, just to have one dinner? Or maybe he was planning to make me into dried or frozen snacks. Crazy bastard!
I was just in the middle of crossing through the library when I heard footsteps, heavy and swift that were heading through the lower levels towards the left wing. I sped up my pace while trying to blend in with the ebony colour of Ghosts & Time Travel shelves, dressed in white pyjamas and my natural paleness.
My hiding skills aren't nowhere near excellent but I stayed still and out of sight.
I need to hurry up, I thought and as quietly as possible, I ran to the right wing and into Master's bedroom where I'd hoped to find my belongings.
However, just as I reached the doorstep, I heard Master stomping through the library on the 3rd floor. Then the footsteps stopped and he called out, his voice resonating throughout the whole mansion.
"My little piglet is on the run?! I don't mind! I was getting bored anyway! And it's much tastier after a bit of exercize. Hmm... But don't get too stressed, okay? The meat becomes a bit bitter when the animal dies while stressed!" He started laughing but I failed to understand what's funny while holding both hands over my mouth, trying not to breathe too loudly, ideally not to breathe at all. Which was about to be granted to me anyway if I were to get caught.
I quietly slipped into his room. Almost immediately, I spotted my things on Master's desk and hurriedly started to put my clothes and boots on, grabbed my bag and only checked for Arind's stone inside. Soundlessly, I exited again, listening for any kind of movement. I didn't hear anything.
Somewhat this situation seemed far worse than hearing something. With no idea where Master is currently located, I tiptoed towards the big staircase, connecting the rooms of the right wing. Step by step... Meter by meter...
Then suddenly, I heard a sound in the floor above and I knew, Master was heading to the 2nd floor. He probably figured out what I'd do first.
I moved to the library and stopped in front of one its many spiral stairs there. I just touched the handle with many metal ornaments, when my eyes wandered to the bookshelves. If I leave now, I'll never be able to read these books again... My bag was light, I could fit one or two in there...
No, Damian, don't waste the tiny bit of time you have! You need to leave! NOW!!!
I hesitated and bit my lip. I knew there were a few books I might never see again in any of the libraries on this continent. I took a few steps back and quickly went to get the books.
Should I take 3 small or 2 normal? A big one would hinder me while running... But maybe I could risk one more...?
A chill ran down my spine.
"Damie... Damie... I knew, I would find you here... Such a diligent student you are!"
I turned around and there he was, about 10 meters away from me with a wide madman smile plastered across his face.
I was the first one to move. Standing close to one of the spiral stairs, I jumped forward and started running, skipping the stairs, as fast as I could.
As soon as my feet touched the ground floor, I heard a heavy landing behind me. I went for the door immediately but it was locked.
"Pig's feet clacking,
on the marble floor...
Lil's Damian is lacking,
poor and alone...!"
I turned to face him, clutching Arind's stone in my hand.
"I didn't think you'll be able to wake up by yourself, not to mention run around so much... You healed up nicely, Damian. Your wrists aren't so thin anymore either, we're on the right way..."
"You're mad..." an obvious and pointless statement from my part.
"And where do you want to go? You told me yourself, you have no home now... There is nothing and no one for you... You could as well stay... It will be... a delicious experience..." he made a motion towards me.
"Stay away!" I yelled and called upon my Spirit Companion.
A huge white bear filled up the space between me and Master, which caught him visibly off guard.
"Now, now, Damian... I told you not to stress yourself so much..."
It sounds strange but I wasn't afraid at that moment, I was... angry, truly angry, it was the only thing on my mind... the anger, wrath...
...........................................
You see, my ability to control the Bear myself was near non-existent before I actually underwent Shamman training at the Ice Lands several months later. My acquiring a Spirit Companion without the initiation ritual was already like a miracle. Becomming a proper Shamman out of thin air with just a bit of basic knowledge from books is just not possible.
Like this, the communication between me and the Bear was highly unstable, depending solely on the Bear's ability to read my emotions.
...........................................
However, at that moment, we both felt what the other could, me and the Bear became one, one with anger and rage. I cried out and the Bear roared, his mighty voice echoing through the very core of the house, forcing Master to sit down with fear in his eyes. The Bear headed towars him and striked with its huge paw, destroying the staircase behind Master in one swift motion.
Meanwhile I tried to push into the doors but they didn't budge an inch.
The Bear turned to me and seeing my struggle he striked again and again until the wings of the door swung open.
I wanted to ran out but as soon as I stepped out, something caught my foot and I fell flat down on my face. "Let me go! You scum! You bastard! Murderer!" I let out all the faul words in all languages I could remember while kicking at Master who'd been holding my ankle. The Bear striked again, leaving long bloody marks from its claws at Master's back. Master yelled, straightening his back in pain.
As soon as he released my foot, I got up and started running towards the forest. Towards freedom.