Chapter 3
Carmen Ramirez
That's all they talked about on Monday. Carmen's body, the upcoming funeral, her horrified parents, Ian giving a second statement. I couldn't escape their talk or whispers in the hallway, street, Leo's. She was dead, yet everywhere.
When Ian left me on the curb that night, I drove to Lacey's house and spent the night as planned. I just couldn't focus on Victoria's victorious date with Liam, or Tess's gushy gossip. I had more than one thing on my mind; I kissed Ian. He could be a criminal. They found the girls body. Carmen's body. And they will soon find out the killer. And it could be Ian. I believe its not him when I'm with him, but now...I just don't know. I feel scared and weak, but mostly scared for what could happen to him, and what might happen to me. Would I be able to let go of this guy? If I found out he killed Carmen...would that be the end of my feelings towards him? Will I just suddenly forget everything that I ever felt for him and move on, like nothing even happened? No. And that's what I was scared of most.
Monday was terrible, but Tuesday was even worse. I hadn't heard from Ian since our date, he didn't talk to me or make eye contact. He wasn't in school and his bike wasn't parked in the driveway. So I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. A women answered, and she didn't look old enough to be a grandma. She was surprised to see a human at her doorstep. Guess Ian Corelli doesn't get a lot of visitors, or have friends over.
"Hello, um...is Ian here?" I smiled while praying over and over in my mind that he would be.
"Are you a journalist? Look we told you to leave us alone, I have legal rights! Get the hell off my -"
"No! I'm not, I'm not a journalist! My name is Serenity, I live across from you. I swear, I'm his friend and I need to talk to him - its important."
She stared at me in disbelief. I noticed she looked nothing like him, she had light blonde hair, pale blue eyes with tired bags underneath.
"He doesn't have friends." She scrutinized me, looking for something.
"We might be more than friends I-I don't know but all I know is I need to talk to him, please." I begged her.
She suddenly gasped, her hands flying to her mouth, "Oh my god, did he get you pregnant?"
I sighed in exasperation, "Ma'am with all due respect, why cant you believe that I'm here to see your son just because I want to, because I'm worried sick about him and I need to see him or I wont ever, ever move on." At that point I was desperate, tears almost breaking our of my eyes. Her face softened and then she started crying.
She let me in and I followed her to a kitchen table. "I don't know where he is, he didn't come back from the police station when I went to pick him up. I waited at home for hours, nothing. I think he went to see his dad in California, but its just a hope." She sobbed.
My heart sunk, I couldn't breathe. He left. Without saying bye to me. Just like that. I was nothing to him, that one kiss - it didn't matter to him like it did to me. I'm an idiot, but that's not why I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot because I'm still worried about him, even if he left without a goodbye. I'm still scared for him and I still miss him.
"I didn't know about his dad...I didn't even know about you. He just told me he lives with his grandmother." I said quietly, tracing the veins that went up my arms.
"We do, we live with my mom. She took us in. I've been dying to move out of here for ages, small town and everyone thinking my son is a criminal. I didn't wana go through that again -" She suddenly stopped talking and wiped her tears away.
"I forgot I have to go pick up something from the market before Mom gets here. You better go, Serenity, was it?" She swiftly got up, her hair hiding her pretty, exhausted face and turned her back to me, looking for something.
I awkwardly got up and walked to the door. "Oh and, I'll let you know if I hear from him." She called out to me. I nodded, smiled once, then ran all the way to my room where I could burst into tears without humiliating myself.
Turns out I was wrong, Wednesday was definitely the worst day. Knowing Ian was no longer here and having to hear about Carmen all day long. Is it healthy to be jealous of a dead person? I was. They talked about their relationship on the news everyday, they talked about how much she loved him and how he treated her in public. Her parents were interviewed and they said many things about him. Ian leaving to California was illegal. He wasn't allowed to leave the state or city while he was still a suspect in the ongoing case. So him leaving like this, its basically telling everyone that he's running away because he's guilty. But I didn't believe that. Ian ran away because it just kept getting worse and worse for him. On Thursday the girl's noticed my mood change.
"Like what's wrong with you, you've been acting weird since they found the body and you didn't even know her. Are you, like afraid to die or something cause its like, safe here. This is the first murder scene we had in like, fifty years." Tess said, while texting and chewing her gum annoyingly.
"I kind of noticed too, you're so lifeless its like you're there but not really. Are you okay?" Lacey pressed.
"I'm just, I miss my old home I guess. I'm homesick." I lied.
"Aw, well we've tried our best to make you feel welcome here I mean I know its not Florida but can you find friends like us there?" Victoria grinned, trying to lighten the mood. Which sadly didn't work.
"It's not about you guys I'm so thankful I met you, you're all so kind, its just...I liked a boy from there and he recently left without saying bye to me." I blurted.
They all gasped, big, big mistake. "Oh my god, was he hot like those Miami surfer type of dudes?" Tess asked. I rolled my eyes.
"It doesn't matter, he's gone anyways. No last goodbye or anything." I sighed.
"He didn't even break up with you first. What an asshole." Vick frowned, lightly patting my back.
"We weren't really...official you know? It just happened...and I thought we were going somewhere but then..." I trailed off not knowing how to complete.
"But then you moved here and things went downhill. I can see why you hate it here so much." Lacey finished for me, brilliant Lacey!
"Yeah...exactly. I guess he couldn't handle long distance." I rubbed my temples with my fingers. "I don't wana talk about it anymore, its been days now. I'll get over it." I smiled convincingly, and they returned to talking and me listening. That's how it went until Saturday. If I fake smiled, no one would ask me what's wrong. And I put on quite a show.
Saturday was pretty lonely. I lay in my bed, hugging my favorite novel to my chest and thinking about the kiss. The way he pulled me towards him, the chills running up and down my spine. My rapid heart beats, fireworks in my stomach. How could he have not felt that? I wiped a tear from my eye and turned off the lights. There was no use, he's gone now...just not his memory.
I didn't want the weekend to end, I wanted to hide out under my covers all day so I wouldn't have to hear about Carmen or anything related to Ian and that murder. My phone started ringing and just as I was about to press ignore I realized it was an unknown number. I didn't answer any of the girl's calls, afraid if they would try to get me out or something. I answered anyways.
"Hello?" I wiped my nose on my sleeve, oh god whoever it was now knows I'm crying or sick.
"Serenity?" My heart dropped. I almost dropped the phone and I felt chills.
"I-Ian?" I stammered.
"Yeah its me, look I know what you're thinking and before you call the police, I wasn't running away, I just needed to see my father before they lock me up again for something I didn't do. I'm at the bar I took you to last week, in disguise." He said all in one breath.
"...I wasn't going to say that. I knew you were tired of everything and wanted to start new. Why didn't you say bye to me." I sighed.
"How could I? I couldn't ruin it..." he trailed off.
"Ruin what? You scared me to death, I even talked to your mother about it."
"You what? Are you serious, god!" Oops.
"Listen, I'll be there as fast as I can don't move, see you soon Drake." I hung up, grabbed my bag and ran to the driveway. Mom was in the shower and I had no time to explain, I took the car keys and drove as fast and as safely as I could to the bar.
My mind was buzzing on the way there, just random thoughts going in and out of my mind. I couldn't believe I was seconds away from staring into those eyes that had an unexplainable depth. Parking my car the same spot we parked the last time we came here, I got out and power walked to the dark alley. I could see the blue light flickering on and off on the broken bar sign as I took a right. When I got inside, I couldn't see him. The bar was almost empty too, no band, only three people drinking. My heart sunk. I hesitantly went up to the bartender to ask him if he'd seen him.
"He just left a couple minutes ago, you must've missed him while coming up here." Damn it. I sadly walked out, hands in my pockets. I never felt so disappointed, I could hear my rapid heart beats slowly dying down and it hurt so, so much. Maybe he was mad at me for speaking to his mom. I took a right, and slowly walked out of the alley until someone grabbed by hand and slammed me against the wall.
"I don't forgive you for talking to my mom but I missed you Angel." He said. Ian said. My heart started pounding again.
"Well you better, or I wont forgive you for leaving without a goodbye or attempting to shatter my vertebrae." I rubbed my back then carefully added, "And...I missed you too." I could see his evil grin in the dark, and he leaned in to kiss me again. I was flying, touching the clouds, grabbing the stars, dancing on the moon!
"In a couple hours I'm going to be arrested." He whispered. I frowned.
"No...not if you don't go back." Don't know where that came from.
"If I don't go back everyone will think I'm guilty...besides I'm not running away." He muttered stubbornly.
"Can we just go somewhere private and talk, please?"
"Sure I know a forest up ahead, pretty isolated. Just the usual Saturday family picnickers, other than that its always empty." He took my hand and pulled me in front of him. When we got out in the bright daylight I realized he was wearing a beanie hat and his hair was tied up inside it. He also had black shades on. Incognito.
After twenty minutes we got to a forest with the tallest trees I'd ever seen. The leaves were all a yellowish green. We got out of the car and he pulled me deeper inside, where we sat on a crescent shaped boulder. He took off his hat and shade, let his hair loose and even pulled off his jacket. He was wearing a dark navy tee-shirt underneath. Just then I noticed bruises all over his arms. I gasped loudly.
"What happened to you, where did you go and what happened?" I took his arms into my hands and stared. He pulled the away, stiffening up.
"Nothing just a fight." He looked straight ahead to nowhere, lost in his own thoughts.
"What fight?" I pressed.
"Not a big deal, all that matters is I'm here. For now." He tried changing the subject but I didn't respond. I wanted answers. He sighed impatiently.
"Why are you making a big deal out of it Serenity! Just a fight with some old neighborhood assholes. Jeez."
"I can tell when you're lying or telling a half truth you know. And you are now." I got up, crossing my hands in front of my chest.
He signed, desperately. And it was the first time I saw him like this, wounded and weak., his eyes begging. "She could to and look where she is now." The silence was deafening.
"Who?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.
"Carmen. She knew when I was lying...you remind me of her." He put his face in his hands. And I thought he would start to cry but nothing happened.
"She's dead Ian. Don't compare me to her." I snapped, then regretted it instantly after he looked up at me. "I-I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm just so tired okay! Everyone is talking about her, the death, you. Ever since they found the body I didn't sleep well, or eat! I don't know what to do." I exploded, then shortly after that burst into tears. Such a cry baby.
"It's my fault for bringing you in this. You should go Serenity. Just go and forget about me the best you could or better yet, get your mom to move far away from here. I'm no good for you." He said, his eyes sincere, body still., waiting for my next move. I wiped my tears and grabbed both of his hands.
"I cant." I whispered. "No matter how complicated it gets, nothing is harder than leaving you." He got up and hugged me tightly.
"No one can know about this. I want you safe, and out of all these media and police problems. What if the murderer is some crazy psycho whose out to kill all my girlfriends?" He said, while I was still in his warm embrace.
"Okay, fine. But you'll get through this. The killer will be revealed, I know it." I reassured him.