Chapter 17: Bickering
“Why are you limping like that?' Nicholas demanded.
“I'm swaggering,' I informed him.
“You look like you're wearing a diaper.”
Charming. And I had a crush on this guy.
Wait. I had a crush on this guy?
“Now what?” he asked, “You're making weird faces.”
“Nothing,” I said quickly. "Never mind.”
― Alyxandra Harvey, My Love Lies Bleeding
Somehow I could feel like I could closely relate to Ms. Harvey’s story except the situation was reversed between Irene and me. I was the one always saying “never mind”. sigh
We walked away in silence, leaving the hollow tree that saved our lives behind us, like they never mattered. The truth was, I had developed a deeper connection with these woods now, the trees had not only been my only solace and friends all through these years, but they had also saved my life. However, more than anything at this moment, I needed a second to myself. I had been ignoring everything that had ever happened to me my entire life and now it had stock piled to a point where it was threatening to boil over. I needed to take a second and sort things out, figure out what the hell was going on (this whole Irene situation was bad enough as it) and finally make a plan; I couldn’t just wander around the woods with Irene in tow without a plan.
“Irene,” I didn’t know how to say it to her, part of me didn’t want to say it at all, but I knew I had to get it out somehow.
“hmm?” she said from beside me, I looked on as she had a handful of grass in her hand which she pulled apart and tore with quite a bit of focus, as though she was thinking.
“Irene, I….” don’t be a chicken, just tell her! More than anything, I was most afraid of hurting her feelings.
“Yea?” she looked at me, dusting off her hands, letting the shreds of grass delicately fall to the floor. I watched as they slowly tethered around in the air and then finally fell to the ground and joined the fresh grass that was matted all over the place. Nature being ironical; death and life, right next to each other.
“Jason?” Irene lightly broke me out of my wonderings, “you were saying?”
“Irene…. it’s just that…I’m hungry?” You chicken! I scolded myself, I had not only failed to tell her I needed some time to myself but had also proceeded to sound like a fool by making it sound as if I was asking her if I was hungry. There was no limit to my stupidity.
“You sound confused…,” she looked at me with uncertainty but ignored it as soon as it came, “but there are some nice berry bushes East, I think, I remember walking past them,”
“No, we can’t head back, let’s just keep going this way and see if we come across something, besides I have a bag of biscuits here somewhere,” I told her as I slipped my bag pack from my shoulders and rummaged in it till I found the said biscuits. Ripping the plastic open, I took out a piece for myself and handed her the rest. She took it from me, looking at me with that confused expression of hers but I ignored it and began walking. I didn’t know why I was such a chicken back there, probably because I was afraid if I told Irene that I needed space from her, she might take it the wrong way. There was no way I could hurt her feelings, it just wasn’t in me. I was a wuss and a big one at that.
Sighing on the inside, I proceeded to walk; looking behind me to make sure Irene was close behind. She was more engrossed in reading the label on the biscuits more than anything else. We kept on walking for about an hour, I couldn’t be sure, until I figured enough was enough because I had to do this today or I’d never get around to it.
The problem was that it was starting to create an itch in the back of my mind as though it were stuck in my head. I figured if I did not make the effort to fix this today, I would never get around to it. I had so much to think about and figure out; I just needed the peace of mind. The day was getting ahead of us anyway. My wrist watch told me it was about 10 o’clock. With my staying over at my buddys’ place excuse, I assumed I could spend another day out without gathering suspicion from my parents. There was just so much to plan and organize!
A mental battle had begun, with me trying to convince myself that I was smart enough to come up with a good idea of distracting Irene without hurting her feelings versus the possibility that there was no way I could help her predicament of being lost out here, especially considering how grandly I had made promises to her.
This HAD to be done. Sigh
“Irene, let’s take a breather. How about we sit there for a while?” I asked her pointing towards a rather old and large looking tree coming up ahead of us.
“Ok, I guess. I am getting tired, sitting for a little while won’t hurt us,” she gave me a small smile and began running towards the old tree. I DON’T KNOW WHY, but everything slowed down. I realized as the screaming began in my head, my sub conscience telling me to not be a pervert and stop staring at her that way, but I just couldn’t help it.
Irene ran like the most beautiful thing ever, so graceful and dainty, as though she were some kind of a princess. Her glossy hair bounced on her back in slow motion as I saw every strand move from its place, have a frolic up in the air and then return to her petite back. Her white dress moved around with the sway of wind but never exposing her feet; get over her damn feet already. I didn’t realize I had frozen still in place, watching her like a retard so I quickly shook myself out of it, before she could catch me staring at her; that would make an excellent impression.
Coming back to planet Earth, I began walking over to her as she settled herself down, sitting and leaning against the trunk of the tree, looking at her surroundings. I put my backpack besides her and sat down besides her. Everything around us was calm then, the damn birds had finally shut up, I couldn’t hear any squirrels or whatever was in those noisy branches. Everything was calm. And intense. I couldn’t understand what it was at first but then when I looked at Irene, I realized she was probably feeling it too, at least her face showed as much. She was looking at me with her blue eyes wide open but her mouth shut tight, as though she was trying to not say something? I couldn’t be sure. It felt as though there was a current passing between me and her and it was beginning to make me sweat; so.not.cool.
I tried to subtly scoot away from Irene but the further I got, it seemed as though the current was intensifying, Oh hell no, I have got to get out of here.
“I’m going into the bushes to umm.., pee,” really?! That’s the first thing that came out of my mouth? Really?! But it seemed to work because it broke her out of her trance, but the expression on her face was replaced by a look of disgust. Oh crap.
“Why would you tell me that, gentlemen do not talk to ladies in this fashion,” she looked slightly offended. I was a genius, because I chose that moment to snort at her comment,
“In this fashion? Who even says that anymore? Besides how else should I have told you?”
“What? Who says what? Any polite gentleman would have said he’s going to attend to some “business”,” a hauty expression had appeared on her face as she looked away from me in that you-should-have-known-this way.
“Tend to what business in the woods? Are you serious right now? Forget it, don’t even answer that, I’m going away on ‘business”,” she probably knew I was mocking her but I didn’t stick around to look, I just stomped away from her.
“You don’t go away on business you attend to some business! Even a child would have picked that up by now!” she yelled from behind me as I walked away faster. I had a sudden urge to turn around and show her the beautiful length of one of my fingers but I decided against it, I had never been a disrespectful person, but she seemed to manage pissing me off in creative ways. Perhaps under different circumstances I would have enjoyed her banter. Thinking of circumstances, I had finally found my outlet to get some space from her. Finally.
Now that I was further away from Irene, I slowed down, we had been walking all day and my feet really were hurting, but I needed to get to some place that was not only safe but also gave me the peace of mind to think. God works miracles sometimes because just as I had begun to think of the perfect spot, I heard it.
It was quite soft at first, I could barely hear it but then as I kept on walking and got closer, it became more obvious. The sounds were of strong, gushing water, possibly hitting against something…rocks? I had to see it. I was utterly perplexed because I knew there was a mini lake right in front of my house but gushing water? That could only be a stream. There were no mountains around here for it to be a waterfall, wait, where there? At this point, everything was possible.
Everything.
©Hafsa T.M (aka HTMwrites)