{ y'all still reading this horseshit?? aight. im as shocked as you are that i updated.
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My eyes fluttered open the next morning as an arm was wrapped around my waist, pulling me close into the warm body I'd spent the night pressed against. A small smile settled onto my lips as I breathed him in.
I craned my neck back to look at him, only to find him wearing a sleepy smile, one eye cracked open as he met my tired gaze. "Bonjour, mon cher," he murmured, reaching up to brush a loose hair off my forehead. "'Ow did you sleep?"
I sniffed, gave a small shrug. "Fine," I hummed softly, "Glad I wasn't cold all night."
A chuckled escaped him at this. "Oui, Levi, it is certainly cold outside." I laughed softly, shaking my head at him as I shifted onto my back, turned my head to the side to look at him.
"You're a loser sometimes, y'know that?" He only shrugged.
"Only for you." A soft smile settled onto my lips to match his, and for a moment, we just lay there, his arms wrapped around my middle as one of mine reached up to brush a stray curl behind his ear. His gaze was soft as he looked into my eyes, and I couldn't help but bite my lip.
His gaze drifted to my mouth, and it would have been so easy, so easy to just lean in and kiss him, but the only thing holding me back anymore was my own cowardice.
"Merry Christmas, Laf," I murmured, and his smile grew.
"Merry Christmas, Levi." His eyes lit up as a thought dawned on him, his face splitting into a grin as he suddenly stood, walking toward his desk. "I 'ave something for you. Just a small Christmas gift."
I furrowed my brow, sitting up weakly on his bed. "Laf, you didn't need to get me anything," I yawned, "Besides, wasn't that journal my gift?"
He considered me, shrugged as he rooted through a drawer. "Oui, part of it," he said, grinning, "But I got you something else. I found it a little while ago, and it make me think of you."
When he finally emerged, it was with a book, bound in deep maroon leather. He handed it to me with a smile, I took it to find the word Lettres de Deux Amans, Habitans d'une petite Ville au pied des Alpes, Vol. 1 embossed into the cover, the letters gilded, and I looked up at him, brow furrowed.
"A book?" I asked, understanding the gesture but curious about what it exactly was. He nodded.
"Oui, a novel by Jean-Jaques Rousseau. It... was one of my favorites from 'ome," he said with a small smile. "I remember you told me zat... you 'ad not read mis livres, so I thought I would bring one to you."
My heart fluttered with how he was looking at me, biting my lip as I fought my face flushing. "Thank you, Lafayette," I murmured softly, and he took a step closer to me, brushing a hair behind my ear with an easy smile.
"Anything for you."
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
The day passed nearly as quickly as it'd begun; I gave Lafayette the drawing I'd made for him many months ago, brought the pastries from Thomas to John and Hercules, and gifted Nael with a token from home. Camp was quiet; thankfully, you couldn't actually hear holiday mutineers. Regardless, all the soldiers seemed to be bundling up and spending the day together resting -- either that, or everyone had skipped town and crammed themselves into the pub about a half mile north.
I, however, spent the morning with John and Nael, Lafayette and Hercules each having split off at separate times for whatever the reasons. The Christmas snow stuck thick to our shoes, us not being exactly suited for the weather but too jovial to care as the weather wore away the leather, and we wandered through downtown, popping into shops, meeting merchants, and Nael doing more than his fair share of harassing women. By the time we returned to our barracks, the snow sparkled in the early afternoon light.
"So then Alex was telling me--"
"God, more about Alex?" I groaned, cutting John off as he tried to continue his story, and he gave me an impatient look. I only grinned, to amused to even fake guilt.
"Cut 'im some slack," Nael protested, grinning as mischief danced in his eyes. "It is only natural to go on about zose you love, hm? Like 'ow much you talk about Lafayette, Y/N."
John and I simultaneously went red, each going on the attack to try and deflect from discussion about ourselves.
"Wait, how do you know about John and Alex?" I asked, brow furrowed as I looked over him, but before he could answer, John cut him off.
"Hold on, you know about Y/N?" John looked shocked both at the news that his secret affair was less than secret, as well as that my identity was also such. Nael only huffed.
"Y/N's disguise is terrible, of course I knew about 'er. Shape up ze American accent, by ze way." He shot me a disapproving look, and I could only scoff, roll my eyes. "As for you and Alex?" His attention now turned to John, a grin creeping onto his face. "Well, with 'ow you talk about 'im, it was all but obvious. Zat is ze face of a man in love." Nael threw his arms around John's shoulders, giving a wistful sigh, and I had to laugh as John tried to shrug it off with a glare.
"Whatever," he grumbled, and Nael shot him a wink. He hesitated before continuing, though, the expression on his face suddenly looking rather wary. "But... neither of you have any... issue with that?" He spoke slowly, looking surprisingly unsure of himself with how calculated his words were. Nael just smiled.
"Non. Our grandmozer, after our grandfazer's death when we were young," He looked over at me, shrugged at my unsure expression before continuing, "She 'ad... a new roommate after 'e passed. We learned quickly not to judge."
"Besides," I piped up, and John raised his eyebrows, "you and Alex are adorable." I grinned, and his eye-roll was dramatic this time.
"Alright, King," he sighed, "Or... Y/N. Whatever we're calling you these days."
"Stick with Levi King, please." I could hear in my own voice how desperate I sounded, and continued on to explain, "Laf and Herc don't know. I hadn't meant to tell anyone in the first place, and I can't tell them. Besides," I threw a weary glance in the direction of the cabin, swallowing the sadness that threatened to join my tone, "At this point, it's too late to tell them. They'd be too hurt to know I lied for so long."
"Do not worry, Levi," Nael reassured me, his smile unusually soft, an expression rarely reserved for siblings. "Your secret is safe with us."
John nodded, and I shook my head, chuckled at how ridiculous the situation had progressively become. "Thanks, guys." I slowed down my steps as we reached the front door to the barracks I was staying in. "I really appreciate it."
As I began to open the door before me, splitting off from the group as they headed back to their tents, John called after my retreating figure. "We wouldn't wanna hurt your chances with your man!"
I wondered whether he had seen my flipping him off behind me as I walked inside. I immediately began to shrug my coat off once I stepped through the doorway; I wasn't sure how these wooden cabins were as insulated as they were, but I certainly didn't mind it. I'd intended to go straight to my room, sit down for a bit and potentially even draw, but my attention was drawn elsewhere as I entered.
Lafayette stood in the first room down the hall, the room I'd since learned was used for battle strategy and generals' meetings. He stood before a large sheet of paper, sprawled out and held down in front of him on the desk as he paced, gaze fixed firmly on the floor and biting his thumbnail despite muttering to himself. My steps were slow, cautious as I approached the doorway, and I nearly jumped out of my skin when he stopped suddenly, violently cursing.
I knocked lightly on the side of the doorway, and he looked up at me with wide eyes, surprised to see me there. "Levi," he said breathlessly, "I thought zat you were in town with Nael and John."
"I was." I shrugged, giving a light smile as I walked into the room. "But that was before I realized you were spending your Christmas in here on battle strategy instead of in town with us."
He smiled apologetically, though there was no guilt in his expression. "Forgive me, Levi. I, ah, thought of something, and--" He motioned to the objects spread out on the table before him, "could not 'elp but being distracted."
I hummed in acknowledgment as I joined him by the table, fingertips skimming the edge of the paper. "I can see that." My eyes wandered over what I then realized was a map, and the assorted trinkets Lafayette had used to indicate what I assumed to be different groups of people. I raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain?"
He sighed as he leaned forward over the table. "These," -- he motioned to the red checkers he'd pulled from who knows where, along with a marble or two-- "Are ze redcoats. We 'ave 'ad spies from our camps in theirs before, and we know for ze most part where zey are positioned."
"And where are we in this situation?" I raised an eyebrow, folding my arms, and he pointed to a small clump of chess pieces over on the side of the map.
"'Ere. Zis is our current position, and as you can see, ze British 'ave... much more territory zan we do."
"And?" I looked up at him from the map, expectant. "What's the idea you had? Will it get us out from being stuck here after the Christmas truce?"
He bit his lip. "I 'ope so." He walked slowly around the side of the table seemingly scanning the map for something he couldn't seem to find. "I was thinking... We leave our camp 'ere. Slowly leak our forces and our men to ze outside, just leave everything empty but make sure it does not look deserted."
I pursed my lips. "Then?"
"We take out their furthest out camps. Zey travel in smaller groups, and we could easily eliminate zem little by little."
"Divide and conquer."
"Precisely." He nodded, before sighing heavily, his gaze dropping again to the paper that lay on the table before him. "It could work, but we will going to need an escape route if things go badly, and we will need to find somewhere to house our men after we attack."
I bit my lip; I could understand why he was so frustrated. "And that's the sticking place, huh?"
"Zat is ze issue."
I sighed, eyes falling again to the map he was agonizing over. The British seemed to have us all but surrounded; if we attacked we'd be sure to end up overwhelmed by their sheer numbers. They'd just push us back if we tried to drive them out, and we'd be pushed inland. Especially with the water being where it was, it didn't seem--
Wait.
"Hang on. How's our navy?" My brow furrowed as I reached down toward the trinkets he'd laid out, shifting our troops slowly inland, trying to work out logistics in my head.
"Not good." He huffed, folding his arms. "However, ze French navy may be able to 'elp us out. What do you 'ave in mind?"
Smile tugging at my lips, I pulled the forces he'd marked as the patriots away from the sea, spreading them out around the British forces. "Divide and conquer out here, right? Take the furthest group inland and push them closer to the sea," -- I moved his creative representation of the British further east, moving our troops along behind them -- "And once we get them far enough east, ambush with the navy."
When I looked up, he was raising an eyebrow, slightly skeptical as he mulled the idea over. I bit the inside of my cheek, nervous for his reaction.
"I know how crazy it sounds, but--"
"Just crazy enough to work." He wore a wry smile as he looked up from the map. "Corner zem so we cannot be overwhelmed. Strategic."
"And we can get the resources from France?"
"I can see to it."
I smiled. "Perfect."
In that moment, him beaming at me like I was the greatest thing since geographical maps, I could've kissed him.
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
After many hours and an abundance of warmth -- a welcome refuge from the chilling weather and experiences from the past few months -- I ultimately found myself pigeon-holed into the back corner of the same pub, crammed into the same side of the same couch under the same lamp.
"Are we really gonna come here every time you guys get bored?" I whined as Lafayette took a seat a little way to my left, and John rolled his eyes.
"Suck it up, King, it's the cheapest booze in town." He gave me a deadpan look, and I sighed as Herc came over bearing an armful of -- cheap, as John would remind me -- whiskey.
"Alright, a pint for Nael," --The man in question accepted it with a hearty cheer-- "A pint for John, a pint for me, aaaand," --His gaze turned to Lafayette and me as he passed John a drink, judgment in his eyes and his tone flat-- "Two glasses of water for our major-generals."
They all booed, and Lafayette and I shared a look at the rather tipsy critique. "Lay off, Hercules. We 'ave been over why neizer of ze two of us are drinking." Lafayette accepted the glass of water with a pointed look, and I suppressed a chuckle at his visceral reaction. He scoffed loudly, turning as he made a point of not looking Lafayette in the eye.
"Whatever." He handed me my glass before folding his arms, fixing both of us with a glare. "Y'all are just being wusses. Need to learn to rebel a little."
I huffed out a laugh at that, eyes wide and voice disbelieving as I said, "We 'need to learn to rebel a little'? Last I checked, we're here literally leading a war for rebellion." I furrowed my brow. "I don't think we need to do all that much more than that."
"Alright, we've already gone through this," he huffed, putting his hands up in defense, but narrowing his eyes at me. "Still think you need to live a little." I rolled my eyes, shifting on the couch as he nodded to Lafayette. "Anyway, move over, Frenchie, you're taking up half the couch. I'm still tryin' to sit down, if you haven't forgotten."
Lafayette hesitated, glanced at me for a moment, meeting my gaze with a small, wary smile. I nodded toward my end of the couch, taking a sip of water, and he hesitantly began to move over, leave some room open -- but apparently not quickly enough. Herc scoffed, dropping himself into the space on his other side, forcing him to scramble toward me in order not to be crushed by the older man. He narrowly escaped his unwelcome fate, dodging to the side just as Herc hit the couch, his side pressing into mine in his bid at safety.
"'Ercules!" he reprimanded him, though I noticed distinctly hoe he didn't try to shift further back toward the other side of the couch, "Be more careful; you could 'ave killed me!"
He snorted, waving off his concerns. "You were fine. And now you two can cozy up, huh?" He leaned forward a bit, shooting a suggestive glance my way, and I just scoffed, not meeting his gaze as I could feel my face begin to heat.
"I am not sure if 'cozy' is a word for it, when you are taking up 'alf of ze couch," Lafayette snapped back, and a lazy grin split across Herc's face.
"C'mon, aren't you enjoying my company?" At our unamused gazes, he leaned in toward Laf, undeterred, and muttered, "At least now you two can enjoy each other's company." He shot him a less-than-discreet wink, and I didn't see Lafayette's glare back at him, my gaze having dropped to the floor upon hearing his words, my face now burning.
Noticing our discomfort, Nael leaned in a bit from where he sat across with John. He grinned as he held his (nearly empty, already) pint loosely on his lap. "So," He glanced between us, pursing his lips to suppress a laugh at the obvious tension. "Are you all going to be going to ze winter's ball after ze 'olidays?"
I raised an eyebrow. "The what?"
"The winter's ball," he repeated, but was met only with blank stares, and scoffed, letting out a dry laugh in a huff. "Come on, aren't you all supposed to be ze most trusted advisors of Washington? 'Ow 'ave you not 'eard about zis?"
I met John's eyes, looking as lost as I was, and he just shrugged. "What is it?"
He huffed out a laugh, falling back into the couch behind him as he shook his head in disbelief. "Washington's holding a ball up north in ze new year. Keep up ze morale and all zat." He knocked his shoulders into John's with a grin, and we both gave him an amused look.
"Sounds fun," I shrugged, and Nael grinned, meeting my gaze.
"Are going to come, Levi?" he asked, the use of my name too pointed to mistake his intention. "You could meet Y/N zere, finally."
I felt Lafayette shift in his seat at the mention of the name, my throat feeling tight with the reference. "We'll see, Nael." If my face didn't read 'shut-the-fuck-up,' then my body language sure did. I could feel my shoulders hunched, my jaw clenched, but it didn't seem to bother Nael as he chuckled.
"Oui, we will, wont we?"
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
By the time they were ready to leave, Hercules had spent the past hour preoccupied in the corner with the barmaid, everyone other than me and Lafayette was at least five drinks deep, and I was nearly falling over where I sat from exhaustion.
"Easy, Levi," Lafayette murmured to me, catching me for likely the third time as I began to drift off into sleep. Laughter was obvious in his voice, but I could only groan. "We will not stay much longer, but you are having to stay awake until we do."
"You've been saying that for an hour," I grumbled, slumping into the cushioned back of the couch, "Can't I just sleep here until we leave?"
He chuckled, eyes shining under the low candlelight. "And leave me 'ere with these drunkards? Absolutely not."
I scowled, tucking my knees into my chest to preserve my body heat in the quickly chilling pub. "And why can't we leave them here alone?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You want to take zat risk? Be my guest."
I huffed as I looked him in the eye, brow furrowed but anger entirely fabricated (and he could tell, too). "Maybe I will."
"Oh?"
Amused disbelief played at his features as I struggled to hoist myself to my feet, pushing myself off of the couch with a shudder. I wrapped my coat more tightly around my unfortunately small frame as I made for the exit. I nearly stumbled over my own feet, supporting myself on deserted tables and wooden benches while I walked, and when I glanced back, his expression was only one of worry.
"Levi, what are you doing?"
"Heading back." I shrugged nonchalantly as I looked over my shoulder at him, though my casual air wasn't quite conveyed with my hobbling across the uneven floor. "'M tired. Gonna go get some sleep."
He huffed as he watched me try to continue, and despite my determination, the winter was quickly seeping into my bloodstream, and exhaustion was weighing down my bones. I lifted my chin, but that was the most decent thing about my posture.
"Levi," Lafayette called after me, concern and urgency evident in his voice. "Come back, you are too tired to try and walk back to ze camp all alone."
"I'll be fine," I insisted, scowling. "I'm not that tired, anyway."
"Levi." His voice came only one more time, now becoming authoritative, yet I refused to turn back again. I was sick of having to hear first hand about Hercules's sex life, and John and Nael seemed to be bonding rather loudly over nothing in particular. It was getting to my head.
I was nearing the door when an arm came around my shoulders, burying me in a coat that carried a distinctly familiar scent, and I sighed. My glare was weak as I paused in my trajectory.
"You looked cold." Lafayette seemed unimpressed as he pulled me under the warmth of his jacket, and I couldn't begin to stifle the small smile that rested on my lips.
"Thanks." My voice was small as I looked up at him, and he chuckled.
"Toujours, mon amour."
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
My exhaustion had surprisingly begun to clear by the time we reached the center of camp, the amount of walking I'd had to do along with the cold waking me up more than I'd have liked it to. I'd stumbled into my room a few minutes before with Lafayette having told me he'd "be right back." I had no doubt that he would be, but regardless, I let myself get buried in my old journal, for more than a moment. I knew very well that him seeing it could be endgame, considering it was the same one I was using when we first met, but in that moment, I couldn't help myself. It was my first Christmas without my father, and Lafayette was taking upwards of half an hour.
"Levi!" Lafayette's sing-songish voice came from behind the side of my doorway, his footsteps quickly approaching, and I didn't hesitate to shove my journal underneath my covers.
"Hey." I smiled as he emerged from the hallway an eyebrow raised, and he grinned. He was holding two mugs of... something, and I was more than curious to find out what.
"Allô." He came to sit with me on my bed, and I scooted over, careful to keep the journal underneath the covers. The only light in the room came from the moonlight filtering in from my small covered window, and from the candle-lit lantern I kept next to my bed.
"What's all this?" I asked, and he handed me one of the mugs with a rather self-contented expression.
"Eggnog."
My eyes widened; anything sweet was in short supply, let alone something sweet with both alcohol and milk in it. He'd had to have paid nearly a fortune just for the two mugs of it.
"I... Seriously?" He nodded, taking a small sip. The mug was warm in my hands; he'd presumably held it over a fire in the time he was gone, and it was such a welcome surprise. "How'd you get it?"
"I bought it in town a little while ago. I 'ad planned on getting it for myself and for 'ercules, but I thought ze two of us needed it just a bit more." The two of us shared a look with that, both affection and understanding mingling in my expression. His eyes gleamed above me. I could've counted the stars in them. "After all, we 'ave gone all Christmas without drinking any alcohol, we 'ave been leading a war, and, well--" He shrugged, "Not very much 'as been going right for us lately. I supposed zat so long as we 'ad each other an eggnog, we would be fine."
I laughed at that, taking a sip of my eggnog as I ducked my head. Warmth immediately flooded my system, the sweet liquid seeming to sit in my chest as the alcohol went to my head and the sweetness -- both of the drink and of the man himself -- went straight to my heart. "Thank you, Lafayette. This feels like much more than I deserve."
He chuckled. "I promise, you deserve it. You 'ave been through so much over ze past few months, Levi. I 'ave always admired your strength."
"Funny hearing that from the one who nearly died and only came back stronger," I quipped, and he smiled, rolled his eyes despite himself.
"And what about ze one who saved my life, hm?" He gave me a pointed look, and I could feel heat creeping up the back of my neck. I took another sip of my drink, if only to avoid how nervous his gaze was suddenly making me. He grinned.
We sat in warm silence for another few moments, me leaning into him as we both kept drinking our eggnog, kept finding ourselves a reason to hang on through the rest of the war. I was more grateful for Lafayette at that moment than I'd ever been, and I glanced up at him.
I had to stifle a laugh, though, at what I saw. Cream was smeared all on his nose from his drink, and he very much seemed not to have noticed. He looked down at my nearly-smothered giggles, a brow raised.
"What are you finding so funny?"
"You've got a little..." I trailed off, motioning to his nose, but he began wiping at his upper lip, brow furrowed in frustration. I took another sip of my drink, watching him struggle, before giving in with a sigh. "Let me do it."
I put my mug down on the table next to my bed. I moved his hand from where it was rubbing aggressively at his mouth, his mug having been laid to rest on the floor for the moment, my small smile never wavering, and reached up to wipe the eggnog from his nose, pulling myself up to kneel on the bed at that point, otherwise unable to reach his nose. As I leaned in to wipe it off, I nearly lost my balance on the bed, though, Lafayette's strong arms immediately reaching out to catch me as I yelped, falling forward.
I froze, immediately aware of how close he suddenly was. His surprised stare seemed to burn into mine as I held myself up on his broad shoulders, and I slowly retracted my arms from his figure, though his hands stayed to steady me at my waist. Biting my lip, I slowly reached out to wipe the eggnog from the tip of his nose, my small smile growing as I did so.
"Got it," I said quietly, and he didn't move. His gaze had moved down to my lips, and my heart was suddenly leaping into my throat.
He retracted one hand from my waist, saying, "You... have a bit of eggnog just zere." He indicated where he meant as my breathing was far from steady. His hand dragged my eyes down to his upper lip, and I swallowed hard.
"I..." Saying anything at all was a struggle in the intimate proximity. "Can you get it?"
"Oui." The word was just a breath against my lips as he leaned in, closing the little space between us as I all but melted in his arms. My eyes fluttered shut, and he pulled me closer with my lips pressed to his, moving my legs to straddle his lap. My arms snaked their way around his neck, and I kissed him back with all caution having been thrown to the wind. It was gentle, much like everything about Lafayette, and though it was slow, never rushed, never needy, it was astoundingly intimate, just being in his arms, wrapping myself in his smell, his touch, the taste of his tongue on my lips.
I slowly pulled away after a few moments, my forehead resting against his as we both caught our breaths. A sheepish grin snuck onto his face.
"I'm not sure that helped," I murmured, and he had to laugh with the absurdity of the situation.
"I am sorry to disappoint, amour." His nose brushed against mine, and I smiled, leaning in to him.
"You didn't."