I can remember the blood on the floor, Zion informing men to take me away as my mate was murdered by the man I would later marry. Nothing was normal about our relationship, from the was Zion treated me in the memories I have, the way the media portrayed us as, the loss of our child, my death, my rebirth, and after all these years, Zion still wishes to build a future with me. How could someone who killed my mate become someone I would one day say yes to and marry. Did he use me for his agenda, a war going on at the same time and he needed the rogues? I read the papers, how the rogues joined the fight after I talked with them, how I was a rogue and became a queen. How dumb was I to join someone in matrimony? As I lay here, on the couch beside the windows which have been pulled shut to isolate the light from the room, Zion sits in a chair across from me, bloodshot eyes as he spent the entire night making sure I did not faint on him again. Zion sits here, a king with no crown, losing not only his wife and unborn child, but his power, title, job, and his home. Fiona handed me her phone about an hour ago, having me read the news on Zion having resigned from the throne, how it is an action no king has ever made, and how he disappeared into thin air.
"Do you want something to eat?" Zion asks as I spare him a short glance, glaring at the lost alpha male, his hands shaking in his lap as I know that me remembering that he killed my mate was definitely not part of the plan. Perhaps bringing me back was also for a fresh start, him hoping only the good memories would resurface as those of pain would stay locked away forever. Yet, after all he has tried to do, the painful memories are the only ones to truly resurface in full detail unlike the flashes of memories from our smiles and laughter.
Shaking my head, I turn away from Zion, facing the material of the couch as I pull the itchy blanket closer to my body. My eyes begin to water, hands instantly wiping away the tears as I wonder what my mate was like. He was my mate, the man fate had chosen for me to spend the rest of my life with. Zion's mate was insane, bringing out a darkness from within him as he decided from that moment that mates were a curse perhaps. My mate and I could have been happy, but Zion decided to end his life, to take away my chance with Sebastian as I could only scream and watch the blood pool around his body. "You need to eat, Sybil, we have a plane to catch."
I take in a deep breath, knowing full well I do not want to get onto a plane with this male. "He is right," Fiona speaks up, entering the room as I place my hand over my heart, still feeling no beat. "The more relaxed and healthy, the more your memories will come back."
Do I even want to remember? I know my reborn life depends on remembering, or Fiona will damn me for all eternity to burn on a wheel like her ancestors. I know parts of her soul are held within her wand and I know that the moment I leave this house, all the books she has on her magic will be gone from my touch, for me to make sure it is her who is damned for all eternity if this curse if not lifted. I know Zion wishes to take me to the elves, but what can they even do for me? "Does it even matter anymore?" I question, looking up to Fiona as she stands in the doorway, dressed in her signature leather jacket. "Does it matter if my memories come back? It seems like Zion would rather have me be kept from my past because he wishes to start fresh, for my darkest memories are all that are truly resurfacing. You want me to remember so the curse will be lifted. I am not some puppet to be played with, to see what or how much I remember. You both want power and control over my memories."
"The moment you remember who you are, you may find yourself at peace," Fiona insists.
"I wish I was still resting in peace," I snap, looking at Zion with a bitter stare as I say those words, watching as his eyes water. "You brought me back to try and get a second chance, but not building off on the relationship we had before, but starting over because of all the things you regret doing to me."
Getting to my feet, Fiona stares at me with her lips pressed together, frustrated with me as she knows the threat she gave me. Damning my soul should give me an incentive to help her get her agenda pushed and finished, but she knows that she needs me for however long to make sure she is not damned for all eternity. The moment I do what Fiona wants, I know her coven will no longer hold loyalty to the werewolf empire and she could be chaotic. The moment I give her the middle finger and call her bluff, she could be serious and kill me, sending me back into death's arms. However, if I beat her to the punch and make sure she has no control over me, I no longer need to remember and can go on living my life, to get away from Zion, and create a new life for myself. Yet I need to know who I was, to remember my roots, what happened to me before I met Zion and why he came into my life with such a force that it lead to so many screams, tears, and supposed happiness he says we had.
"I am not going to the elves until you tell me why I became a rogue and why you killed my mate," I state, my voice demanding as Zion straightens his posture. "Do not dare hide anything from me, for the moment you do, I will make sure that you always remember the lies you told me, and I will never go anywhere with you ever again. Who knows, you may have been the reason why I died, why our child died."
"Enough," Zion growls, getting to his feet as I know the words I said were enough to trigger him emotionally. I need him angry, to let his emotions get the best of him, for blaming him will give him a reason to tell me the truth, to prove to me that he is not the reason why. "Your mate rejected you, declaring you a rogue the moment he found out who you were to him." I believe him. "I invited all the alphas in the kingdom to the palace because I needed their council on the war and when I learned that your mate was an alpha who rejected you and banished you, I hated him instantly. He was a bastard, a complete ass to everyone he met, and he still disrespected you while you were in my care and I was falling for you. My wolf could not contain himself, and when Sebastian talked about you with-with such disrespect, I lost it. I knew he was nothing but trouble to you, how much he detested him for how he treated you, and I killed him, I cut his head from his body and sent you away from the scene."
"You believed that Sebastian would bring out the worst in me as Lillian did to you," I process, Zion agreeing with my statement as I try and control my emotions for the truth I have just been told. "Did you only marry me because I was a rogue?"
"Never."
"It just worked out for you that the rogues joined you in your war?" I ask, knowing I must insult his motives to get my exact answers.
"The rogues took a huge amount of convincing," Fiona steps in, answering me as I wonder why she has a say in this. "The news documented how long it took, for Zion's advisers had been telling him before you came along that the rogues were key to wining the war. You came along and it just worked out, it worked out that you were the ones to talk to the rogues because you were a rogue. They joined not only because of what you told them, but because of the money you offered. Rogues in the war were mercenaries and mercenaries are selfish. It was luck that Zion married a rogue."
Looking to Zion, he nods his head. "I asked you to marry me because we loved one another, because I could not go on in life knowing that you were not with me, by my side, and the first thing I saw in the morning and the last at night."
"Then why do I have memories of you killing a woman before my eyes, her unarmed, and telling me to run from you?"
"What?" Zion asks, nervous as I know I have come across a darker memory. But I stare at him, jaw clenched as I make it clear to him I want the truth. "She was a rogue, a ring leader for rogues. You had run from me, you wanted answers for so many things and so you ran, leaving behind your ring. I came for you, only to find you in the arms of a ring leader who wanted you to see the darkest sides of me."
"And so you killed her without justice, just because she wanted to help me uncover your entire past. If you loved me so much, you would have told me about a darker side, not having me have to run from you to know you better." I take in a deep breath, feeling that itch again where the bullet hit me. "Your dark side, you always tried to hide it from me."
"Every relationship, every person, there are always secrets, dark sides-
"And keeping those secrets and dark sides hidden are how people crumble," I whisper, eyes watering once again as I push past Fiona and out of the room. "And something tells me that you have a dark side you have always hidden from me, worse from anything I experienced when I had a beating heart."
Zion chases after me, catching up as he takes hold of my arm gently, only for me to pull away. "I want you to remember who you were, not dig into my life before you remember yours."
I feel isolated from Zion at this moment, my back against the cold wall as I also feel trapped. "You have been hiding a dark side from me the moment we met years ago," I whisper, pushing against the wall as I refuse to be backed into a corner. "Understanding you may help me remember who you are and understand why I fell for someone like you, who only displayed the best parts of himself while his true colors were kept in the dark. You let them surface when you killed that rogue and when you killed Sebastian, but it makes me wonder the monster which controls your soul, the demon who thinks your soul can dance with mine."
Zion is now the one against the wall, cornered by me as he looks at me with pain in his eyes. "Do you want to remember who you were?"
My throat dries as I see Fiona watching us from the doorway of the hall, eyes glowing in the dark as she awaits my move. "I am not sure I care to remember who I was anymore, for I was weak back then, a child, so foolish to not see the darker sides of you and run from that. I am different now, wanting answers, and you are scared because you know that me wanting answers will only mean a chance of me not returning to your arms like I did years ago."
"I love you, Sybil, you were strong then too, you loved me, we were happy, we were to be parents, our hearts were one, beating in harmony."
Holding my head high, I stare Zion in the eye as I say my next words. "And you betrayed my heart."