The Plastics
I had to hand it to her; Delilah knew what she was doing. It was like the university and its inhabitants were her puppets in a vast curtained stage. Anything she said traveled at the speed of light and morphed into
beasts only she could tame.
In only a few weeks, I was shed of the big red A and handed a pink shirt to wear on Wednesdays. I was one of them now, shiny lip gloss, bouncing hair, and a presence that demanded eyes as our group strutted through the campus.
And I liked it.
Over that two week period in which I was the subject of her wrath, I felt myself slowly warping into someone I never wanted to be.
She was manipulative and passive aggressive with a bite she kept under a
sweet smile until you got just in reach. She was someone who kept me up at night, whispering in my ear. I could tell already that tonight was going to be another tally under the column that says, 'Sleepless.'
I stared up at the ceiling, the darkness circling around me like a swarm of sharks. Swimming around me, lulling my mind into a place I found it frequently lately, a place I tried to push back because I had to
convince myself I didn't care.
But here I went... drifting. I was back sitting with Delilah on that bench, picking up my phone and dialing Wyatt's number. I stared
back into Delilah's mismatched eyes as I pressed the cool plastic to my ear and listened to it ring twice before he picked up. He was hopeful.
"Noelle?" he asked, his voice quiet, breathy. I hesitated, staring into Delilah's blue eye, her brown eye somehow more intimidating.
"Noelle?"
"Wyatt... I... I..." I drifted off, my mouth dry. I smacked my lips, wondering where the moisture went.
"Are you okay? You haven't talked to me in weeks. What's going on?" he asked, his voice louder, more confident. Delilah grabbed my hand, nodding at me in encouragement, a slight twitch quirking her glossy lips
into a knowledgeable smirk.
"Can you do it?" I asked her, my voice cracking.
"What?" Wyatt asked as Delilah shook her head rapidly.
"You can do this," she whispered to me encouragingly, squeezing the hand she held. She barely spoke, like she didn't want him to hear her.
"Noelle, what's going on?" Wyatt asked, sounding scared now. "Are... are you hurt?"
"No..." I hesitated again. "But... Wyatt... I don't know how..."
"You don't love me anymore... do you?" he interrupted me. I froze in shock, my mouth hanging open as a soft, dry, gasp slowly escaped my throat. There was a few minutes of silence before I could even think to answer.
I stared hard into Delilah's blue eye, focussing so that I could disconnect myself from this situation, so I could convince myself it wasn't real.
"No, I don't," I said, my throat tightening. It hurt to speak, the air rubbing my insides raw like razor blades. I tried to gulp, to coat my throat with relief, but none was there. I was vulnerable, and the pain was only getting
worse. Wyatt cleared his throat.
"Oh... okay. That's... that's fine," he said, his voice forced into a stiff tone. He cleared his throat again. "I... I apologize for any trouble I caused. Have... have a good day." And he hung up. I had heard it in his voice. I had taken his heart, his heart that he had so reluctantly and cautiously opened up to me, and ripped it apart. But I had to do it. I know I had to do it. If I didn't, Delilah would have destroyed both of us.
I would have gone insane, and he would have lost his livelihood, his credibility, his everything. But there was more to it. What Delilah had said about there being other girls, or at least one other, it made me scared that maybe my worst fears were real. That I was just this naive little girl to him and nothing more.
I groaned, sitting up and rubbing my hands over my face. I was trying so hard to escape him, but his clear green eyes and wide radiant smile swam around me just like the sharks of those memories.
I craved to hear the voice I hadn't in so long, and touch the hand that I forgotten the warmth of. I left it all to make things better, but I felt like it was only getting worse. I felt like I was slowly drowning in a sea full of other people who just couldn't see me, and those who cared were so far in the distant all
I heard were their voices faintly calling my name. And every time I tried to call back, salty water filled my mouth and choked me; salty water of the consequences of letting them save me.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and looked at the alarm clock. It was four forty five. My eyes slid to my charging phone, the one who had been devoid of Wyatt's presence for too long, but not as devoid as I
was.
I had gotten calls from my mom and dad and sister, all questioning what was going on since thatrumour spread. I didn't tell them anything except it was quieting down. Then there were my new best friends, texting me to meet them places or snapshot updates on the latest drama that they most likely caused.
Then my eyes slid to my surroundings, to my closet and dresser, to my school books and extra curricular items, and I suddenly realized that it wasn't just inside that I was changing. My marks have dropped from excellent to satisfactory, my clothes have gotten darker, and I barely touched my camera anymore other than for work.
Work... Maya and the others sensed a change in me, I think, and we all kind of... kept distant from each other. It was like I was taken from the world I knew, the one I loved, and dropped into an alien one where I felt more alone than I ever had.
I looked from my things and rose to my feet, walking out of my room to the main suite. My roommates still had their doors closed, probably still getting their nice full rest. I stared at their doors for a few seconds,
standing in the darkness between the couches and chairs, until the chill sneaking up my spine was too much for me to handle. Then I went to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
-------------------------->.<
I was a storm, strutting with a façade of confidence all those around me fell for. I walked alone, but it was like I walked with the other wolves in my pack. The weak avoided looking at me, moving so far away that some even changed their route to wherever they were going just to avoid me. But I was bathing in it. I was bathing in it like
I was a cat lounging in the sun on the hot stone floor of an immaculate, solitary, garden. It had occurred to me as more time passed that no one was ever going to fuck with me again if I let Delilah do her magic, if I conformed to what she needed me to be. So I dropped myself, leaving my insides empty
and barren to be filled with the new girl I didn't know. But I did have one weakness, and he was walking along the path right toward me.
His eyes were paler than I remembered, bright in the blistering spring sun. They glowed with a fierce determination as they locked on mine, unwavering even as I exuded an aura of don't-fuck-with-me. He
wouldn't back down. I might be the storm, but he was the whole fucking sky.
He stopped me in my tracks, standing in my path like he was planted there, a stone growing from the hard earth with roots that went down thousands of miles. I let him stop me, staring straight back at him with a sneer of distaste and annoyance. I could feel the bite crawling up my throat, but his was faster.
"We need to talk. You owe me some explanations," he said sharply, his gaze cold and his expression hard. He was back to the character I spilled coffee all over at the beginning of the first term, but probably worse.
"I don't owe you anything. This is over, so move on. Deal with your issues on your own," I snapped at him, moving to stride past him. He moved in my way again. We were an inch closer.
"Who the fuck do you think you are? You can't just walk off without confronting me. That's not how life works. That's not how this works," he yelled at me. I narrowed my eyes, aware people were staring as they walked past.
"Why? Had other plans for me? Was I supposed to fall into your trap? Sweet, little, Noelle-"
"What are you talking about? What trap?" he asked, brow knitting up as defensive pain flashed through his eyes. I glared, pissed off.
"The trap you set for that other innocent girl just like me. The trap that even Mr Charlton knew about. Delilah told me about her, Wyatt," I growled at him. He stared at me in shock, his eyes wide.
I huffed, looking
away for a second. "I wondered why you never talked about your past, but now I know. I know I'm just a naive little girl for you to take advantage of until you get bored, and I know I'm just a plaything. I know you
never took this seriously, because Delilah and Maya told me you were so in love with her that you sacrificed everything. I know myself I'm not worth any sacrifice. and you know it too. So please keep me out of your
stupid ego trips from now on, okay?"
I pushed past him, walking swiftly away. He was frozen, still standing back behind me, letting me get further and further away. A part of me screamed for two things. Either I should run back or he should run after me. But the new Noelle pushed that down. She knew what was going to happen. I was going to keep moving on my way and he was going to let me go, because the game was over. He had been compromised.