The Addict & The Addiction

Chapter 3: Carmen Ramirez

  

                                                                                                                                                                  Chapter 3 

Carmen Ramirez

That's all they talked about on Monday. Carmen's body, the upcoming funeral, her horrified parents, Ian giving a second statement. I couldn't escape their talk or whispers in the hallway, street, Leo's. She was dead, yet everywhere.  

When Ian left me on the curb that night, I drove to Lacey's house and spent the night as planned. I just couldn't focus on Victoria's victorious date with Liam, or Tess's gushy gossip. I had more than one thing on my mind; I kissed Ian. He could be a criminal. They found the girls body. Carmen's body. And they will soon find out the killer. And it could be Ian. I believe its not him when I'm with him, but now...I just don't know. I feel scared and weak, but mostly scared for what could happen to him, and what might happen to me. Would I be able to let go of this guy? If I found out he killed Carmen...would that be the end of my feelings towards him? Will I just suddenly forget everything that I ever felt for him and move on, like nothing even happened? No. And that's what I was scared of most.  

Monday was terrible, but Tuesday was even worse. I hadn't heard from Ian since our date, he didn't talk to me or make eye contact. He wasn't in school and his bike wasn't parked in the driveway. So I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. A women answered, and she didn't look old enough to be a grandma. She was surprised to see a human at her doorstep. Guess Ian Corelli doesn't get a lot of visitors, or have friends over.  

"Hello, um...is Ian here?" I smiled while praying over and over in my mind that he would be. 

"Are you a journalist? Look we told you to leave us alone, I have legal rights! Get the hell off my -"  

"No! I'm not, I'm not a journalist! My name is Serenity, I live across from you. I swear, I'm his friend and I need to talk to him - its important." 

She stared at me in disbelief. I noticed she looked nothing like him, she had light blonde hair, pale blue eyes with tired bags underneath.  

"He doesn't have friends." She scrutinized me, looking for something. 

"We might be more than friends I-I don't know but all I know is I need to talk to him, please." I begged her.  

She suddenly gasped, her hands flying to her mouth, "Oh my god, did he get you pregnant?"  

I sighed in exasperation, "Ma'am with all due respect, why cant you believe that I'm here to see your son just because I want to, because I'm worried sick about him and I need to see him or I wont ever, ever move on." At that point I was desperate, tears almost breaking our of my eyes. Her face softened and then she started crying.  

She let me in and I followed her to a kitchen table. "I don't know where he is, he didn't come back from the police station when I went to pick him up. I waited at home for hours, nothing. I think he went to see his dad in California, but its just a hope." She sobbed.  

My heart sunk, I couldn't breathe. He left. Without saying bye to me. Just like that. I was nothing to him, that one kiss - it didn't matter to him like it did to me. I'm an idiot, but that's not why I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot because I'm still worried about him, even if he left without a goodbye. I'm still scared for him and I still miss him. 

"I didn't know about his dad...I didn't even know about you. He just told me he lives with his grandmother." I said quietly, tracing the veins that went up my arms.