Kit watched the sun rise over the trees, the burnt orange rays hitting each tent individually. He had spent the night propped up against a tree. He hadn't slept at all. He had half-wanted Ty to come rushing out of the tent after him, but of course, he didn't. Kit felt like shit; he had likely added nothing but confusion to Ty's already tumultuous feelings, and he dreaded to think what he thought of him now.
People had begun leaving their tents slowly to make small fires and cook breakfast. The smell of bacon carried through the breeze, making Kit nauseous. He watched Jace and Clary leave their tent, talking animatedly with each other. Kit could see even from a distance how grossly in love they both were. His heart ached with a strange and terrifying yearning. He tore his eyes away from them and immediately made eye contact with Ty. He looked fragile, like a china doll. His pitch-black hair made his face look all the more pale, and his grey eyes watery. He couldn't help but think Ty was beautiful anyway. An aura of golden light formed around his silhouette from the rising sun. It was the closest a Shadowhunter had looked to their angelic ancestors Kit had ever seen. Ty had the appearance of a deer in the headlights, unsure if he wanted to approach Kit or not. He didn't, turning on his heel and walking over to the fire. Kit bumped his head against the tree and groaned.
Simon, Isabelle, Jace, Clary, Magnus, and Alec were all huddled together: Jace and Clary holding hands, Simon and Izzy with their heads pressed together, and Magnus had Alec's head in his lap, and stroked his hair tenderly. Magnus watched Ty approach, his eyes flitting over to Kit briefly, giving him a knowing look, before greeting Ty. Kit turned, choosing instead to watch Cristina leaving the dense woods. He could only imagine what she might have been doing there.
Everyone was set to go to the imperishable fields in an hour, and Kit had watched everyone don their uniforms and rune themselves and their respective parabatai or fellow Shadowhunters. Kit had been told by several different people that he and Ty wouldn't be joining everyone on the fields, as there was a possibility a fight would break out, and he and Ty were too young. He could understand why he wasn't allowed to go, barely a Shadowhunter with no training, but Ty was one of the best Shadowhunters Kit knew. The only reason he didn't stand up for Ty was the gut-wrenching torrent of fear at the idea of a fight breaking out and Ty being in the middle of it.
Kit reluctantly got up and went to the rest of the group, head down and hands firm in his pockets. Ty looked up at him, his face showing no indication of what he might be feeling. Kit didn't look back but also didn't move away as Julian approached the two of them.
"You know you have to stay here, don't you?" Julian said. Kit nodded, but Ty was much more reluctant.
"I don't see why we have to stay back while everyone else gets to go to the imperishable fields."
"We want to keep you safe," Julian argued, ever the protective older brother. Ty crossed his arms over his chest indignantly.
"And we want to be there with you," Ty bit back, speaking for the both of them despite the fact that Kit wasn't even dressed in appropriate fighting gear. "We want to fight beside you."
"Ty, this isn't a fight. It's a parley. A peace meeting. I can't just bring my whole family with me."
"But it isn't like you were invited and we weren't." Kit had to admit, Ty always made good points in arguments; it always surprised him whenever he lost.
"If we all show up, it will be chaos," Julian said, his voice calm and level. "You need to stay here. You aren't being tossed to the side, you have a job, and it's just as important."
Eventually, Ty relented with a small nod. "Give a warning. Stay safe."
Julian took his brother's face in his hands, and Kit saw how young Ty looked next to Julian.
"That's right. Stay safe, I love you." Julian kissed Ty on the top of his head and walked back to Emma.
Jace appeared by Kit's side suddenly like a golden phantom and rested a gentle hand on Kit's shoulder.
"You feeling alright?" Jace asked. Kit nodded, unsure whether or not he and Jace had a close enough relationship for Kit to really say anything. Jace smiled and unsheathed a dagger from his side; it was jewelled, with herons engraved in the metal handle, the Herondale family signet. Jace handed it to a shocked Kit.
"I want you to have it. You're a Herondale, you deserve it."
Kit didn't think he had done anything to deserve it, but he took it from Jace with slightly trembling fingers.
"I–Thank you," Kit stammered, struggling to find the proper words to express his gratitude. Jace bowed his head and turned away. Kit felt the ghost of a smile pull up his face. Someone pulled on his sleeve.
"Come with me," Ty said. "We're on lookout."
Kit didn't have much of a choice but to let himself be pulled by Ty past all the tents and shrubbery. He didn't stop until they reached a large oak tree at the edge of the passing, overlooking the fields. Ty fit himself in the hollow of a large oak tree. Unsure what to do with himself, Kit plopped down next to him. The two of them stayed there, the silence thickening for so long that they were able to hear the beginnings of everyone else making their way down to the fields.
"Are you really never going to talk to me again?" Ty asked, finally breaking the silence. Kit turned to look at him, trying to decipher his emotions. Ty looked down at his sleeve, boring a hole into it with his thumb and forefinger. His hair had fallen in front of his forehead, and before Kit could think twice about it, he reached over and brushed the hair out of Ty's face. His eyes widened in surprise, his nose tingeing a soft, endearing pink. Kit let his hand waver in the air for a few seconds before dropping it nervously. He looked away so Ty wouldn't see how red he must have been turning.
"We're supposed to be keeping watch," Kit said. He heard the ever-so-slight shake in Ty's exhale, but he didn't look away from Kit.
"Last night you said it was best I forget what you said to me. That we can just be friends," Ty continued. Kit shut his eyes, squeezing until it hurt.
"But you aren't acting like how you used to when we were friends. Are we still friends, Kit?" Agony sheathed Kit like a blade, and he forced himself to look at Ty. Beautiful, wonderful Ty, who must be so confused by Kit and his contradictory words and actions. The last thing he wanted was to stress Ty out with his own confusing emotions, but he couldn't ignore the pleading look in his eyes, and he refused to lie to him.
"I-I don't know," he said, and Ty's breath hitched. Ty shuffled a little closer, so their shoulders were just barely touching. His hands were shaking, so Kit lifted his own over them, hesitantly letting them hover, just to make sure he was allowed to. When Ty didn't move, Kit placed his hands softly over Ty's, applying enough pressure to halt the trembling. Kit watched, a little entranced, as Ty fiddled with his fingers, pulling each one gently, running his fingers along the lines of Kit's palm. It was an oddly intimate thing for the both of them and for a brief moment, Kit forgot he was supposed to be mad at Ty.
"Look," Kit began. "I don't want to go back on what I said to you at the lake because then I would be lying to you. You know how I feel, and you made your feelings clear–" Ty opened his mouth to speak but Kit cut him off quickly, not wanting to lose his nerve.
"But I don't want you to feel like I'm expecting some sort of confession from you, 'cus I'm not. But I don't know how I'm supposed to continue being around you, knowing I don't mean anything to you. It might actually kill me, Ty. To have to see you everyday around the Institute, to sit next to you at breakfast, to train with you, knowing you don't care. You're the only reason I stayed at the Institute in the first place, and if I can't be around you, then there isn't any point in my staying." His grip on Ty's hands had tightened so much his knuckles had turned white. Ty hadn't pulled away though. He looked as though he was trying to digest everything Kit had said, and Kit instantly felt like an idiot. He released Ty's hands, which were marked white where Kit's fingers had dug in.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Kit had the intense urge to chuck himself down the hill. Maybe he'll land on someone's blade.
"There are a lot of... feelings, swirling around in my head, and I'm not sure what to do with them," Ty said honestly. He looked as stressed as Kit felt, which only served to make Kit regret ever opening his mouth.
"You could tell me what they are. Take some of the pressure off." Kit wasn't sure whether anything he had said had actually sunk in for Ty, but he chose to push his own emotions to the side in order to help Ty unpack his.
"Okay... I feel confused. Confused why you think I don't care about you? I know I'm not very good at... expressing my emotions, but I thought you knew. I really did." Ty's voice rose an octave like he was desperate for Kit to understand.
"I tried to show you–through my actions. Like, I like to hold your hands and play with them. Um, and I involve you in my mystery-solving. You're my Watson, and there's only one Watson. I'm sorry you thought I didn't care about you. Do you want me to tell you upfront how I feel about you in the future?" Kit laughed despite himself at Ty's overly formal tone.
"Only if you're comfortable doing that," Kit replied. Ty smiled at him like a weight had been lifted. Kit tapped him gently on his temple.
"Do you feel better?"
Ty nodded. They were quiet for a moment, but there was no longer any tension in the air.
"Do you really not let anyone touch you?" Kit asked curiously.
"I let Julian and Mark hug me and ruffle my hair. I let Emma give me high-fives. I let Livvy put runes on me. I let you hold my hands, hug me, brush the hair out of my eyes, rub my arms. Normally that kind of stuff makes my skin itch because it's too... close. Intimate," the word made Kit shiver. "But it's alright when it's you. I feel safe around you. And that makes me happy, but it also confuses me. Am I supposed to feel like that about you but not Julian? Should I feel like this when I hug him, or Mark, or Dru? There are entirely too many different emotions for different people," Ty said with a smile, an attempt to make light of the situation. It was at this moment Kit had forgotten every possible reason he was supposed to be mad at Ty, replaced with the sudden, surprising urge to kiss him. It pulsed through his entire body like a heartbeat, and he had to force his eyes up from Ty's lips to look at him anywhere else. Ty's eyes were wide with something Kit couldn't identify. Their faces were inches apart. Kit felt almost drunk on his strange new desire, and Ty looked... scared? Apprehensive? Kit had no idea. He wanted to ask Ty to tell him what he was feeling, but there was so much running through his own mind. He had wanted to kiss Ty for a long, long time, but this was the first time he had actually been able to acknowledge it.
"Kit..." Ty breathed, his breath tickling Kit's lips. "I think I'm going to–"
The bushes rustled suddenly a few feet from their nook. A twig snapped and both Kit and Ty shot to attention. Silence descended back upon them as Magnus appeared from the dense shrubbery Kit exhaled in relief and slumped back down. Ty, however, remained stood up, stiff as a board, as if he didn't quite trust Magnus.
"Christopher, Tiberius. Staying out of trouble I hope," Magnus greeted them jovially. When Ty didn't move, Kit looked at him worriedly. Magnus caught onto the look, naturally, and winked. Ty noticed the wink, and that seemed to shake him out of whatever trance he had been in.
"What's going on, Magnus?" Ty demanded. Blue sparks flickered from Magnus' fingers. Kit stood up hurriedly, ready to shield Ty.
"I'm truly sorry about this. Julian wanted to be safe." He clicked his fingers and an unseen force pushed Kit back onto the ground. He heard Ty hit the tree with a thud. Sparking blue chains materialised around Kit's ankles and wrists. He swore at Magnus in alarm.
"What are you doing?" Kit shouted. Magnus looked genuinely remorseful. Not that it eased being chained to a tree.
"Think of it this way, you can spend some quality time with that one." He stuck his thumb at Ty, who was seething with rage. Magnus practically strutted away, leaving them bound to the tree. Kit tried to crawl over to Ty, who was struggling against the manacles frantically, panic setting in. Kit accidentally brushed his hand over the chain at his ankle, and a bolt of electricity shot through him, sending him onto his back.
"Kit!" he heard Ty shout. Kit stuck his thumb in the air.
"I'm alright!" He said. Ty grunted.
"Yeah, well I'm not. I can't believe Julian would let Magnus tie us up like this. Now we're useless."
"Julian doesn't want you hurt. He knows we would have found a way down there if we weren't trapped here in some way."
"We can look after ourselves in a fight, Kit. We've been in fights before and we handled ourselves fine," Ty grumbled.
"You may have done, but I've had basically no training. If an actual fight broke out, I'd be dead weight," Kit said. Ty cocked his head to the side.
"I can look after both of us," Ty said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Because of course, Ty would protect Kit, even if it came at a detriment to himself.
"I wouldn't want to put you in a situation where you had to keep me alive as well as yourself. We both know how well you fight, and I'm not even in gear. Plus the only weapon I own is the dagger Jace gave me. Even if we managed to escape, I wouldn't last long." Kit spoke from the heart; he was a poor excuse for a Shadowhunter. The name Herondale came with so many expectations, none of which he would ever be able to live up to.
"No," Ty said sharply. "I would protect you. I would not let you get hurt," His voice was harsh, almost angry, and it made Kit do a double take. Ty was looking at him fiercely, like the idea of not being able to protect Kit was something on par with the kicking of a puppy.
"You won't even have the chance to protect me, because we are never getting out of these chains."
As soon as the words had left Kit's mouth, the sky illuminated bright white, like a thousand stars lit up the pale blue sky. A gasp escaped Ty's mouth and Kit watched in awe as Livvy's ghost floated down from the heavens. She stopped short of them and grimaced down at the chains.
"Livvy," Ty gasped. She knelt down by Ty's feet.
"I came to free you of Magnus' magic," ghost Livvy replied. Kit attempted a shuffle closer to get a better look at her face. She noticed the movement and turned, examining him with disinterest.
"I forgot you could see ghosts, Herondale." Her tone was cold, and the living Livvy would have called him Kit.
She reached down and pressed her hand to the chains connecting Ty's ankles and wrists. They vanished without a trace. She did the same to Kit without taking her eyes off Ty. Kit didn't exist to her at that moment. He stood up and brushed himself off.
"Your family are on the imperishable fields. You need to go, be by their side. They need you," Livvy's voice was soft. Ty's eyes shone with tears.
"Thank you," he whispered. Livvy smiled and vanished. Not even a plume of smoke or a spark of white to let them know she had been there at all. Ty stood up quickly.
"You were saying?" He said, his voice gruff. Kit could see he was trying to recompose himself after seeing his dead sister for the second time in a span of twenty-four hours. Kit couldn't begin to imagine what it was like to have to lose Livvy all over again. Kit walked over to him, and the two of them looked over the hill. He gently rested his hand on Ty's shoulder. He turned around, a dark hair curled over his eye. He made no attempt to move it, despite the fact that it must have been bothering him.
"Look down there. They're fighting." Ty moved out of the way and Kit peered across the field. Both parties were engaged in a battle that shouldn't be happening. Kit could pick out Julian fighting back to back with Emma. Jace was brandishing his sword proudly, his golden hair a halo around his head. Kit couldn't tell whether they were winning against the Clave; everything was a blur of black armour. Shadowhunters fighting Shadowhunters...
"What's that?" Kit pointed to the trees, shaking violently. A few people on the field noticed and called out in alarm, retreating. Behind the trees, at least a hundred grey and brown wolves appeared. Behind them, four vampires stepped out, their respective clans behind them, hidden in the shadows. Magnus stepped out from between wolf and vampire, his dark blue cape flowing elegantly behind him. He commanded the attention of the whole battlefield. He raised his hands, palms upwards, fingers sparking. The entire sky darkened. He flicked his wrist, and right blue stars illuminated the black sky. As soon as he dropped his hands, the Downworlders spilt out onto the field. The battle commenced tenfold. Kit whipped his head around to Ty.
"Do you think they need our help?" He asked, half hoping he wouldn't have to go down there. "What if one of the vampires thinks we're with the other side? I don't fancy being ripped apart by someone's teeth."
Ty gave him a stern look. "They know who they're fighting for and against. And you're not getting ripped apart. Look, we'll climb the tree, it'll be the best vantage point. We can find where the fighting is at its weakest." Kit nodded and watched Ty climb gracefully up the oak tree, sitting himself on the highest branch. He beckoned Kit up. Kit had scaled a fair few buildings during his thieving days, so climbing a tree wasn't particularly hard for him, but he didn't look nearly as graceful as Ty had done.
He made it to the same branch Ty had perched on, plonking down next to him as he surveyed the scene.
"Oh, shit, this branch is gonna do terrible things to my back," Kit complained. Ty didn't deign that with a response, looking over at him with a carefully placed expression that gave nothing away.
"What're you thinking?" Kit asked.
"I'm thinking that I know you're hesitant to go down there. I know that I want to go down and help. I don't want to feel helpless, but I don't want to leave you on your own," Ty explained.
"Because I'm a hopeless mess of a Shadowhunter?" Kit said, mostly as a joke, but Ty looked at him completely seriously.
"That's not what I meant, Kit."
Kit softened. "I know, Ty."
A harsh wind settled over them, followed by the distant thundering of hooves. Kit grabbed Ty's shoulders and pulled him closer to his side, away from the edge of the branch.
"What's that?" Kit hissed. Ty pressed a finger to his lips and pointed up at the sky.
The riders of Mannan.