"I'm not afraid to feel, I want you to love me." - HIM
"You sure you're gonna be fine?" Roman asked.
"Ro, you live like... Fifteen minutes away? I can yell if I need." I shook my head and chuckled. "But, really, I call you if I need anything. And I bet Seth, Leigh, Punk and AJ will be texting each five minutes to make sure I'm alright."
"It's just the first time you're staying anywhere else than one of our houses, so... We get a bit worried." He smiled. "You're our little girl, y'know."
"I know. And I love you guys for taking care of me. But now Stephen is on the list too. He won't hurt me. He loves me."
"We know that." Roman grinned. "It's just because it's the first time you're staying at his house."
"We've been darting for almost two months now, what do you expect?" I chuckled.
"Promise you won't get back pregnant?"
"Roman!" I slapped his arm playfully and laughed, before parking the car in front of Stephen's house.
"I'm just kidding, but be careful, alright? I love you." He hugged me.
"I love you too, Ro." I hugged him back, before kissing his cheek.
Roman was 'in charge' of taking me to Stephen's house today, and I'd stay for the weekend. It'd be the first time I'd spend the night, instead of going back to Roman's, and, well, all of them, being overprotective, wanted to make sure I'd be fine. By this time, there was five texts from them. He helped me with my bags, and walked me to the door, so I knocked on it, and within seconds, Stephen opened it.
"Hey." I smiled and pecked his lips.
"Hey, babe." He smiled, before hugging me. "Hey, Roman."
"Hello." Roman nodded.
"So, you wanna come in, too?" Stephen asked.
"No, just bringing Lay and all. I'm going now." He gave Stephen a small smile before hugging me again. "Take care, uh?" He kissed my forehead and looked at Stephen. "Take care of her. Bye."
"Bye, Ro, love you."
"Love you too." He smiled as he got in his car, and we watched as he left, before going inside.
"They think I'm gonna do what?" Stephen chuckled, taking my bags and walking me to the living room. "Punk called like ten minutes ago telling me to take care of you, otherwise he'd kill me. Are you gonna run away or burn something down?" He chuckled.
"You see, I'm a dangerous psychotic girl, and if nobody watches me, I might go out and kill somebody." I chuckled.
"It's not really a problem then, you're not getting off of my sight." He said softly, holding on my hips and bringing me closer to him.
"Really? I might hurt you too, you better watch out."
"I know you won't do that." He started kissing me softly.
"Yeah? How?" I asked in between the kisses.
"You love me too much to hurt me."
"Love hurts, you know that, right?" I chuckled.
"I wouldn't mind letting you hurt me." And with this, he brought me even closer to him, as I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him hard.
When I realized, we were in the couch, he had taken his shirt off and was about to take mine, when I stopped kissing him.
"What's wrong?" He asked, looking down at me with a smile.
"I'm a bit nervous." I whispered, looking away.
"Hey..." He held my chin carefully, making me look at him. "We won't do it if you don't want to."
"I want. But..."
"What are you afraid of?"
"I don't know." But I knew. I was afraid of him not being the one. What if I was wrong? I was also confused that I was thinking about it... I loved him, right?
"I will wait until you're ready, okay?" He kissed my lips softly.
"Thanks." I smiled and kissed him back.
"Then... What are we gonna do the whole afternoon?"
"Were you planning to have sex the whole afternoon?" I laughed.
"Eh... Y'know..." He blushed slightly.
"Does it really last that long?"
"Sometimes." He shrugged.
"Oh my God."
"It could be quicker on your first time, so..."
"I won't be able to walk." I laughed.
"Not to brag, but..." He shook his head. "It would... At least hurt." He chuckled. "But how do you know?"
"AJ and I talk about sex, you know. Let me just say that I know everything about her wild nights with Phil Brooks." I winked.
"Oh, so you'd have some ideas for ours too." He smirked.
"Who knows..." I smirked too.
"Damn, you're making me hard." He kissed my neck.
"Not here." I whispered, and he looked at me.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I'd rather do it in your room."
"No," he chuckled. "you sure you want it?"
"Yes." I smiled and pecked his lips.
Stephen gave me a long kiss, wrapping his arms around me and taking me to his room. Carefully, he laid me down on his bed, and then he laid on the top of me.
He was soft, gentle, caring. Before consuming it, he looked at me, asking for permission, and I smiled at him in response. It hurt a lot, but soon it was replaced by a different kind of pleasure, and we hit climax together. It all seemed so... Amazing, and describing it in words seemed so superficial. So perfect and yet... It felt weird for me. The thing about him not being the one came to my mind again and I tried to ignore it, convincing myself that this was our first time, so this is why I didn't feel that... Good.
He crashed by my side, a smile on his face as he tried to breath. I laid my head on his chest.
"You probably left marks on my back. It better disappear before Monday, or Hunter will kill me." He chuckled, before kissing my hair and bringing me closer to him. "I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too." But those words echoed inside my head... Did I?
-x-x-x-
"Steph?" I called, tapping the empty spot beside me. No answer. I stood up and grabbed one of his shirts, putting it on and walking to the living room. "Steph?" I called again.
"Kitchen." He replied. He sounded a bit... Raspy? No, just my imagination, yes.
I walked towards the kitchen and smiled. He looked at me up and down, and after a few seconds, smiled as well.
"It has your smell, and it's comfy." I chuckled, hugging myself. "I'll get a hoodie too, just you wait."
"You can." He smiled, walking towards me.
"I'll have to get used to see you naked." I chuckled. Indeed, it felt a bit uncomfortable. Reason why I got his shirt to cover my body.
"I can put my boxers on if you want." He kissed me softly.
"Nah, no problems." I smiled. "So, what are we gonna do now?"
"I made us dinner."
"Dinner time already?"
"Yup." He laughed.
"Then... Let's eat." I chuckled.
We had a quick dinner, before I heard my phone ringing. "Fuck." I mumbled, walking to the living room and taking my cellphone. "Yeah?"
"Why didn't you answer?! We all have been calling you since you got there! You will never again be away from us!"
"Phil, calm down, I was just sleeping." I chuckled.
"The whole afternoon?!"
"I can explain everything later, it's not the best time..."
"Oh, you fucked. AJ, they fucked. I will kill him." I heard AJ laughing and telling him to give her the phone. "AJ wants to talk to you. Don't think you're free, missy, we'll have a serious conversation really soon. Get me?"
"Alright, daddy." I rolled my eyes. "Love you."
"Love you too." He sighed, and I guess AJ took the phone. "You're officially a woman!" She yelled, and I laughed. "Details. I demand details." I heard Punk yelling 'April!' and she probably slapped his arm.
"Monday. I swear I'll give you all the details you want. Just make sure to calm Punk down, otherwise he'll kill my boyfriend."
"He won't." She laughed.
"Hey, babe, call Seth and Roman to tell them I'm okay? I gotta go now. Just don't tell them yet."
"Fucking again?" She teased. "Alright, I'll call them. Use condoms. Call me tomorrow morning. I see you Monday."
"Alright, alright. Love you, okay?"
"Love you too."
I hung up and looked back to see Stephen smiling, sitting on the couch, now with his boxers on.
"Movie night?" I chuckled.
"Sure. Star Wars?"
"Yes!" I smiled. "I'm gonna take some blankets."
--
{originally published jun 24, 2016}