Satans_Good_Child
- I dare Jack and Hiccup to get magically turned into 5-year olds, somehow. I dare Merida, Rapunzel and Elsa to act as their mothers! I'm Evil!
~ • ~
Rapunzel: How convenient! *pulls out a potion out of nowhere*
Merida: What do ye mean? Lads are already 5 years old.
HiJack: Hey!
Elsa: And we kinda already act as their mothers now anyway. *shrugs*
HiJack: Double HEY!
Rapunzel: Yeah, if you call making-out with your children motheri—
Elsa: RAPUNZEL!
Merida: I don't make-out with anyone's child. Ever!
Hiccup: *wipes lipstick stain from lips*
Jack: I am literally a Guardian, a spirit over 300 years old and getting older... well, I'm technically trapped in this age but— uh, I have fought evil and saved the world multiple times! Which is like.... twice, you know?
Hiccup: And I'm... well, I may not be 300 but... I'm older than five, that's for sure...! *crosses arms*
Rapunzel: *opens potions* Open wide, boys!
HiJack: ...
Hiccup: Take good care of us, please... If I ever get into an.... accident.... I'm so sorry. Just slap me in the face. Thank you.
Jack: Well, I, for one, am not worried at all. I'm sure Elsa will take great care of me. And she might even let me fe—
Elsa: No.
Rapunzel: *makes HiJack drink the potions*
Hiccup: Blegh! Ugh! Aguguguh. *wipes tongue*
Jack: *drops dead*
HiJack:
Rapunzel: Aww!
Elsa: *holds in laughter*
Merida: Just like mi brothers... och!
Rapunzel: I'll handle the feeding! *pulls out a freshly baked chocolate pie out of her hair*
Merida: Wait, how did you—?
Rapunzel: Dig in, boys!
HiJack: CHOCOLATE! *mouthwatering**about to grab the pie*
Rapunzel: *pulls pie away* Wait! Oh, I almost forgot! This isn't healthy for you, boys! That's just Bad Parenting 101! You could get cavaties! *chucks chocolate pie into window* Dodged a bullet there!
Elsa: No! *dives out of the window to grab the pie* *dies* *is revived by Billy* *eats the chocolate pie whole* *walks back to the room*
HiJack: *about to cry*
Rapunzel: This is better! *pulls out a salad from out of hair*
Merida: *still astonished* Seriously?! How do you do tha'? Is there a pocket dimension in your hair or what?
Rapunzel: Now, you can dig in, boys!
Hiccup: Oooh! Okay, ma'am. *eats salad*
Jack: Egh! No! *tries to fly away* *can't carry staff* *falls over to the weight of the staff*
Rapunzel: Nice try, mister! *snatches staff away from Jack* Can't let you flying out either. What kind of mother would that make me?
Jack: *teary-eyed* But—
Rapunzel: ENOUGH, JACK! YOU. ARE. NOT. LEAVING. THIS. TOWER. EVER!
Everyone except Rapunzel: ....
Rapunzel: Did I do mother right? *smiles*
Jack: *cries* WAAAAAH!
Merida: Crivens! *covers ears*
Elsa: Rapunzel...? What was all that about?
Rapunzel: What...? I mean, that's how Gothel raised me...? And I turned out okay, I think? *eye twitches*
Elsida: ...
Elsa: Okay, how about I... take over?
Hiccup: *burps after finishing salad* *yawns*
Jack: *wiping tears*
Elsa: Are you boys sleepy?
HiJack: Yes, Elsa... *eyes drooping*
Elsa: *carries HiJack in her arms* *tries not to die from their weight* *cradles the boys* *swipes pinky on their noses*
Jack: *grins* *nuzzles against Elsa* *closes eyes* *sleeps like a baby*
Hiccup: *shivering like there's no tomorrow (there probably won't be if he does die from hypothermia)* C-c-c-c-c-c-cold. Berk is n-n-n-n-nothing compared to t-t-t-t-his...!
Merida: Uh... Els?
Hiccup: *has an accident*
Merida: *facepalms*
Elsa: Whoops... did Anna and I do this too at infancy...?
Hiccup: Sowwy... *wants to cry*
Elsa: What if I... lock them in their room for years? That's what my parents di—?
Merida: Ooooookay. Let me at 'em! *pulls HiJack away from Elsa*
Jack: Nooooo...! *tries to grab at Elsa but is still pulled away*
Merida: *sits HiJack on the couch* Yer previous mothers were all too soft! I gotta teach you all.... tough love! My mum's love language!
HiJack: *gulps*
Merida: A five-year-old must be knowledgeable about her kingdom!
HiJack: ???
Merida: What's my kingdom, boys?!
Hiccup: D-done Rock?
Merida: Rapunzel's?
Jack: Coronus?
Merida: Close enough. Elsa's?
HiJack: ERRAND'S BELL!
Merida: Perfect.
Elsa: N-no, it's—
Merida: A five-year-old doesn't doodle! *steals away Hiccup's journal* *chucks out of window which is still caught by Toothless anyway*
Hiccup: Mine! *frowns*
Jack: *laughs at Hiccup*
Merida: A five-year-old does not chortle! Does not stuff her gob! Rises early! IS COMPASSIONATE! PATIENT! CAUTIOUS! CLEAN! AND MOST OF ALL, A FIVE-YEAR-OLD STRIVES FOR.... WELL, PERFECTION!!! *shoots arrow at nowhere* *breathes heavily*
HiJack: *are startled* AH! *ducks head* *bursts into tears*
HiJack: WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! ｡゜(｀Д')゜｡
Punzelsa: *exchange looks* *looks at Merida*
Rapunzel: *places hand on Merida* Mer...?
Rapunzel: *places hand on Elsa* Els...?
Elsida: *places hand on Rapunzel* Punzie...?
Meripunzelsa: We need to go to therapy.