Chapter 32 (Ava)
“I hear Dumbledore’s away again.”
I glanced up at Neville as we walked down the corridor towards the library. We had been given Defence Against the Dark Arts homework a few days before and had agreed to do it together. We had decided it wouldn’t take quite as long if we worked together on it.
“Really?” I replied, “Why do you think that is?”
Neville shrugged his shoulders,
“Absolutely no idea, Ava. It’s a bit weird if I’m honest. The Daily Prophet will be all over Hogwarts if they find out that he keeps disappearing. Then the Ministry will have to send someone in again…”
“They better not.” I muttered.
When I looked back up at Neville, my vision blurred and the corridor seemed to spin around me for a moment.
I lost my balance and Neville grabbed onto my arms,
“Whoa! Ava, what’s the matter?”
I held my hand up in front of my face and shook my head in confusion as I watched five fingers turn into ten.
“I should take you to Madam Pomfrey-”
I tried to stand up again,
“There is no need for that, Neville Longbottom! I will be absolutely fi-”
I swayed backwards and Neville caught me,
“Ava, what lesson did you just have?”
“Potions!” My words were becoming slurred, “I had Potions, I did… and we made the Draught of Living Death.”
Neville’s grip on me tightened,
“Did you drink any? Ava?”
I shook my head,
“No, no- but I overcooked it and these fumes came out of my cauldron. I think I might have inhaled too much-”
It was then that my body finally went limp in Neville’s arms and my eyelids fluttered shut.
* * *
“I’ve got you, Ava. I’ve got you.”
My eyes opened slowly at the sound of a familiar voice. I swallowed, trying to get rid of the unsavoury flavour in my mouth,
A face loomed over me and I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to oppress the scream that rose from within.
“Ava, don’t panic, please don’t panic. You’re not dead, you’re not dead. Neither am I alive.”
I tried to control my breathing, but it was hard when I could see his face above me, his black hair hanging down by his ears, his warm, familiar, comforting face the mask of concern.
“Please calm down, Ava. You are not dead, I promise. I’m not alive though. We’re meeting in-between.”
Slowly, I pushed myself up to standing position, my eyes still fixed on the man in front of me.
My godfather.
“Sirius.” I whispered as I ran into him, knocking him back with the impact. I wrapped my arms around him and started to sob into his t-shirt.
“Ava, you’ve been so brave. Do you know that? Facing everything you’ve faced alone.”
I pulled away and took in my surroundings. The place we were standing in- it was completely white. I couldn’t tell the ceiling from the sky. It was all the same colour.
Sirius placed his hands on my cheeks. I shook my head,
“I haven’t been brave, Sirius. I’ve been cowardly. I could have saved your life, and I wasn’t there because I wasn’t sure whether or not to help-”
“Ava.” Sirius’ voice was firm, “Ava, you will not blame yourself for my death. If you’d have been there, it could have been you that would have died instead. Then what would have happened? Harry would have been grieving for the sister that he didn’t get to know-”
“But Harry doesn’t really know me any more than he did! I’m keeping secrets from him that he deserves to know!” I tried to look down at the floor, but Sirius kept his grip on my face firm.
“You shouldn’t punish yourself for my death. Nor should you punish yourself for the choices you have made. Lord Voldemort was too cruel to you- to choose between Fred and Harry’s life. What could you do?”
I gulped,
“But I never-”
Sirius cut me off,
“Ssh. I know. Don’t do this to yourself. Not now, Ava.”
I stayed silent, lost for words. How was I here? In amongst the shock of seeing Sirius, I had forgotten to ask how I had gotten here.
“What happened? How am I here?”
Sirius finally pulled his hands away from my face,
“Do you not remember? You inhaled the fumes from the Draught of Living Death. You burnt it in the lesson and smoke was pouring out of the cauldron. Professor Slughorn was a bit distracted and didn’t realise- probably thought that you were doing just fine. It had an adverse effect on you and put you to sleep just as taking the potion would do.”
Images of Neville catching me and promising to take me to the Hospital Wing filled my mind and I nodded, finally understanding.
“I’m in a death-like sleep?”
Sirius nodded his head slowly. After a moment, he sighed,
“We’ve been watching you- James, Lily and I. Not all the time, but when we know you’re in a bad situation, we come to see you. Harry too, of course. I just wish that I could help you somehow, protect you from the grief you’ve been getting.”
I sniffed and wiped my nose as Sirius carried on.
“But you’ve started to do better. You went to Fred and George. You’ve become friends with Neville, and you’re talking to Harry, Ron and Hermione more often. Ginny too.”
I didn’t speak the thought that was whirling around my mind. I still feel alone.
Instead, I nudged him,
“Remember when I couldn’t pronounce your name? I had to call you Padfoot instead.”
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips,
“Remember how, when we played catch with your dad, he would throw the ball as fast as he could so that I had to sprint after the ball, my tongue hanging out and panting like mad?”
I laughed,
“I sat on your back and you ran all over the park with me right there. We must have looked a sight.”
“It’s not like I was human at that point.” Sirius grinned, “I was a dog, so it must have looked perfectly normal.”
I turned to my godfather suddenly and took his hand,
“Did you have to choose who would come to see me? Between you, mum or dad?”
He looked away and nodded,
“They told me to go. I kept telling James to, but he wouldn’t listen. Both he and Lily said that I was the one you were grieving over the most. Don’t get me wrong, they would have wanted to see you more than anything in the world. But only one of us could go.”
“Tell them that I love them, would you? Please?”
Sirius squeezed my hand,
“Of course.”
I started to respond, but a wave of dizziness passed over me, causing my body to sway to the side. I gasped,
“No- I can’t leave yet. I want to talk to you, to tell you-”
Sirius held onto my arm,
“Ava, I heard every single thing you’ve said to me over the past year. Whenever you whisper your name, I hear you.”
“But- but I need your advice. What do I do about my mission? About Harry?”
Sirius smiled and stroked my hair,
“Keep doing what you have been doing. Be brave.”
I started to fall to the floor, and I couldn’t stop the flow of tears from my eyes,
“Am I ever going to see you again?”
“If I’m lucky,” my godfather whispered, “I won’t see you for a very long time.”
He pressed his lips to my forehead as I spoke softly,
“I’m so sorry that you had to die, Sirius. Things would be so different if you hadn’t.”
And then, as I had drifted into a death-like sleep, I returned to the world of the living, my eyes fluttering closed.
* * *
When I first awoke, I couldn’t open my eyes. All I could see was darkness ahead of me- a contrast to the white area I had been in with Sirius.
“Madame Pomfrey, could you remind me what it was that happened? I don’t quite understand.”
I recognised Harry’s voice instantly, and waited for the response.
“Your sister burnt her Draught of Living Death potion and inhaled the fumes. I don’t know why she has been asleep for so long though. Drinking the potion is supposed to put you in a death-like sleep, but inhaling the fumes? It’s not common. It seems as if someone has been keeping her asleep, although I don’t quite know who.”
Sirius, I thought.
My eyelids started to open, and I blinked furiously as the blinding light hit my eyes. I coughed and sat up, my head pounding.
“Ava?”
I turned to look at Harry sitting beside my bed and opened my mouth to tell him about seeing Sirius- but I stopped. I felt guilty for having been able to see him when Harry could not. Maybe it was better to keep it to myself than to share the encounter.
I shook my thoughts away and cleared my throat,
“Harry! How long have I been asleep for?”
Madame Pomfrey answered for him,
“About two days, Miss. Potter. It’s a relief to see you awake after such a reaction from inhaling the fumes of the potion.”
“How did I get here?” I asked.
“Mr. Longbottom took you here the moment you fell asleep. He’s visited a few times over the past couple of days to see if you were awake.”
I twirled the golden snitch necklace I was wearing around in my fingers. I couldn’t remember when I’d started to wear my necklace again- possibly shortly after I had started to sit with Harry, Ron and Hermione more often. It had been a gift for Christmas from Harry the year before.
“When will I be able to leave?” I inquired quietly.
“A few hours yet, Miss. Potter.” Madame Pomfrey replied, “You still need to rest.”
I turned to Harry,
“You don’t have to sit with me if you don’t want to. If you’d rather do something else, it’s fine. I’ll probably be asleep anyway.”
My brother smiled, his green eyes twinkling in the light,
“I can keep you company.”