"Talvez, se eu não tivesse um troço, lá dentro da barriga, que eu sinto que está dançando a dança da garrafa." - Talvez
Louis looked at his backpack on the bed, checking to see if he had taken it all. Then he looked out of the window at the sun. It was hot, almost like the summer, even though it was early spring. March didn't used to be hot like that.
He went into the closet, and looked at the mirror in the door. Jeans, white tank and vans; everything ok.
But the worse was what was down there on the couch.
"Are you going to stay home today?" Louis asked as he walked downstairs.
William was on the couch, his legs curled up, reading The Pickwick Papes - the whole school was reading this book. Louis and Harry had already made good progress; the Pickwick study group was already well ahead of the scientific research with Mr. Tupman, Mr. Snodgrass and Mr. Winkle.
"Dunno."
"Are you going out with Adam?" Louis was bent over the back of the couch, his elbows resting. "Are his friends still there?"
William looked away from the book.
"Why, do you want another show after your little party with Liam?"
"No. You always go out, I just..."
William was reading again, and Louis stared at the mute television.
The tongue was itching to ask if he was going out with Harry, because after all, William was a liar, and it would be great to see him lying so blatantly.
"If you were going out without Harry knowing, I could sleep in your room again," Louis said and almost laughed. Almost. "It was no problem the other time."
William shrugged, but didn't looked at him.
"Um, that's good."
Louis turned around and climbed into his room again.
To everyone in the family, Liam would have a party for his best friends. Nothing more. Ha. Liam had always been Louis's escape route - not that he needed to use much, but he was liable.
But Louis was apprehensive and told himself that it was nothing. Getting to know Harry's family was not a big deal, it would all be a lie. He would go because he wanted answers, and that seemed the only chance, even though he was an idiot.
It would be so much easier to corner Harry on the wall, or call Anne and say the liar his son was, but to have that, to have to do was what was saving Louis.
Having a place to go, people to meet - people who want to meet him - was the closest he had to feeling anything more than he was. And his head was still flooded with questions. Crazy for thinking they would be answered.
Louis looked at the backpack again, and sat on the bed. Had he gotten up too early? What time would Harry really call?
There was a message on his phone, from five minutes ago.
I'm waiting for you on the corner. Silver minivan. Swimsuit, right?
Louis jumped off the bed and pulled the backpack. He came down the stairs like a hurricane, and for a moment, seeing William at home while he was all ready to leave, left the whole thing even more cool.
To meet his boyfriend's family, pretending it was him.
Not pretending, no. Louis was Louis.
Louis was Harry's boyfriend. William did not even existed.
And as Louis walked down the street, he left his brother there. It left him out of mind, out of everything. For a moment he would allow himself to forget the whole shit. Forget how fucked up it was.
The minivan was parked in a forbidden place, so Louis pressed the step even more. He sat in the passenger seat without hesitation.
"Why a minivan?" Louis asked.
"It's my mother's. It shouldn't be 100% about discretion?" He laughed, but Louis was silent. "And why jeans?"
Louis looked down at his knees, then forward.
"Jeans give a good impression."
And, unexpectedly, Harry laughed, turning on the car. Louis stared at him, not laughing.
"What?"
"Good impressions," Harry repeated, and laughed again.
Louis looked at his football-style shorts, then at the pants he wore. It was one of his best, new and skinny.
"Should I have come in shorts?"
Harry shrugged, face forward.
"You look great, Louis."
Louis let the air out of his mouth and straightened up on the seat. Was that a compliment? Perhaps.
"It's just that I've never met anyone's parents," he confessed, and straightened his pack on his lap. "Forget it."
Harry smiled at Louis, then looked ahead. He was fully healed of the flu and had not given himself another attack. From time to time, when they were reading The Pickwick Papers in Louis' room, Harry was talking about his grandma and family. Louis was not allowed to ask questions yet, only when he finally walked in the door of Harry's house.
For the rest of the week, Harry and William pretended that everything was fine. Louis knew they had stayed for almost five days without speaking to each other, counting the weekend of when the twins spent in Leeds and the two days that Harry stayed with Louis. Harry continued to give William a ride for school, and to this day, Louis didn't asked anything about how they were.
But Louis and Harry were going so well together.
And they hadn't even given much thought to the sex thing. It didn't happened again and Louis didn't know if he was happy or apprehensive, because after all, when would it happen again?
Harry's street was like that of the whole neighborhood: rows of identical houses, with different backyards and two-car garage. When he stopped the minivan at the driveway, Louis took a deep breath.
"I still have time to put on my shorts," he muttered.
Harry chuckled and removed his belt.
"I wasn't nervous when I met your parents."
Louis snorted and also loosened his belt.
"Shut up."
Harry drummed his fingers on the wheel and pulled the keys out.
"So," he began, "most people in that house are not my blood relatives, but I consider them and they consider me as well."
"You already said that."
"I know."
And then they were silent.
"Do you want to go in?"
"Please," Louis replied, and jumped out of the car.
It was just a bunch of random people. A bunch of people who really were not worth it.
So why were his hands sweating and his legs shaking?
It didn't matter.
Harry led him into the hall, placing his hand on his lower back, leading him into the house. Louis barely remembered it, maybe he was too drunk and too nervous to pay attention when he came that other time.
"Just don't..." Harry put his hand on the doorknob, "notice the mess."
The hallway was the same as Louis' house; staircase at the end, door from one side to the kitchen and the other to the living room. But there was a "Happy Birthday" banner in big letters.
A woman came out of the kitchen door, drying her hands and laughing loudly. Was it Anne?
She turned her face and saw them, then smiled. Dude, she smiled big.
"Look who's here," she walked over to Louis, smiling. Then she hugged him gently. "Anne, Louis has arrived!"
"Hello," Louis moaned, and then the woman grabbed him by the hand.
He looked at Harry, but he was just grinning and shrugging.
Everybody in the house knew Louis' name, even the children. And when he came into the room, everyone looked at him. Jesus, how many beautiful people. Even though most of them were not from the real family - blood - they still looked a lot. And they were wearing nothing too much, very relaxed. Damn jeans.
"Guys," Harry said, behind Louis, with his hand still on his back, "this is Louis."
Louis smiled, because everyone smiled too. Harry urged him forward, and the woman who hugged him in the hall was still pulling him by the hand.
"This is Bebbie, cousin," the woman pulled Louis toward the couch, and introduced the people in the order they were sitting. "Joe, cousin, Karen, Aunt Bianca, cousin, Dakota, cousin ..."
She continued, and Louis did not even know how many people were on the couch.
Cousin. Cousin. Aunt. Cousin.
They were too many people. And beautiful people. And they'd say, "Hello, Louis," "Nice to meet you, Louis" or "How lucky, huh, Harry."
After Louis gave a little hug to Robin - Harry's father (stepfather) - and gave a happy birthday, the woman who pulled his hand shouted:
"Where's Anne and Gemma?"
"With the babies," someone shouted.
Everyone was already dissipating, still smiling, and the kids started running and shouting "Pool!"
Louis paid attention in the living room. He had not even stepped there after the ugly party at Doncaster College. The room was also full of picture frames, just like the hallway. The television and sofa were in different directions than in Louis' house, but the size was the same. How did have a pool here?
"I'm going to look for Anne," the woman let go of Louis' hand.
Louis smiled and pressed his pack on his chest.
"What is it?"
He looked at Harry, and gave a nervous laugh.
"I feel bad for my jeans."
"Stop it."
Maybe Harry would go on, but a woman came into the room, smiling and carrying a baby, maybe with almost one year old.
"Hello, Louis," she held the baby with one arm. "It's good to meet you.
The woman smiled at Louis as if he were the most important thing she could see in that room. He could see her eyes gleaming with her black hair. The smile was like Harry's; she smiled with her face all over, as if each part wanted to show happiness as well.
"Hello."
She hugged him, and the baby was among them. And she hugged like she was saying 'oh my God, you're here!'
Some of the children ran up the stairs into the kitchen, dressed in colorful little swinsuits.
"How are you?" She asked and set the baby in her lap.
She still looked as if Louis were the most beautiful person in the world. You could feel it was Anne.
"Fine and you?"
Anne smiled even more.
"I'm fine, don't you want to go outside? Harry, take Louis to change. The sun is really shining today."
And she smiled more. She smiled when Harry appeared at the door, his hands in his pockets.
"Sure."
Harry took Louis out of the room, guiding him by the elbow.
"Do you have a bathroom down the stairs too?" Louis asked as he followed Harry.
"No," he replied, and started up the stairs. "We have a closet, like Harry Potter."
"Does anyone sleep there?"
"Ha," Harry reached the top, and turned. "Why? Do you want to sleep there?"
It was Louis's turn to say "Ha."
Harry's room was the same, but he had cleaned up. The books were no longer crooked on the huge shelves and those that were stacked on the floor disappeared. The Solar System continued to rotate near the window. All perfectly familiar.
"Bathroom, closet... you know," Harry shrugged.
Louis went to the bathroom, still clutching his backpack.
He had gone well, right? Everyone treated him well. And Anne. God. She was the sweetest thing Louis had ever seen. No one even touched the subject of Harry's grandmother's death. It was all calm.
Louis opened his pack. There were only horrible things there. Jeans shorts, a mango blouse and a beach swimwear. He was not going to wear his beach swimsuit. Nope.
"Harry?" He called.
"Hi," it looked like he was waiting by the door.
"You, um... do you have any shorts, not jeans, to borrow me?"
Harry was silent, and then Louis heard two knocks on the door. He handed the shorts smiling. It was football player style too; long, but Harry was thinner, so they were tight. In the ass.
------------------
It was like, act naturally.
Louis didn't have that much trouble meeting new people - sometimes - but that was Harry's family. Then he mentalized that it was not to be a weirdo and not be nervous.
He discovered that Harry's house was actually two. The family had bought the back house as well, but they built a pool, barbecue and a huge backyard. There were garden chairs in the shadow, and Harry sat Louis there before disappearing.
The children were shouting beside Louis, up and down the loungers, running one of the others. Louis watched Robin by the barbeque, and imagined Harry's cousins and aunts in their bathing suits. It seemed that everything had begun after Louis arrived.
"Never have children," a girl smiled at him, and pointed to the screaming children.
"I find it difficult to get one," Louis laughed and the girl laughed along.
"I had two."
Louis stopped laughing, and looked at her.
"What?"
"I'm Gemma," she held out her hand. "Harry's sister"
Louis squeezed her hand and she sat down beside him on the chaise longue.
"Oh," Louis smiled. Gemma was blonde, with long, thin hair. Had two what? "Harry told me his sister was in ..."
"College," she finished. "Yes. I'm at Doncaster College"
Louis watched her and smiled.
"Did you get two?"
"I did," she laughed.
Louis did not laugh. Was that a joke? It was horrible.
Anne came into the yard with a baby on her lap. And then Harry, with another. What?
"Do you have twins?"
She nodded and waved to her mother and brother. How did that girl have two kids?
"This is Luce," Gemma pointed to the girl in Anne's lap. And then he smiled at the boy Harry held. "And this is Daniel."
Really?
He played with the babies and talked about it with Gemma, and when everyone was distracted with the children Harry said in his ear that the shorts were fine on him.
Louis also discovered that Harry's family was noisy, and that there was no place for everyone at the picnic table, so no one sat there. They all sat on the grass, and the children's mothers ran after them with their plates of food. Louis's family was partly like that, but they were in a smaller number.
He ate the hamburgers Robin did and heard stories about family and about Harry. No one there had the slightest notion that Harry had a boyfriend, let alone one of the most handsome guys in school. Everyone thought he only studied and nothing else. Louis thought that was why everyone was treating him well.
And there was Anne. She was so sweet and she smiled so much that Louis was embarrassed. What would it be like when he never showed up again? Tell her they had to break up and then never see her again?
It seemed too hard.
They didn't asked questions that needed many lies. Are you in the last year, too? Did you meet at school? How old are you?
And they were so nice to Louis.
When the sun was no longer reflecting in the pool, and the children's mothers had already ripped them out, Harry invited Louis, saying, "You're not going to leave here without getting wet, right?"
Louis grimaced when Harry threw himself there. His hair got even bigger. And he was without a shirt.
The water was almost cold, but Louis got used to it. He could hear people talking through the yard, and it did not felt right to be just Harry and him in the pool, but no one seemed to care. Louis barely talked to Harry, because the whole family took up a lot of space, asking the a lot of questions.
Questions.
Louis had many questions.
"I already did my part," Louis murmured. The water in that part of the pool tapped on his shoulders. "When will you do yours?"
Harry looked at him across the pool; his hair dripping water. "Whenever you want," he laughed. "Have you prepared your little book of questions?"
"Yes," Louis replied. "I have several pages."
---------------
:>