CHAPTER FIFTY FOUR- Detached memories.
Ashley Dawson:
I closed my eyes as I carefully sat down on the wooden stall. The smooth surface was cool against my bare skin as it stuck to it in distant fashion. I curled my fingers around the edge and pressed them tight underneath – just savouring the feel of it – it wasn’t anything special. It was just a stall, but somehow it felt almost as if I was going to miss it. Going to miss sitting on it in front of the mirror as I made alterations to my appearance. It wasn’t the fact that it gained frequent use from me, or the fact that even though it was so irrelevant it was also so useful. It was the fact that it was original. It wasn’t even mine. It had been there from the start. Before they sent in the expensive interior designers, before they smashed down the original wall of the bathroom to put the wardrobe in and before they even completed the swanky features of the kitchen. It was original. And it had been there from the beginning, and no matter how many changes had taken place, how much it had been moved, bruised, battered, broken, it still stayed exactly where it was.
I opened my eyes again and the bright light slapped against them. I lifted my gaze to the mirror and stared back at myself flatly. This was going to be the last time I looked in this mirror, at least I thought so, and maybe I hoped so too. As far as I was concerned, I had served my time here. I rolled my gaze across the bathroom and observed the light glinting off of the tiles and now as I moved it to the window a spectrum of light faced me. I slowly slid off the stall and rested my elbows on the window sill as I pushed the window open as far as it would go. It was like one of those movies, the sun was setting as it reflected off the glass of all the buildings of the city, throwing beams of light across the whole city, glinting in mirrors, capturing visions, blinding people for a few minutes. Suddenly I found myself digging through the various boxes piled up in my bedroom and lifted my camera from it’s box, the spare lenses falling out onto the floor as it did so. But I’d captured a moment like this before and knew it only lasted a few minutes, ten at the most. And I’d been so lost in thought who knows how long it had been in this beautiful state. The colours of wispy oranges, reds, and purples merging into each other and slipping in between the clouds, blinding if you were in the right place. I situated my fingers around the buttons and brought it to my face adjusting with the lens, saturation and zoom a fraction and then I pressed the shutter a few times and listened.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Image captured. I smiled and stumbled a bit as I turned around to see Niall stood in the doorway leant against it with his hands in his pockets smiling. For a moment I just looked at him my mouth slightly agape but he just continued to smile at me.
“H-How long have you been stood there?”
I stammered as I dropped my camera around my neck letting it fall to my stomach as I ran my fingers through my hair pushing it from my face but it just fell back so I tucked it behind my ears. He shrugged and then pushed himself up from the doorframe but he continued to stand in the doorway giving me that no teeth smile.
“Thirty seconds? Long enough to watch you take about a million pictures of the same thing.”
“I took five.”
I replied flatly and he smirked chuckling lightly he sauntered towards me brushing my bangs from my eyes and smiling down at me.
“I know,” He shrugged. “Let me have a go?”
For a moment and just looked at him and his smile, I shrugged snapping out of my daze that the beauty of the sunset had spun me into. I carefully lifted my camera from my neck and passed it to him the feel of the black plastic escaping my skin. I felt wary to pass it into someone else’s possession; I suppose I’ve always kind of almost been emotionally attached to it.
“Twist this to change the zoom,” I told him as he fumbled with buttons a few times almost hitting the power off button before I told him. “And then that one to take it…There you go.”
I smiled and then rested my hands on his shoulder as I stood on my tiptoes watching him over his shoulder as he snapped the shutter a few times and then leant forward and snapped it a few more times. He grinned as he passed it back to me and I wrapped the strap around it and held in my right hand and then leaned up letting him press his lips against mine. I smiled as we pulled away and I spun on my heel retreating back to my bedroom which was sporting a few boxes that had been left. Everything was all boxed up by the door – ready to go, but only half was coming with me – although I knew that a lot of things kind of had to come with me from here back to London I really wanted to leave this life behind. It wasn’t who I wanted to be, I didn’t want to be Ashley Dawson the New York Fashion Icon Working For ColorfulSecrets&Co. I wanted to be Ashley, the photography obsessed, sister of Ellie Dawson, and girlfriend of Niall Horan. The facts were that I didn’t want to be someone big, someone famous, someone rich and maybe in London, now, re-building my life wasn’t the only thing I wanted to do. I wanted to create a new image too; I didn’t want to be a former New Yorker with a rich Daddy and a just as rich boyfriend. I just wanted to be a normal girl, who things turned out well for, and whom, when she broke, took her time about it but in the end, she fixed herself. That was who I wanted to be. But time would tell at whether I would achieve that or not.
“So are you almost ready?”
Niall inquired and I felt him squat down onto the plush carpet beside me as he slid his arms over my shoulders. He gently clasped his fingers around my hair moving it to my other shoulder and pressed his lips against my neck. I smiled as he did so the feel of his lips against my skin warm and almost intimate. I folded the two cardboard flaps over each other but the urge got the better of me and I abandoned the box open on the floor behind me as I carefully spun around and he instantly transferred his lips from my neck onto mine pulling me further onto his lap.
“No,” I whispered against his mouth his lips still grazing over mine in small and light motions. “Not anymore.”
He grinned obviously happy with my response and led back on the floor situating my body on top of his I slipped my fingers in between his. And then I leant down replacing my lips onto his lightly at first but he encircled an arm around my back and pulled me down closer to him so now my body was flat against his and there was no space between us. I smiled into the kiss as the sound of rain suddenly smashing against the windowpane punctured the silence we were enduring. Naturally in response to me I felt Niall smile too but we carried on, blind to our surroundings.
-
“No, pass me that one. I’m not a body builder Horan, I can’t carry everything.”
He gave me a sarcastic smile and passed me the lighter box out of the two that were left. We had trucked the boxes out in the pouring rain for the past half an hour and only now, two boxes left, had it stopped and the sun came out. Figures. We should have just carried on with our previous activity, but we would have missed our flight then, nothing is ever simple.
“Sorry Dawson.”
He mimicked, I just rolled my eyes bumping him with my elbow as we fumbled the boxes into the lift and left them in the lobby by the door with the rest of them for the delivery company to pick up.
I frowned as I let my eyes roam the apartment that probably wasn’t even mine anymore. In fact it wasn’t mine anymore, considering I was moving out. Suddenly I had a flash of Mark and how overly friendly he was the day I moved in here, I was feeling out of my depth and nervous and he really calmed my nerves. We weren’t exactly all that close at all, it was just a kind of civil thing since we were neighbours and all. But I do remember him saying to me that one day if things didn’t work out in England for him then he was going to move back to New York, and he was going to move back into the apartment across from mine that he had apparently lived in a while. And suddenly I pictured him – white band tee, prominent stubble always present on his chin and upper lip, jeans and flip flops – he was older than me, I remember, twenty three? Twenty two? Either way, he was a really nice guy. And I wondered what he would do, what he would think if he was to open those doors, come up this lift expecting to find me in my usual place; but only when he got there he found it abandoned, empty. Nobody home. I thought about how contrasting it would be, to leave somewhere and come back a considerable amount of time later expecting to find things exactly the way you left them, but then to get there and find out that they weren’t. That not only things had changed; the new assortment of plastic potted plants outside his door, the new jingle for the elevator, or the new door on his empty apartment, but people had changed too. Not only changed, but moved on, I wasn’t the person I introduced myself as to him the first time anymore, in fact, if he saw me now he probably wouldn’t recognise me. It wasn’t so much that my face had changed, it hadn’t really, but it isn’t just your facial features that define you. It’s everything, the way you talk, laugh, and your general demeanour. But if you know someone well, then that’s the inside that defines who you are too. Anyone can put on a mask and act like something they’re not, but their insides will always show their true colours. Deep down, somewhere, hidden away, under dense lock and key, I always was that girl that I was when I first met and fell in love with Niall, and maybe, it just took a bit of time, patience, realization and encouragement to be that girl on both the outside and inside again, and right now, I feel extremely happy that I am.
I found myself turning around trying to get just one look at the door of Mark’s apartment and picturing him when he came out of that door, a wide smile on his lips as he greeted me, asked me a few polite questions and gave me that signature pat on the shoulder. But I didn’t see as Niall came into my vision giving me a simper of a smile as he stood next to me. I brushed it off and rested my head on his shoulder holding onto his arm as we just stared at my now empty apartment. The sofa was still there, the TV and the coffee table, but it just all looked so un-lived in. And maybe it was, I never really had strived to make it my own. I just took it as it was given to me, extravagant, expensive and modern. And then I knew – once I walked out those doors – locked this one and returned the key, that it would be just that. Empty. I wondered if somebody else would buy it, or get it gifted to them like I did, or maybe just use it as a holiday home, either way; the thought of someone else living there didn’t bother me. And maybe that was because in a way it never really felt like home, even if it was supposed to. But things don’t always feel the way they’re supposed to, and things don’t always go to plan and people make mistakes. But I can feel that moving back to London isn’t something I’m going to regret. Whatever happens.
-
Niall squeezed my hand flashing me a smile as we started up the driveway luckily clear of paparazzi. Give or take a few blurry photographs since Niall had been ‘off the scene’ the past two weeks and (hopefully) nobody knew he was in New York with me, or that I was coming back to London, making this arrival a lot easier. The gravel crunched underneath our feet and I remembered all the times I had walked up this driveway to be greeted by someone or something for so many different occasions. I remember most of the times walking up here with Niall, but sometimes I’d be on my own, sometimes I’d be excited, nervous, crying, smiling, escaping fans. Any situation, I always was fairly glad to be walking towards the comfort of this house. And sometime during the years I’ve known these boys I’d grown to find it more homely than my own home. And also, I felt a lot safer coming back here than I did my own home. But maybe it’s not even my own home anymore, according to my Mother it’s not, but I’m planning to pay one final visit soon. After all, I have to properly clear my life away, according to her. The merest contact I’ve had with her since the concluding argument early that December morning was a few days ago when I received a text from her stating simply-
I’d like all of your stuff removed from my house, soon.
Well, blunt and to the point had always been her forte. I wasn’t going to be difficult about it and if she was prepared to be co-operative then I would be back. Despite things I may have said, I never wanted it to turn out like this between us. I wanted distance, but I didn’t want out. I guess I’ve just always been the kind of person who used to believe that whatever happened family was supposed to be there for you until the end, through thick and thin, when you’re blood bound to someone clearly you were meant to endure a fairly tight knit relationship with them, right? But I suppose the term means something different to everyone. And clearly my Mother’s idea was not the same as mine. But I guess I had never really expected it to be. But you know those relationships; those relationships you can’t stand. The person annoys you to an end every single second of every single day. You shout, you go to war. You throw things at each other, you hurtle “I hate you.” ‘s every day, you insult, you sabotage, you bitch about them, you make them look bad. The apocalypse arrives and your last words to each other are “I never liked you.” The list could go on forever. But through all that, all that loathing you have for the relationship you just can’t, under any circumstances; let them go. And maybe it’s because you never even thought to give them any more than what you perceived them as: Everything you hate. And maybe, you were never meant to at least pretend to get along. And even if you never ever admitted it to yourself in your lifetime, you loved them really. And that was why you couldn’t let it go. Maybe not so dramatic, but with the same type of idea; that was how I thought mine and my Mother’s was going to go. No matter how many times we exchanged words of loathe, denied any traces of love and told each other we would disown each other, we never would officially call it quits. But we were, or she was. It wasn’t like I didn’t try, I did. I left her voicemails, maybe they were blunt but they were offering to sort things out with her, they were offering to just leave it on civil terms and pretend to get on for the sake of family. But no, she wasn’t having any of it. So after two months, I stopped trying. I never wanted it to be like this. I never wanted to be completely cut off from her, so much so that to her I was just another teenage girl and she was just another middle aged women, passing each other in this crazy world and thinking nothing more of it. But she did. And sometimes, one person’s apologies just aren’t enough. It takes two to make a relationship; it takes one to break it.
“Ashley babe!”
Harry’s voice was the first thing that greeted me. I snapped my gaze up to the front door forcing my thoughts to subside. I could almost feel them folding themselves into the back of my brain, they weren’t important anymore. She wasn’t important anymore. But it still felt like she was, like that whole argument was. Even though it sounded twisted, wrong and completely ridiculous I had this nabbing craving. This nabbing craving to know what she was going to say that night before Niall walked in, what insults were going to fill the place where Niall cut her off from. Because it would make it easier; it would be so much easier for me to detach myself if I had heard it, if I had heard what she honestly thought I was. She had all the words under the sun to use, I just wanted to know what ones she was planning to use. In a way, I felt kind of glad. That her true colours finally shone, that she was honest with what she really thought of me. Maybe the truth hurt and maybe the truth is the definition of ugly sometimes; but nonetheless, you’ve gotta be cruel to be kind. Sparing someone the truth, will always be kinder than prettying things up with a lie. I learnt that a long time ago. However many times you feed a lie, there will always be a lingering trace of truth. It may be invisible and you may think it’s not there; but just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it can’t be the thing that makes the biggest impact, even more so than the things that are visible to you. After all, it’s the quiet ones you gotta watch out for. Which is why, I was making my mission to find out what’s going on with Louis in the next month.
“Harry babe.”
I mused with a little less enthusiasm than him. Our contact had been brief yet civil since our rather heated argument, but things were different now. And if he was willing to make the effort – which he appeared to be – then I was willing to make the effort too. All hard feelings aside, I wasn’t going to hold a grudge. Niall let go of my hand as Harry enveloped me into a hug. Liam and Zayn were smiling at me by the stairs waiting for me to finish my greetings with Harry; but then I suddenly remembered what the situation was with Zayn and ‘the night out’ those few months ago. But I was going to act friendly now nonetheless, I wasn’t going to be a bitch about it. I was just going to vent my points and advice that it might not be wise to push people into doing things they don’t want to do, and to put ideas in people’s heads when they don’t even know if they’re true themselves. I was hoping he was going to apologise and then we would move on and forget all about it the same as Niall and I had.
“You look great love.”
Harry breathed as we broke the hug. He grinned widely at me showing his dimples. I smiled back glad to see that we were back on friendly terms again, even though I knew Harry could be a complete dick if he wanted to, that didn’t mean he wasn’t one of the nicest people I knew when he wanted to be as well. Even though he annoyed the hell out of me, I didn’t think I ever would quite get over not having him there to push me over the edge and creep underneath my skin every now and then.
“Thank you,” I smiled. “As do you…Awh I think your curls have got curlier.”
I cooed reaching a hand up and ruffling his mop of unruly brown curls. He gave me a sarcastic smile in which response I just smiled genuinely back at. Acting like this wasn’t going to make our friendship instantly better, but it certainly gave us a major head start. I would resume things with Harry, I knew I would. And I knew he would be willing to resume things back, it was only a matter of time before we were back to our love/hate days. Although I knew they would repose of being slightly turned down now since last time it got out of hand, and I knew neither of us wanted that to happen again, but nonetheless, I was looking forward to counting good old Harold as a close friend again.
“All the more to win you over, right?”
He beamed with a flirty grin; I rolled my eyes but smiled anyway giving him a pat on the shoulder.
“Sure,” I said. “One day Harry, one day.”
I assured him with a wink in which response he grinned satisfied with himself. I rolled my eyes at his usual cheeky demeanour and then moved onto Liam – coincidentally leaving Zayn to be next – and I wondered where Louis was. I was expecting some kind of gleeful shout and a bone crushing hug, but he was nowhere in sight. I brushed this off as I returned Liam’s smile and have him a high five – this had been an inside joke between us for about a year now – and then relaxed into his hug.
“Harry’s right,” He told me as he rubbed my back as we hugged. It was reassuring that other people could see change in me too, there was a time when I thought I may have imagined it, but now I was sure, and I was proud of myself. I’d done something I never thought I’d do. “You do look amazing love.”
As we pulled away from the hug I could feel Harry’s eyes on my body – but it didn’t surprise me – I did have a fairly low top on today, at least it was low for me. I had never been one for showing cleavage openly; in fact I quite despised it. I had no problem if other girls were comfortable to, but me, I just always felt that some things are meant to stay under your clothing in public.
“Thank you.”
I grinned.
I reluctantly moved my gaze to Zayn; he smiled at me wiggling his eye-brows. I smiled back; I wasn’t going to hold it against him. And I definitely wasn’t going to hold it against him in front of everyone else. So I enveloped myself into his hug too connecting my arms around his waist just a bit little bit more lightly than everyone else. Acting has never been my forte, and even though he might not know that I know, I felt kind of awkward hugging someone I was partially upset with. So I cut it a bit shorter but still looked up at him to do our verbal greetings.
“It’s nice to see you Ash. I’m gonna follow suit but be a bit more honest this time,” He shot his gaze to Liam and Harry. “You look hot babe.”
He smirked, I rolled my eyes playfully.
“Cheers,” I mused. “I’ve always wanted a compliment from a pretty boy.”
I smirked and he returned it.
“I’m a pretty boy and I compliment you all the time!”
The accent came from behind me. Harry rolled his eyes and I just smiled as I spun on my heel to look at Niall who was frowning at me but he soon turned it into a simper of a smile. I moved forwards past all the boxes of my stuff and slid my arms over his shoulder as simultaneous groans and mutters of “You can tell they’re back.” Sounded from the other boys. But I just smiled as I stared up at Niall tuning the others out.
“I know you are,” I winked. “I know you are Nialler.”
He grinned as I extended up on my tiptoes placing a soft and chaste kiss onto his lips before pulling away and starting at the first boxes.
“Hey guys where’s Louis?”
I inquired as I lifted up the first box that came into my sight which appeared to contain books and jewellery; it was fairly heavy, but not overly heavy. Harry and Zayn exchanged slight grimaces and I furrowed my brow in confusion; don’t tell me they’re going to start acting weird now too. I’ve had enough of people being secretive lately.
“He’s just gone to the store. We need milk.”
Harry informed me with a curt nod his curls flopping into his eyes as he did so. He flicked them from his eyes and ran a hand through the tangled locks pushing them from his face but they just dropped back into his eyes. I smirked as I watched him do this.
“Milk.”
I repeated and he looked back up at me nodding again and this time throwing in a smile too. It was unlike Louis to not be present at the time of Niall and I returning to London, even if he had been acting off, he still stuck mainly to his normal routine nonetheless. I brushed it off hoping he was going to be back soon. Even though he hadn’t been himself in a while, I had to admit I missed him. I’d missed all of them, but Louis and I used to be fairly close. It was then that I realised I missed our close friendship too, when had that gone wrong? I frowned to myself as I remembered all the times we spent together as friends, what happened to them? I know I would never have purposely drifted out of our friendship, so it had to be his doing, right? I had no idea. I shook this off too as I slipped my fingers around the handles of the cardboard box and began carrying it up the stairs following in suit of Niall.
“Ash!” Harry called up after me. I looked back down stopping on the first wind in the stairwell and raising my eye-brows urging him to continue. He was carrying a box of which I had labelled Accounting & Work sheets in my neat block print. I had also been keen to put the Handle with care warning onto fragile boxes since I know what delivery men are like sometimes. “Is there even any point putting all of this in your room?”
He queried and for a moment I just looked at him. A bang sounded above me followed by some muttered curses from Niall floating in the air. I sighed at this typical scenario and dragged my gaze back to Harry who was raising his eye-brows at me a slight smirk playing across his lips.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you never go in there.” He chuckled. “You might as well just move into Niall’s since that’s where you sleep.”
“Yes! Do it Harry, yes.”
Niall hollered from wherever he was upstairs. Harry gave me a smug look, I just smiled as I turned back around and preceded up the stairs with my box of BKS&JWLR which I presumed to be books and jewellery, I labelled so many boxes it’s hard to tell.
I now found myself en route to Niall’s room and I could hear him singing under his breath a familiar song I couldn’t place. I stopped in the doorway trying to listen but now he had stopped murmuring the words and was just humming. Rolling my eyes at my timing I proceeded into his room only to collide with him halfway through the doorway. He frowned rubbing at his stomach in a hurt fashion.
“Hasn’t anyone told you it’s not nice to slam into people with cardboard boxes?”
He pouted and I just smiled as I set it down with the rest of them at the end of his bed. His hands roughly grabbed onto my hips pulling me back into him he encircled them around further to my stomach and spun me around. I felt the cool and smooth surface of the wall come into contact with my back. Smirking I leant against it as I folded my fingers in between his and looked up at him with an innocent expression.
“Don’t go thinking you’re going to get away with it…”
He mused as he captured my lips onto his in a sweet and chaste kiss. I smiled as he pressed his body closer to mine and he slid his hands to my hips tracing around my waist. This was all very nice until someone cleared their throat behind us. We let it linger for a few more seconds before sliding our gazes to Harry who was smirking at us with raised eye-brows, Niall scowled at him as he innocently set down the box he was carrying next to the one I had brought up.
“As much as we’re glad you’re back, we don’t need that already thank you.”
Harry chuckled but Niall just continued to scowl at him. He reached out again and wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me next to him; simultaneously I rested my head on his shoulder.
“It’s my room, actually, our room.”
Niall pointed out and Harry raised his eye-brows. I just smiled as I looked down watching myself as I laced my fingers with his. And in that moment everything seemed right, like it was supposed to be like this. Harry and his PDA scolding’s, stealing kisses with Niall when we’re supposed to be doing something else, and then even through Harry’s smirks I just stood there, rested my head on Niall’s shoulder and smiled as I laced my fingers with his. And I was happy, I really was; and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.
-
A few hours later and there was still no sign of Louis. Apparently he had gone to see a friend. But I had a feeling he was avoiding me. He was ignoring my calls and texts so now I had stopped trying. I had run so many scenarios through my head; was he mad at me for calling a break on Niall and I therefore hurting his best friend? Or was he mad at me for not keeping up our friendship to what it used to be? Or maybe he thought I was selfish, for spending all my time in New York and not coming back to England to see Niall, or any of them for the past four months. But I was back now, and I was here to stay – at least I hoped to – so what was his problem? Of course there could be the thing of he actually was going to get milk and was taking a long time about it and just genuinely couldn’t be here right now and he would greet me as if I had only just got here when he did get back, but somehow to me this seemed unlikely. But I guess I’ll find out soon, some when, at least I hope.
The thing that I definitely was going to do as soon as possible now that I was back in England was go to see my sister. It had been way too long; watching her through the lens of a camera isn’t the same as real life. You can sit there and hold her in real life, hold her hand, brush her hair from her face, kiss her cheek and whisper everything you’ve ever wanted her to know into her ear. You can take a picture, a screenshot, you can capture the moment in a million and one and then some pixels but you can’t beat being there for real, holding the image of her so motionless and unchanged in your mind is a lot more tear jerking in the real, in the flesh. But sometimes it’s nicer to know that someone or something causes you weakness, that person in that situation that tugs on your heartstrings, jars your emotions and scars your every movement. There’s something proving about that, and then you really know they’re special to you. You can try and deny it, but you’ll probably never get over losing them.
I looked up at the clock – it had now been twenty minutes since Niall had announced he was going to shower – and I could still hear the water going. And he complains I take a long time in the shower, I have about ten times the amount of hair compared to him; hypocrite.
The black bin bag to my left was breaching overflow, but I was determined to get everything that didn’t mean anything anymore out of here, out of these boxes. All these boxes are supposed to contain my life, they’re supposed to be a part of me. But only half of them feel like it. I wasn’t even aware I had taken half of this stuff with me to New York – but apparently I had – I couldn’t help but feel my Mother had sneaked some unimportant things of my childhood into my bags before I originally left for New York for the first time. Maybe it was just her way of slowly but surely slipping shards of my life out of hers. She didn’t want any reminders of me lurking around. I felt a certain sense of rejection when I had come across multiple baby photos that I knew for a fact had been in the album along with Ellie’s. It was almost as if she was refusing to believe or accept that she ever gave birth to me, that I was ever her daughter. Suddenly I had a flash of that New Year’s night: It was a tense dinner that night, and my Mother wasn’t even there, but it just made me feel even more uncomfortable when I had taken a trip to my parents room to search for my hairspray that often got carted into their room when Ellie decided to use their double mirrors. So that’s what I did and at first it was fine – I had plucked the hairspray from the vanity and I was on my way out – but then that was when I saw it. I had told myself to just keep walking, just keep on getting ready to go and see Niall later but there was almost something drawing me in. Things were never ripped – they were shredded. It was just a thing in my family, if you had to get rid of something – you use the shredder – you don’t rip it. Ripping something up is what possesses of pure anger, it’s a spur of the moment thing; and you don’t do it again. But yet there it was, screaming the complete opposite in my face. So I had bent down onto the carpet leaving the hairspray at my feet and I pried it from the bin. At first it was just a single scrap of blue sky; which not only suggested a memory had been ripped – but it was a good memory, a nice memory. And then there was another corner, fitting to the first one, in this one it was blurred; the sun was too bright and was casting dazes of translucent spots onto the lens of the camera. And then there was a bigger one; but this one wasn’t ripped. It had only be departed; as if it was too good to be attached to the other, to be bound together like that. And then there she was, her chubby legs and tufts of blonde hair, the pink Alice band sporting a red flower over her barely hair – it was the child of my sister. And sure enough, foreshadowing her presence was my Mother. Younger her cheekbones were higher, her skin thicker and clad in less make-up. Her hair was pulled up into a wispy bun and sunglasses were concealing half of her face. Her thin and translucent white blouse was fluttering in the breeze, her arms slid over her my sister’s shoulders, holding her upright. And then there was this one little hand, but that was all it was, the rest cut off from this half of the picture, it was around her arm, clasping on as if for dear life itself. And now that I thought back – I remembered that day – and I remember who took this picture: Jane.
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A/N.
I'm having a strange obsession with Maroon Five songs.
Okay, so now this story is longer than Picture This. fuuck.
So I'm gonna have to start rounding things up pretty soon, I still have Elise's wedding to throw in and I have some juicy Claire drama for you all okay;D and then we'll start clearing things up and then I'll be starting on threequel: SO IT'S DEFINITE NOW. But this is just a pre-warning okay: I'm going back to school on the 5th of september and from that point onwards uploads are gonna become every other day. Sorry, but it's better than like once a week, riiight? It's just I'm starting exams and stuff now so like yeah. I wanna do well at school:3 Maybe once I get back into my school routine and I get used to all my new classes and timetables and homework and shit then they can return to every day but idk man. And before any of you comment; YES I HAVE A SHORT SUMMER. I live in England we have shorter summers than you Americas okay;) it all balances out, I think we have more holidays across the year or something idk.
anyway,
So threequel ftw.
so ANYHTINNGG you wanna see in this book before I start rounding it up you need to tell me literally now. And bare in mind we can't have all the happy concluding stuff since there's gonna be third book I need shit to put in there too. The threequel can't be interesting if you don't give me your ideaas bitches!;)
okay love you baby
-Emily.