Harry Styles
My head was a mess for two days now and there was nothing that made me feel better. When people said space and time helps, they fucking bullshited because all it did was frustrate me further. To the point, where I couldn't deal with it on my own anymore and therefore had to reach out for help.
That was where Levi came in and his idea of the pub as a hang out place.
I went there after work in work attire which made me look out of place but the thought of having to go home to change and then come back to town was too much effort. I forced a smile on my face when my eyes locked on the waiter and he nodded towards me then let out a heavy sigh as I grabbed my glass, filled with the deep red coloured cider. The lights in the pub reflected off of my Rolex as I lifted the drink to my lips and took a sip then looked down at my watch to realise my best friend was five minutes late.
I held my phone up so I could unlock it through the face recognition option as opposed to typing my password in and clicked on my texts. The folder was empty so it made no sense as to why I opened it. Then again, the slight hope that Kensington would reach out did light on fire at the back of my mind. She was terrible at that.
In a way, I felt bad for what I told her a couple of days ago in her office but in reality, that was the truth. That was how I felt and she had to know. Everyone had doubts and that did not excuse me from having them. With someone as unpredictable and hard to read as her, I was bound to feel this way sooner or later.
What felt like the cherry on top was her reaction to it all. She looked upset and sort of offended but that was really only for a split second which I could have missed with literally one blink. She recollected herself fast and it felt like one of the walls I have successfully got rid of these past couple of weeks, began to build back up again. For now, it was a thin base but I wondered how long it would take her to finish it.
I jolted in my seat when I heard the chair that was across from me move then a leather wallet was thrown on the table. A pair of hands leaned on the hard surface with a massive watch around one of their wrists. The familiar cologne fanned my face with the sudden gust of air that his arrival stirred up and I found myself taking a deep breath as my eyes travelled up to his slightly flushed face.
"Mate, I'm so sorry," he began. "I left my phone home then I had to go back to get it to realise my wallet was on the table, too, then there was traffic," Levi explained and I nodded to show it was alright and I understood.
"It's fine, don't worry about it," I said. "Did you order anything?"
"No... fuck, I'll just do it through the app. I'm driving, anyway," he shrugged as he got out his phone to place his order. "So, tell me what's up."
"Eh, just a bunch of shit piled up on my shoulders..."
"Oh, yeah? I reckon that's with everyone around here," he chuckled and kept his eyes on his phone. He asked me what table we sat at then thanked me when I mumbled a quiet six. Soon enough, he was done with it and locked it before he placed it facing down. "Is it work stuff? Renleigh stuff?"
"I guess you could say both," I rubbed my eye with the heel of my palm which caused me to see stars then ran my hand through my hair. "Plus... someone pretty close to me passed away as well so that's been fucking me up a bit."
"Shit, that's... I'm so sorry, pal, I didn't know... are you okay? How are you dealing with it?"
"Eh. The funeral is on Sunday."
"Three days from now... damn. Do you want me to go with you? You know, moral support and all," he offered and I inhaled deeply. Kensington was meant to come with me.
"I appreciate the thought but I think I'll be fine," I let him know. "It's a bit weird, really."
"Yeah, I bet," he sighed. "What happened to her or him?"
"It was a him and, um, he took his own life."
"Fuck... that's horrible, mate," he said in a shocked state. It was a lot for me to digest, too. A waitress came out soon enough with the drink Levi ordered so that broke up our conversation for a few seconds.
"Yeah, I'm kind of unsure how I feel about it all. I cried about it and now I just feel... empty. I don't know. I'm more confused than anything. Especially with Kensington and her strange mind."
"Why? What's up with her?"
"Basically, we agreed on this... deal thing, where I can take her out for a whole month and then see where we end up. I confronted her about it the other day, like, I pretty much asked her if she would still want to be with me after this month ends because I had doubts."
"To which she said...?"
"She kicked me out," I scoffed as I took another sip of my drink. "She told me she had a meeting to overlook or whatever the fuck."
"So, what does that mean?"
"It either means she will stop seeing me once our deal is up or she will continue seeing me but is afraid to tell me."
"Which one sounds more legit to you?"
"Honestly?" I asked. With everything that happened between us, I genuinely had no clue. The way she cared for me, made me want to believe the latter but overall, I just had a gut feeling that she wouldn't want me longer than she had to deal with me. "I have no fucking idea, mate. None."
"Do you want to know what I think?"
"Go on."
"I think you are both confused. Like, you told me she likes to keep to herself and based on how private she is, I feel like this is weird for her, you know? From what the news say about her, she hasn't been in a relationship since forever, she's pretty much a loner, isn't she? And, like, when I spoke to her the other day at the golf course, she was kind of... shy. She didn't really want to open up to me – I had to force that awkward first conversation," he chuckled under his breath and I smiled softly.
"That's so weird to hear because she is never that shy around me."
"Oh, I can tell she isn't because she had no problem putting April in her place," he said with a smug grin. "Swear to god, I have not seen anyone get that mouthy with her other than us lot. But she knows us so we can never shut her up."
"So, overall then... do you reckon she'll fuck off after this month?"
"I think she might stay. How long have you been seeing her? Like, almost a month? You were definitely all over her since that charity thing you tried to drag me to," he laughed. Right. So, maybe I tried to make him be my plus one but I ended up with Celia. "From an outsider's point of view, I think she is really comfortable around you. I don't think you've noticed, but the whole day we spent together, she always had her eyes on you and stayed close – close enough to not spark your attention but to be able to keep hers on you. I don't know how to explain it."
"I definitely didn't think that," I told him honestly.
"Obviously. You were too in your head that day," he said. "After lunch, she seemed so much more... willing to talk. At least, when I went up to her after she hit the ball perfectly to compliment her on it, she seemed to be more okay with talking to me. I don't know. You did go after her once you sorted April out so you may have said something to her that calmed her down or whatever. I just reckon you two are good for each other, you know?"
"How?"
"Well, for one, you said she is eating better and apparently she added breaks to her days?" I nodded. It was nice to know Levi actually remembered the stuff I told him because Lord knows I chatted a lot of shit, especially when it came to Kensington. "That's your influence on her, then."
"So how is she good for me then? Because lately, I just feel like everything is stressing me the fuck out."
"Mate, you called me more just this past week than you have all last month," he laughed as he took a sip of his drink. "She kind of brought my best friend back, you know? Like, sure, we talked before all of this but the only thing you really did was attend all these work events to get pissed and then end up in bed with that woman. Now, don't get me wrong, I loved that for you but in all honesty, I prefer this side of you."
"What side?" I asked him in confusion. I didn't know I had a side or that he preferred one to the other.
"The more put-together side."
"That makes no sense, but okay," I laughed. "Anyway. I don't know what to do with her. I asked her on a date before we got to all of this and she didn't exactly say yes. So, I don't know if I should ask again or wait for her to text me or if I should just leave it."
"Did she say no to the date?"
"She said she'll let me know..."
"So, leave it to her to let you know."
"But she's so shit at texting or calling or anything that's to do with interacting with other humans unless it's business. I genuinely feel like she forgot I even asked."
"Then call her," he shrugged. "What bad could that do?"
"Lead us to another argument?"
"Look, you said so yourself that she is a tough one to crack. She has many walls built up around her to keep herself safe. Let's take this literally and answer this question for me – are you really going to just destroy all her hard work and then leave the ruins for her to deal with by herself? Because I'm telling you now that if you plan to do that, she will never trust you ever again. Or anyone, for that matter."
"How would you know that, Levi?"
"Because mate," he laughed. "You tell me everything. I literally feel like I know your girl better than you, at this point. She's putting her trust in you and if you leave now – if you stop talking to her, reaching out, pushing her the way you have been – then she will just go back to how she was before all of this... whatever you two have going on. Yes, it may be annoying you now that she is so reluctant when it comes to you and she is not giving as much as you want her to, but for someone who – according to you – is so damaged, I reckon she's doing her best. Obviously, I don't know for sure, I haven't talked to her about anything that would make me believe that statement any more or less. But come on... you know you want her, no matter how much work she is. I know you do."
"It's not that... of course, I want her. She's fucking amazing, Levi. I genuinely feel like I- like I could... love her. I know this is way past just simply liking her. I just don't want to end up broken because she won't be able to reciprocate my feelings or anything."
"You can't force her, that's obvious. So, just let her fall for you, mate. You are easy to love, honest," he smiled. "If Renleigh won't end up liking you at least, then clearly there is something wrong with her. You put so much effort into making sure she is okay and all the dates you've taken her on, have been well thought out and you never said anything negative about any of them to me once they were over. You're a nice lad, you only have love to give, so much of it. Perhaps that's why you feel so lost and confused."
"Why?"
"Because she's sucking all this attention, all this love and care out of you. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just shows that she does need you, maybe more than she lets on."
"God, how the fuck do you know all this shit?" I asked him as I chuckled and drank from my glass. "I swear, you're like a relationship adviser or some shit."
"Yeah, I mean, I have had my fair share of people moaning to me about their significant others. Reckon some of it stuck on me and now here I am," he grinned and I just shook my head. "So, are you going to call her?"
"I want to. But I don't know if I should."
"There is nothing wrong with reaching out if you miss someone or want to know what they are up to," he said. "It's fucking weird how people are scared of showing they care. Like, save all of us from suffering and just fucking pick up the phone to call or text. Really ain't that hard, is it?"
"When you say it like that, no, it isn't."
"Just do it," he smirked as he dared me and took a few large sips of his drink. "Go on, mate. Your phone is not gonna call her by itself."
"What if she won't pick up?"
"Then you call her later."
"What if she will pick up?"
"Then you talk to her," he laughed. "Jesus Christ, Harry. What the hell is wrong with you? You act like you've never called her before."
"I'm just nervous, bro... fuck. I don't know what to do anymore."
"Fucking call her before I smack some sense into you."
"Now?"
"Oh my god," he mumbled as he looked around. "Hey!" he called over one of the waiters.
"How can I help?"
"My mate here is scared of calling his girl to ask her on a date. Any tips?" he embarrassed me in front of the employee as he asked the question and my face went proper red. I kicked him under the table and he groaned before he gave me a stern look.
"Um... just call her? I mean, what could you possibly lose?"
"My point exactly!" Levi added. "Thanks, my man," he put his hand out for the lad who gave him a high five.
"No problem," he laughed. "Can I get you two anything else?"
"No, no, we're good," Levi said. "Thanks, though."
My heart picked up and I swear I heard it in my ear. I had no idea why it stressed me out so much when usually, I didn't think too much about calling her.
"Now, I don't like forcing people to do shit but if you won't do it then I'll make you," my friend told me seriously. "You obviously want her a lot and I know it's shitty how you don't see the future and what it holds. But maybe, if you just give her a call and ask how she is then bring up the date, you will feel better. After all, that is the same woman who you took home and allowed your siblings to meet. That is the same woman you went to Paris with – which is something I thought would never happen, seeing as you just fucked Celia but never actually took her anywhere."
"Celia was nothing more than my fuck buddy, that's why," I sighed. "That was so much easier than... this."
"I'm just going to pretend you didn't say that," he scoffed. "The fact that you are literally about to give up your future wife because your old fuck buddy – at least I hope she's in the past now that you're messing with Renleigh – was easier to get with, makes me wonder why I'm even your friend."
"I'm not giving her up and she is not my future wife. Fucking hell. People keep referring to her as my wife when she doesn't even wanna get married in the first place," I sighed in frustration as I let the information slip. Sure, I tell Levi a lot of things but I also save stuff for myself. Like, he doesn't know she came over when I got the news about my friend passing nor does he know about Kensington's shitty excuse of an ex.
"Is that something that bothers you?"
"No. I mean... I don't know. I'd love to get married someday."
"Well, you may be able to change her mind or something. If the right one – you – comes along, I'm sure she'd have a different view on this whole shebang. But for that to happen, you gotta keep ruining the walls she built around herself and build it back up once you're in. Otherwise, you might as well move the fuck out of the country, change your name and find someone else."
"Why do I gotta leave and change personality?"
He laughed under his breath before he replied. "Why not?"
"Can you call her for me?"
"The fuck?" he looked at me like I asked him to murder someone and I had to laugh. "Mate. Do you want to set me up with her? Because I wouldn't mind. She's fit and she makes more than I do so I would have a good life."
"Hey!" I said, offended. "Don't you even dare think about using her like that!" I warned him. "I just don't know what to do. I'm so fucking scared. I don't want her to reject me."
"You are overthinking this a fuck ton. But sure, give me your phone. I'll call my future girlfriend."
I groaned but ended up giving him the phone. He smirked at me and then I began to regret it. He was really gonna call her. Fuck. Why was I such a prick? Why couldn't I just call her and talk to her like usual? Why did she have to make me feel so unsure and intimidated?
"Hello? It's Levi... yes, Styles' friend," he laughed. Levi leaned back on his chair as he kept his eyes on me. His right hand held my phone as he propped his other arm under his elbow for comfort. "No, I was just wondering how you were... oh, really? That's cool. So, you have your own plane and shit? Yeah, he has a private one and I flew on it before. I just didn't think you did... no. No. Well, okay... you got me. I called because he's a pussy and he didn't- sorry, yes, you're right. Vaginas are incredible, I should know because I came out of one... so, basically- yes. You pretty much summarised it there," Levi laughed. I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched and listened to him. "So, would you want to go on a date with me?" I quickly sat up from my position, a frown on my face as I felt my jaw tighten and my hands ball into fists. "Ohhhh. Where would you take me? No, I didn't say when, I said where. But I mean if you give me a time and place, I'll be sure to go and-," he looked at me then again and I raised my eyebrow in curiosity. "Yes, he looks pretty mad at me. Do you want to talk to him? Although, don't mention that. He doesn't need to know. Okay... cool. That's fine. Yeah... I can email you my number for sure... mhm. Talk to you later... here you go mate," he grinned at me as he reached over the table and I rolled my eyes at him. Levi smirked before he picked up his drink and I placed the phone to my ear.
"Kensington."
"Oh, what a lovely surprise, Styles," her tone dripped from sarcasm and I just knew she had a smirk on her face.
"Shut up."
"Well, okay. Bye-,"
"No, wait!" I called quickly. Levi laughed across from me and I kicked him again.
"Bitch," he groaned. He then stood up and nodded towards the toilets.
"What is it?" she asked me.
"I just... did you think about the date?"
"Honest answer – no. I had no time."
"Oh," I sighed. "Well, what would your answer be now?"
"A maybe."
"So, no?" I asked back. "You can say no if you want."
"But you don't want me to say that, do you?" she mumbled more to herself than to me. "Look. I-, I will go to the funeral with you, okay? When is it?"
"That's not the date I was asking about but it's on Sunday."
"Fuck... I have to be in Italy by Monday morning. Is it gonna be in the morning or...?"
"I'm assuming so," I replied. "If you can't make it, that's fine. You do have a company to run, after all."
"Yeah, but I did say I would go with you."
"This wouldn't be the first time someone blows me off. Don't worry about it," I said with a faint smile on my lips. Although it made my heart sad, I couldn't really make her come if she wasn't going to be able to.
"Fuck you. You can't say that and then expect me to not go with you... gosh, you are guilt tripping me into this, aren't you?" she laughed. "Look. Okay. How about this... I go to the funeral and then, I don't know. You fly to Italy with me? So we can go on that date you want to take me on."
"Wait... for real?" I laughed.
"For real, for real," she confirmed. "That's only if you want to, though. I understand that funerals are pretty... sad. So, you might not be in the mood. I just won't have time until I'm back from the trip. Plus, we did leave stuff kind of... off. I don't know. I didn't like it, though."
"Yeah, I wasn't a fan of it, either," I admitted. "I'm with my friend now... well, you know I'm with Levi. But I can go now and we could talk? I don't know if you want that or if you're available..."
"I have some investors coming in for a meeting in twenty minutes so I'm kind of busy."
"Oh, right," I said. "Well..."
"The earliest I will see you is Sunday, I'm afraid," she sighed. In the background, I heard how she flicked through pages so I knew she looked at her diary. "Since I have missed a whole week, the more important meetings got rescheduled so I have to get them over and done with this week."
"Yeah, of course. I understand," I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "So, Sunday then, yeah? I'll go pick you up."
"Sure, whatever works for you. Just text me or something beforehand so I can be ready on time."
"Sounds like a plan."
"Pretty much," she said. "Alright, well, gotta go make some people happy and secure the bag, I guess. Talk to you on Sunday."
"Reckon I'll call you before but sure. Have fun, darling."
"I like my baby better but that'll do," was the last thing I heard before she ended the phone call and I found myself wanting to speed up the coming days just to be with her already.
• • •
a.n.
this was one of my favourite chapters simple bc of the way i wrote it and also bc it was a levi & harry chapter mainly. plus henleigh handled that conversation pretty smoothly and when they're nice to each other is always a bonus hehehe
one question tho — is the story dragging or boring or sumn??? i don't feel like there's as much interaction w it as there was at the start and idk if that's cos of school and work and whatever or if there's sumn else 😳
obvs i mainly write this story cos i want to and i'm not gonna stop updating just bc there's no comments on it or whatever but it is always nice to see and read what people think x