"We are products of our past but we don't have to be prisoners of it." – Rick Warren
Raven's Peak, Ardam 40
I almost hit my forehead with my palm halfway down the stairs when I realise that the lifts are now being operated.
Idiot.
I'm so tired I can barely think. After the long darkness, the sun's bright rays pierces my eyes. The world threatens to tilt as my dizzy head whirls reality away. A warm hand saves me from colliding with the cobbled road.
I look up into the most beautiful blue eyes – brighter than the sky: Lord Caith - the one and only.
"Are you feeling ill?"
Ill? Why would I feel ill?
"I haven't eaten since yesterday morning," I say in realisation for the first time as my starved stomach gnaws into my intestines.
He looks truly astonished. "How does one not eat? Except if... But you do not look like you cannot afford food."
"It is not due to needing, but I have been quite occupied."
"With what?"
"One of the things was defying the king and giving you supplies."
He grins: "That is the reason I have come: to thank you."
"I would like to stand here and accept your gratitude, but I fear I won't be able to stand for much longer."
His hands on my shoulder slacks and he takes my left hand. The customary awkwardness of being touched by other people is oddly absent as his hands gently clutch mine.
"I do suppose that you need not a declaration of gratitude presently, but would currently prefer food as thanks. Unfortunately, I cannot send you off until I know that you have energy enough to arrive wherever you are going."
His way of speaking is like reading an old book - those old ones filled with legend and mystery singing songs of brave warriors and hopeless romantics.
He gently leads me down the streets to a market.
"Stay here. I think you will drop dead if you walk another step."
I don't have the energy to argue. I sit down on the steps. My head twirls and bounces like a toddler spinning around giggling.
He comes back and sits next to me. He hands me a piece of cloth with something wrapped inside. The intense smell of bacon, mushrooms and molten cheese unfolds, causing the uncomfortable tug in my stomach to lurch in joy.
Five bites in I realize that Lord Caith isn't eating and I immediately become self-conscious. I stop chewing. I swallow while looking at him with wide eyes.
"You are still in the same dress as last night."
"I worked."
"The whole night?" He says with what I think is a hint of mockery.
As the food plugs the hole in my being, I become more aware of my surroundings. The scurry of merry housewives with their tittle-tattle fill the square. The streets buzz withthe clippety-clop and cheerful neighing of horses pulling their carts stacked with wares for the market.
I nod as I study a paunchy fellow dashes after a ragamuffin with cheeks covered in soot, his belly swaying dangerously with every step.
Caith sees my confusion as he guffaws, his merry laughter filling me with glee.
He answers with a wave of his hand accompanied by a question: "Forgive me, but would you tell me why a woman, who is obviously a lady of great nobility, would deceive and lie and pretend at being a whore?"
If I still had food in my mouth, I would have choked.
"How-?"
"It doesn't matter."
I take a moment to formulate a reply and the one I give is honest: "I do not wish to draw attention to myself."
He thinks about it: "Why would you be receiving attention – other than the reason that you are a good-looking woman?"
I smile sadly, barely registering his words: "Because I have been absent from the court for years, and I am past the marrying-age."
"Princess Aebbé, daughter of Ardam, I am sure you will find a husband quite soon."
"I don't desire a husband, thank you. And how do you know who I am? I never introduced myself."
He grins mischievously: "Because I heard the gossip of a lady who dared to take my seat at the main table last night, and thus I had to investigate and track the culprit down."
I throw my hands up: "Guilty! And you want a public apology?"
He shakes his head: "Not at all! I am in awe of the entire episode. Prince Eoghan told me everything. He was quite shocked at the breach of etiquette, but my laughing soon convinced him to see the lighter side of it."
"There is a lighter side?"
"Yes! It would do that bunch of no-good nobles good to realize that their petty etiquette isn't the only thing that matters. Even Prince Eoghan should learn that lesson."
I smile: "I think you might be the only person seeing it in that light."
"After that, you will have them all cowering in front of you. Few would have the same strength and amount of guts."
I don't reply and finish eating.
He takes his leave when I am done.
My head has stopped spinning. I feel like a new person. I return to the palace and stop at the gate. Lord Caith's words have given me the courage I need. No, it reminded me of the courage I possess.
I answer before the guard asks: "I am Aebbé, the only daughter of Ardam, Duchess of Ligeia, Lady of Raven's Peak, and first-rank healer of Ligtland."
His eyes widen to the size of apples when he recognizes me.
I look him squarely in the eye: "And for your abhorrent and disgusting treatment of women in general and especially me yesterday I will ensure that you are demoted."
He splutters: "Your Highness, I would never - had I known."
I ignore him: "Open the gate."
The sound of the metal squealing echoes through the courtyard as all the nobles turn to stare at me. The fact that I'm still wearing the same clothes as before will not slip past them as them.
I enter my room, finally able to escape thejudgementtal eyes of the court. However, just as I lie down on my bed, I am again intrudedupon. A thunderous bang of the door colliding with stone echoes through my room as the unwelcome guest wals in.
"I heard you were back, but I could not believe it until I saw you with my own eyes!"
I look at the man blankly before recognition dawns upon me.
"Aelfraed!"
I jump up from the bed and into my nephew's hug.
"Little Aebbé, you are back!"
He grabs my shoulders and pushes me away to study me.
I take the time to study him. Even though he still towers over me, the gap between our heights has shrunk. He is now only a head taller than me. He has gained muscle bulk, and a light stubble covers his chin and jaw. His carrot-coloured hair has faded to an orange-blond – probably from spending time in the sun. His curls have been cropped short and gelled back.
"And you are taller but smaller!" he concludes after studying me.
I smile: "So how is my only nephew?"
"I'm not your brother's only bastard-son, but I am your favourite," he says with a mocking face, but smiling brown eyes the same colour as mine.
"I consider you the only one who exists to me," I say decisively. "And maybe the idiot-one as well. He has a good heart."
He punches my shoulder slightly. "He's the only one I consider my brother."
I used to hang my head in shame whenever the word of yet a new bastard of Friduric emerged. But Aelfraed, four years my senior, has always been in my life. His mother was a married lady who had an animated affair with my brother Friduric for some time, and then she died during Alfraed's birth. Because the lady's family is quite a powerful family, my father decided to name him with a derivative of one of the family names and he was raised in our household, but his bastard status was never forgotten.
"Things are well with your only and favourite nephew." A dark look crosses his face: "I don't know if you heard that Adam passed away a few days ago."
"Adam?"
"My half-brother Adam."
"No, I have not been told. What happened?"
"He and his mother were trapped in the building they lived when it burned down. A few other occupants died as well. They blamed one of the occupants' cooking fire."
"Really?"
He nodded.
I have nothing to add to that. I haven't met Adam, but Aelfraed has told me about him. Adam was a few years younger than Aelfraed.
"Your uniform tells me you are one of the family Vaubadon's guards?"
"Yes, I have been assigned to your witch of a sister-in-law, Lady Catherina."
"She is as horrible as rumour has it?"
"She is worse than whatever you might have heard."
"She really eats raw frog legs and bathes in baby-blood?"
His eyes widen: "Maybe she is not worse than the rumours, but it comes very close."
We laugh as he gives me another hug.
"The King is absolutely furious at your lack of respect for his house and his authority, and I suspect that he would soon summon you to reprimand and flog you."
"You are exaggerating, Aelfraed."
"I am, but he almost beheaded me last night because I did not tell him what you planned to do."
I lift an eyebrow: "Really?"
He nods solemnly: "Even though I haven't seen you for the exact same period that he hasn't and I had no idea if you would ever return."
"I'm sorry."
"I might forgive you because the joy of your return overflows my heart. After I convinced him of my innocence, I suggested that he should consider reassigning me to be one of your guards so that I can warn him should you ever plan on 'humiliating the name of Vaubadon again,'" he says mockingly.
"You are going to serve me?"
"No, I am going to serve the King by being your guard." He grins: "But we all know where my loyalties lie."
I smile: "I missed you."
His grin widens: "I know. What gift did you bring me?"
"Why would I bring you a gift?"
"Because it is etiquette."
"I don't cower when I breach etiquette."
"Because you love me," he says solemnly.
"I do? I just said you were my favourite, never anything about loving you," I say innocently.
He punches my shoulder lightly: "And because you owe me."
"I don't. You work for your father, remember?"
"You are impossible!"
"Of course."
"Of course you are impossible, or of course you brought me a gift?"
"Both, duh."
I walk to my trunks that have been delivered to my room. I need to unpack them soon. Ria will take care of the trunks with clothes in, but the rest is my responsibility. I unlock the first with the key hung around my neck. I make a show of unpacking half the trunk before handing him the first thing I unpacked – an elvish dagger with a jewelled hilt wrapped in silk.
"I thought of getting you a sword, but I didn't think you'd be so grown up by now," I say as he unwraps the dagger.
I can see him appreciating the dagger's beauty.
"Aebbé, this must have cost a fortune. I am not worthy of it."
He looks longingly at the dagger while considering to hand it back.
"Of course you are. You are the noblest member of this family. If it makes you feel better, an elf gave it to me as a gift," I lie.
"Even more reason not to give it to me," he says seriously.
"It came in a pair. I have its twin."
"Really?" his face lights up.
"Yes."
He squeezes me tightly.
"This is why my loyalties lie with you."
"I thought you loved me," I say mocking hurt.
"And a little bit of that too." He grins: "But I need to beg my leave. I have duties to attend to – you know, like reporting to the Captain in charge of your safety."
I smile: "I'm glad you popped in."
"I should probably tell the Captain that we will have a difficult time in suffocating you?"
"Yes, you should. Who is he?"
"A Captain Fabrizion Ouliuiu. Never heard of him though."
I grin: "Then you needn't tell him. He already knows."
"You've met him?"
"Yes, he escorted me to Raven's Peak."
"The poor man has already acquainted with you rebellious and unacceptable ways?"
"Indeed, and he is quite adaptable. He is going to get far in his career, but he won't sacrifice any of his virtues. He is a good man."
"You know that is not something you should be saying lightly."
"I know."
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