"When I look at you I see forgiveness I see the truth You love me for who I am Like the stars hold the moon Right there where they belong And I know I'm not alone..."
~ Miley Cyrus
...♛...
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if my mother had chosen to abort me.
Would I never be born? Would Alice have had a better life without me? Maybe Vincent wouldn't be as bitter as he is.
All together, would the live's of the others be improved without mine?
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Alec pops his head in from the door. I turn my attention towards him as his body appears and makes its way over to me.
"I'm feeling great," I smile. "I still don't get why I've been put on complete bed rest."
"Well, let's go over the events of the past few days, shall we? So, almost everyday you wake up feeling nauseous, you either eat tons or nothing at all, you have random episodes of dizziness and you've been lacking in the sleep department."
"And that proves what?" I query. Everything he listed is true, but being put on complete bed rest doesn't seem justified to me. Yeah, I've been off lately because of health issues, but it's probably side effects of having water in my lungs.
"You piece the puzzle together. And don't worry, you have plenty of time before Kai comes for a visit."
"What? Why is he coming? And piece what together? Can you stop playing riddles with me?" Alec's sparkling teeth display themselves as his lips stretch on a smile.
"You're so naive sometimes," he chuckles getting up. His fingers curl around the insides of his jacket pulling it around him properly as he heads towards the door.
"You can't just leave without telling me anything, Alec," he doesn't stop. Instead, his shoulders bounce in amusement. "I find nothing humorous in this situation!"
After the door closes, it's followed by a slight click. I can't believe they've locked me inside a room.
Heavily sighing, I cross my arms over my chest annoyed by his behaviour.
What is their problem? One second they're torturing me, making me bleed and beg for mercy while the other, they're saving my life and locking me in a room because I need to take care of myself.
What changed from then and now?
I almost died.
But that's not new. I almost died multiple times, mostly because of them, but they've never treated me like this.
I'm so fucking confused and I'm always one step ahead of them. Maybe it's just a phase they're going through. It'll be over soon, hopefully. I mean, I get bored staying in this room. Yes, I hate baiting and killing people, but I'm craving the the adrenaline rush I get from all of that. It's built into my system. I can feel the same rush by other means, but I can't when I'm hauled up in a small bedroom that's not even mine. Apparently Kai doesn't want me going in my own room because Nick could have left a bug or something dangerous that cannot be spotted.
I let go of any thoughts by grabbing the remote and shuffling through Netflix to find a good movie. Eventually, I decide on watching Friends with Benefits. Trust me when I say, I'm not into Valentine's, but considering it's been almost eighteen years, I can learn to loosen up and get in the spirit of it.
In fourteen days, it'll be eighteen years of my life and eighteen years since the death of my mother, Hope White. Just like her name, that's what she has given me, hope. Even without being here, she's given me more hope than anyone else ever has. She's the only reason why I fight for what I believe in and what I want. Whether that's deemed right or wrong in the eyes of others, I do what I know in the end will be best for the majority of people.
I zone out of my thoughts and focus on the movie. Not even realizing the amount of exhaustion I'm feeling, I close my eyes just for a few seconds.
What feels like a couple of minutes later, I wake up to the sound of a soft knock on the door. My hand shoot up to the corner of my lip wiping away the drool.
My eyes adjusting to the light, flutter before staying open. I tilt my head and watch as Kai appears in the door frame.
I haven't seen Kai since our conversation in the kitchen. He doesn't seem different, just worn out and tired. Maybe not sleeping together has the same effect on him as it does on me.
"Sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping," he apologizes sincerely. My eyebrows rise in
confusion.
"Why is Kai Black apologizing? Did the bullet hit a brain cell or something?"
"To my luck, no," he responds lightly.
"Responding to my sarcasm with sarcasm... so you're either about to drop some bad news or some really bad news."
"Well, why don't you get ready? You could use some air and we'll talk, there's somewhere we need to go," he suggests.
"Okay?" I reply perplexed. Why is he being nice? He's acting as if what he's going to tell me, is going to be the worse thing I'll ever hear.
I climb off the bed and head over to the closet where I pick out a pair of sweats and a hoodie. At the back of my head, I can feel Kai's gaze. It's not heated, but concerned. I turn around and immediately, his head turns to the opposite direction of the room.
"I'll meet you downstairs," I say. He nods and heads back down.
After he leaves, I head to the bathroom to freshen up. Once I'm done, I head downstairs to find Kai waiting on the couch. At the end of the stairs, I stand silently looking at him. His hair longer than usual is in need of a hair cut and his stiff shoulders, need to loosen up.
Why is he so on edge? The more I think about the answer to my question, the more anxious I become. That question can have endless amount of answers and all of them seem unsatisfying.
I clear my throat to catch his attention and he gets up turning around. His eyes widen as if he should've known I was standing there. To be honest, he should have. He's always aware of his surrounding's, but today, he – what is on his mind?
"Ready?"
"Yeah," I breathe out. He gives me a small smile heading to the underground parking.
Silently, I follow him.
Since Kai's car was consumed by flames, he decided that it would only be fair if he got to use mine. Considering that they were the exact same, I complied with his decision especially when I'm the reason why he doesn't have his old car anymore.
We climb into the car and Kai starts the engine. Awkward silence fills the air as the car passes through the slushy snow. The more time I spend in the car, the stronger his musk cologne gets. The smell has been out of my senses for so long, it almost feels like I'm smelling his scent for the first time again. A strong musky odour almost like alcohol; intoxicating, but still satisfying.
Distracting myself from the useless thoughts, my eyes stray out to the barren lands buried under snow. Winter is my favourite season. Not only because of the white blanket it covers everything with, but the warmth it brings with it. People say winter is cold, but I like to believe otherwise. If winter never came, you wouldn't get to feel the warmth of your house and the fire in the chimney. How else would someone appreciate the warmth of the sun if they've never felt the numbing texture of snow or even the wind?
"Summer?" Kai breaks my thoughts. My head turns his way, but his stays glued to the front. "I know I'm cruel and demeaning, any insult you could ever come up with defines me, but I need you to hear me out. I need you to think about what you want to do before you go through with anything. Promise me that."
"I promise," I reply without much thought. I'm just eager to know what he's about to tell me and don't want to delay the process any further.
"Tw-" Kai starts, but is cut off from the ring of his phone. With one hand on the wheel, he scoops out his phone from the inside of his jacket's pocket.
"Lucy? ... ¿Estás bien? ¿Qué estas diciendo? Lucy, cálmate y dime lo que pasó?" he speaks with a thick accent. As he listens to the voice on the other end, his face hardens.
"Qué, ¿dónde estás ahora? De acuerdo, ya voy. Sólo espera, el amor," he ends the call. Wrinkles display on his forehead as he furrows his eyebrows in rage. His jaw tightens defining what I thought couldn't look any sharper.
"Summer there's something else I need to tell you before I tell you the real reason I brought you out today," Kai acknowledges. I bite down on my bottom lip anxiously waiting for him to carry on.
"I - I didn't start this empire I've built alone. Yes, Cole and Alec were with me from the start, but there's also someone else who was there even before I wanted to built it and that's my best friend Lucy. Thing's happened so she withdrew herself from our new lifestyle and decided to stay on the sidelines. We kept in touch, met up and she always guided me through anything I needed help with. Even with you, she helped me a lot," he takes a dramatic pause and sighs.
"Before you even showed up, Lucy and I thought that our friendship was more than just a friendship. We tried somethings, but we learned that we're just meant to be friends and nothing more. After we decided to end things, we found out that Lucy is pregnant with my child. I told her that whatever she chooses to do, I'll support her in every way possible. She kept the child. You probably noticed that Cole never stays home? That's because I send him off to be with Lucy. I couldn't be with her during her pregnancy because it's too much of a risk and what happened today proves it," his voice deepens with pain. His bottom lip disappears underneath his top teeth.
"Who was on the phone, Kai?" I ask.
Something's wrong, I can feel it in his voice and I can see it on his face. His eyes darken as he processes his words.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
"Nick found Lucy."
"K-" before I can even say anything, the car comes to a jolting stop. I look to my right and find ourselves parked outside a small inn.
I turn around to face Kai, but only find an empty seat. Following behind him, I exit the car and head inside the inn.
"Kai. what are we doing here?" I ask as he walks down random halls. He comes to a stop while looking down at the bottom of one of the doors.
Blood.
I instantly quiet down. Kai's hand wraps around the knob. Hesitantly, he twists the knob allowing the door to open. We enter the room. Following a trail of blood, we end up in a bedroom.
"Lucy?" Kai speaks.
He rushes inside, clearing up the view for me.
On the bed, lays a girl around my age. Her long, dark locks and her skin that can be roughly described as albino, resembles what I would interpret Snow White to look like. Though her beauty is magnificent, the blood staining her dress brings me back to reality.
Their hands intertwine, Lucy speaks first.
"Kai, por favor salvar nuestro bebé," she cries. Her voice full of agony.
"Luce-"
"¡No! Kai, este bebé tiene que vivir. Ah!" she screams in pain.
"She's going into labour," Kai words looking at me. "We have to deliver the baby, Summer. I can't do this alone. Please, help me."
For the first time ever, I see helplessness in his eyes. Call me cruel, but it's warming. A part of me wants to see him suffer, but I know better.
"I-I don't know how to deliver a baby," I finally build up the courage to walk further inside the room.
"Well good thing I'm the one pushing then," Lucy breathes. She lets out a snicker before she starts to push. I lift up her dress to get a better view.
"Th-there's too much blood, you – you need to push harder," I stutter nervously.
She stops. Her breathing heavy, it's clear she's using every ounce of energy she has left.
"Para nosotros, el amor. Para nuestro bebé," Kai encourages her in a foreign language. Kai looks back at me and nods.
"Okay, three... two... one," I count down. This time she uses all her energy and the head of the baby comes insight. I pull the baby out and its cries invade the room.
Noticing the umbilical cord, I cut it off using the pocket knife I carry with me and enclose the bit still on the baby using a bobby pin from my hair.
It's not sanitary, but it'll have to do.
The miniature being in my hands looks horrific covered in blood and amniotic fluid. Crying in my hands, I look over its body recognizing it's gender.
"It's a boy," I determine walking over to Lucy and handing her the baby. Through the glands of sweat on her face, she displays a hallow smile. Tears wash down her face.
"Nuestro chico," she smiles meeting eyes with Kai. Her eyes display nothing, but pure love for him. She loves him - she loves a monster and now is paying the price for it, yet there is no pain on her face. Just hope.
She realizes my presence and flashes me a smile.
"Thank you," she breathes. Her eyes well with tears, "I-I want a promise Kai. Our boy will have it better, promise me that. Okay? That he won't suffer as much as we did, that he'll have it better than us."
"Of course, Lucy. And you'll be here to make sure of it," he lies. His glazed eyes proof of his fake hope.
"It's rude to lie to a dying person, Kai," Lucy lets out a small laugh. Lucy looks at her child and lands a small kiss on its forehead before her body gives in. Shakily, I take the baby out of her hands.
"Luce," Kai tightens his grip on her hand. He brings her hand up to his lips as his face reddens with sorrow. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. You deserved so much better."
...♛...
"You don't have to lie to me anymore, father. I know mom's never coming back," I say half-heartedly. "Vincent told me she died because of me."
"No, Summer. She didn't die because of you," father refutes. "She died for you."
"But if I wasn't here, then she would still be alive."
"Let me tell you a story, Summer. When we found out that we were having you, we were ecstatic. The doctor told us there would be complications, but your mom decided that she would never harm an innocent life. She designed your room, bought tons of clothes, and even planned out your future far away from here - a place better than this, but when the time came, her body couldn't handle it. The day she gave birth to you, I was right next to her and I promise you there wasn't a single sign of regret on her face. Even through the pain, she held a glowing smile. The instant she saw you, it grew even bigger. If you're mom was here today, she'd say only one thing; we named you Summer because unlike the season, you're name won't change depending on the time of year. When fall comes around, let the colours of your leaves change, but never let them fall during winter. They're the only things that'll keep you warm."
"Daddy, I'm not a tree," I giggle.
"Mea infantem puella when you get older, you'll under," he kisses my forehead.
"Bonum nocte, pater."
"Dormire bene, mea puella," he says getting up from my bed. I watch as he leaves me in the darkness of my room.
...♛...
The cries of the baby in my hand bring me back to reality. I look down at him. His little body weighs no more than six pounds.
Through teary eyes, I try to rock him to calm him down, but he doesn't have it. His cries continue to echo in the room like he knows he'll never see his mother again.
I walk into the room's bathroom and grab a towel off the rack. Wrapping the towel around the baby, I quickly go back into the room where Kai is.
"Kai," I whisper. He sits next to her body maybe in hope that she'll wake up. "We have to go."
In response, he silently bobs his head brushing off his tears using the back of his hand. He gets up staring at her with mountains of pain clouding his grey orbs.
"We have to go," I put my hand on his arm as support. Without tearing his eyes off Lucy, he pushes my hand off of him.
"I know," he says. I give him a small smile before turning around to leave. When I hear no footsteps following, I turn back around. Before I can even react, I watch as the lighter falls letting the flame catch onto Lucy's dress.
"Kai," I breathe in shock. He says nothing. Instead, he walks past me and I'm forced to follow in his footsteps.
We make it down as fast as we can and head to our car. Kai looks up at the building where black smoke can be indicated coming out from the window. "I wasn't going to let Nick find her in that state. She deserves peace."
With the baby still crying, I sit down on the passenger seat. Kai takes his seat and starts driving seconds later. The baby on my lap, I look at the blood covering my hands.
Even when I help others, my hands are stained in blood. There's just no way out. Silently, I let the tears slip down cheeks.
Today was not supposed to go like this.
A/N:
Ivy: Yes guys this is exactly where I wanted the story to go. Might be a little unexpected, but there were little hints throughout the story that could support this like him telling Summer to stay away from Jayce and Cole never being home etc...
Hope you liked it! The drama has just started.