I could feel every step on the ground, a pebble or rock sinking into my soft skin and the gritty soil dirtying the small cuts and marks left. Truly unhealthy. I am (F/N) (L/N) and I am five years old. My father left almost as soon as I was born, taking everything with him. Including my mother's caring nature of holding me, patting my back with her soft hand, that familiar thumping sound soothing me.
I never got that.
I never got to have a meal everyday whenever I wanted. I was neglected and forgotten basically my whole life. Every passing day, being homeschooled and learning so little because Mom would never bother to help me up in the morning anyways. I wasn't taught how to do things, I had to learn on my own and fend for myself. Every single day. If I could just click with someone, anyone at all... I would do anything for them, be anything for them. Like, all of a sudden it's not gravity holding you down to the Earth—its them. (If you get that reference, I love you.) I'll explain this present moment starting at when I woke up.
I opened my eyes sleepily, rubbing them gently with my small balled fists. I let out a little yawn. My eyes were moist around the edges. I got up, tearing my royal blue bed sheets off of myself and striding towards the kitchen to drink some water and eat an apple or something. The cold water slipped down my dry throat and I let out a content sigh. Surprisingly, my Mother was already awake before I got to eat anything and she gestured her hand toward me. I accepted hesitantly and held hers. She pulled me a little aggressively, keeping my hand locked with hers in an undesirable way, yanking me outside the door with her. We both, obviously hand in hand, rolled out to the car and I hadn't realized the confusion that swept across my face because of how much I mentally felt in pain.
"Mommy..?" I had called out to her as low as a whisper.
"We're going." she replied, acid leaking from her voice.
She threw me into the car, slamming the door and jogging to her side to do the same with herself. The engines started purring as she turned the key, a rattle type sound coming from the keys. My smile faltered.
It took fifteen minutes, maybe ten, for us to get to our... My Mom's destination. She ghosted to my door, opening it gently this time. Kindly, she picked me up and I looked into her eyes, trying to read her current emotion but she was grabbing for something else, too. My Mother set me on the ground. Something was in her hand, but I couldn't see what until she pulled it out in front of my face.
It's a box, I said to myself, scanning over the small piece of cardboard. She set it it down lightly and put me inside of it. I titled my head, confused.
"You're going to stay here." she ordered.
"But I need—"
She interrupted me. "I'll be back."
She frowned.
And I couldn't gain enough courage to call to her to stop walking away from me. Each step she took away from me hurt more than the last and my stomach did a flip, knots tying inside of it as soon as my Mother left me here. There's no way she would come back.
"Mom!" I cried, sobbing into my wrists continuously.
My dirty nails scratched across the box, not doing anything to help the fact that they were dirty already. I started thrashing around. I'm thirsty, I thought.
"Mom!" I tried it again, wildly sobbing her name with chokes, swallowing tears.
Wind whipped my hair in front of my face and it stung. I yelped, echoing again. "Mom!" I screamed, I hollered, I bellowed.
I wiped my red puffy eyes with my wrists after trying to check around me and only seeing blurry images. This all happened too fast, I thought. That's probably the author's fault for not preparing and just being dumb. (YOU'RE MEAN, NO FOURTH WALL BREAKS- *Ducc tapes the fourth wall.*) Besides that, I need water. And by the looks of things, I won't get anything in this wide open field.
I looked up, checking to see where the sun was. The bag ball of light was setting, the moon was rising and it was full and beautiful. For a couple of minutes, my eyes were focused on the bright dot covering the nearly black sky. I tried, but I can't see any stars with this light pollution. Trees with only a few amount of leaves rattled in the distance. A scary sound, if it were a branch scratching against the door or a window.
Silence. Silence.
A short yet scrutinizingly long kind of sound that I didn't like. I want someone to be with me, beside me. I have one wish right now, just one wish... Please, God, just this one wish?
"I want to go home!" I pleaded, thrashing around. Strands of my hair were caught wet with my soaking eyes. Tears stained my red cheeks. "MOM!"
My eyes were now glowing with burning tears. I tried to wipe them away but they all got replaced with newer, fresh liquid from my eyes. People told me that crying was a good thing to do, to help release pain, but that is not the case now. Now hurts so much. Now is now, while I'm still crying and all I wish for is a normal family like everyone else in the world. It's just me that has to go through this, I'm sure. Right..? No. Even the thought that more people, kids, just like me get abandoned at younger or older ages by their parents makes me want to scowl and scream at them. But I was taught that I, only myself, could not speak my mind and that was a set rule. I should sleep here for the night, it's getting darker by the minute, and fast. But my stomach had other ideas; it growled in protest to my decision of camping in the field tonight. There are houses nearby, so finding food shouldn't be a problem, right?
I stood up and stretched, only now realising the sudden throbbing in my right shoulder. I turned my head to check and saw purple and blue bruises covering my right arm all the way to my shoulder blade. Curiously, I pressed my pointer finger on one of the bruises close to my wrist and my skin flashed white pale at me when I recoiled my finger. But once the lighter colour faded, the purple bruise only came back. Technically, this looks worse on the outside than it actually feels, I'm not saying that the whole entire right side of my body doesn't hurt, but no bones are broken. Therefore, I am okay. Or at least, as okay as I can be right now. I'm still torn if I should stay here and sleep, because maybe Mom will come back! Well, no. . . That would be nearly selfish of me to ask her that, since she hates me and doesn't want me. I'm a mistake and a burden in her life.
Shutting my eyes tightly, I kicked the box and made a run for it. I ran, not knowing where I would end up. But it is better than staying in this stupid open space, when you're starving and crave attention and warmth.
Warmth.
I'm freezing. Running seems like a better idea now.
So I ran, faster than I thought I could. But that only lasted a short while until I started walking again, the pebbles, as said, sinking into my feet while I ran. Stupid worn out shoes... Thankfully, running made time go by faster and I got warmer by the minute, but not enough to satisfy. I can't tell how long it took but I'm guessing awhile... I choked my head to the side, trying to read sign but it'd take me a long time to remember how to read. That's one thing Mother taught me well; reading skills.
"Gainesville." I sounded out the letters, probably still messing them up. How did I get this far so quickly? I can't run that fast.
By now, I was surrounded by houses and street lights so I could see where I was going. No need to squint anymore, great for actually seeing. At the flip of a dime, I was here, but I still had main priorities than just staying on the street if I wanted to survive properly. An idea would be to knock on someone's door but I have no idea which house to check in on and which owner is friendly... I don't want to be abandoned again... At those thoughts, my knees began to shake and the world around me was divided. I was wobbling woodenly, tears streaking down my face. When will this part of the nightmare end? When will I wake up? I hope it's a nightmare.
If only took a short while of crying for me to break suddenly and start crawling there instead. Sadly, I have to admit that I was being dramatic about crawling, but I was only five. I chose a house at random. After my fist made a short thudding sound on the door, twice, I snatched it away and stood up, trying to make myself presentable.
Faint and muffled voices, kind of sounding alike, came from inside. Voices, there must be a lot of people... I shivered again.
The handle rattled and the door opened. A tall man with a blue and black tie wore literally black everything. Black shirt, pants, shoes, you name it. Another thing that stood out were his glasses. The man looked like a businessman you would see on television, but slightly more animated. His eyes were a dark almond colour as well was his hair. It reminded me of chocolate! A part of his hair, though, was dyed a shade of purple.
It took a moment for him to notice me, but when he glanced down at me he seemed perplexed.
"Why is there a human girl at our door?" he had asked. "It's so late, she should have been in bed."
Before another person, I assume the man's brother only because of the similarity in looks. I cocked my head, peeping to see inside of the house. Another male that looked just like the other two sat on a brown couch, watching television. There was another in the kitchen, still looking the same. One more man that looked more natural than any of his.. Brothers was striding down the stairs gracefully.
The man on the couch wore only purple and black shades of colour. His hoodie was black and purple and looked like someone had done a crappy job of sewing it all up together. His shirt was also a purple with little shreds appearing on it every now and then when you looked at him up and down. One strange thing that stood out about him was the black eyeshadow underneath his eyes. I didn't get his name yet.
And the man beside the one with the blue tie also wore the same looking pair glasses, but he looked more animated and lively. They all have the same eyes, some having more emotion and meaning than the others. Setting the thought of their eyes aside, my eyes glazed over his choice of clothing. He wore a sky blue polo shirt, a grey cardigan hanging loosely on his shoulders. On the sleeves of the cardigan I saw little paw prints, it was probably some sort of animal hoodie!
"I'm Patton!" Patton, the tall man with the cardigan spoke kindly to me. He smiled. "And this is Logan," he gestured towards the man wearing a tie. His eyes seemed to sparkle. "And Virgil," he pointed towards the one wearing a black and purple hoodie that was caught into a gaze with the T.V.
Patton also introduced the one in the kitchen for me, the one wearing a colourful outfit, one that I thought was cute. I liked the gold, white and red type of colours. He looked like a prince, a red sash thrown over his shoulder and crossing across his chest. His white prince outfit had the golden coloured lace buttons shoulder pad thingies. A dashing prince, I might add. His name was Roman, as I was told.
The casual looking boy's name was Thomas, the one that had been striding down the stairs to see who was at the door. He now smiled at me, waving Logan away kindly. His shirt was a blue kind of colour with spots on it.. He wore jeans and had the exact same face as the others.
He spoke softly to me. "I also have a Side named Deceit, but he doesn't show up very often."
"Thankfully." one of the 'Sides' commented.
I peered in. "Mommy weft me," I spoke in a baby tone of voice, trying my best to pronounce my words properly. Although I had trouble sounding out the letter 'r' at the time."and I'm thiwsty."
Patton awed at me, using a grabby motion to try and snatch me but he hesitated. "Can we keep her, Logan?"
His head arose from the book he was reading. "Why would we do that?" he answered with a question.
The natural one, Thomas, chimed in. "Because she doesn't have a home," he paused, slowly turning his head to me. "Right..?"
I nodded.
The three had questioning looks on each others faces. Maybe PAtton not so much, he was sure about what he wanted. Before butting in on this staring contest, Virgil stole Logan's book and flipped one of the pages, continuing to read through it from when Logan, the Logical Side, left off. "Think about the pros and cons, Thomas." he whispered in a velvety but rough tone. "The responsibility of having to take care of a child is... stressful, dontcha think?"
Thomas shook his head. "But she was abandoned." he gazed at me with puppy eyes, as did Patton.
"But on the other hand," Anxiety continued. "It might fill up an emptiness in you that you never even knew was there. Like a mistake that you never thought about fixing stumbled upon you."
"Don't compare her to a mistake!" Patton intruded.
I don't know if they realized, but I could hear everything they were saying. So I probably would be able to anticipate whether they would allow me to stay with them or otherwise.
To my surprise... To almost everyone's surprise, Virgil knelt down next to me and shrugged. He smiled. Did I do that? Did I make him smile? If so, I liked that!
Virgil was still. "Actually, may we please keep her, Logan?"
Logan was confused of why everyone was asking him if they could keep a child. "Only if I don't have to deal with her all the time." he replied wryly, gripping his book back and taking it away from Virgil. And with this information Virgil nodded.
His smile only faltered fo a half second but Anxiety still stayed beside me. "What's your name, peanut?" he asked with a new nickname for me already.
"(Y/N)!" I oozed enthusiasm. There was a little slur in my voice, though.
Anxiety helped me inside. "You can sleep in my room for now--I'll sleep on the couch." he had said to me with a calm tone. Had all the sarcasm or rough tinge to his voice leave?
"Thank you." I squealed, hugging him as tight as I could.
On the other side of the room, closing the door, Thomas laughed. "I've never known Virgil to be a sucker for kids."
Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He isn't, Thomas."
Thomas jolted over alongside Patton. "Don't think if you're going to be hugging that I'm not joining, because I will hug you!" Patton threatened,
Virgil hugged me. He was warm. Probably because of the very big hoodie. Roman joined, Thomas, Patton... Logan was hesitant to join, but he still did after everyone was begging him.
"Thank you so much!" I cried, my cheeks flushing red from all of the attention.
"Don't stress it." Anxiety ruffled with my hair and Patton went to get me a glass of water.
* * *
I love this new family. Forever.