TRIGGER WARNING: sexual harassment
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"I don't want to work with him!" Vannessa said the moment Lee walked into the pantry to follow her. Halos padabog niyang isinalin ang kanyang baso sa coffee maker bago nagbuntonghininga.
Nakita niyang napaikot ng mga mata ang kaibigan bago kumuha ng isang tasa ng kape. "Parang nagpakilala lang 'yong tao, Van," tugon nito, bakas ang pagkairita sa boses.
She breathed deeply before looking at him. "I saw him in the bar last night."
Kaagad naman siyang pinagtaasan ng kilay nito. "Then?"
She pursed her lips before opening her mouth again. Her brows were already furrowed as she recalled everything that she saw last time. "Dancing with that Janica Gutierrez Villareal," she added.
"So what?" Magkasalubong na rin ang mga kilay ni Lee nang binalingan siya nito ng tingin. "What's wrong with that? We do that everytime we go in the bar, Vannessa, but that doesn't make us awful people."
Nag-iwas ng tingin si Vannessa bago napanguso. She could feel the hard thudding of her heart against her chest, remembering what she had seen in the bar, weighing her immense feelings and what had happened. She hated that Lee was right. She was being unfair, and she couldn't help but continue acting unfair.
She let out a sigh before staring at her coffee, nibbling on her lip. She could feel her heart pounding hard, and her cheeks heating up as she thought of the words to say, words to defend herself. Out of dismay, she found nothing. She knew she was wrong, and she hated to admit it.
There could be a huge chance that she was just overreacting with all the Jax thing. After all, Jax Dela Fuerte had no controversial issues under his sleeves, at least according to what Venice sent her. Nonetheless, Vannessa wasn't the kind of person who would change her mind just like that. She needed to see for herself. She just couldn't trust that easily.
Tumabi sa kanya si Lee bago sumandal sa counter, nakatingin sa kanya. "I understand your frustrations, Van. I also don't want anything bad to happen to you. Ayokong mangyari iyong nangyari noon, but please just give him a chance to prove himself? If he turns out to be someone we don't want, then ako mismo ang mauunang susuntok sa kanya, I promise you."
Natawa siya sa sinabi nito tsaka pinagtaasan ng kilay ang kaibigan. "Naks, susuntukin mo talaga?" nakangising tanong niya rito. "I bet you find him attractive. Kaya mo kaya?"
Lee grinned before looking at his long nails, his lips forming into a long pout. "Kaka-mani ko lang. Sipa na lang pala," natatawa nitong tugon bago sinipa-sipa nang marahan ang hangin. "Hindi siya maliligtas ng gwapo niyang mukha, kahit ang cute-cute niya tingnan nang nakasalamin. And remember, marami kaming back-up mo. Gulpi siya sa 'min."
Vannessa grinned, shaking her head. She reached for her coffee mug before enjoying her cup of coffee, thinking.
Now that she was feeling a lot better, she was able to think more clearly about Jax. She would admit that she was rude a moment ago, and that she allowed her emotions to get the better off her. Yet, she still couldn't let it slip, especially when she remembered Brian Ting, her supposed-to-be model last time.
Hindi niya alam kung may pagkakamali rin ba siyang ginawa dahil may kaonting pagtitiwala ang ibinigay niya rito sa pagkakataong iyon. Hindi siya nagpa-background check at nagtiwala lang na matino itong lalaki. Afterall, as funny as it sounded, he looked harmless. That was the thing. People who could inflict the much harm could look the least harmful. Looks were deceiving, and Vannessa had learned her lesson.
Sa tuwing naiisip niya ang mga nangyari sa sarili niyang apartment ay tumatayo pa rin ang mga balahibo niya. She would feel a pit in her stomach, and as much as she hated it, she could still smell even the scent of the perfume he was wearing that time.
The first time they met, the guy acted decently, and he didn't show any interest with her. Maybe that was why she allowed herself to trust him even just for a little bit. He treated everyone nicely, and he was like a younger brother she never had, and he said to have older and younger sisters. That was why Vannessa didn't even think that he could do that because how could a man surrounded by his sisters disrespect and harass a woman?
That was why she agreed on letting him in her apartment which happened to be one of her worst mistakes. "I just want to talk to you about the designs. May I come in?" he asked with a smile on his face.
Vannessa trusted his smile that looked so genuine and sincere. She let him in, and she knew it was already too late when she felt his hands sliding into her waist, and his hot breath against her nape. "Vannessa, I've always liked you," he whispered. "Always looked at you from afar. Always wondered how your skin feels under my touch."
She would never forget the musky scent lingering in the air at that time as she stood frozen on the ground, feeling the hard pounding of her heart against her chest, feeling the heat radiating from his body. Hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin niya sa pagkakataong iyon. It was thought that the initial response of humans to incidents like that was either fight or flight, but for Vannessa, it was freeze. And it wasn't the first sexual harassment that she had experienced, but her reactions to every single time of it were identical. She never outgrown the feeling, and she doubted that she'd ever do so.
Luckily, he wasn't as insistent as other guys. She was able to get away from him, out of her apartment, and when she met Greg, that was when her reaction past fright manifested. Umiyak lang siya nang umiyak at parang batang nagsumbong sa kaibigan.
Kahit matagal-tagal na rin magmula nang mangyari ito'y sa tuwing naiisip niya ito'y hindi niya pa rin maiwasang maramdaman ang pakiramdam ng paghaplos nito sa balat niya at ang amoy ng pabango nito. Whenever she smelled the same scent, she'd always remember that moment. It had left a mark on her, as if Brian had imprinted his presence to that distinct scent.
Nang dahil sa nangyari'y tinulungan siya ng mga magulang at kaibigan niyang lumipat ng condo dahil hinding-hindi na magbabago ang tingin niya sa dating apartment. Isang beses lang iyon ngunit sa tuwing nakikita niya ang kanyang sala ay iyon ang naaalala niya.
Her comfort space had been disrespected. She was abused in the place where she was supposed to feel safe.
Kahit naturuan na si Brian ng leksyon ay alam niyang hindi na mawawala pa ang epekto ng ginawa nito sa kanya.
And she had always wondered about other girls who weren't so fortunate to get away from harassments, unlike her. Hindi niya alam kung anong gagawin niya kapag tuluyan siyang nagalaw nang hindi niya gusto. Hindi niya maatim na isipin man lang na ilagay ang sarili sa sitwasyon ng mga ito.
"I'm just…" She breathed deeply. "..scared."
Tinitigan siya ni Lee nang ilang segundo dahil sa sinabi niya tsaka napanguso. He placed the mug down before opening his arms. "Aww, halika," he said. Vannessa pouted before putting her mug down and embracing him. Hinaplos-haplos ng kaibigan ang buhok niya. "I understand, Hun. You have the right to be. I understand your sentiments and the depths of them, okay, and don't ever think that I invalidate your feelings. It's just that it's yet too soon to judge someone you just met.
"Him dancing with a girl in the bar doesn't define him wholly as a person, just like you aren't defined wholly by the bad things people say about you," he said.
Vannessa pouted even more, feeling the heating up of her face. She swallowed the lump on her throat, but still decided to nod in agreement.
Nang bumitiw na silang dalawa sa pagkakayakap ay nginitian siya ni Lee bago nito iniayos ang buhok niya. "Let's finish drinking our coffee bago pa ito lumamig. Now, that would ruin my morning."
THE MODELS WERE BRIEFED about the contract that they would be signing, how things would work, and how they could make things work. It was a good thing because Vannessa didn't have to worry about interacting with Jax. Not just yet.
While the briefing was being conducted, Vannessa was reading scripts concerning the entirety of the project. Together with the other designers, they started consulting directors and other production staff for the development of different design concepts and plan productions.
It was a busy day for her. She just hoped that she could finally participate in the project, unlike the last time. Hiniling niya na sana'y talagang matino nga ang kanyang modelo. She couldn't afford the same thing to happen to her again.
Muntik nang lumabas ang kaluluwa niya nang nag-angat siya ng tingin mula sa screen ng kanyang computer at nakita si Jax na kaagad ding nagulat sa pagkagulat niya. "Hala, sorry, hindi ko sadya."
Kaagad napakurap-kurap si Vannessa, nakatitig sa binata nang ilang segundo bago nag-iwas ng tingin. She sat properly before clearing her throat. "Uh, hi, please seat," she said, motioning to the chair in front of her.
Sumunod naman ang lalaki, nakatingin pa rin sa kanya. She didn't want to look at him as much as possible because whenever she did so, she remembered someone from his countenance.
They were able to discuss the matters that they needed to talk about: their schedules, what Vannessa expected from Jax, what Jax expected from Vannessa, and the things that concerned the process of developing the designs. Luckily, she didn't sound so flustered about the whole situation even when her heart was beating harder than usual.
Jax acted professional the whole time. Wala siyang maipupuna laban dito.
From the moment they were done discussing the last thing to be discussed, there was silence between the both of them. Vannessa didn't want to sound as if she really wanted him out of her office so she waited for the guy to say his farewell.
When she heard him clear his throat, he said after, "Uhm, I just want to apologize for what happened."
Vannessa pursed her lips before meeting his gaze. There was some trace of sincerity on his countenance, and even if she didn't want to, she remembered Brian. That ignited fear in her system. Kaagad siyang nag-iwas ng tingin. "No, I should be the one who should be apologizing. I am sorry for acting rude kanina. If that ever offended you, my apologies."
Tumango-tango ito. Inasahan niyang tatayo na ang lalaki para lumabas sa kanyang office pero muli itong nagsalita. "Miss, if you don't mind me asking, why where you in the bar last night?"
Jax must've realized that Vannessa didn't want to answer his question when she looked up to meet his eyes again. There was an apologetic look on his face after that. With an adamant tone, she said, "I would like to suggest for the both of us to remain professionals, and not talk about the things that do not concern our business with each other."
Kaagad nag-iwas ng tingin ang binata bago tumango-tango. "I understand. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm meddling," he apologized. Vannessa didn't say anything. He smiled at her before standing and pointing at the door. "Uhm, if you'll excuse me. Mauna na ako, Miss."
Tanging pagtango lang ang itinugon ni Vannessa sa lalaki. Nang tumalikod na ito para lumabas ng kanyang opisina'y hindi niya mapigilang sundan ito ng tingin.
Ramdam niya ang malakas na pagkabog ng dibdib habang pinagmamasdan ito. Nang tuluyan nang nakaalis ang lalaki'y doon lamang siya nakahinga nang maluwag bago napasandal sa backrest ng kanyang swivel chair tsaka nakipagtitigan sa kisame.
She was glad that the day with the guy was over. It was almost torture looking at him. His resemblance with Jackson was very uncanny. She hated it. She even hated the fact that she would be working with the guy, and she would remember Jack whenever she'd look at him.