I felt dizzy, my head felt 10 times heavier, my whole body felt numb but in pain, it felt as if I was high, it was hard for me to open my eyes but I eventually did.
"Shh shh, she's waking up." I heard someone whisper, I didn't recognize the voice.
I opened my eyes immediately regretting it, the light blinding me. I groaned and shut them closed again. A few moments passed and I decided to open them again, this time looking at my left and away from the window.
My vision was a bit blurry at first but eventually came back to normal. I saw Freddie holding my hand while Brian and John were looking at me in awe. "Yes! YES! you're awake." Freddie said with happy tears in his eyes. They all looked relieved.
"What happened?" I mumbled a bit tired. "You had a concussion but you're okay now." Brian said reaching to hold my hand. "You slept the whole night and morning until now." John sighed, he looked nervous and anxious, at the edge of having a panic attack. "Am I at the hospital right now?" I whispered, too tired to make an effort to say it any louder. "Yes darling you're but don't worry, the health insurance covers it all." Freddie said pushing Brian away from me and holding my hand once again kissing it slightly.
Insurance. That was a funny word.
In su rance. I n s u r a n c e. I repeated the word over and over in my head, clearly high in pain killers.
Where have I heard that word before. Health insurance. Life insurance. Home insurance. Car insurance.
THE CAR!
"Rogers car!" I yelled at the top of my lungs snapping back to reality making my chest hurt. "hey hey hey, it's okay, don't worry about that." Freddie whispered pulling himself closer to me. My head started hurting again by thinking about yesterday. "Where's Roger?" I asked them. They all sighed and looked away from me. They didn't answer but I didn't ask them again.
"I'm thirsty." I mumbled trying to distract myself from the fact that Roger didn't come to see me. "Water." "Yes water." "Now now, water." "she wants water." "Yes she's thirsty." They all said at once walking around the hospital room looking for water. They looked so cute until John opened the door leading to the hallway and yelled. "Help! Help! It's Andrea! Someone help!" He yelled as if his life depended on it. Five nurses and two doctors rushed into my room pushing John aside. They all saw me laying comfortably in bed and their faces were confused. "What's the matter?" One of them asked. "She is thirsty." John replied embarrassed noticing that he made such a big deal out of nothing. The doctors and nurses groaned and rolled their eyes exciting my room.
"I guess i'll just have to go to the cafeteria to get you some water" John said leaving the room.
"How are you feeling?" Freddie asked me rubbing my hand with his thumb. "My head hurts a bit." I whispered closing my eyes again. We stayed in silence for a few minutes until Brian spoke up. "I'm so sorry Andy, I really am." Brian whispered with a voice crack at the end of that sentence. I opened my eyes, he was biting his nails looking down at the floor. "This is all my fault." He said more to himself than to me.
"Brian wh-" "I shouldn't have given you the keys, I noticed you were drunk but I still gave them to you, i'm an idiot." Brian said cutting me off. "Don't blame this on yourself Brian, I did this to myself, this is not your fault whatsoever" I replied stretching out my hand for him to take it. I pulled him into a hug which hurt my back but I didn't care. I didn't want Brian to think it was his fault. I heard him sobbed slightly, his breath hitting my neck, I ran my hair through his curly hair. "it's okay Bri, i'm okay." I whispered to him. We pulled away from the hug and I swiped away my tears away, I didn't even notice I was crying.
I tried to enlighten the mood by changing the topic of the conversation. "So when are you guys leaving for Boston?" I asked them, Boston was our next stop on tour. "Oh don't be ridiculous, we are not going anywhere without you darling, we have canceled our concerts" Freddie answered me. "You have?" I asked. "Of course, we are staying here until you are allowed to leave." Brian added.
Probably the pain killers and the anesthesia made me sentimental because I instantly burst into tears. "Wo-uh-What's wrong?" Freddie asked me with a worried face. I sobbed and weep for two straight minutes. "I-I-I'm sorry you had to cancel our concerts, I-I ruined the tour, I'm so sorry." I cried into Freddie's shoulder. "Andy, you kind of saved us, we were exhausted." Brian mumbled placing his hand behind my back. "Besides, we are touring in the USA next year, so there's nothing to worry about." Freddie added.
I started patting the left side of the bed motioning Freddie to cuddle with me, he struggled getting on it but eventually did, laying next to me. "Don't forget about me." Brian said laying himself at my right side.
"Is this some sort of group nap that i'm missing?" John exclaimed entering the hospital room with about five bottles of water putting them down on the floor and making himself comfortable at the edge of the bed where our feet were hanging, he looked like a cat.
My eyes started feeling heavy once again and I fell asleep.
-
"Honey wake up, Andrea i'm here wake up, please my love, wake up." Someone whispered while running their hands through my head.
I opened my eyes hoping to see him.
False alarm.
"Mom?"
"Andrea, thanks God you're okay." She said pulling me into a hug. "What are you-" "When he called I started freaking out and of course I had to come." My mom said cutting me off and pulling me into a hug once again. "I'm so sorry Andrea, for everything." She said crying, I hugged her back even though it hurt like hell.
What happened next was a blur because of the drugs I was in.
-
I was reading a magazine still sitting down in my hospital room. The boys and my mom had gone to sleep to a private waiting room where they could sleep, watch T.V. and eat, that room was bigger than mine but I mean they were four and I was one so it kind of made sense. They got that private waiting room because most of the doctors and nurses recognized them, I guess being a rockstar has its perks.
It was my third night in the hospital and it was literally draining me. I wasn't allowed to leave my room and it was horribly boring.
My mind kept wondering where would Roger be, maybe he was already back in London or perhaps he went to Boston and was now making out with another girl, part of me wanted to believe that he was still in New York waiting for me to recover.
-
Right when I was about to got to sleep I heard a knock on my door. "Come in." I said turning the light back on
And there he stood.
Roger Meddows Taylor.
At first I thought it was an illusion, my head hadn't been working properly for the past few days but then he spoke.
"Andrea.." He sighed. His voice filled the entire room and warmed every single inch of my body. I have missed him so much.
"God, look at you." He said walking towards me, sadness in his tone. His eyes roamed through my bruised body, he looked so concerned and confused. "I-It doesn't hurt actually." I said noticing his heart breaking expression. He stayed in silence still scanning every bruise with his eyes, he didn't come close to me, he seemed afraid I could break into pieces. "I did this to you." He muttered looking straight into my eyes, his eyes were filled with regret but they still managed to be the most beautiful in the whole world.
I sighed not wanting to go through this again. "Rog, this is not your fault." I sighed attempting to sit up straight on my bed but failed. "Yes it is, I should have followed you, I should have insisted on-" "Well, I did tell you to fuck off." I said trying to enlighten the mood. He chuckled at this. "Well you have called me worse." He said giving me a tight smile. I knew he didn't say it to make me feel bad but he did. I remembered what I told him a few nights ago. Fuckboy. This was my time to apologize.
"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time and laughed a bit. "I'll go first" I said and took a deep breath. "I'm extremely sorry for calling you a fuckboy, I know I shouldn't have and I regret calling you that every single day; I snapped at you like that because firstly I had a this big family problem because I dropped out of college and secondly because I didn't want to ruin our relationship nor my relationship with the band; I know those aren't valid excuses; I'm also willing to buy you a new car, a better one, you have all the right to be mad and to hate me but I hope you will forgive me." I finally said waiting for him to answer.
"Andrea I don't give a damn about the car, I only care about you. When they called me saying that you had got into a car accident I had a mental breakdown and yes, hate filled me, but I hated myself for not going after you, I didn't hate you at all, I don't hate you, and I will never hate you, it's impossible for me to do so." Roger said closing the distance between us. "and of course I forgive you, you kind of were right about the fuckboy part" He mumbled shutting his eyes at once. "No, I wasn't, you're more than that." I replied looking at him in the eye, I wanted so bad for him to understand that.
"I'm sorry for kissing other girls." He whispered embarrassed about it. "It's okay we are not a couple." I mumbled. "Yet." He said under his breath taking my hand in his drawing small circles with his thumb.
We stayed a few moments in silence just appreciating each others company. "Can you stay for the night?" I mumbled shyly. He sighed giving me a toothless smile. "Of course."
I moved slightly to my right allowing him to get into the hospital bed with me. I rested my head against his chest with my right hand loosely laying in his stomach; his right arm hold my back drawing circles in it and his left hand took mine.
We stayed like that for a long time and when he thought I was asleep he whispered into my ear.
"Don't you ever think that I hate you; if I feel something towards you is pure love."
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