Chapter 15
"Guys."
"So, I was thinking a little bit of the golden shade at the arch of your eyebrow, it gives kind of a sophisticated look and it pops out the color in your eyes -"
"Guys."
"-as for the lipstick, you had the coral shade one, yes? Use that one, it will do magic on your skin tone!"
"Guys!"
"Should I use blush or just leave it without any?" Kathie asked, her eyes portrating a look of eagerness and excitement. With the school dance coming up soon, Alex had been the most popular guy in our school right now - his immaculate knowledge for make-up trends is truly remarkable.
But right now, I need to tell them about Cole. Ten days had passed since our encounter and he had been even more distant. Those ten days went completely ordinary and uneventful. Aside of some small pranks on teachers and students, I was mostly hanging out with my group or Craig.
Craig.
I pursed my lips at the name. After the almost-kiss we shared in the car, we've been slightly awkward with eachother. It was annoying how he every single day picked me up from home for school and then at the weekends he would pick me up at the evening to go somewhere.
Nope. I am not classyfying them as dates because I know that they aren't. First of all, I don't consider Craig to be nearly as close as a friend. Second of all, I only go out with him because we are usually hanging out with his sister, Anna, who is admittedly a cool person to be around with.
If you exclude the fashion talking every ten minutes or so.
I snapped out of my thoughts when Alex called my name looking at me with raised brows.
"Alana," He said, still looking at me. "You spaced out. You were calling us for something?"
"Right..." I murmured, remembering the thing about Cole. "Well, guys, I don't think Cole's the person we think he is."
Alex gasped and looked at me excitedly. "You caught him watching porn, didn't you?"
"What? No-"
"Oh my god, you caught him watching gay porn?! I knew it! I knew that he was gay!" Alex jumped from his seat on my balcony and did a terribly excessive happy dance.
"Alex, Cole's not gay. I mean, I think he's not gay." I rushed out with my explanation.
Alex stopped dancing and looked at me, frowning. "You didn't catch him watching gay porn?"
"No. Fortunately." I mumbled the last part.
"Oh." He frowned even more, disappointment visible on his face.
"So," Kathie resumed. "What did you mean by "Cole's not the person we know" or something like that?"
"We all know my... incident with drugs last year right?" I asked, forcing the words out of my mouth. I saw Kathie and Alex stiffen, nodding firmly.
"We remember Gabe too." Kathie whispered, it was almost unaudible, but I heard it and it sent a lump in my throat.
"Well, Cole's kinda the most wanted person, dead or alive, in my previous gang."
Silence.
I could feel Kathie and Alex's brething slow down to a minimum. They were looking at me with wide eyes and 'what the hell are you talking about' look on their face.
"You're kidding right?" Kathie asked, a look of disbelief crossing her face. Alex was still frozen and looking at me like I grew a second head.
I winced and sighed. "I wish."
"When did you found out? How did you found out?" Alex asked me, still stiff and looking at me in disbelief.
"When I was going around the city with my car, I turned to the not-so-secure neighbourhood and I almost hit a running boy. Tunrs out, that was Cole running from my ex-gang." I explained quiickly and without many details.
"Alana, I know you have this really big sense of humor-" Kathie chuckled forcefully and it just sounded fake.
"What? No, I am not kiddi-"
"But Cole isn't that kind of a guy." Kathie said, a fake brightness in her eyes, denying the truth. Her lips pursed and she pulled her lower lip into her mouth, but not without murmuring.
"He isn't like you."
"What?" I said, quite loudly, hurt by her words. I know what I did was beyond bad and if something like hell existed, I will definitely go there. I know that I was a bitch for not even hanging out with my friends, and ditching them to sell drugs.
"You can't deny it, Alana," She said, standing up. "You put all of us in danger. Gabe got closer to you, talked to you and he got killed!
You then pretend like nothing happened, you just click the delete button and that's all gone. Suddenly after months you want to hang out with us more. Suddenly, out of the blue, you want to get back to doing pranks.
And that's not even the worst part!
You want to make all of us forget. Well I can't Alana, I can't!" Kathie wiped a tear that escaped her eye.
"I can't forget Gabe."
Before Alex or I could say something, Kathie was already grabbing her jacket and exited the balcony, sliding open the doors. We hear her tudding steps on the stairs, my brother's deep voice and then finally the loud shutting of the door snapped us out of our silent transe.
"Ahem," Alex said awkwardly, shifting in his seat.
Me?
I was still frozen in time and space. Kathie's words were ringing in my brain and ears, every letter loud and clear. My eyes weren't glazed with tears- this time my eyes were dry.
It was like no feelings other than hurt were in me. The emotional pain is still fresh.
"Alana, I know you have problems-" Gabe tried saying, his voice trembling in the cold. His ears were red from the snow storm.
"Yeah, yeah, Gabe, whatever. I don't have time right now." I waved him and his petty begging off and continued rubbing my exposed fingers together to prevent them from turning blue just yet. If I'm going to be here standing all night, at least I should keep the cold away as long as possible.
Gabe shifted his weight on his other leg, his lips still shaking and his breath making a white smoke in front of his face. "Kathie and Alex are worried for you. You know we can help you, if you just-".
"You got the money?" I suddenly interrupted him with my greeting towards my latest narco. He had been the gang's client for about two months or so, so he's still a newbie in this. He usually takes cocaine, but he sometimes may even take some heroin for his "friends". The client's dilated pupils and pale skin clearly showed the first few physical symptoms of using cocaine.
"Yeah, the stuff?" He asked back, his fingers twitching a little. I'm not sure if it's from the cold or from the cocaine use.
It could be both.
"Safe and sound, man." I smirked at him and lightly tapped the bag around my shoulders.
He put his shaking fingers into his pocket and extracted a couple of crimpled hundred dollars. I carefully slid the bag from my shoulders and passed him one of the five-gram packs from the bottom. While passing it, he quickly pushed the money into my other hand, and I scanned over them to calculate that there are five hundred. This kid knows about our price increases.
He then swiftly walked away, without saying anything.
"And that is how I get my payment." I said to Gabe, chuckling as I stuffed the money into my pocket.
"You have to stop." Gabe said firmly, looking at me with his intensive brown eyes.
"Sure, Gabe. Sure." I answered him sarcastically, throwing in a sarcastic laugh. No way I'm stopping. This earned me more money in two months than my dad working non-stop for two years.
"I'm not kidding Alana." He said once again, nearing closer to me. "Stop this." He then turned around and walked away, leaving me in the cold and lonely street. I sighed and looked at my watch.
Four more hours to go.
And after that night, I never saw Gabe alive again. The next morning a sobbing Alex called me, telling me in whimpers that Gabe is dead and that he was ran over by a car. By an accident. Eight hours after he spoke to me.
Coincidence?
I think not.
"Alana," Alex said, snapping me out of my flashbacks. He looked at me with compassion in his eyes, but then shook his head and avoided my stare. He suddenly stood up from his chair and slowly walked away towards the sliding doors.
"Alex," I said, my voice cracking at the vowel. "Do you agree with Kathie?"
I heard him sigh and I didn't dare to look behind. I don't want to see any judging looks, and no matter how much I reminded myself that Alex will never be the one to judge, I still don't want to face him right now.
"I-" He stopped himself in the middle of saying something. "I believe you about Cole. But what Kathie did was point out the cold truth. Everyone knows she doesn't sugar coat," He chuckled lightly, probably remembering the times where Kathie just slapped the truth right into the person's face.
"So yeah, I agree with Kathie. But not in that much of a thruthful way. With a little sugar coating and not being such a harsh bitch, I would definitely agree."
I slumped my shoulders down and leaned on my seat. I heard the sliding doors open and Alex exiting. After relaxing for about ten more minutes, I finally got up and walked downstairs, my mood in an even lower skale than before.
"Is something wrong sweetie?" My mom had her feet plopped on the chair across from her, and in her hands she held Paper Towns by John Green, reading and nodding her head towards the rock music coming from the radio on the table.
Yeah, my mom should win the multi tasker award of the decade.
I sat down on the chair and sighed. My mom still didn't separate her eyes from the book, but I knew that she was waiting for me to start talking. Even though I kept the secret of me being a drug dealer while I was a drug dealer, I told both my mom and my dad about my "profession" the next day after the funeral.
"I don't even know where to start," I massaged my skull, my elbows on the table and my legs kicked under me.
"Why don't you start from the beginning? From the moment you knew you were in trouble with yourself and how did you get to that moment?" My mom said, her psychological side coming out for my needs.
Using the free three hours with my psychologist, I told my mom about everything. Cole, the gang, Kathie, Alex and my feelings.
"Alana, you need to know something." She said after I finished talking all about my miseries. "People are different from each other. I read more than I am in reality, and sometimes I even abandon you and my chores just to read. But that's okay. I'm me." She started rubbing my hand, the gesture bringing familiarity from my childhood.
"Your dad works way more than he should and then complains about having too much work, but that's okay. He's him. And you, Alana, do pranks more than anyone should. But that's okay," She chuckled.
"You're you.
You need to realize that people are them and that they have their flaws and their good things. That's what makes them human. Accept them. If Kathie sometimes acts like a bitch, that's okay. She's her and hey, not to be stereotypical or something, she is a cheerleader."
I started chuckling and nodding my head. "Did you just quoted a page from Paper Towns?"
"Maybe," She said playfully and chuckled with me.
We then continued sipping out hot chocolate and talking and laughing and bonding like a mother and a daughter.
I am so glad that I have my mom by my side.
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So there you go guys! The fifteenth chapter *que claps* of my book!
I recently saw that I almost have 10000 reads, so I thank all of you beautiful people for reading and commenting and voting on this story!
You truly are the stars on my dark sky :')