"You're joking right? Because it's not funny." I said.
But all Axel did was stare at me.
No words.
Nothing.
And just like that, my body felt limp.
I looked at his eyes searching for answers but even they were quiet. "Why?" I blurted. "What did I do? I thought we were happy, Axel." I asked.
Axel takes a deep sigh. "I'm sorry, Violet." He said, standing up.
"You're just going to leave like that? As if nothing happened?" I said.
But he rushed to the door, leaving me behind. "Axel!" I shouted.
People were now starting to take notice of the two of us. But Axel went out with no word or anything.
I followed him, not knowing if I should. But I should because I need some answers. I need him to tell me the reason why he's breaking up with me.
I know he's going away but I don't find it an excuse to end whatever this is that we have! I don't care if I beg, because sometimes we need to. That sometimes is now. "Axel!" I called out.
But when I got out, he was already standing by his vehicle. "Tell me why, Axel. You can't just leave me like this." I said. "Is it me? Did I do something? Did I say something? Did I not make you happy?" I asked. These many questions from a girl on the sidewalk. "I don't understand." I whimpered, forcing myself not to cry.
"It's not you, Vi--" He said but I cut him off.
"Don't play that bullshit Axel! This is not a movie! You can't give me that! I just don't understand why we have to do this!" I shouted. "Tell me the truth." I said, looking at him. Only him.
"Because I know that one day you'll realize that you no longer feel the same way for me!" He shouted back, pain in his words. "I'm leaving for California after tomorrow, Violet. I don't know when I'll be back." He said, looking at me.
A tear fell down my eye as I shook my head in disbelief. "Then I'll wait for you!" I said, taking a step towards him. "I don't care if it'll take you months, I don't care if it'll take you years. Just... please... don't do this."
"I'm sorry, Violet." He said as he slid up to his motorcyle.
I clutched on to him, in fear of losing him as the pain of the thought cloud my mind. "Axel... Please! Axel!" I begged. "I love you! Please don't do this to me! Axel!"
He doesn't mind my whimpers, his stern, stoic expression masking his face. He starts the motorcycle and I found myself kneeling on the hard, pebbled sidewalk. "No! No! Axel! I love you. I love you so much!" I begged one more time but I fell, with my hands keeping me from completely colliding with the ground as he drove away. It was as if a nuclear bomb had been dropped on me and I was left broken and in pieces.
No answers.
No explanations.
Axel just left.
And it hurts.
My head hurts.
My heart hurts.
And at this point, everything hurts. And everything seems dark as if nothing has become the only thing that I see.
And alas, I indeed fell to the ground.
I heard muffled voices surround me, calling for help. And as much as I don't want everyone to worry, I was too late.
The last thing I heard was Kristine's voice. "Call an ambulance!" She said.
○○○
I woke up in a hospital room, Aunt Mary's voice coming through the door, talking to a woman who I believed was a doctor.
I felt a gush of uneasiness enter my body as I remembered what had happened at the restaurant.
I'm breaking up with you.
Five words.
All it took for him to hurt me is five words.
And he left.
Even when he promised me that he'd never hurt me, he did.
"Violet." Aunt Mary's voice resonated in my ear. She came in the room with the doctor and she looked at me disappointedly. "The doctor... she... uhm... she has something to say." She said, allowing the doctor to step forward.
The doctor stood by the foot pf the bed with her hands on her pockets. "Hi, Violet. I am Dr. Linda Salvatore and there's something you need to know." She said.
I looked at Aunt Mary who had her head tilted down, then back to the doctor. "What is it?"
"Violet..." She started. "You are seven weeks pregnant."
My breathing became heavy. "W-what? That can't be..." I replied, unable to process what she had said.
"I know you are in shock but there are some things that you need to consider." The doctor said.
My eyes trailed back to Aunt Mary for some sort of support, but she was already looking away.
"The fetus is vulnerable to damage at this time of your pregnancy. That is why you should avoid anything that may harm your baby which includes getting stressed. The reason why you passed out was because there was a very high stress level which may have affected your baby." She explained. "That is why I advice you to rest for about four days to a week just so we could focus on the health of the baby. It is still growing rapidly and it needs all the protection it can get."
Ever got that feeling where you want to cry your eyes out but you can't? That's what I feel now.
Emotions are gushing through me but I can't seem to let it out. Maybe it's the doctor or Aunt Mary's presence.
Or just maybe, if I stop lying to myself, it's the aftermath of what had happened at the restaurant. Maybe this is what comes after the storm that I call Axel.
Plus.... the baby.
I have a baby.
Correction: Axel's baby.
And that's the sad part because Axel did leave, but he also left a part of his life with me.
To be honest, I don't even know if I want it.
How could I keep something that reminds me of the person who hurt me?
How could I care for something that belongs to the man I once cared for? I still care for.
"Violet? Are you okay?" The doctor asked, snapping me back to reality. "This is serious. Your baby could die." She said.
I took a deep sigh. "I want to go home." I said, blankly.
The doctor retreated to a forced relaxed pose, nodding in surrender. She looks to Aunt Mary and both of them decided to go out.
And not once did Aunt Mary looked at me.
○○○
The ride home was silent. Too silent. Eerily silent.
It was as if hundreds of elephants were also in the truck.
I want to talk to Aunt Mary but I'm too exhausted and drained.
She hasn't really spoken to me since we were in the hospital and it's killing me.
I'm not really surprised, though. I wouldn't if I were her. I'm such a mess, a disgrace, stubborn! Name it and I'm that.
I got out as soon as we arrived and immediately went up to my bedroom. I locked the door behind me and laid down on my bed.
The ceiling was pretty... empty.
The lights were incredible... -y dull.
Everything seemed out of place and it pains me.
There was a sudden click on the window which made me look immediately, hoping that somethin or someone was there.
But no. Nothing.
And as I lay in bed I wonder: Am I not enough?
I know it's a bit too cliché to even think such a thing but you will never truly understand if you don't experience it.
All those movies, those tragic love stories, I thought they were just silly and irrational.
But I was wrong.
Pain is inevitable and it can come from anyone-----even from the person you least expect.
Unconsciously, tears started falling as Axel's face flashed through my mind like a power point presentation in class that you don't want to focus on but have no choice because deep down, it's important. Weird, I know. But that's how it feels. That's what's going on inside my head.
It's pathetic to even think about all this.
Is he thinking about me?
Does he feel the pain I am feeling right now?
He doesn't even know that his child is inside me.
Does he feel guilty?
So many questions...
Nobody to answer them...
That's the reality I must accept.
●●●
Finally! An update!
So, last night, I accidentally published this chapter and I know some of you were skeptical because you can't see it. Well, I unpublished it because it was still unfinished.
Hopefully nobody had read it until now.
But, yeah, THANK YOU FOR READING!
Thank you for your comments as well! I love reading them. So keep em coming!
Anyways, I apologize for the long wait. I was just a bit too busy this week that I haven't jad the time to actually sit and think about what's going to happen with this chapter. But yeah, NOW YOU KNOW!
How did you feel?
Drop some comments down below! 😚😚😚😚😚