Frank willed his phone to ring. It sat on his nightstand, next to the dog Gerard had brought home with him. He called it Spot.
He couldn't wait to get a real dog.
It had been a week and a half since Gerard left and Frank had gotten no phone call since then. To say he was worried was an understatement. He was scared beyond his mind. He cried yesterday. Not full out bawling, just a few tears running down his face. It was routine now for him: Come home, maybe eat dinner, take a shower, and then wait until his eyes could take no more for the phone to ring.
When it rang this time, Frank almost screamed. It took him a second longer than necessary to realize his phone was ringing.
He snatched it up, fumbling around with it before his thumb finally slid across the screen. He brought it up to his ear. "Gee?"
"Greetings, young padawan."
"Oh my God! I was so worried about you. Oh my God. Are you okay?"
"You're just going to ignore my reference? Gosh, Frank. I'm hurt." Gerard's voice actually sounded like he was hurt by this. "Gerard, shut up. I'm not playing with you."
"I'm fine. I miss you, though." He sighed. "I miss you." Frank felt all the tension from the past days shoot from his body as he sunk into the bed. "Jesus. I thought something...had happened."
"No. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. I've been so busy. I haven't been to sleep for 2 days. Things are just getting worse here." Gerard frowned on the other side of the phone, looking at his gear that was laid out across the table. "I don't think this will end anytime soon. It's making me worry. What if they don't let me leave?" He whispers, tugging at the phone's wire. Frank waited before replying.
"They will. And you need to sleep. God. Gerard, please. If you need to let your foot down and tell them to let you take a break, do it. I don't care if it gets you fired - or whatever they call it."
"Haha. You're so cute. I'm about to go to sleep, and I had time to call. So I took up the opportunity."
"Thank you." Frank sighs, closing his eyes. He let his head rest in one hand as he leaned forward.
"How are things back there?"
"Nothing's changed. I don't know why you expect one." Frank scoffed. "I have no one to cook for?" He said in a hopeful tone, thinking Gerard would accept that as a change back home. "Invite Mikey over."
"Mikey has a life."
"So? People interrupt other people's lives all the time."
Frank just rolls his eyes and smiles at Gerard's inconsiderate tone. "I'm not going to do that. I'll just wait until my loving husband comes back." He bites his lip, smiling.
"Hey. Hey hey. Don't start. I'm thousands of miles away from you and if you start flirting with me over the phone there will be problems."
"Problems for you. Not for me." Frank sings, chuckling at the fact.
"I kinda wanna go to sleep without a boner tonight," Gerard says, "It's already bad enough I can't even look at you. Speaking of looking at you, tomorrow we can Skype."
"Seriously? I can't wait." Frank says eagerly, even more ecstatic than when the call first started. "Yep. Tomorrow. Don't be late."
"I'm never late."
-
Frank settles in bed, crossing his legs and setting the laptop down in his lap. He's wearing boxers and a long sleeved gray shirt. If Gerard was here, he could just freeball without a care and cuddle up next to him.
But, he's not.
So, he won't.
Frank eyes the screen for the notification that signals Gerard has logged and once he does he has a huge smile on his face. He hurriedly sends a request and after a few seconds, Gerard's lovely face is on his screen.
"Hey, baby." He waves.
"Hi." Frank laughs, giving a tiny wave with his fingers.
"How was your day?" "It was good."
"I miss you." Gerard blurts, sighing. Behind him is a dark blue curtain, but Frank can see that wherever he is still still lit decently. "I miss you, too." The smile slowly fades from Frank's face. "How are you doing?"
Gerard runs a hand down his face, grunting. "Tired. Sore. Working." "I'd give you the best massage ever if you were here." Frank bites his bottom lip, loving the way Gerard's cheeks bunch up. "I'd love that, Frankie. Alas, I have to wait."
"How long?" Frank whispers, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Gerard hesitates, running his slender fingers through his hair - that looks like it needs another cut - and clearing his throat.
"I don't know. I will say that I know for sure it's gonna be at least another 3 weeks...maybe a month. I don't know, babe." He says guiltily.
"Well...whenever you come back, I'll be here. Like always." Frank cooes the last part, pushing down his feeling of distress at his husband's previous words.
"I love you." Gerard giggles, resting his head on his hand. "You should. I'm very lovable. I love you, too."
"We should have a contest to see who can say 'I love you' the most." Gerard suggests, making Frank snort loudly. "I'd win because you're not allowed to skype me forever."
"That doesn't mean I can't say it under my breath when I log off."
"Same here."
"We'll both lose."
"No shit. I need to go to sleep. We can still try?" Frank has that adorable, stupid side smile of his and his eyebrows raised. "Okay." Gerard agrees, rolling his eyes.
"I love you." Frank starts.
"I love you."
"I love you."
"I love you." Gerard bangs his head down on whatever surface the computer is sitting on after he says it and Frank laughs. "What the fuck?"
"I just love you so much, man."
"Gerard, I'm not dumb. Why did you do that?"
"Fine. I have to fart and it won't come out."
Frank spits all over the laptop from his sudden burst of laughter and even falls over to the side, hearing Gerard laugh along with him.
"You're- You're literally the stupidest person on Earth!" Frank yells through his laugh attack, tears in his eyes. "Shut up. It's coming."
"Gerard, I don't want to fucking hear you fart, okay?" Frank can't stop giggling as he looks back at the screen. He notices Gerard's left side of his body rise slightly and his face scrunch up before he finally sighs happily. "I farted."
"You're so fucking stupid. Why do I even like you? You nasty shit." Frank chuckles.
"It fucking stinks."
"Gerard! Shut up or I'm logging off."
"Nooo! Okay. I'm sorry." Gerard blows him a kiss and Frank pretends to catch it.
"Apology accepted, my wonderful husband."
Gerard wags his finger. "I asked to marry you. You're my husband."
"I don't give a fuck who asked first."
"Jesus, back then, I thought I'd be waiting forever. All those dates and late night calls and texts and months and years. I was like 'Either he likes fucking people over or I need to make a move."
"Well excuse me for wanting to have a very stable relationship." Frank scoffs, jerking his neck. "You can get married and still have a stable relationship. Example: us."
Frank rolls his eyes and shrugs. "Whatever. You're my husband and I'm your husband. You're wasting our time talking about stupid stuff. I wanna punch you. You know we have limited time."
"It's not stupid!" Gerard cries indignantly, his eyebrows furrowing. "I am reminiscing about our 'before marriage' times. How dare you." "It is to me because that's in the past, and this is the present, and we're married, so fuck all that stuff, and I fucking miss you being here with me." "You just called that stupid." "Get over it, Gerard."
"You're so lucky you're you. I swear." "I'm amazing. I know."
"You're annoying." "At least I don't fart while skyping someone. That's nasty, which is worse than annoying."
"Just wait till I come back - which will be soon, babe. I promise."
-
It was a gloomy Sunday afternoon.
Frank had taken the liberty of dusting his and Gerard's Labs out, as well as the Tv and other places that needed dusting that day. He had spoken to Gerard a few days ago over the phone. He was expecting to here from him sometime in the next couple of days. He was sent out, so there was no way he could contact Frank until he came back. Frank was worried, but he kept himself calm. He can't always be worried about him.
But then a week passed.
A week and a half.
And he was shaking as he sat on his bed, staring at his blank phone screen. Gerard had never went almost two weeks without contact. His heart even felt as if it was trembling with fear. What if something had gone wrong?
He began looking through his pictures to calm himself, finding solace in the goofy one that he and Gerard had took some time ago. He missed him terribly. He missed being able to hug him and feel his warm body underneath his hands. He missed hearing his dry voice whenever he talked. He missed Gerard's simple touches that made him feel light as a feather.
When it passed three weeks, Frank was a wreck. He'd called Mikey for company, but Gerard's younger brother was confident that Gerard was okay. Still, having Mikey over was like having a little piece of Gerard in a way, so he remained calm.
But even at work, it was starting to show how stressed he was becoming due to no contact with his husband; no information regarding his well being.
When the doorbell rang, Frank had just walked into the kitchen to find something to eat for breakfast. He sighed heavily, rubbing as his already sleep deprived eyes as he made his way to the door. Looking through the peep hole, he almost fainted.
It was as if his hand had a mind of its own as it unlocked the door and turned the handle, staring at the men in uniforms.
Just imagine someone you love dearly, someone you love with all your heart, someone you only want to see happy because that's all they deserve - happiness - never speaking to you again.
Never smiling at you again.
Never touching you again.
Never telling you how much they love you ever again.
No new and sudden pictures of them eating or looking at something.
The person you love...just imagine never being able to hear their voice high with laughter. Icy with anger. Slow with sadness.
Frank would never get a real dog.
He didn't know what came first - the tears or the realization.
His chest became heavy and each breath was harder to take than the last. His throat clogged up and his vision was blurred in a split second as he shook his head continuously.
"No. No..no. No." Frank gasped and shook his head in disbelief, breathing faster as a whirlwind of past years, months, and days flashed by in his head. "No. Where's Gerard? Where is he?"
"Mr. Way-"
"Where's Gerard?"
"I know that-" The man couldn't get his words out because Frank screamed. He yelled and fell to his knees right there in the doorway, gripping the doorframe. "Noo! No! G-G-Ger-" Frank started wheezing as tear after tear left his eyes.
His husband, Gerard Way, was dead, and had been missing for 2 weeks before they found his body.
"Don't fucking lie to me!" Frank yelled at them, looking up with red and watery eyes. "Where the fuck is my husband?! He's not dead!"
Frank was helped back up to his feet by strong yet gentle hands. But he pushed them off. "You let him die! You did this! You sent him out there to do your fucking dirty work! You killed Gerard! You killed my husband!" Frank shouted in his thick voice. His throat felt ready to burst.
Frank finally gave up and whined as he sank back to the ground, scratching at the wooden floor of the porch beneath him as he tried to process the fact that Gerard was never going to come back home.
*** Surprise.
These few chapters are a prequel to the one shot 'I tried...and failed' that I wrote whenever I wrote it.
Of course I can't convey this well but the way I thought about how this went down...I actually cried while writing it.
If I ruined your heart, I'm very sorry. It had to be done.
Olivia...I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.***
-Dee