I'm Running Out Of Ideas Here, Halp
Y/n POV
'Can Anything Normal Happen For Once?' I thought as I See Sledge and Nora Fucking Shit Up Around The Emerald Forest, Vigil and Ren high on tea, and Blake's Gone Missing. Great. And Since It's In My Job Description To Find Missing People And Bring Them Back Here Safely.......Fuck it, I'll just blow open a building and kill everyone inside except the hostage but I can't do that since Fuze is one of the three people capable to do it.
Back on track, I Slapped Vigil Harder than How He Slapped Me, Fired A Singular AC-130 Missile somewhere near Sledge, then I got both a scroll call and an earpiece call, I Answered both of them and let me tell you, It's a bad idea
Sledge/Ozpin: OY FOOKWIT! YOU COULD'A KILLED ME!/Was that a missile? Or was it Mr. Winchester getting his dick shot off?
Y/n: FUCK MY EARHOLES! Ok, Sledge, I Need You For Something, and Sorry, Ozpin, It's A Missile.
Ozpin: I Understand.
Sledge: Do We Need To Find Blake Or Somthin' Like That?
Y/n: yep. and also how's Velvet after the uhh.....you know...
Sledge: she's fine. And by that I mean SHE GOT HER FUGGEN HYMEN STITCHED BACK
Vigil: *spits out tea* WHO'S WHAT GOT WHAT BACK?!
Y/n: NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW. Ok. We Find Blake, Talk About It Later And SLEDGE DON'T FUGGEN EAT MY COOKIES
unfortunately as I said 'Cookies' Ruby uses her semblance to chase after Sledge.
Y/n: Sledge. Mate, run your ass back here.
Sledge: Why?
Y/n: A RED HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE IS HEADED YOUR WAY!
and in a blink of an eye, Sledge appears in front of me....or actually crushing vigil
Sledge: KPOP SHIELD ACTIVE! FUCK YOU HEAT SEEKER!
Vigil: I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS!
and another cue pops and Ruby, Sledge and Vigil explode.............actually there were 2.........
Sledge:................*raises pack of cookies in defeat*
Vigil: let's get to whatever we were doing so we can continue this shitshow later. *coughs out soot*
Y/n: CUE THE FUCKING TIMESKIP PLEASE!
TIMESKIP
Here we are....at the docks....this place looks like a fuggen warzone. We scanned the place top to bottom but what catches my eye were the fucking SEVERED ARMS AND LEGS! I Know It's Irrational To Shout At A Time Like This But Goddamn! Someone Else Must Be Here!
I was about to ask Vigil and Sledge about the severed limbs but us 3 all hear a familiar masterkey shotgun go off
(A/N: This is the last operator i'm gonna add. Because It's A 4 Man Team.)
We then hear screaming and feet running away from Maple Syrup Monster, and he finally shows himself to us. Bucky Fuckin' Brown. In the Canadian Flesh
Buck: Holy Shit, You Guys Are Here! Thank God I'm Not Alone Here
Y/n: I could say 'good to have you back' or whatever right now, but did you see a gothic girl with cat ears around here?
Buck: *points to an alleyway* I think over there, and hurry up, she got the bad end of the fight
Vigil: if Doc was here, we wouldn't be healing Blake by now, right Sledge? *looks around for Sledge* Sledge?
We heard men screaming and a hammer hitting anything it touches, so we rushed over to the alleyway, and see Sledge acting like Goblin Slayer, Knocking Out the White Fang Members, an Unconcious Sun and Bla-OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHO HAD THE IDEA OF MAKING ALMOST EVERY CRIMINAL RAPISTS AROUND REMNANT?!
(A/N: *whistles*)
and Blake's clothes are ripped off and she's unconcious.
Y/n: for the love of...Buck, You Got Anymore Poutine Supreme Shirts?
Buck: Yup
Y/n: Please put it on Blake. We Don't Need Anymore Potential Rapists On The Streets
Vigil: you do realise that if they wanted to rape her they would need to go through us first. Sledge first.
Sledge: fook you too then.
Buck put the Poutine Supreme Shirt on Blake, Sledge Carried Her, and not gonna lie, She Looks Like Akidearest. Ok, no more perverted thoughts, Get Blake To Beacon, Dump Her Into The Medical Ward, Get Buck In Our Squad, and Sleep This Shit Off. While Walking To The Nearest Bullhead, We Decided To Spark Up A Conversation
Y/n: So...what're your guy's thoughts on dokkaebi?
Sledge: small
Buck: ok
Y/n: what about you Vigil?
Vigil: *listening to the last kpop track dokkaebi downloaded on his phone* what?
Y/n: your thoughts on dokka?
Vigil: uhh......she's......a friend.
Y/n: *suspicious* hmm.....is that so?
Vigil: yes. *dosen't know he's sweating and blushing*
Y/n: ok
Buck: Y/n, sometimes you're dumb.
Y/n: why?
Vigil: oh shit he knows
Buck: he clearly has one for kpop, not dokkaebi!
Vigil *phew*
Sledge: but that dosen't answer why Vigil answered Y/n pretty slowly compared to us
Vigil: i'm fucked
Y/n: so what do you think?
Sledge: *deadpan* he has one for dokkaebi. Fuck you Bucking Idiot
TAKE 2
Sledge: he has one for dokkaebi. Buck you Fucking Idiot
Buck: I'm not the smartest person okay? Cut me some slack
Sledge: still dumber than Bandit when he's coked outta his mind.
Buck: Fuck You Too Then!
We All Laughed at Buck, even Vigil, who we forgot to make fun of, speaking of which.
Y/n: I Bet Dokkaebi Sends Vigil Her Nudes! *runs to the bullhead
Vigil: Y/N YOU FUCKER! *chases after Y/n*
Sledge: should we interfere?
Buck: Naaaaah, Let Them Have Their Fun
*in the distance near the bullhead*
Vigil: DO YOU EVER GET TIRED?!
Y/n: I'M GONNA TELL DOKKAEBI WHEN WE GET BACK!
Vigil: ATLEAST DON'T MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL PLEASE!
Y/n: I JUST IMAGINE DOKKAEBI IN YOUR ROOM WITH NOTHING ON BUT A MINI BIKINI AND SAYING TO YOU "Stick Your USB Into My Tight Slot~"!
Vigil: AND I'LL MAKE SURE WHEN WE GET BACK TO BEACON I'M GONNA TELL VELVET THAT YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF HER GETTING FUCKED BY THOSE RAPISTS AND THAT YOU JACK OFF TO THAT SHIT!
Y/n: POINT TAKEN! SORRY!
Vigil: POINT TAKEN AS WELL! SORRY!
Y/n: *stops running* so, we even now?
Vigil: yup. Let's Head Back To Beacon.
We were about to board the Bullhead, when something zapped my ass
Y/n: Ow My Ass.
And laughing inside the Bullhead. If It's Twitch I Swear. The Bullhead Door Swings Open and Out Walks The Motorcycle Helmet Wearing, Spider Collecting, Drone Jacking Australian Bastard Himself, Mozzie.
Moz: So, Guess Who's Back Gents?
At this point Buck and Sledge Arrive.
Sledge: MOZ! HOW'VE YA BEEN YEE OL AUSTRALIAN BASTARD?!
Moz: OI! YU DON' HAFTA SHOUT MATE! I'M ROIGHT FACKIN 'ERE!
Y/n: they do this a lot don't they?
Vigil/Buck: Pretty Much
And After Some More Non-Coherent Scottish and Aussie Speak, we finally head back to beacon, where we got Buck and Moz to join our squad, sadly for Moz, he can't have his biker helmet on, so he said 'fuck it' or 'Fack This Shite' and wore a balaclava like me, so now we're Balaclava Bros, hunting down ravenous douchebags while also eating bread with Vegemite. Yup, I'm Gonna Be This Stereotypical.
So Anyways, As I Said, We Sleep Off The Night, With Mozzie Upside Down, Because He Likes It, And I Then Let Sleep's Sweet Embrace Overwhelm Me.
In The Distance a Room Where Music Is Playing, A Man Who Has Bandages On His Head And Is Smoking An Endless Cigar is...................................................well, he's being a weeb, Playing Renai Circulation while Browsing Through Hentai Like It's Nothing
Deimos: KAMI-SAMA ARIGATOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUNMEI NO ITAZURA DEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MEGURIAE TOKOTOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHIAAAWAAA SEEEE NAAA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Deimos: OK WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THERE SO MUCH FUCKING RAPE HENTAI I WILL FIND THEM AND RAPE THEIR ASSES TO SHOW THEM WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
Deimos: YEET THAT FURRY SHIT OUTTA HERE! NEKOS ARE THE REAL FUCKIN DEAL!
While In The Doorway a Man wearing Grey Teashades, a Bandanna covering his head and a Tank Top watches Deimos
Sanford: and here we observe the Biggest Virgin in the World, he dosen't do anything else besides jack off to hentai and listen to Renai Circulation. At This Rate Humanity Is Doomed.