another update! remember to drop votes and comments, honies! they really keep me going.
•••
Breathe in.
My heart slowed as I took steps towards the cafeteria, as my mind still meditated on Mr. Sabbini's words.
Breathe out.
He was right. For someone who looked so young, he emulated so much wisdom that actually made sense.
Breathe in.
I would take his advice. And I would also not ignore what my psychologist told me. I had to take charge of the current changes that would be thrown at me.
Breathe out.
'Remember to breathe, Jones,' Mr. Sabbini had said. He had led me to his office after witnessing my breakdown and being the victim of my sudden logorrhea. 'Whenever you experience too many emotions at the same time, all you have to do is breathe, so as to keep calm.'
'Okay,' I had replied.
'I won't tell you much, because you're a case I have never handled before,' Mr. Sabbini had admitted.
A sense of dejection and defeat had washed over me at the time, and I had almost concluded that there was nothing he could say to make me feel better. I slumped in my seat.
But he continued talking. 'Trust your instincts. Your mind is quite unreliable right now, so you need to listen to your heart.'
I pondered over his statement before nodding slowly.
'The heart never forgets,' said Mr. Sabbini, and it had been the highlight of my day. 'And instincts never lie.'
He had given me a hallway pass to allow me to head to the office and explain my situation better, before asking for my schedule and locker placement and its combination.
I had walked out of that office feeling a bit confident and no longer as scared because I was set for today. I would try not to ask anyone anything. I would give off the ambiance of someone who knows exactly what they were doing as if they had done it for three years.
And so far, until lunchtime, it had worked. I had gone through the classes without looking as awkward, even though some tried to talk to me. I simply told them I wasn't feeling well.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
I stood in front of the double doors of the cafeteria's doors, which were still blue. That threw me off a bit because I thought they had changed the school colors. I shrugged it off.
I inhaled deeply. I had set my mind to take charge and be who my heart told me to be. I would set things straight, which included confronting my apparent best friend, Valerie Hawthorne.
I opened the door and the cafeteria had not changed much. People still sat in clique tables. Mrs. Dobby was still the old thin lunch lady. And the smell of cheese and onions still hung in the air.
I hastily scanned the tables, searching for the A-List one, and I easily found it when I saw someone waving frantically at me.
Valerie.
It was showtime.
As I trudged towards the table, I rehearsed what I was going to tell Valerie. Hey Valerie, I didn't like what you did in Homeroom today. You should've told me in advance that I had duties and asked if I still wanted to execute them instead of taking them up yourself without consulti——
"Is it true?"
A guy suddenly appeared out of nowhere and stood in front of me, gazing at me with wonder. His eyes were kinda purplish.
I remembered seeing him from somewhere.
"Skater boy," I said before I could stop myself.
"Whoa whoa, Redding," he backtracked. "Skater boy?"
I cringed. "I'm so sorry. It's just that . . . I don't know you — I mean, I don't exactly remember you."
"So it's true."
"What's true?"
"Your amnesia," he scratched his head. "I thought your brother had nuts in his head but then I saw what they posted on the school website."
"School website?" There was a school website now?
"Yeah," skater boy whipped his phone out. "Everyone's talking about it."
"What?!" I took the phone from his hand and studied the screen.
I saw a photo of me which was not me but it was really me. My platinum blonde hair was down and it was flying all over as though it was being blown by the wind. I had on makeup and I looked really fierce. I was staring back at me and I noticed my green eyes were lined with kohl, cherry red lipstick on my mouth and I had posed as if I were in a photo shoot.
The fierceness in that photo startled me a bit, and it reminded me of the tigers I saw on Nat Geo that stood still before hunting their prey.
You might as well go in for the kill, tigress. Clark used to tease me whenever I was scared to try something new.
I shook my head, ridding that thought off my mind. I scrolled down to see the comments.
'Aww, poor Dee.'
'How unfortunate.'
'Ooh, nice.'
'Lol, three years? She should just drop out.'
'Hmm, interesting.'
'So theoretically speaking, if I steal something expensive of hers that she bought within the last two years, she won't know what's gone? YAAY'
Ugh. The never of these people.
"Who posted this?" I asked him.
"No idea," he took back his phone. "Are you really okay, though? Three years is such a long time. No wonder you looked lost."
"I'm fine," I sidestepped him, my mind running and my need to confront Valerie became more intense. This was all her fault. Now everyone was gossiping about me because of her stupid announcement.
I looked around and it was when I noticed the stares and pointing and the looks of pity being thrown my way.
"By the way," skater boy said behind me before I got too far. "I'm Nigato."
I faced him. "Nigato? Like an anime character?"
"Yeah," a wide grin spread across his face. "You know, that's exactly what you said the first time."
My insides warmed. "Really?"
He nodded.
"Nice to meet you. Again, I mean." I said, and he smiled. "Uhm . . . you said something about my car earlier."
"Yeah," he beamed. "I was wondering if you got it back from the Auto shop. Its been kinda hard hitching a ride with my dad and sisters."
I gave him a confused look.
"Oh right," he chuckled nervously and scratched his head again. "You usually give me rides to school, every day."
"Oh, really?" I was surprised. There's a lot I needed to learn, it seemed. "My red car is at home—"
"No, not the red one," he quickly interrupted. "I meant the black Lambo, you know, the one you got into an accident in."
I widened my eyes. I had two cars?!
"Yikes," he visibly cringed. "I just dumped a shocker on you, didn't I?"
I slowly nodded before I felt a slight headache. I gathered my thoughts. "Where's this Auto shop? Maybe I can go see what really happened."
"Its the one on Ganyu Street, opposite Brickle —"
"Brickle's Diner?" I cut him off. I still remembered. Glad there was still a familiar place.
"Yeah. I can take you if you want," Nigato offered.
"That would be awesome," I smiled at him. "Text me, OK?"
I turned before he could keep talking and walked, eager to talk to Valerie as soon as possible, but just then, I saw Clark.
In a different table.
A table I'd never seen. Well, not really never seen. I recalled it being there. I just did not remember what clique usually sat there. It was at the far end of the cafeteria, and it neared the exit door.
I bit my lip, trying to make up my mind between heading to the A-List table and talking to Clark because I really needed to have a peace of mind. I needed to know what happened between us and why we'd drifted.
I needed to get closure of everything so that I could stop over thinking and being confused about everyone.
Sighing, I headed to his table.
I passed by the A-List members — my table, apparently — and Valerie's shocked gasp reached my ears.
As I got closer and closer to Clark's table, I noticed the rugged ambiance emitted by the guys seated at the table. They emulated the impression of free spirits, judging by their loud boisterous laughs and wild gestures.
And, of course, Ashton was there.
I got to the table and counted six people; four guys and two girls. Two guys with vomit green hair and they looked freakishly similar. Then there was Ashton and Clark. One girl was a brunette and she was tapping furiously on her phone, and the other was a redhead.
She had her hands running through Clark's hair.
I swallowed before clearing my throat. They all had their eyes on me.
"Clark," I began, hoping my voice would not shake. "Can I talk to you?"
"Oh, look," said Ashton. "Its Blondie."
I did a mega roll of my eyes. "Shut up, please."
"What is she doing here?" The redhead asked, directing her question more to Clark than to me.
Clark merely shrugged without staring into my direction. "Don't know. Don't care."
A lump of emotion formed in my throat. "Please, Clark. I need to talk to you. Privately."
"Why?" He finally looked at me, utter confusion written on his face.
"I want —"
"Hey," said one of the green haired guys. "Aren't you the one trending on the school's website."
"It's a prank," said Ashton. "A stunt so that she can get more attention." He commented casually as he studied his nails.
"Three years of memory loss, huh," stated the brunette. She finally looked up from her phone. "Shouldn't you be in some, I don't know, mental institution? Because that's some fucked up shit."
I could not believe my ears. I finally had it with their casual talking
"What is wrong with you people?!" I asked them. "You think I'm faking this? You think I asked to be in an accident and wake up confused thinking that I'm in the future? But instead it turns out I lost three fucking years of my memory and that I'm not in some crazy dystopian world where everything I knew and loved in freshman year had changed!"
I stare at Clark intently. "I don't care what you people think, but I need to talk to Clark right now because I need answers."
They stared at me in complete silence.
Clark raised his eyebrow. "Whatever you want to say to me, you can say it to my friends too."
Friends.
Alright then.
If those were his friends now, then fine. I composed myself. "You are the last person —"
"Hold on a sec," he raised his hand up. "If this is another publicity stunt for trying to get attention, I won't fall for it."
His words were like a sword piercing through my heart. "I'm not —"
"You're not what?" He stood up angrily, his chair flying behind me, and the cafeteria was slowly going silent. "I don't get you, Dee. Why are you even talking to me?"
My throat began clogging up with emotions that I couldn't decipher. All I knew is that they almost choked me to the point where I felt my tears balancing in my eyes.
He called me Dee, and not Red.
"Why are you here? What do you want?"
"I —" I wanted to talk, but the way he was regarding me . . . it was akin to aversion.
"I wanted to talk." I finally said, defeated. "Because you're the only person I thought of who could help me remember some things."
Clark shook his head in disbelief. "We don't talk anymore. We stopped being best friends if that's what you wanted to know."
My lip trembled. I tried holding back the oncoming tears. "W-why?"
Clark studied my face. He seemed to be assessing if I really asked him why, as though it was something obvious and I shouldn't have asked in the first place.
He looked sideways, thinking. Maybe pondering for an answer to my question.
He finally faced me. "You left me when I needed you the most. That's why."
•••
soooo, which character do you like so far?
drop your faves, lol.
—Marj💋